there is a house built out of stone
wooden floors, walls and window sills
tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
this is a place where i don't feel alone
this is a place where i feel at home
'cause, i built a home
for you
for me

-to build a home by cinematic orchestra

-----

Nita was nervous. It had been 4 months since she’d last stepped on the ice, and despite getting the all clear, the teen was still worried that she wasn’t ready yet.

Her ribs, despite still having plates for another nine months, were fully healed and able to handle the physical pressure that came with the sport. But Nita would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared.

Her aggression, the thing that protected her from other players and from getting hurt, just wasn’t there anymore. She wasn’t angry at the world, which means she couldn’t be angry on the ice.

Without her aggression, Nita felt vulnerable, but she had little time to dwell on this concern as Charlotte was beckoning her onto the ice.

This was a private practice, an opportunity for Nita to get the feel for the sport again before introducing the team elements. She would just do a few drills and re-acquaint herself with her stick and her puck.

But Nita couldn’t help but hesitate before she let her first skate touch the ice.

“I can’t do it,” Nita blurted out as she hovered by the baseboard and looked at her coach who was in the middle of the rink.

“Yes, you can,” Charlotte said, only to receive a shake of Nita's head in the negative.

“I won’t be the same.”

Charlotte briefly glanced at Becky who was seated on the benches before deciding to include her sister in her next point.

“ Becbec, when was the last time you played hockey?” Charlotte called out.

“Like two years ago? A bit longer maybe,” Becky answered as she approached the player's box to better converse with her sister and kid. “Why?”

“Take my skates,” Charlotte instructed as she skated to the player’s box and entered it.

Nita, who made room for her to enter, stared at her coach in confusion as the woman sat on the bench and began to undo the laces of her skates.

“But you’re the coach,” Becky said despite kicking off her shoes and sitting next to Charlotte.

“Yes, and you’re her mother. Nita, if your mom can go back onto the ice after not playing for two years, you can go back out there after four months,” Charlotte encouraged as she kicked off her final skate and handed it off to Becky.

Charlotte slipped on her sister’s shoes before approaching Nita who still stood nervously by the edge of the ice.

“I know you’re worried that you won’t be as good, but I promise you it’s nothing we can’t work with. Sure, you’ll be a little bit rusty, but that’s what today is for. We’re here to work out your muscles and get re-acquainted with the ice, okay?”

Nita hesitated before nodding. She glanced behind Becky to see her mommy lace up her last skate before she stood up and approached the two of them.

“Alright, honey bee. Ready to get out there?” Becky asked as she wobbled a bit on her skates before coming up to the edge of the ice.

“Safety first,” Charlotte sing-songed as she grabbed a helmet from the bench and popped it onto the older woman’s head.

Becky rolled her eyes but clipped the chin strap into place before finally stepping onto the ice.

Despite feeling a bit unsteady, Becky was quick to find her balance. She did a small circle before returning to Nita who was waiting for her at the boards.

With outstretched hands, Becky approached Nita and offered her a comforting smile.

“We’ll take it slowly na,” Becky promised as she waited for her kid’s hands to grasp onto her own.

Nita took one steadying breath, and then another, before she reached out her own hands and grabbed to Becky's. Slowly, Becky skated backwards and led Nita towards the middle of the ice.

“You’re doing it,” Becky encouraged softly, her smile growing as she watched one appear on Nita's face.

“I’m doing it,” Nita breathed out as a relieved laugh slipped past her lips and she slowly released her grip on Becky's hands. “I’m finally doing it.”

Becky also began to lessen her hold on the teen until Nita was skating around independently with more conviction behind each push of her skates.

“That’s my girl!” Charlotte cheered from the player's box as Nita took a victorious skate around the rink.

“What’re we waiting for? Let’s grab our sticks,” Nita enthused as she hurried back to her coach to grab her stick so they could start their drills.

“ Baby, look this way,” Becky called out as she pulled up her phone to record the moment. “Your mama is going to love this.”

Nita, now with a stick at hand and a puck in front of her, waved at her mommy before she started to maneuver the puck around the ice and towards one of the nets.

Becky took a moment to record Nita going over some of her basic drills. She got a solid two minute video before Nita abandoned her drills and grabbed the other stick from Charlotte.

Becky stopped recording as her kid came to a stop in front of her with the stick outstretched as an offering.

“One on one?” Nita asked, making her mom laugh and nod in agreement.

“I’m not going to go easy on you,” Becky warned as she quickly sent the video off to Freen before she pocketed her phone and grabbed the stick.

Charlotte, who was watching on in amusement, decided to give her niece some advice. “Go easy on her, kid. Becbec is a sore loser.”

“Am not,” Becky practically whined as she joined Nita at the center of the ice.

“That’s the same tone you had when you lost at Scrabble last night,” Nita teased as she handed the puck over to Charlotte who had walked onto the ice to help them face off.

“That game is designed to break relationships,” Becky said with a huff. “Besides, I would’ve won if it weren’t for Emi.”

“You guys lost to a seven-year-old?” Charlotte asked incredulously, making Nita and Becky roll their eyes.

“She has a vast vocabulary,” Nita dismissed.

“You’re an English teacher,” Charlotte reminded her sister who couldn’t help but give her a slight shove in response.

“Just drop the damn puck already,” Becky said as she set her stick in the center.

“Don’t cry too hard when my player beats you,” Charlotte said before dropping the puck and allowing her niece and sister to have at it.

Despite their banter, Nita felt a wave of relief wash over her as she quickly took possession of the puck and found that many of her foundational skills were still in working order.

She moved with an ease that she thought she’d lost. The aggression wasn’t there, but the passion was, and Nita was pleased to find that it was enough to make her move like she did before.

-----

At a park not too far from the rink, Freen fondly watched as Emily and Athita played together on the jungle gym.

Irin and Engfa agreed to join the mom as emotional support since Freen was far too nervous to watch Nita's first time back on the ice.

She knew that her nervous energy would do very little to help Nita who was also on the edge, and she trusted Becky to offer all the support that Nita could need.

Instead of burdening Nita with more worries, the mom placed herself somewhere that was far away enough to keep her negative energy away, but close enough that she could get to her kid if she really needed her.

For the most part, Irin and Engfa were doing a great job of keeping Freen's mind off of things as they talked about everything going on in their lives.

The light chatting and her continuous observation of Emily and Athita running around together was eventually enough to ease her worries.

When it seemed like Freen had completely returned to earth, Irin decided to share some news that she’d been sitting with.

“ P'Po is coming back in a month,” Irin revealed as she briefly glanced at Athita.

“Really?” Freen asked.

“When did you find out?” Engfa followed up with, making Irin look at them again.

“A few days ago. It’s really shifted things for me and Richie,” Irin said.

“Shifted things how?” Freen pressed, making her younger friend shrug.

“We’ve been talking and we realized how much we love our relationship when it’s like this. Y’know, when we have someone to take care of together.”

“I can’t tell if that’s a good thing,” Engfa said cautiously as she suspiciously looked to Freen who could only shrug unsurely as well.

“I mean, we’d be fine without a kid too,” Irin quickly followed up. “We’re solid, always have been. I guess what I’m saying is, we aren’t ready to give up the routine we have with a kid in it yet.”

“So, what’re you thinking of doing then?” Freen asked as she recognized the glint of a brewing idea in Irin's eyes.

“ Richie proposed that we look into getting our foster licenses. I know we aren’t married yet or anything like that, but this isn’t with the intention of building a family. If it happens it happens, but we’re really just interested in offering a temporary place for kids before they find their forever families,” Irin explained, making Engfa smirk and Freen smile widely.

“That’s amazing, Irin,” Freen encouraged as she pulled her friend into a side hug.

“ Fa?” Irin asked as she looked at her friend who was still smirking suspiciously. “Shit, you think this is a bad idea, don’t you?”

“No, no, no,” Engfa rushed out. “Not at all. I think it’s great. You just remind me of Freen two years ago. She said the same thing about fostering with the intention to offer a temporary home and look at her now. Married and with two kids.”

“And?” Freen asked, only to receive a shrug from Engfa.

“I’m in full support of it because, despite some of the hard stuff, this is the happiest I’ve ever seen Freen and I hope that you get the same experience out of it,” Engfa said to Irin who audibly awed before hugging her as well.

“Again, Richie and I aren’t aiming to adopt quite yet,” Irin said to both women who could only roll their eyes in response.

“Just you wait,” Freen warned as she fondly looked at Emily who was giggling hysterically at something Athita said. “They can steal your heart without you even knowing it.”

-----

A few hours later, after Emily had spent all of her energy in the park, and Freen received a text from Becky that Nita had spent all her energy on the ice, the mom drove back to the rink to pick up her two other girls and take them home.

Pulling up to the rink entrance, Freen parked her car and exited to pop the trunk for Nita who had some of her gear.

“Did you see me, ma?” Nita asked as she left the building with Becky in tow.

“I did!” Freen enthused as she hurried to pull her daughter into an embrace. “You looked so good out there,” Freen said in reference to the videos that both Becky and Charlotte had sent her.

“What about me?” Becky teased as she playfully winked at her wife who could only roll her eyes before she kissed her in greeting.

“Not bad for someone your age,” Freen jabbed as she took Nita's things to load up in the car.

“Someone my age?” Becky asked indignantly as Nita giggled. “Oi., don’t you start,” Becky warned the teen before she playfully jabbed her side.

Nita couldn’t help herself as more laughter fell from her mouth.

“I am only a year younger than you, babe,” Becky said as she returned her attention to her wife who was shutting the trunk.

“And if you had put me out there, I would’ve broken a hip,” Freen said as if to further prove her point.

“So, this is what marriage does? It ages us when we’re only in our early thirties?” Becky asked Freen who sighed out a laugh before she pulled her closer by the loops of her jeans.

“Only if we let it,” Freen said as she double-checked that Nita was in the car before she pulled Becky in for a more languid kiss.

Becky, who was previously worried about the age joke, allowed herself to briefly get lost in the kiss as she cupped Freen's face in an effort to pull her closer.

Not even ten seconds later, the honking of their car startled them apart. Freen rushed to fix her hair that Becky managed to messy with her fingertips as she glanced through the trunk window to see Nita shaking her head at them.

“Stop sucking face!” Nita hollered from inside the car.

“Ka! No eating face!” Emily agreed, making both women laugh as they straightened themselves up and moved to get into the car.

“You guys are worse than teenagers,” Nita scoffed as her moms took their seats and buckled in.

“See, babe. Marriage doesn’t age us,” Freen said to Becky who laughed in agreement and started the car.

“It should,” Nita said matter-of-factly as she leaned forward and grabbed the aux chord from the center console.

“Hey, who said you got to pick the music?” Becky asked as she bopped Nita's nose. “Also, you better have that seatbelt on in two seconds, honey bee.”

Nita laughed as she shuffled her playlist and sat back.

“I already have it on,” Nita said as she tugged on the strap across her chest.

“I’m glad you don’t listen to screaming music anymore, Nity,” Emily said as she nodded her head along to the song that played through the car.

“Me too,” Freen agreed as she briefly turned in her seat to look at both of her girls. “Hearing aids would’ve been too expensive.”

“I don’t miss that heavy metal stuff,” Nita said as she also gently nodded her head along to the music. “This stuff is better. It’s peaceful.”

“Peaceful is good,” Becky agreed as she continued to drive home.

“Makes me feel warm,” Emily said as she smiled fondly and looked out the window.

“Me too,” Nita agreed as she grabbed her little sister’s hand.

The four occupants of the car fell silent as they allowed the peaceful music to wash over them.

Becky, who didn’t want this to end just yet, decided to take a few extra turns to lengthen their ride. Just a few extra minutes of time like this. Just a few extra minutes of warmth. That was all they needed.

-----

The following week, Nita had her first official practice with her team. To her advantage, Nita had Minnie and Charlotte as constant presences in her life and was able to stay up to date with team information.

As of recent, Ally left the team, and in her place came a new player by the name of Prim.

Minnie insisted that Prim was much nicer than Ally and was a great team player, but Nita couldn’t help her hesitation.

New people always have and always will be a challenge for Nita to get comfortable with, and, despite her better judgment, the teen threw her walls all the way up as she entered the changing room and spotted the new person sitting where she usually did.

Deciding to not bother with getting her place back, Nita shuffled over to Ally's old spot and sat herself down before she riffled through her bag.

“ Nita, right?” A voice asked, making Nita glance up to meet the bright brown eyes in front of her.

“Ka,” Nita shortly replied before she re-busied herself with her bag.

“ Prim, Prim Chanikarn,” the girl continued as she stuck out a hand.

Nita froze as she glanced at the extended hand before looking back up at Prim's face once again.

“The other girls have said so many good things about you. Sorry to hear about your injury.”

Nita, who was already of few words, was shocked by the tangents that Prim could go on. She seemed to have something always ready to say. Maybe Prim didn’t like silence.

Realizing that the other girl was still awaiting a handshake, Nita allowed her hand to weakly grasp onto the extended one of Prim.

Prim's smile widened as she shook Nita's hand.

“So, how’re you doing now? No residual damage?” Prim asked as she clipped her shoulder pads into place.

“I’m good. I’ve still got some plates in for a few more months,” Nita said, deciding to meet Prim halfway and supply a fuller response.

“Sick. You’re part robot then,” Prim said with a small laugh.

To her surpise, Nita allowed a smile to slip her as well as she nodded her agreement.

“That’s what my little sister believes,” Nita agreed and she started to change into her gear.

“ Emily, right?” Prim asked, making Nita freeze a bit.

“Um… how-?”

“ Coach Charlotte always shares funny stories about her. She sounds like a real fire-cracker.”

“Does she talk about us a lot?” Nita asked, making Prim shake her head in the negative.

“Nah. It’s just the occasional story here or there about her favourite nieces,” Prim said as she shot a playful wink Nita's direction. “Are there any perks there? Being the niece of the coach I mean?”

“The blackmail content,” Minnie spoke up as she started to tie her skates. “ Charlotte and her siblings are constantly giving us enough info about one another to hold against them for years.”

“Nice,” Prim said with a nod. “Any way I can get in on that?”

“Submit your application to Charlotte directly to be considered for a roll as a new family member,” Minnie joked, making Prim laugh and Nita smile weakly.

“Is there an audition process?” Prim asked, mainly to Nita who could only supply a shrug.

“A rigorous one,” Minnie said as she finally stood up and started to head for the door. “I’ll see you guys on the ice.”

Prim waved to Minnie before she grabbed her own helmet and stick in preparation to leave the changing room as well.

“You don’t say much,” Prim observed as Nita tied off her last skate.

“I’m not much of a talker,” Nita supplied with a shrug.

“Everyone’s chatty. You just have to get to the right conversation.”

“Not me,” Nita said with a shake of her head.

“Hmm, we’ll see,” Prim said ominously as she stood up. “Y’know, I think we’re going to be really good friends in no time.”

Nita paused her actions of packing up her regular clothes and looked at the other girl in slight confusion.

“What makes you say that?” Nita asked.

She wasn’t anything special, and her lack of conversation skills would deter many people her own age from pursuing further relations.

Prim took in a long breath before smiling widely.

“I am a very intuitive person. And I just know these things.”

Despite her best efforts, Nita was a bit awe-struck by the idea of someone wanting to be her friend. In hindsight, the girl never had a proper friend. As a kid, she was too shy to try to make any, and as a teen, she was too closed off to even allow others to get close.

Minnie was a friend, but that was almost by obligation if Nita were being honest. She appreciated Minnie, but she wasn’t sure if the girl reciprocated that feeling and felt like her friend by choice.

But here Prim was, completely new and completely blind to all of Nita's insecurities. She carried herself with a confidence that suggested that she was right; they were going to be friends because Prim said so, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Still a bit dumbfounded by Prim's forwardness and insistence that they were going to be friends, Nita found herself tongue-tied and unable to respond.

Thankfully, Charlotte decided to enter the changing room and clap her hands together before waving them in a ‘hurry up’ motion.

“C’mon, ladies. We don’t have all day,” Charlotte addressed the six straggling players.

“Coach, did you get my jersey in yet?” Prim asked as she walked over to Charlotte who grinned and grabbed one of the jerseys that were hung over her shoulder.

“Fresh from the factory,” Charlotte said as she unfolded the material to reveal the number 23 with Chanikarn written over top it.

“Gotta love that industrial smell,” Prim said as she quickly tugged the item over her head and glanced down to check the fit. “It’s perfect. Thanks, Coach.”

Charlotte nodded and patted Prim's shoulder, a silent encouragement for the teen to get a move on.

Nita, who was now the last one in the changing room, glanced up at Charlotte as the older woman approached the bench and sat next to her.

“How’re you feeling?” Charlotte asked as she gently rubbed Nita's back.

“A bit nervous. I know I destroyed my mom at that mock game last week, but she hasn’t played in a while. The other girls have been playing this whole time and I’m worried I won’t be as good as them anymore.”

“Hey, I’ll take anything you can give me right now,” Charlotte said as she moved her hand onto Nita's shoulder pad where she gave the girl a gentle shake. “This team needs you and I need you. We want to get to the finals again this year, don’t we?”

“Ka,” Nita said with a small smile as she nodded her agreement.

“Just remember to breathe and communicate with your team,” Charlotte reminded before she grabbed the jersey from over her shoulder. “I’m still waiting for your proper jersey to come in with your name and whatnot, but this’ll have to do for now.”

When her injury happened, Nita's old jersey was cut open on the ride over to the hospital and, as a consequence, was tossed out without anyone knowing.

Deciding to not dwell too much on the past, Nita accepted the plain team-jersey from her coach and briefly looked at the team symbol before she pulled the material over her head.

“Good to see you in our blue again, Chankimha,” Charlotte said as she smiled kindly at her player.

“I’m not a Chankimha yet,” Nita reminded, though it was more for herself than it was for Charlotte.

Nita, despite her best efforts, was still a pessimist and worried that getting too excited about her adoption day would cause something to happen to prevent it.

“Yet,” Charlotte said as she pumped her shoulder into Nita's. “Only a few more weeks, right?”

“Right,” Nita agreed as she grabbed her stick.

“Alrighty then. Let’s go kill this practice, ka?”

Nita nodded her agreement and stood up. With her helmet and stick at hand, and her coach in tow, Nita headed towards the rink and mentally prepared herself for the practice that was going to either make or break her confidence for the rest of the season.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Nita couldn’t help but let her mind wander as she stepped onto the ice to start her drills. Prim was there, and she was smiling at her as she quickly approached with a puck being pushed around in front of her by her stick.

“What do you say to being my partner for the drills?” Prim asked as she came to stop in front of Nita.

“Okay,” Nita agreed, making Prim smile wider, if that were even possible.

“See! Nita, this is the start of a beautiful friendship,” Prim enthused as she passed the puck off to Nita before she started to skate away.

To Nita's surprise, she wasn’t scared of the prospect of a new relationship. In fact, she felt excited.

A beautiful friendship. She could use one of those.

-----

Later that evening, as the family of four sat for dinner and shared bits and pieces about their days, Freen could tell that Nita was hiding something.

It wasn’t anything bad, at least as far as she could tell, but Nita was definitely mulling over something and she seemed happier than usual.

“And that’s when Mr. Non told me to do the spelling bee,” Emily recounted as she spoke about her school day. “It’s only for third graders and older but he said my spelling is really good.”

“That’s amazing, Bubs,” Freen encouraged as she turned her full attention to Emily. Nita's secrets could wait a few more minutes.

“Did you know spelling bees aren’t actually about bees?” Emily asked as she forked some salmon into her mouth.

“Really ka?” Becky asked in feign shock. “What’s a spelling bee about then?” the English teacher asked, opting to humour Emily for a few more minutes.

“It’s about spelling really weird words and beating other peoples butts,” Emily said with a proud nod, her confidence made Becky and Freen laugh as they shared a glance.

“I’m sure there’s a nicer way to say ‘beating other people’s butts’,” Freen gently reminded.

“Yeah it’s called ‘kicking ass’,” Nita supplied with a satisfied grin.

“Hey,” both Freen and Becky said with disapproving shakes of their head.

“Ass. A-S-S,” Emily spelled before looking to her sister for approval.

“Spot on,” Nita said as she gently ruffled Emily's hair.

“We don’t say ass,” Becky said in the most parental tone she could force.

“You just said it,” Nita cheekily reminded.

“We’re adults,” Freen said, making the teen roll her eyes playfully.

“ Emi, spell ‘excuses’,” Nita told her sister as she shot her moms a triumphant smirk.

“Excuses. E-X-C-U-S-E-S,” Emily spelt out, earning a nod of approval from the other three people at the table.

“I’m going to kick ass at the spelling bee!” Emily said with a proud nod of her head.

“ Emily,” Becky warned making the girl sigh before she raised her hands in mock surrender.

“Sorry, sorry,” the little girl said before returning to her food. “I can’t wait to be a grown-up to say those words.”

“You know more?” Freen asked, making Nita laugh and Emily point at the teen.

“ Phi taught me lots of ‘em,” Emily explained, making both her mothers sigh.

“Just don’t say them around other kids or your teachers,” Becky practically begged.

“Or around the family. Just keep them to yourself, okay Bubs?” Freen asked, making the little girl nod her agreement.

“Okie dokie,” Emily said, allowing the conversation to end there.

“What about you, Nita?” Becky asked as she nodded her head to the teen and gently nudged her foot under the table. “You’ve been awfully perky this evening.”

“You noticed too?!” Freen asked excitedly, making Nita blush profusely while her mothers giddily shared their abilities to detect anything.

“I just had a really good practice,” Nita excused as she looked down at her plate and tried to hide her smile.

“I’ve seen you win whole hockey games and not smile like this. Something crazy must’ve happened at a practice to warrant this response,” Freen said as she used her fork to motion at her kid’s joyful face.

“I just…” Nita started to say before she paused and shrugged. “I made my first friend today. Like a proper friend. I’ve never had one before,” Nita revealed making both her mothers smiles soften as they shared a quick glance.

“Baby,” Freen cooed as she got up and quickly hugged her kid from behind her seat. “I’m so happy to hear that.”

“Is it the new girl?” Becky asked as she smiled fondly at Freen embracing a still blushing Nita.

“Ka,” Nita said before laughing a bit once Freen released her mama bear hug. “Her name’s Prim and she insisted that we were going to be best friends. She didn’t even mind that I don’t talk a lot.”

Freen, who looked like she was going to melt at any moment, finally reset herself at her seat and grabbed her fork once more.

“You’re welcome to bring her over whenever you’d like. And if you want to hang out anywhere just let mommy or me know and we can drive you,” Freen said, making the teen nod gratefully.

“I think it’s just a club friendship for now. But Prim is pretty bossy, in a good way, so she might convince me to hang out off the ice.”

“Look at our girls, bebe,” Freen said proudly as she paused to admire her two daughters. “We’re just killing it as a family right now, aren’t we?”

“I just made a friend,” Nita said, waving off the compliment.

But to Freen it was much more. She knew that she’d already missed many of the girls’ firsts.

She’s missed first words and first steps, first days of school and first holidays, but this was different. She got to see Nita making her first friend.

It was a first that she didn’t miss, and
Freen was so incredibly grateful for that.

Not to mention, she knew that her kid was healing more that she was showing. Despite Nita still refusing to interact with her peers at school, she was clearly opening up more in intimate settings.

And if she allowed a perfect stranger to be her best friend in less than three hours, then it was clear that she did a lot of growing in the last few months.

So, to Freen this was more than just ‘making a friend’. It was a first that she got to cherish for eternity, and Freen was so grateful for that.

“You did more than that,” Freen said as she grasped her kid’s hand lovingly. “I’m so proud of you for opening up to new people. And Emi, I am so incredibly proud of you for trying new things. You are so smart and I’m happy that Mr. Non sees that too. You are going to kick ass at your spelling bee.”

“You said ass!” Emily cheerfully said as she clapped her hands and giggled.

“Adult,” Becky said as she pointed to herself. “Child,” Becky then said as she bopped Emily's nose.

“Mommy,” Emily corrected as she returned the gesture and bopped Becky's nose before turning her finger on herself, "Emi."

“Your argument is still invalid. No swearing,” Becky said with finality before she lovingly stroked Emily's head.

“Darn,” Emily said as she crinkled her nose.

“You know, instead of saying ‘darn’ there’s a word that’s like a half-swear but isn’t really bad,” Nita started to say before both her moms shot her warning looks.

“ Nita,” Becky and Freen said in unison, making the teen fall into a fit of giggles.

“I’m sure kidding,” Nita said past her laughter. “She already knows that one too!”

“Damn,” Emily said, once more making her mothers sigh.

Freen rested her head in her hands and gently tugged at her roots.

“Grey hair. You children are giving me grey hair.”

-----

This was it.

The day had come for Nita and Emily to officially be adopted into the family, and as per usual, the chaos followed them all the way to courtroom on the morning of February 14th.

It was 9am, and in order to look like a presentable bunch, the family of four woke up at 6am which earned them a cranky child and an even crankier teenager.

The crankiness, however, was thankfully abandoned as soon as their car pulled into a parking spot at the courthouse and both girls glanced out their windows to see the big building before them.

“It looks scary,” Nita observed as she looked at the cold beige walls and the industrial paneled windows that framed the large entrance.

“Well, nothing scary is happening in there,” Freen promised as she turned in the front seat and gently squeezed Nita's knee. “This is a good memory. We’ll make it a good memory.”

Nita smiled at her mama’s efforts to make her feel better and nodded her agreement before glancing out her window once more.

“We don’t want to be late,” Becky said as she unclipped her seatbelt and stepped out of the car.

Emily and Freen quickly followed, and after three steadying breaths, Nita emerged from the vehicle as well.

“Look who’s finally here,” Irin jeered as she approached the family from where she stood at the steps.

By the looks of it, most of the family already beat them to the courthouse. Even Babe and Billy, who were with sleepy Bleu.

“We had two grouches to hurry out of the house,” Freen explained as she pointed to both girls with a laugh.

“You’re one to talk, Freenky,” Engfa said as she approached the family of four as well. “I’m sure you were no ray of sunshine a few hours ago.”

“She’s not wrong,” Becky said, moving away from Freen before she could swat her arm as a laugh slipped past her lips.

“Who’re we missing?” Freen asked as she glanced at the group that had gathered.

“Heng and Nam are on their way. Nacha had a blow-out as they were leaving the house and they had to change her,” Irin explained. “Khun Araya and Sunny are two minutes away. Khun Nune and Pete aren’t too far behind them. And P'Po and Tita went inside to use the restroom but that’s it for the group.”

“Perfect,” Freen said with a satisfied nod before she motioned towards Babe and Billy. “I’m going to quickly give Bleu a squeeze before we have to head inside.”

Irin, Engfa and Becky laughed at Freen who hurried away.

Nita, who heard the comment, seemed a bit less amused by it.

“You don’t wish that Emi and I were younger, do you?” Nita abruptly asked Becky, making the older woman look at her in surprise. “I mean, Emi's little. But you don’t have any regrets adopting an older kid, right?”

“ Nita,” Becky said softly as she shook her head and gently guided the teen away from the group.

“Your mama and I have absolutely no regrets about this. We are so happy that we get to call you ours forever. Sure, you’re sixteen, but the last time I checked we both have a lot of life left to live. So no, we don’t wish you guys were younger.”

“But a baby would be more exciting, wouldn’t it?”

“Didn’t you just hear Aunty Irin? Baby Nacha had a blow-out. She literally shit herself so bad that her diaper couldn’t even hold it. Neither your or your sister have that problem, so I can safely say that adopting a baby wouldn’t be more exciting.”

Thankfully, Becky's response earned a giggle from Nita who found the idea comical.

“That’s gross,” Nita said as she crinkled her nose.

“It is. Thank you for not being a baby and doing that to us,” Becky said as she laughed as well and pulled the teen into an embrace.

“Hey now, we want a part of that,” Araya called out as she, Sunny, Nune, and Pete approached the awaiting party.

“We were wondering when you’d grace us with your presence,” Becky cheekily said as she released her soon-to-be legal daughter and went to hug the new arrivals.

Not five minutes later, Heng and Nam also arrived and just as the next round of greetings settled down, Tong stepped out of the courthouse with two files at hand and a wide smile on his face.

“Looks like we’ve got quite the audience today,” Tong said as he made his way down half the steps. “We’re all ready for you inside.”

Freen, who’d finally stopped squeezing Bleu's sweet baby cheek, giddily went to grab her two kids and wife before allowing P'Tong to lead the way to the courtroom.

As they got closer to the room, Nita noticed her anxiety rise with each step.

This was it.

It was finally happening.

She was getting her forever in less than thirty minutes.

Once the large group was ushered into the room, and all of the official introductory legalities were performed, Nita had a chance to size up their judge.

Judge Tassawan was an aged woman, with deep forehead lines, and heavy frown ones to match. She was, to say the least, unpleasant on the surface.

It came as a true shock to everyone that as soon as they’d all been re-seated, Judge Tassawan stood up and waved someone over from the side.

“Family court offers a lot of cases,” the judge said as she accepted the small speaker from an officer. “Not many of them are pleasant,” she said truthfully as she retook her seat and looked at the family. “But this – all of this right here – is why I became a family court judge. I get to make you a true and permanent family today. And sometimes you need a really good song to help you in the moment.”

With that, Judge Tassawan hit play on the speaker and allowed the upbeat tempo of Take Yours to play throughout the room.

“I guess we’ll get right to it then,” Judge Tassawan said as she smiled in satisfaction after earning some laughs from the group.

“We are here, on this very special day, to officially create a new family. Sarocha and Rebecca Armstrong-Chankimha, do you wish to adopt Pranita and Emily?”

Freen and Becky, already both teary-eyed and sniffling, nodded quickly at the question.

“Yes, Your Honour,” Becky agreed as she wiped under her eyes.

“With every fiber of my being, Your Honour,” Freen promised as she too wiped her eyes and grasped at Nita's hand which had slipped into her own.

“ Emily, do you wish for Sarocha and Rebecca to be your moms?” Judge Tassawan asked next, addressing the little girl who was giddily swinging her legs in her seat.

“Yes!” Emily agreed with a large nod for emphasis.

“And Pranita, do you wish for Sarocha and Rebecca to be your moms?” Judge Tassawan asked, turning all of the attention onto the teen.

Nita, who had been climbing closer towards losing her composure, finally felt herself crack when the judge asked her the question.

Less than six months ago she’d lost the only person she thought she could ever consider to be her mother. But then here she was today, desperately watching the minutes tick by until she could officially belong to Freen and Becky; the two women who managed to love her more than she’d ever been loved before.

Despite the sob that slipped past Nita's lips, the teen was quick to fervently nod her agreement and crack a smile. She wanted this so badly and she wanted the judge to know it.

“Yes,” Nita said as shuddered through a breath and tried to regain some of her composure. “Please let me have them as my moms forever.”

Judge Tassawan smiled sympathetically at the teen and nodded her head. It was a silent promise that she would make it happen.

“Alrighty then. By the authority vested in me, by the state of Bangkok, I now pronounce you a family.”

With the simple hit of a gavel onto a block, Nita and Emily went from Anantrakul to Armstrong-Chankimha.

From foster kids to adopted ones. And the relief that flooded the courtroom could be felt for miles.

The crowd cheered and hollered their approval while Emily excitedly jumped up to hug her mommies.

Nita, still very overwhelmed with all that had happened in under five minutes, fully broke down and cried into her hands.

It was a long time coming, but she was finally able to breathe easy knowing that this was permanent.

No more social workers or foster parents that could decide where she slept that night.

No more empty promises that the next home would be better.

No more worrying about who was
going to keep Emily safe when she couldn’t.

No more worrying about who was going to keep her safe when she couldn’t.

“Babygirl,” Freen cooed as she noticed the crying teen.

Gently, Freen positioned herself into a crouch so she could better look at the girl’s face. With gentle hands, Freen replaced Nita's with her own as she cupped the teen's cheeks and wiped at the tears with her thumbs.

“Please tell me these are happy tears.”

“They are,” Nita promised with a nod. “I’m so happy,” she said as she uncovered her face and wiped her cheeks. Nita paused and looked at Freen for a beat.

This was the woman that loved her through everything. Through her fighting, through her meltdowns, through her constant efforts to push her away. Freen was there.

Without Freen's incredible stubbornness, Nita wouldn’t be here.

She owed everything to her mama, but she didn’t know how to express it, so Nita offered the only thing she knew that could convey it.

Nita shifted forward and hugged her mama tightly. It said thank you.

It said…

You saved me.
You fought for me.
You gave me forever.
You loved me.

It said…

I love you.

All in one embrace.

And as the chaos flowed around the room as everyone embraced and celebrated the new family, Freen and Nita held onto each other for just a few beats longer.

Nita knew she had awaiting family members who wanted to celebrate with her.

But right now, in the embrace of her mama and with the feel of gentle kisses falling onto her head, Nita felt most at home. And that was all that mattered.

-----

“Party at the Armstrong's,” Sunny reminded as the large group made their way out of the courtroom and into the lobby.

“I’ve got some brownies cookies,” Nune said as she lovingly squeezed Nita's arm and winked at the teen.

“And I’ve got the chocolate cake with sprinkles,” Araya said, making Emily bounce excitedly.

“This is going to be the best party ever!” Emily enthused to Athita who nodded and started jumping with her friend.

“It’s almost like they’re already hyped up on sugar,” Potida commented, making Freen laugh and nod her agreement.

“Let’s hope the sugar crash doesn’t hit until the evening,” Freen added, making the older woman nod as well.

Nita who was walking under the arm of Becky, seemed to spot someone sitting by the doors and stood up a bit straighter.

“I’ll meet you guys at the car,” Nita said to her mommy who was talking to Marima about something.

Becky, who didn’t see who Nita was headed towards, allowed the teen to slip away without a question as she was deeply invested in something Marima was saying.

Nita hurried over to the girl who sat on a bench with a gift bag at her feet.

“I thought I’d missed you,” Prim said as she noticed Nita approaching.

The older teen stood up and grabbed the bag off the ground before meeting Nita halfway.

“What’re you doing here?” Nita asked curiously, making Prim motion around the space.

“You got adopted, dude! I couldn’t let the day pass without giving you a gift as congratulations.”

“And I’m guessing you grilled Minnie for the details?” Nita asked with a laugh as she accepted the gift bag.

“I don’t grill and tell. Now open your gift. I want to see your reaction,” Prim urged as she grabbed Nita's hand and gave her a little jostle.

“Okay, okay. Hold your horses,” Nita said as she laughed again and pulled the decorative paper out of the top of the bag.

Inside was a book, and after pulling it out to further inspect it, Nita was surprised to see it was a sketchbook.

It was a fancy, leather-bound, one no less with the nice kind of paper that Nita always wanted to get her hands on.

“How did you…?” Nita started to ask, only to have the other girl shake her head.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Prim interrupted as she covered Nita's lips with a finger. “I don’t grill and tell, remember?”

“This is amazing, Prim,” Nita said as she ran a hand over the leather cover. “I don’t know what to say. I’ve never… you’re my first real friend and I’m sort of new to all of this.”

“It’s easy,” Prim promised as she waved her hand nonchalantly. “You say ‘thank you’, and then promise to make the first sketch in there of me.”

Nita laughed lightly at how obvious it was and nodded before repeating after her friend.

“Thank you ka, Prim. Really. And I promise to make the first sketch in here of you.”

“You better get my good side,” Prim warned as she angled her chin up a bit.

“Both your sides are perfect.”

Nita didn’t really process what she said before she said it, and once it was out of her mouth she found herself blushing profusely.

“Is that so, Chankimha?” Prim asked with a smirk, only making Nita blush more. “I’m screwing with you. Thanks na for the compliment,” Prim said before she gave Nita a gentle push. “I’ll see you at the game tomorrow, alright na?”

Nita nodded and smiled at her friend before glancing back at the still lingering group of people.

Just as Prim moved to walk away, Nita decided to stop her.

“Wait – Prim. We’re having a party and I’d really like it if you came,” Nita said, making Prim smile widely and step closer once again.

“Will there be cookies?” Prim asked as she cocked an eyebrow.

“ Brownies,” Nita said with a nod.

“My favourite,” Prim said, making Nita break out into a wider smile.

“Me too!” Nita said enthusiastically.

“No duh,” Prim said with a laugh. “It’s your adoption party. They better have your favourite cookie there.”

“So, are the cookies bribery enough?” Nita asked, making Prim mockingly ponder the thought for a beat before she nodded.

“You’re too cute to say no to,” Prim said, making Nita's blush return without warning. “Just text me the address and I’ll be there.”

“Okay., Ka,” Nita said dumbfoundedly as she nodded her head. “Thanks again for the sketchbook.”

“Thanks for promising to make me your first muse. I hope to see it in an art gallery someday.”

“Art gallery is a bit farfetched,” Nita reminded, only to have Prim wave her off.

“I’m sure you have some wicked skill with a pencil.”

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

“Do me justice, Chankimha,” Prim warned as she started to walk backwards.

“I will,” Nita promised as she waved off her friend. “I’ll see you later.”

“Later na,” Prim re-affirmed as she winked at Nita before turning on her heel and heading out the door.

Nita paused and watched Prim walk away through the glass doors.

“C’mon, Nita. Time to celebrate this circus!” Becky urged as the rest of the group exited from the doors on the other side of the lobby leaving only herself, Freen, and Emily in the space.

“We gotta go eat cake, Nity,” Emily reminded with urgency in her tone.

“I’m coming,” Nita promised as she hurried to her family and allowed Becky to re-wrap her arm around her.

“Who was that?” Freen asked in reference to the girl that she spotted her daughter speaking with as they started to walk to the car.

“ Prim. My friend that I told you guys about a few weeks ago.”

“So that’s Prim,” Becky hummed as she motioned to the bag. “What’d she give you?”

“A sketchbook,” Nita said as she pulled the item out to show off to her moms.

“That's a nice book. And Prim, she’s a pretty girl too,” Freen observed, making Becky flick her ear and Nita blush once more.

“Is she your girlfriend, Nity?” Emily asked, making Nita quickly shake her head while their moms laughed.

“No. She’s my friend,” Nita said as she returned her sketchbook to the bag.

“We’re just happy you know someone as kind as her,” Freen promised, as she pressed a loving kiss to Nita's forehead.

“I invited her to the party. I hope that’s okay,” Nita said as she left Becky's side to go to her door of the car.

“Of course it’s okay,” Becky said as she stepped up to the driver’s door. “Okay. Hold on. Let’s all take a minute here.”

“Here?” Freen asked as she looked around the slowly emptying parking lot. “Why here?”

“We’re about to get into this car as the official Armstrong-Chankimha. Don’t you want to embrace that?” Becky asked, making Freen and Nita shrug while Emily nodded her affirmation and grabbed her mommy’s hand.

“Alright then,” Freen said as she took in a big deep breath. “This is it, guys. This is our family.”

“It’s a good family,” Nita said, making her moms nod in agreement.

“The Armstrong-Chankimha's,” Becky said as a smile came to her face.

“Forever, right?” Emily asked, making the older three people nod happily.

“Forever,” Nita affirmed. “Thank you for letting us be apart of your family, moms.”

“No,” Freen said with a shake of her head. “Thank you both for being our family.”

-----

At the party, Nita found herself chatting with Nam and Billy while she sat with Bleu in her arms and admired the sleeping one year-old baby.

For the most part, she did her best to engage with the two older women and ask questions about her little cousins, but after a while Nita found herself tuning out their voices and just staring at Bleu's peaceful little face.

“Was I that little?” Emily asked as she looked over her sister’s shoulder to see the dark-haired toddler.

“Mh-hmm. But you felt bigger because I was younger when you were born,” Nita explained as she softly caressing Bleu's chubby cheeks.

“Did you like me better when I was itty bitty like baby Nacha or when I was the size of baby Bleu?” Emily went on the ask as she pointed to the other baby, which was a year younger than Bleu.

“I loved you,” Nita gently corrected before answering, “from the moment you were born to now. Itty bitty and this size,” Nita promised as she smiled at her little sister.

“Do you want to hold Nacha, Emi?” Nam asked as she watched the sisters talk.

“Can I?” Emily asked excitedly as she approached the older woman.

“You’re good with him,” Billy commented to Nita as Nam became invested in teaching Emily how to hold the smaller baby.

“He’s an easy baby.”

Billy couldn’t help but laugh and shake his head. “I wish. Poor Babe had to chased him around when he finally learned to walk. He gets fussy sometimes too,”

“It’s only been a year,” Nita excused for her uncle. “Besides, Emi was the same. She was so fussy at the start until I learned how to massage her hands to get her to calm down. They all have their little thing that makes them happy.”

Billy, and most of the family for that matter, never really had a chance to hear about Nita's experience of raising a baby at the age of ten.

Now being face to face with it, Billy couldn’t help but slightly frown when he was presented with this tidbit of information from Nita.

“Everyone makes that face too,” Nita said with a small laugh, making Billy quickly alter his expression.

“What face? I’m not making a face,” Billy excused as he waved off the teen.

“I know it’s weird to hear. Raising a kid at ten isn’t exactly normal.”

Billy, who seemed to sit with a thought for a beat, decided to ask a personal question next. “I mean, now that you’ve opened up that can of worms, I’ve been curious about something.”

“Go ahead,” Nita prompted as she briefly looked back at Bleu and stroked his chubby cheek.

“Was it hard handing over that parenting role to Freen and Becky? I’ve had this little guy for a year and I just know it would be impossible for me to let someone else take over.”

Nita sighed and twisted her lips before nodding.

“I still get a bit on edge when Freen and Becky take care of Emily's needs. She’s – we’re - so lucky to have them, but parenting Emily is not something I can turn off. I think I’ll always try to have a part in raising her, but I’m happy to let Freen and Becky step in as well.”

“Well, in case no one’s said it before, you raised a really good kid, Nita,” Billy complimented as he glanced over at Emily who was pressing a gentle kiss to Nacha's head.

Nita, who truthfully hadn’t heard that compliment before, found herself blushing as pride flooded her chest.

Despite their unideal circumstances growing up, Nita took some solace in knowing that she did some good through Emily. She wasn’t perfect – the both of them weren’t – but for having been forced to be a parent at the age of ten, Nita did a mighty fine job at shaping the little girl that Emily became.

“I appreciate that,” Nita said truthfully as she smiled at Billy.

Before further conversation could transpire, Bleu began to awake. Nita reset the little boy into his dad's arms before she stood up and looked around the yard.

Just then, Nita caught sight of Araya coming out the backdoor with Prim in tow.

“My friend’s here,” Nita said, using that as her excuse to leave Billy, Nam, and Emily at the patio furniture while she hurried to the new guest.

“Ahh, there she is!” Araya beamed as Nita approached her.

“I’m so glad you came!” Nita gushed to Prim who smiled kindly at her.

“Well, like I said, you’re too cute to say no to.”

Nita, who was too busy trying not to let Prim see her blush, failed to see her grandma catching wind of the comment and looking at them both in surprise.

Wordlessly, Araya left the teens to talk and hurried over to Becky and Marima who were laughing at something.

“Why didn’t you tell me that Nita had a crush?!” Araya demanded in an angry semi-whisper, making Becky reel a bit and blink a few times in shock.

“Excuse me?” Becky asked, only to earn a short shake of Araya's head.

“Nu-uh, missy. No playing dumb. I know you know.”

“Know what, Ma?” Becky pressed.

“Nita has a crush?” Marima asked, making Araya sigh.

“Yes! That sweet girl, Prim, just flirted up a storm with my grandbaby and now she’s blushing like her idiot mother does whenever Freen smiles at her the right way.”

“Really, Ma?” Becky asked incredulously. “You just have to drag my ass into this?”

“I like her taste,” Marima commented as she caught sight of Prim's face.

“Guys, that’s just her teammate,” Becky excused for her kid, waving off her Ma and sister’s suspicion.

“Sure,” Charlotte drawled as she stepped into the conversation. “Just her teammate,” Charlotte imitated Becky in a stupid tone.

“Don’t butt in,” Becky warned, making Charlotte shake her head.

“Of all the people that get to butt in, it should be me. I’ve watched these two practice together over the last month. They’re becoming a real powerhouse if you ask me.”

“Being a powerhouse on the ice has nothing to do with their relationship in real life,” Becky said, only to make her sisters and Ma roll their eyes.

“Ohh why are we rolling our eyes at Becbec?” Taran asked as she too stepped into the group.

“Nita has a crush on Prim,” Marima explained as she motioned to the teens in the distance.

“No fucking way!” Taran gushed as she bounced on her toes. “That’s so cute!”

“They’re just friends,” Becky continued to argue. “She told me and Freen herself.”

“Who told us what?” Freen asked, her arms wrapping around Becky's waist and her chin resting on her shoulder as she followed everyone’s line of sight. “Oh, Prim's here. I’m glad she could make it. Do you think Nita would be embarrassed if we introduced ourselves?”

“No,” Becky said.

“Yes!” Araya, Taran, Marima, and Charlotte all said in unison, effectively trumping Becky's prior statement.

“Woah, I’m going to need an explanation,” Freen said as a small laugh slipped past her lips.

“Your kid has a huge crush on Prim,” Marima explained, making Freen cock her head to the side in thought.

“Huh,” Freen said as she mulled the thought over.

“Please tell them they’re being ridiculous. Nita told us herself that Prim is just a friend,” Becky  said, stating this fact for the umpteenth time in the one conversation.

“Ka, of course they’re friends,” Freen said before adding, “for now.”

While Becky groaned, her Ma and sisters broke out into a chorus of the cheers after receiving further support from Freen.

“In defense of Becky, I do think that Nita isn’t looking for a relationship right now. Prim is her first real friend and I think she’ll want to roll with that before pursuing anything else,” Freen explained, earning nods of agreement.

“At least she has one parent that isn’t blind,” Charlotte teased as she poked Becky's cheek.

Becky sighed in surrender and nodded her head.

“I would be lying if I said they weren’t a cute couple. But she’s still a kid. She doesn’t need a girlfriend or a boyfriend right now.”

“Well, I think we ought to embarrass our kid while we still can, don’t you think?” Freen asked her wife, hoping that a good dose of Nita teasing would make the woman perk up a bit.

“Please,” Becky said, a smile coming to her face as she allowed her wife to take her hand and pull her towards the two teens across the yard.

-----

The party was the perfect way to celebrate the adoption of Nita and Emily.

Despite the gathering starting at 10am, everyone stuck around for several hours. Before anyone could really process it, it was 8pm, and the exhaustion of the day was finally settling into people’s bones.

“What’d you girls think?” Freen asked as she lovingly stroked back Nita's hair as the teen rested her head on her lap.

Becky was in a similar state with a sleeping Emily who was koala bear hugging her on the patio chair across from Freen and Nita.

“I love having parties here,” Nita confessed as she drew her fingers up and down the head of Bon's who was sleeping at Freen's feet. “But my favourite bit is always the end when we can just sit around and be together.”

“Mine too,” Becky said as she smiled at her daughter. “Our friends are great but they’re a rowdy bunch.”

“Rowdy’s fun, though. Prim really liked how chaotic it got,” Nita said as a fond grin came to her face.

“She’s welcome to these parties. It isn’t just limited to Becky's and my friends.”

“I appreciate that,” Nita said as she turned her attention towards Becky. “Mommy, when did you know that you loved mama?”

Becky smirked as she looked at Freen and the two shared a knowing smile.

“It was our second date. Your mama did something stupidly crazy and dragged me into it, and I… I just knew,” Becky said fondly as she held her wife’s eyes for just a beat.

“What did you do?” Nita asked suspiciously as she turned onto her back and looked up at Freen.

“Nothing,” Freen attempted to lie, only to earn a look from her teen. “I may or may not have forced your mommy to jump off a cliff with me,” Freen finally caved.

“You jumped off a cliff?!” Nita asked excitedly as she sat up quickly and looked between her mothers.

“A small cliff,” Freen argued.

“Ehh, it was relatively large,” Becky conquered, earning a playful glare from her wife.

“No fair! I’ve always wanted to do that,” Nita practically whined, sounding more like a petulant teenager than ever before.

“We can go tomorrow,” Becky said, once more earning a glare from Freen.

“No way. Bebe, it’s the middle of February. And besides, Nita has a hockey game tomorrow.”

“Her game’s at noon. C’mon, babe. Look how excited she looks,” Becky said as she motioned at the still very giddy teen.

“Please, mama! I really want to try jumping. I promise to only do it once and I’ll bring of change of clothes so I won’t get cold afterwards,” Nita said in a rush of words.

“Okay, okay,” Freen relented in an effort to calm the excited girl. “On one condition. You have to win your game tomorrow.”

“Deal. Done deal. Prim and I have been working on a play with Aunty Char all week. We’re going to crush them tomorrow.”

“I guess we’re going cliff jumping,” Becky said, making Nita whoop and jump to her feet.

“I’m so freaking excited!” Nita cheered as she jogged in place.

“Alrighty, crazy feet, another unsaid condition is that you have to help your grandparents with some of the clean-up,” Freen said as she stood up as well and moved to start helping with clearing the yard.

Nita nodded her agreement and hurried past her mama and towards Araya who was in the midst of putting leftovers into Tupperware.

“Grandma! Moms are taking me cliff jumping tomorrow!” Nita enthused as she approached the woman.

Araya sighed and set down her serving spoon before looking at her husband. “Honey, your daughter raised another adrenaline junkie.”

“That's my girl!” Sunny called out as he gave his granddaughter a thumbs up. “Just remember to not think about the drop and just full send it,” Sunny said to Nita who nodded at his advice.

“I’m so excited,” Nita repeated for the millionth time.

“So you’ve said,” Freen said with an amused grin. “I just hope you don’t bruise your ass like I did.”

-----

“Alright girls, I want to see power, I want to see speed, but most importantly I want to see teamwork. I know our dynamic has shifted a lot these last few months, but I need you guys to play a solid match and show me that you are working as a whole and not as individuals,” Charlotte said to her team as she stood huddled up in the middle of their changing room before they had to head into the rink. “Remember our plays. Look at each other. Communicate. Got it?”

“Got it,” the girls agreed in unison.

“Let’s kick some ass girls. Diversity on three,” Charlotte encouraged as she stuck her hand into the center.

Gloved fists met her in the middle and they all moved as one.

“One, two, three…”

“Diversity!” the team said all together before breaking apart and scattering to gather their helmets and sticks.

“Nita, I’ve got this for you,” Charlotte said as she approached the teen who turned to the benches and handed over the item that was drapped over her shoulder.

Nita pulled her gloves off and grabbed the navy blue material. Shaking it out, Nita smiled as she took in the long new name above her same number.

Armstrong-Chankimha – 28.

“I told you you’d get to keep your number,” Charlotte said as she watched the teen admire the jersey.

“Thank you, Aunty Char,” Nita breathed out at the stared at the name stretched out over the back of the jersey.

Despite the official papers that were signed yesterday declaring Nita as a Armstrong-Chankimha, she couldn’t help but feel a certain sense of permanence with the new name as she looked at her jersey.

This was her now.

Armstrong-Chankimha.

She was going to step out on the ice today as a new person. At least it felt that way. And Nita was quick to decide that with the new name came the new promise to do better and to work harder than ever before.

She would do the name proud, for her coach and her moms.

“Alright, my girls, let’s get a move on,” Charlotte said as she clapped her hands together.

Nita was finally snapped from her trance when Prim's hand came up to clap her shoulder.

“It looks good on there, Chankimha,” Prim said as she looked over the jersey as well. “So you took 28. You know, that was my number at my old club. You sorta stole it from me,” Prim said teasingly.

“Well, you stole my seat,” Nita jested back as she nodded towards the opposite bench that had Prim's stuff occupying Nita's old place.

“I guess we’re even then,” Prim determined with a nod of finality. “Ready to kill it out there?” Prim asked as she nodded to the door.

“Definitely,” Nita agreed as she quickly changed her jersey, re-set her gloves and grabbed her stick and helmet.

Walking into the rink, Nita was quickly met with a wave of tension.

As she approached the players box, Nita could see Charlotte speaking frantically to the other coach who was shaking his head in the negative.

“What’s going on?” Nita asked to Prim who could only shrug in response.

Getting a bit closer, Nita finally picked up the tail-end of one of Charlotte's comments.

“You’ve got to bench her then. I agreed to the suspension, but she is not playing against my girls today. Not after the stunt she pulled a few months ago.”

“That was a different team,” the other coach argued. “She hasn’t pulled anything like that at any of the games we’ve had this year.”

Getting the gist of the conversation, Nita looked across the ice and caught sight of the girl who hospitalized her less than six months ago.

Number 4, now number 12, was sitting on the bench with a new team and was bouncing her leg anxiously.

For a brief moment, Nita felt a wave of panic and then fear flood through her. She didn’t want to find out if that girl still had it out for her.

But then Nita remembered the promise she made to herself just a few minutes ago. She’d be stepping onto the ice and doing the name on her back proud.

Armstrong-Chankimha wouldn’t run away from what scared them, and they certainly wouldn’t allow others to make things easy for them either.

With determination set in her bones, Nita approached her coach at interrupted the escalating argument.

“She’s here, the girl that I fought with last time.”

“I’m handling it,” Charlotte said, her eyes briefly meeting Nita's before she turned back to the man in front of her.

“I want her to play,” Nita said, interrupting once more.

“Honey, I’m not letting you sit out on your first game back. That wouldn’t be fair.”

“And benching someone who isn’t suspended wouldn’t be fair either,” Nita quickly said, trying to get her point across. “I want to play, and I want her to play. I know how she can be, I’m better prepared this time. If it really gets bad I’ll swap out, okay?”

Charlotte, still not entirely pleased with the plan, looked between her player, the other coach, and the other girl across the ice.

“Okay ka,” Charlotte eventually relented. “Okay. But I’m warning you, Bob, if that girl so much as checks any of my girls I want her off,” Charlotte said in the most dangerous tone she could to the man who nodded his agreement.

“Sure. Can we just get this game going, please?” Bob asked, making Charlotte raise her hands and nod.

“By all means,” Charlotte said, the snark clearly remaining in her tone.

Bob walked back across the ice while Charlotte and Nita remained at the baseboard.

“You just have to tell me if you don’t feel safe, okay?” Charlotte asked Nita who nodded and set her helmet onto her head.

“I’ll be okay,” Nita promised before she set her mouth guard into place and waited for Charlotte to nod the go-ahead and allow them onto the ice to warm up.

Charlotte hesitated, but then she finally nodded, and for the first time ever Nita got to step onto the ice with her new name proudly presented on her back.

-----

“That girl looks familiar,” Becky commented as the ref blew his whistle and called for the game to start.

“Which one?” Freen asked as she scanned the teams to see who her wife was talking about.

“Number 12 from the other side. She’s got a build to her. What was the name of the girl that checked Nita into the boards last year?”

“Uhh,” Freen said as she mulled over the thought. “Busha? Bulldog? Something with ‘B’.”

“It was Bishop,” Engfa spoke up as she cocked an eyebrow at her friends. “Bulldog, though? Really?”

“It starts with ‘B’, doesn’t it?” Freen asked rhetorically, making Engfa roll her eyes.

“Fuck, is that really her?” Becky asked as she finally saw Number 12’s last name.

Bishop. It was a match.

“Wait Nita is playing against that girl again? What’s your sister thinking?”

“She was arguing about something earlier. I guess we now know what it was about,” Becky said, hoping to excuse her sister for this coincidence.

“That girl better watch herself,” Freen practically seethed as she watched Bishop to make sure she kept her distance from her kid.

What was supposed to be an exciting first-game back for Freen and Becky, soon became an anxiety-ridden one as they both found themselves cringing every time Number 12 got too closer to Nita for comfort.

Despite their un-relenting panic, Nita seemed to also be alert of who she was playing against and made herself as un-touchable as possible.

One period ticked by.

Then another.

Until it was the final third and the score was still stuck at 0-0.

Nita, who’d spent all of second on the bench, was being sent back out with Prim, Minnie, Tria, and another girl by the name of Peena.

It was Charlotte's powerhouse group. The set that she’d boasted to everyone that could take things home with an ease she hadn’t seen on her team before.

As excited as Freen and Becky were to watch Charlotte's new arrangement, they still found themselves on the edge of their seats as Number 12 was also sent back out to play.

“That coach is doing this deliberately. He knows that Bishop kid makes Char and Nita nervous,” Becky said as she watched the ref drop the puck in for the face off.

“She’ll be fine,” Freen said, mainly to comfort herself as she begged the last 20 minutes to play through quickly so they could stop panicking.

For what is was worth, Nita continued to carry her own and protect herself from many of Bishop's advancements.

The time, much to Freen's relief, really did start ticking by quickly. A bit too quickly for the team’s liking as 20 minutes became 10, and then 5, and then 2.

They were still 0-0 and only had 45 seconds remaining. Without a goal they’d have to go into overtime, and Charlotte's highly anticipated power-team would be for nothing.

The crowd held their breath as the puck was dropped and the players had at it once more.

-----

“Cover me,” Nita said to Prim in passing as they reset to face off for the last 45 seconds.

“What’re you going to do?” Prim asked, only to find that the question landed on deft ears as Nita was facing off with number 12.

“Shit,” Prim groaned as she too set herself in her starting position.

Nita stared down Number 12 and held her stick at the ready.

The puck dropped.

Their sticks met.

And as naturally as a fish swam, Nita flicked the puck between her legs and gave her team possession of it.

Prim, much to her relief, had received the puck and, after a shared glance, she snapped it back to Nita who maneuvered it towards the net.

Moving quickly, Nita set herself up to take a shot. She knew Number 12 would attempt a dirty play to prevent her from making the goal and to send them into over-time. It was her tactic.

Nita knew that now. Which is why she told Prim to cover her.

As Nita pulled back her stick and snapped it forward she saw Number 12 rushing to advance her. Right before the brute force could hit her, Prim slid between her and number 12 and forced the other girl to come to a quick stop.

Without the impact, Nita's stick met the puck.

It flew perfectly towards the top right corner of the net.

The horn blew.

The team cheered.

Nita did. She got them the winning goal.

“You fucking did it!” Prim cheered as she tackled her friend with a hug.

It didn’t take long for the rest of the team to skate out and join in on the pile up as well.

Nita, laughing joyfully at both her perfect shot and the cheering of her team, hugged Prim back just as tightly before everyone got their bearings and got to their feet once more.

As per usual, the team lined up for the post-game handshakes. Nita found herself taking up the rear of her team as they passed the opposite team and allowed their gloves to come into contact with one another.

Just as the other team’s rear came in contact with Nita, she found herself being pulled to a stop by an uncovered hand that grasped her glove.

“Hey,” the girl said, making Nita look up and properly recognize that it was number 12. “You played really well today. That was a fair shot.”

Nita, surprised to receive a compliment from the girl, cracked a smile and nodded her agreement.

“You played a great game too. Your team is lucky to have you.”

Number 12, though not offering a smile like Nita did, gave a curt nod and released Nita's glove before skating off to her team.

“Was she giving you shit?” Prim asked as she came to her friend’s side and looped their arms together.

“No. She was… complimenting me?”

“Weird,” Prim said.

“Doesn’t change the fact that she was 100% going to knock me to my ass a few minutes ago. Thanks for covering me,” Nita said as she skated with Prim towards the player's box.

“I’ve got your back, Nita. Isn’t that what friend’s are for?” Prim asked, making Nita laugh softly.

“Have I mentioned yet how lucky I am to have you as a friend?” Nita asked, making the other girl jeer as she shook her arm.

“I freaking told you! I knew you’d be my friend in no time.”

Nita smiled fondly and allowed Prim to gloat for a while. Besides, anyone willing to step between her and another angry hockey player deserved to brag about whatever they wanted.

---(cue, to build a home - radio version)---

“A promise is a promise,” Freen said as she pulled the car up to the secluded cliff edge and put it into park. “You won your game, which means we get to jump.”

“Even me?” Emily asked excitedly as she looked out to the ocean from her window.

“With safety measures,” Becky said.

She had talked to her dad who had promised that, despite its height, the jump was safe enough for a seven-year-old to do as well.

“What if I change my mind?” Nita suddenly asked as she also stared out towards the horizon.

The water, from what she could tell, was very far down. And Nita may or may not have a fear of heights. She was never really faced with a proper cliff until now to know the answer.

“You’re allowed to. But I’ve got to say, it’s one of the best feelings in the world,” Freen promised as she unclipped her seatbelt and turned to look at the teen.

“We can hold hands, right?” Nita asked, looking between her moms who shared a small laugh.

“Of course we can. And no one is allowed to let go, okay?” Becky said, making everyone in the car solemnly swear to follow that one rule. “Let’s do it then.”

Together, the family of four emerged from the car and quickly went about removing their clothes to reveal swimsuits.

Emily, who was much smaller and likely to get colder than the others, was helped into a full bodysuit that had belonged to Marima as a kid.

“Remember to drop like a pencil. Don’t curl up,” Freen instructed as she crouched in front of Emily and fitted her with a proper life-jacket as well.

“No cannonballs,” Emily promised as she allowed her mama to tug at the sides and top of her vest just to make sure it wouldn’t pop off of her on impact.

“Are we all ready then?” Becky asked as she made sure their towels were right at the trunk opening so they could bundle up as soon as they climbed back to the top.

“That is fucking high!” Nita squeaked as she’d already stepped up to the edge and glanced down at the calm water below.

“Language, baby,” Freen said.

It was becoming a losing battle. And, as Emily always reminded them, it wasn’t like she hadn’t heard the words before.

“It looks high, but it really isn’t something you can’t handle,” Becky promised as she joined her kid at the edge and looked down as well.

“People do this for fun?” Nita asked as she looked at her mama and mommy indignantly. “You two did this for fun?”

“Not so much for fun as it was for the experience,” Freen excused as she held Emily's hand and went to the edge as well.

“I wasn’t lying when I said it, Nita. That jump, as scary as it may seem right now, will make you feel everything at once and that is the coolest feeling in the whole world,” Becky said, reminding Nita of their conversation the previous night.

Nita, who’d felt many things in her life, had never had the opportunity to feel it all at once. Her mama was right. If she was going to jump, it wasn’t going to be for fun.

It was going to be for the experience. It was going to be a chance for her to feel something she’d never felt before.

And hell, if Emily was staring at the water without an inkling of fear in her expression, then why couldn’t Nita?

Fear was something she’d gotten all too familiar with. It held her back from so many things in the past. From speaking up about her abuse, from accepting the love of others who wanted to help, from being vulnerable and trying to put her walls down. Fear dictated all of that.

But Nita didn’t want to let it dictate this. She wouldn’t let it dictate this.

“Okay ka,” Nita said as she grasped Becky's hand and then Emily's, linking the four of them together. “Together, right?”

“Together,” Freen affirmed.

“Together,” Becky said as well, giving the teen an encouraging smile.

“Okay,” Nita whispered.

Instead of looking down, Nita forced herself to look ahead. She could do this. She’d conquered and fought so much to get here. Taking one more step forward wouldn’t be that hard.

“On three,” Nita said, making her moms and sister nod.

One.

Two.

Three.

The family of four stepped off the cliff.

For the brief seconds that they were suspended in the air, Nita shut her eyes and let herself feel.

Her mom was right, every emotion that one could physically feel was coursing through her. With each pump of her heart, she felt something new.

From fear, to panic, to pain, to exhilaration, to joy, to love.

She felt everything.

And then… nothing.

And it happened all over again as they hit the water and plunged into the cold, gentle waves. Hands still clasped together, the family kicked to the surface.

Nita broke through the water with a triumphant cry, followed by joyous laughter that her sister was joining in on soon after.

“Holy shit. We jumped!” Nita said as she wiped her already pinkening cheeks and looked to her moms excitedly.

“How did that feel?” Becky asked as she allowed Emily to grab onto her while they continued to swim in the waves.

“Amazing,” Nita said as tears of joy started to crawl down her cheeks.

“Baby,” Freen said gently as she wiped at the quickly falling tears.

“I’m fine. Really. I just… you were right, mommy. I felt everything,” Nita confessed, looking to Becky who smiled knowingly.

“And right before you hit the water, what did you feel?” Becky asked, earning a crack of a smile from the teen.

“Love.”

“Was this everything you hoped for?” Freen asked.

Nita mulled over the question. Something about the question felt very existential.

It was like Freen was asking about Nita's whole life. Like she was asking if everything she’d been through to get here was worth it.

The fear. The panic. The pain. The joy. The love.

Was it all worth it?

“Yes,” Nita said.

Because all those things led her to this.

To her family.

To the people she could call her own.

Forever.

The End.

A/N:

Prim Chanikarn

That's it, guys. Sorry if there's a mistake, it's a long chapter 👉🏻👈🏻 Thank you for reading! Until next time ☺️❤️