"as tragic as it seems
as hurtful as it feels
if they gave up on your
in your worst moment
they never really loved you"
- unknown

-----

After five days in the woods, Becky, Freen, and the girls returned home with sun-kissed cheeks and mosquito bites all over.

Despite the rocky last day, they could all agree it was a successful, and satisfying getaway.

Presently, however, their peaceful getaway was rudely brought back to reality by a sick Nita.

Freen wasn’t sure if it was something the teen ate, or a flu she managed to catch, but Nita was a sick mess over their last night and a miserable passenger on the ride back home.

To make things worse, the teen seemed entirely opposed to receiving any help, and opted to hide in the bathroom the second Becky pulled up to the front of the house.

“I have to head to my place to put some stuff away, but I can pick up some flu medicine on my way back,” Becky said as she helped Freen organize the dirty clothes into appropriate laundry piles.

“That’s sweet of you. If I give you some cash maybe you can grab some more things for her like soup and ginger ale?” Freen asked, to which Becky shook her head in the negative.

“I can buy whatever you need, but I won’t take your money.”

“ Becky-.”

“Nope. It’s bad enough that you have to put up with Nita's anger again. The least I can do is buy some groceries to help lessen her blow.”

Freen smiled and pulled Becky into an embrace, kissing her neck as they held onto each other closely.

“Have I said that I loved you today?” Freen sighed, making Becky laugh.

“Once or twice,” the brunette promised as she gently brushed her nails under Freen's shirt.

“Before you head out, what do you say to a shower?” Freen asked, pulling back from the embrace and nodding her head towards the stairs.

“Tempting. But what about Emily?”

“When that girl naps, she naps hard. It’ll take a tornado tearing the roof off of this house to wake her up.”

“And Nita?” Becky followed up, making Freen sigh.

“Well, as she so kindly put it, she can ‘puke her guts out without my pathetic excuse for help.’”

“I take it this shower would help pick you up a bit?” Becky asked, smirking at Freen who nodded.

“All I want it a real, hot shower, with actual shampoo, conditioner, and soap. And you, of course.”

“Okay ka,” Becky agreed, kissing Freen once more before releasing her hips and taking her hand.

“Let’s get cleaned up then.”

-----

Upstairs, Nita heaved into the toilet twice before attempting to take a calming breath.

Her whole body was practically shaking at this rate, and a small part of her felt guilty for pushing Freen away so rudely, but she had her fair reasons for it.

As she still maintained a semi-controlled breathing pattern, Nita couldn’t help but remember the first time she’d gotten sick in a foster home.

Sharon and Tawat were one of the better families for all intents and purposes.

They fed, clothed, and sheltered the girls, which was already far better than some of the other families managed to supply.

An added bonus: the doted on Emily like she was their real child. Who could resist a wide-eyed three-year-old after all?

Nita, 12-years-old and still a bit naïve about how to analyze and understand different foster parents, was unsure of herself and hesitant, which made her less likable to the adults.

They agreed to take in both girls, but it was clear which one they favoured more (not that it bothered Nita, so long as Emily was safe).

They’d been in and out of foster care for two years now, their mother having issues with things that still remained unclear to Nita.

All she knew was that this home wasn’t permanent and that her mom would come back for them soon.

Four months in, Nita woke up with a splitting headache and aggressive cramping in her stomach. She felt like she was dying, and did the only thing that felt natural; she cried and sought out the comfort of her foster parents.

Sharon awoke first, clearly not pleased with the sniffling of Nita as she sat up and glared at the child.

“What is the matter with you?” Sharon hissed, getting out of bed and swinging a robe over her shoulders.

She approached Nita, who was still hiccupping as she held her stomach, and grabbed her upper arm tightly.

This was the first time Sharon had been aggressive with Nita, but it wasn’t the first time a foster parent had been cruel to her, which made Nita more prepared for what was to come.

“It’s 7 in the morning. What if you woke up Emily, huh?” Sharon asked as she practically dragged Nita towards the kitchen. “What are you even crying about?”

“I don’t feel good,” Nita croaked out, revealing her scratchy throat.

“ Heh. Everyone gets sick. Suck it up and get ready for school,” Sharon snapped, releasing Nita's arm once they were near the fridge.

The older woman approached the fridge and went about making breakfast.

“I don’t feel like going,” Nita cried, making Sharon freeze.

The woman took in a long breath and clenched her fingers before releasing them with her exhale.

“ Tawat and I have jobs if you haven’t noticed,” Sharon said as she began to approach Nita.

“Who do you think is going to take care of you, huh? The world doesn’t revolve around you, Nita!” Sharon was now in the pre-teen’s face, screaming her last sentence at her so loudly it echoed off the walls.

The mixture of fear and nausea rolling around in Nita's stomach made it nearly impossible for the young girl to control her next action; still clenching her stomach, Nita leant forward and vomited in front of Sharon’s slippers.

Sharon cried out angrily and stepped back to avoid the splash. Just as she reached out to whack the girl’s head, Emily's crying rang through the house, making her freeze.

Nita composed herself slightly and stared at her mess in shame while Sharon pushed past her to get to the toddler.

Tawat entered the kitchen with Emily who was bright red and crying in his arms.

“She’s sick,” Tawat explained to Sharon who cradled Emily's face and cooed at the three-year-old’s distress.

“You poor thing. Mommy’s going to stay home today and get you feeling all better. Teerak, can you please take her to the bathroom so I can bathe her? I just have to deal with that one,” Sharon said, pointing behind herself to Nita who was shaking from both her nausea and her fear.

Tawat nodded and left the kitchen again, allowing for Sharon to return to Nita.

Resuming her actions, Sharon rained her hand down on Nita's head a few times before composing herself.

Nita cried as she held her head and did her best to not look at Sharon.

“Clean this disgusting mess up and go to school. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Sharon clomped away after that, leaving Nita to cry and stare of her mess of vomit on the floor.

That day, after cleaning up the kitchen and leaving the house to walk to school, Nita decided to change routes halfway and head in the direction of P'Beer's office.

It was raining out, and Nita only became sicker as she made the hour-long walk, but she eventually arrived at the social services building.

She was dripping from head to toe and was as white as a sheet.

P'Beer spotted the distressed girl when she entered the lobby. Nita was pleading with the receptionist to let her see P'Beer, when the older woman approached and got her attention.

“ Pranita, what’s going on?” P'Beer asked, noticing the welts on Nita's cheeks along with her pallor.

“I need a new placement,” Nita practically begged.

After several hours of begging, crying, and vomiting, Nita was granted a new foster home for her and Emily, making it their eighth one in two years.

Little did Nita know, it was only going to get worse from there.

Nita felt her stomach clench and positioned herself over the toilet bowl in anticipation for what was to follow.

Just as she threw up what little content remained in her stomach, Nita couldn’t help the strangled sob she let out.

“M-ommy. Take m-e-e ho-me,” Nita cried, as if begging hard enough would make her mother magically return.

Miracles didn’t happen in Nita's life however, and her plea was left unanswered, like many of them were.

-----

After their shower, Becky left to her own place for an hour before returning with bags full of groceries and her three sisters following.

Freen, who had just attempted to, and unsuccessfully, offer her help to Nita, was happy to see the other women.

Freen hugged each of them and began offering snacks and drinks, taking some solace in getting to care for someone after being rejected by her foster daughter.

“Sorry for barging in like this,” Marima said as she took a seat at the kitchen island and accepted the glass of water Freen gave her.

“No way. I’m happy to see you guys. It’s nice to have the distraction,” Freen said, handing out the other drinks before retrieving bags of chips from a cupboard.

“ Becky told us about Nita,” Charlotte said, grabbing Freen's hand in passing. “Just remember that sometimes you have to push even when she doesn’t accept it.”

“Thanks, Char,” Freen smiled, squeezing the younger woman’s hand back before moving to help Becky sort some of the groceries.

“What’s all this?” Freen asked, speaking of the extra produce that weren’t on her list of supplies for Nita.

“I’m making dinner for everyone tonight. You didn’t think I was going to leave you with a sick teen and your regular household jobs, did you?” Becky smirked, making Freen sigh out a breath of relief.

“How the actual fuck did I get so lucky,” Freen asked rhetorically before kissing Becky.

After breaking apart, the two returned to their organization while small talk stirred between everyone in the kitchen.

“Where’s Emily?” Marima asked after a couple of minutes, finally seeming to notice the absence of the child.

“Napping,” Freen said with a shrug.

“Still?” Becky asked, seemingly in shock. “That’s like four hours now.”

“Well, she’s going to be fun to put to bed tonight,” Taran commented, making Becky laugh and Freen roll her eyes playfully.

“I have tried just about everything to get her up, but she refuses. Last night was sort of a mess and I think she lost a bit of sleep as well.”

“Send Mari up,” Taran suggested, to which Charlotte nodded.

“Yeah. Emily loves her. She’ll definitely get up if it means seeing her Aunty Mari,” Charlotte said, teasing Freen about the way Emily calls Marima her’s.

“I’m still trying to teach her that people aren’t things you can possess.”

“I don’t mind,” Marima waved off. “But if you’d like, I can see if I can get her up.”

“That would be amazing. She’s in her room,” Freen said, making Marima nod as she headed for the stairs.

“I love it when you bring your sisters over. They always solve my problems,” Freen said to Becky who was in the midst of washing some vegetables she was going to use for dinner.

“I’m glad that you actually like them,” Becky said, laughing to herself at the jab she made towards her sisters.

“Hey,” Charlotte protested, followed by-

“That’s not very nice, Becbec,” Taran argued, furrowing her eyebrows at Becky who started laughing harder.

“We’re very likable people.”

“Yeah! Everyone loves us,” Charlotte said, as if to further Taran's point.

“I feel like Mari is the only one that people actually like at first introduction,” Becky said, only to make her sisters jeer more in disagreement.

Before things could escalate, Marima came down the stairs with Emily holding her hand.

The little one was wrapped in her blanket and rubbing her sleepy eyes, but she was awake nonetheless.

“Miracle worker!” Freen praised.

“See, this is why people like her the best,” Becky followed up, only to be met by Charlotte's glare and Taran's middle finger.

“I don’t know what I’m walking in on,” Marima said, before looking to Freen. “I think you should know that Nita was vomiting pretty violently when I walked by the door.”

“Shit,” Freen sighed before scrambling to find the flu medicine and a bottle of water. “I’m going to check on her.”

The four sisters all gave her their mumbled affirmations as she hurried up the stairs and approached the bathroom door.

Taking a moment, Freen pressed her ear against the door and heard the slightly labored breathing of Nita on the other end.

Freen lightly rapped her knuckles on the door three times before speaking in a kind tone.

“ Baby, I have some medicine for you if you’d like. It’ll help with the nausea and hopefully stop the vomiting.”

“Go away, Freen,” Nita said from the other end, her muffled voice evidently wet with tears.

“I just want to help-,”

“Stop it! I don’t need you to help me. I don’t want you here. Just leave me alone,” Nita cried, the anger in her tone masked slightly by her desperation.

Freen decided to give the girl the space she wanted and retreated back downstairs where the other women were waiting for her hopefully.

With a distraught shake of her head, everyone returned to their previous tasks or conversations while Becky approached her girlfriend and pulled her into a comforting embrace.

The shorter brunette gently reminded Freen, “like Char said, just keep pushing and she’ll eventually accept your help.”

-----

Before dinner, Engfa and Lisa joined the group, making their girlfriends happy and Freen relieved to have a few more hands to keep Emily busy and out of the way of Nita.

The teen continued to sit in the bathroom, and there was no sign of when she intended to emerge, which made Freen more antsy than usual.

For dinner, Becky prepared two soups, a chicken noodle and a mushroom soup, as well as some grilled cheese and light salad to go on the side.

Emily got to experience her first grilled cheese dipped in mushroom soup, a weird milestone that had everyone waiting excitedly for her response.

One thumbs up later, and a couple of happy cheers, everyone was digging into their bowls of soup and grilled cheese as well.

“Should I bring her some food up?” Freen asked halfway through the meal, looking from the kitchen table to the stairs worriedly.

“Considering how often that toilet is flushing, I doubt she’ll be wanting anything in her stomach for a while,” Engfa commented, making Charlotte scrunch her nose at her.

“Really ka? Toilet talk at the dinner table?” Charlotte asked, making her girlfriend laugh.

“I’m just saying,” Engfa defended herself.

“I’m starting to wonder if I should take her to the hospital. She’s been hiding in there for like six hours now,” Freen sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose as she contemplated what to do.

“I think if the vomiting continues past 24 hours you should definitely take her to urgent care, but I doubt she needs to go anywhere right away,” Becky said, giving her girlfriend’s leg a squeeze under the table.

“Keep in mind she’s been sick before this,” Taran said, gaining Freen's attention. “Being in foster care means becoming self-sufficient, and clearly she’s developed this hiding tactic from bad experiences of being sick in foster homes.”

“ Nity always said it was bad to tell foster moms and dads about not feeling good,” Emily spoke up.

“You know that’s different here, right? You can tell me when something doesn’t feel good,” Freen reminded, despite already dealing with Emily when she was sick a few months back.

“I know. But Nity is stubborn.”

“Damn right she is,” Charlotte said, making Freen laugh lightly.

“You can check on her after dinner,” Becky suggested to Freen, who nodded her agreement and returned to her food.

Just as everyone started eating again, the toilet could be heard flushing again, making Charlotte groan slightly.

“See, just another flush that proves that Nita will not want any food later,” Engfa said, making the other women sigh in dismay.

“Hey, I’m the one that has to put up with this,” Charlotte reminded, making Engfa smile cheekily.

“ Ka, but you love me.”

-----

Less than an hour later, the group had cleaned up and moved themselves over to the living room where they started to watch Frozen II with Emily.

Everyone seemed captured by the movie from the start and they had to admit that it was extremely adorable to hear Emily sing along to every song from her spot on Marima's lap.

For a while, Freen allowed herself to lay against Becky's chest and watch the movie, trying her best to ease some of her worry over Nita.

Halfway through the movie, however, it all seemed to become too much to think about, and Freen was back to nearly crawling out of her skin once more.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Becky whispered the promise as she rubbed Freen's back in hopes of easing her constant movement.

“Why can’t she just need me?” Freen asked hopelessly, relieved to see that her talking was hard for the others to hear from their spot on a recliner.

“It’s hard. Every part of her is telling her that you are just like the other foster parents. It’s your job to prove her wrong,” Becky said, pressing a loving kiss to the crown of Freen's head.

“How do I do it? What am I missing here?” Freen continued, tears of desperation leaking from her eyes and onto the front of Becky's shirt.

“Nothing, baby. You just need to continue being patient. One day she will look at you and see you and not all of the other faces of those who failed her before.”

“I just want her to know I care,” Freen said as she took a calming breath.

The distant sound of the bathroom door creaking open signaled to her and Becky that Nita was finally coming out of her hiding place.

“Go show her then,” Becky urged, allowing Freen to get up and go after her kid.

-----

After puking as much as humanly possible, and sleeping for a while on the bathroom floor, Nita emerged from the bathroom looking even paler and shakier than when she went in.

Just as she began to walk to her room, footsteps could be heard walking up the stairs, and soon enough a set of hands were gently holding to her elbows to keep her from swaying.

“I know you don’t want my help,” Freen said softly, in hopes of keeping the girl calm. “But I want to make sure you’re okay.”

Nita was too weak to fight back and simply nodded. She continued to her room with the support of Freen and eventually found her way into her bed and under her covers.

The blanket from the foot of her bed was draped on top of her other sheets, and Freen took her time to gently tuck everything around Nita who began to shiver.

“ Freen.,” Nita said through her chattering teeth, doing her best to fight the chills that ran through her body.

“Yeah, baby,” Freen said softly as she brushed a hand over the blankets.

“C-can you brush m-my hair?” Nita asked sleepily, making Freen furrow her eyebrows in confusion before realization set in.

With a small smile, Freen reached out and gently combed her fingers over the top of Nita's hair, making the teen sigh out contentedly.

“Is this alright?” Freen asked as she briefly smoothed her fingers over Nita's warm cheek before returning to her hair.

“Mm-hm,” the teen agreed, allowing her eyes to shut slowly. “Stay.”

“I will, baby,” Freen promised. “Just go to sleep now, alright?”

Nita did as suggested and allowed herself to get lulled to sleep.

She couldn’t help but think that for the briefest moment in her life, someone actually cared.

To be continued...