"we were together. i forget the rest" - walt whitman
-----
On Friday, Becky decided to surprise Freen at the rink with some hot chocolate and doughnuts.
Despite their date plans falling through due to Nita having her first practice, Becky decided that she could still spend time with the taller brunette who was no doubt going to sit with the other parents to watch.
With her tray of cocoas and box of doughnuts at hand, Becky walked into the chilled rink and waved to her sister who was standing by the baseboards and getting the girls onto the ice.
Turning her attention to the stands, Becky found Freen and Emily sitting at the top.
Emily was deeply immersed in her book while Freen was stuck staring at the ice with her knee bouncing in anticipation.
The English teacher maneuvered her way to the top of the stands, playfully nudging Freen's foot with her own to get the woman to snap out of her stupor.
“Sorry- Becky!,” the taller brunette said, her gaze going from shock to a big smile. “What’re you doing here?”
“Cocoa date part 2?” Becky asked, raising the tray of drinks and offering her signature smirk.
“I couldn’t say no to that,” Freen blushed, patting the spot next to her.
Becky sat and pulled a cocoa off of the tray. She leaned over Freen slightly to get Emily's attention.
“ Emily, psst, how does a cocoa sound to go along with your book?”
Emily looked up and laughed giddily at the drink being handed over to her.
“Thanks, Ms. Armstrong!” Emily said, taking the drink with both hands and blowing on it through the lid like Freen instructed her to.
“Of course. And why don’t you call me Becky when were not in school, ka?”
“ Becky,” Emily said, nodding her head in agreement. “Just like mama calls you.”
Becky smiled and nodded before sitting up straight again and looking to Freen.
“Back to mama?” Becky asked, handing the other brunette her drink.
“Still a back and forth. It’s always Freen in front of Nita, though,” Freen explained. “Thanks for the cocoa by the way.”
“My pleasure. I’ve got doughnuts too, but I’ll let you dictate if you know who gets one after her sugary drink.”
“We can space them out,” Freen said, shuffling a bit closer to Becky. Maybe to preserve heat, maybe to just be near her; Becky wasn’t quite sure which reason it was, but she wasn’t going to complain about the proximity. “I was going to call you later about moving our date to Sunday, actually. Y’know, since I had to cancel on you today.”
“That sounds great,” Becky agreed. “I hope you’ll still let me plan it and take you out, though.”
“If you insist,” Freen said, giving Becky a little nudge with her shoulder.
“Perfect. I’ll pick you up at your house at 6 then. Hey, look at Pranita go,” Becky said, pointing to the ice where Nita was speeding through the skating drills.
“ P'Nita said she skated all the time with mommy,” Emily spoke up, swinging her legs back and forth.
“She’s amazing,” Freen said, smiling at the sight of the teen getting into her element.
Becky couldn’t help but watch Freen who was engrossed with Nita. The foster mom looked so proud, and Becky was excited to get a chance to see this interaction.
-----
When the practice wrapped up, Freen, Becky, and Emily moved to wait outside of the locker rooms.
Emily and another kid were sharing doughnuts off to the side while Becky and Freen chatted.
“Hey,” Charlotte called out, waving to her sister.
Freen had her back to the coach, but the greeting made her turn around to see her foster daughter’s coach up-close for the first time.
“Wait, I know you,” Charlotte said, stopping in her tracks.
Freen broke out into a smile and laughed when Charlotte's face clicked in her mind.
“You’re the girl that Engfa has been seeing recently.”
“Holy shit!” Charlotte said, pulling her phone out. “ Fa hasn’t shut up about you and Irin. I was wondering when I would actually meet you. I have to text her.”
“You can blame Engfa for the lack of introduction. She’s been worried that we would scare you off,” Freen explained, making the taller coach shake her head.
“What an idiot,” Charlotte snickered, sending off her text before sliding her phone into her pocket again. “She’s going to be disappointed when she reads that I met the both of you without her present.”
“You’ve met Irin?” Freen asked, furrowing her eyebrows and looking to Becky who could only shrug.
“She’s dating my brother.”
“Wow. This is some twisted relationship tree,” Becky said, starting to piece everything together in her mind.
“In hindsight, I should’ve connected it sooner. The names are too obvious,” Freen said, shaking her head in amusement. “Well ka, it’s really nice to finally meet you.”
“You too,” Charlotte said. “ Nita did great today, by the way. She takes instruction extremely well.”
“I think you’re the first person to ever say that,” Freen said, giving Becky a knowing look.
“At school, we like to call her self-directing,” Becky teased the mom, making her roll her eyes.
“Mama, can we have more doughnuts?” Emily asked, walking into the conversation.
“I think one was enough, baby. We don’t want to spoil his or your dinner.”
“Okay. Can I play longer?”
“Five more minutes,” Freen allowed, making the little girl turn and run back to her new friend.
“Are you expecting another hockey player in the family?” Charlotte asked as she watched Emily run around.
“ Emily is more of a bookworm than an athlete. But if it ever interests her, I don’t see why not,” Freen explained. “I can’t thank you both enough by the way. I’ve had Nita for almost seven months and I’ve never seen her so content while doing something before.”
“Of course,” the sisters said at the same time.
“Nity!” Emily's cheerful voice interrupted once again, all the women looking to the little girl who ran up to her sister.
Nita kindly stroked Emily's hair and listened as the six-year-old introduced her new friend.
“She reminds me of how Taran was with us,” Charlotte voiced, to which Becky hummed her agreement.
“She’s good with Emily,” Freen explained.
“You did a nice thing taking them in,” Charlotte mentioned. “Siblings don’t always get to stay together in the system, especially with an age gap like theirs.”
“Try explaining that to my Mae. She still asks me why I’ve taken them in every time we talk.”
“Change can be hard for some people to accept. Give her time,” Becky said as she kindly rubbed Freen's lower back.
This didn’t go unnoticed to Charlotte who smirked and raised her eyebrows at Becky.
When Nita made her way over, Becky withdrew her hand and shuffled just a bit away from Freen.
“Hey, Nita. You looked great out there,” Freen said, making Nita offer a very small smile.
“Thanks ka. What’re you doing here, Ms. Armstrong?” Nita asked, turning her attention to her English teacher.
“Your coach happens to be my sister,” Becky explained, pointing to Charlotte. “I come to watch her practices every so often.”
Freen smiled gratefully at Becky for keeping the real reason a secret.
“Well, I better get these two home for dinner,” Freen said, deciding it would be a good time to leave before Emily mentioned the cocoa and doughnuts that Becky supplied.
“I’ll see you on Monday for practice,” Charlotte said to Nita who nodded with a slight smile.
“And I’ll see you before that for school,” Becky added, making what little joy Nita displayed on her face disappear.
“Don’t look too enthusiastic,” Freen said to the teen as she approached the two sisters.
“I’m excited for school!” Emily said, making the adults laugh.
“Of course you are,” the foster mom agreed, running a hand over her head before gently turning her towards the door. “Bye guys,” Freen waved to the two women.
Becky gestured for Freen to call her later, earning a nod and wink from the other brunette.
When the family left the building, Charlotte gave Becky a slight jab with her elbow.
“Shit, Becca. You didn’t tell us she was that hot.”
“Please don’t be a pig like Taran. Freen is extremely beautiful, but her personality is even better.”
“Okay, but like, she’s hotttt.”
“I’m leaving now. Go take a cold shower or something,” Becky said, walking away from her little sister who laughed and pulled out her phone.
Becky groaned when a message popped up in the family group chat.
Charchar: Our Becbec is dating a total babe🔥
Richeese: I’m telling your girlfriend that you think Becky's girlfriend is hot.
Becbec: She’s not my girlfriend.
Mariiii: I give it a week until it’s official 🙌🏻
Tartar: I’ll put 1K on two weeks 😝
Richeese: 2K on 10 days 😎
Charchar: 1K it’ll be by the end of the weekend.
Mami: 5K from dad and me. We think it’ll happen in three weeks. Becca has always been a bit slow.
Becbec: Ma! Really? 😭
Tartar: Lolllll. Poor dad is probably so confused rn.
SunnyDad: Tar, I’ve been confused since the day you added me to this group chat. But I won’t pass up a good gamble.
Becbec: I’ve never felt so foreign to this family 😑
Mariiii: Well, you were adopted 😘
-----
On Sunday, Freen decided to tell the girls that she was going on a date, though she kept who it was with as a secret still as to avoid trouble with Nita.
Knowing that Nita had a lot of homework to do by the next day, and not wanting Emily to get in her way, Freen decided to call Engfa who gladly agreed to babysit so long as Freen made some chocolate chip cookies for her.
To her amusement, Engfa showed up at her doorstep an hour before Becky would arrive with the claim that she was going to help Freen get ready.
Currently, Engfa and Emily were sat on Freen's bed, the plate of cookies between them as they judged Freen's outfit selection; more like Engfa made a comment and Emily echoed it.
“Why don’t you wear that cute little dress?” Engfa suggested with a wiggle of her eyebrows.
“This isn’t a fancy date, Fa. She told me to dress in something casual.”
“A dress can be casual,” Engfa argued, making Freen laugh.
“Not one that barely passes your butt,” Freen said, which made Emily giggle.
“What’s so funny, huh?” Engfa asked, poking the six-year-old’s tummy and eliciting more giggles.
“Mama said butt,” Emily said, bursting into an even bigger fit.
“My goodness you’re going to be fun tonight, aren’t you? Got that tummy full of sugar and everything,” Engfa said, tickling the girl for good measure before she returned her attention to Freen who had dressed in some dark denim and a cream coloured corduroy jacket.
“Well, it’s not a tight little dress, but it’s cute.”
Freen took that as Engfa's approval and turned the lights off in her closet.
“She should be here soon. Thanks again for watching Emily for me, Fa,” Freen said, going to help her friend stand up from the bed.
Engfa accepted the hand gratefully.
“Of course. Anything for my little Freenky,” Engfa said, teasingly pinching Freen's cheek.
Freen batted off the hand and shifted past Engfa to grab the plate of cookies off of the bed.
“Wait, I want more,” Emily said, reaching for another cookie.
“No way, Bubs. You need to save room for a real dinner,” Freen said, holding the plate higher than the grabby child.
“Common you cutie,” Engfa said, grabbing Emily under the armpits and hoisting her onto her hip. “We can finish them after dinner,” the older woman whispered before placing a finger over her lips.
Emily giggled and copied Engfa's actions of placing a finger over her lips.
Freen rolled her eyes and moved to leave her room, deciding to act like she didn’t hear anything.
When Freen got downstairs, she found Nita sitting on the single in the living room with her sketchpad propped up on her knees. The girl was in a deep concentration until the presence of three people snapped her out of it.
“I still don’t know why I need a babysitter,” Nita grumbled as Freen set the plate of cookies down on the counter and opened the oven to check on the macaroni she made for Engfa and the girls.
“She’s not here to watch you, she’s here’s for Emily. I want you to concentrate on your homework tonight,” Freen said, explaining Engfa's presence for what felt like the millionth time.
“I’ve been capable of managing both for years.”
“ Nita, please, not tonight,” Freen pleaded. “I want to help you, and P'Fa wants to spend time with Emily. Just let us do this.”
Nita glanced up at Freen and blinked before looking back down at her sketch.
“Fine,” the teen gave in, making the tension in the room lighten up a bit.
“Thank you na ka,” Freen breathed out. “I should be home before 11. Eat dinner, listen to P'Fa, and everything should be fine.”
“Of course it’ll be,” Engfa said, waving off Freen's worry. “ P'Fa got this.”
“You’ll call me if-?”
“If anything blows up or catches fire,” Engfa interrupts, nodding her head in Nita's direction to show what Freen alluded to when telling her that earlier.
“You’re amazing, Fa. Thanks again ka,” Freen hugged her friend before crouching beside Emily and pressing kisses all over her face.
“ Freen!” Emily whined, giggling past the playful goodbye.
“I’m going now. Be good for P'Fa, girls,” Freen said, waving behind herself before she hurried out the door.
In one of the visitor parking stalls, Freen spotted Becky leant against a black truck.
Freen could barely contain her excitement as she hurried towards her date who smiled at her approach. That damn smile always got Freen blushing, but the woman couldn’t find herself minding all that much anymore.
-----
“So, how about that homework?” Engfa asked as she plopped down onto the couch and began to flip through channels on the TV.
“I’ll get to it,” Nita said, not bothering to look up at Engfa.
“I get it, homework sucks.”
“Cai..,” Nita agreed, her jaw clenching slightly in both discomfort and distaste for the new person in the house.
She’s met Engfa before, but this would be the first time that she was alone with the woman without Freen present.
It wasn’t that Nita trusted Freen to protect her – she didn’t trust anyone – but past foster parents who left her alone with their friends didn’t always turn out so great for her.
Absentmindedly, Nita flipped a page in her sketchpad and began a new outline, once more allowing her subconscious to dictate what image would ease her worry.
“You any good at sketching?” Engfa asked, attempting to strike up a conversation once more.
“Dunno,” Nita shrugged.
“Can I-,”
“No,” Nita coldly replied, knowing exactly what the woman was going to ask.
She never let anyone look at her sketches; Emily was only able to see some of them. They were private and for her eyes only.
“My bad. I get it though. I never let people watch me work. It’s weird,” Engfa said, doing her best to avoid any awkward spots with Nita.
She knew that when it happened to Irin, she got lobbed some pretty mean insults.
“I’m going upstairs,” Nita sighed, deciding that the unsettled feeling in her chest wasn’t going anywhere and that she preferred the privacy and safety of her room.
“Alright ka. Dinner should be done in 20 minutes.”
Nita didn’t acknowledge Engfa; she simply scurried up the stairs to the only place she knew she could hide.
-----
“You really had to outdo me, huh?” Freen asked Becky as they sat in the rear of Richie's truck, which was now loaded with blankets and pillows, and looked out over a cliff to the ocean below.
“Please, there’s no way to outdo a coffee date like the one we had,” Becky dismissed, shuffling closer to Freen and allowing their hands to gravitate towards one another.
“It’s so pretty out here,” Freen said, enjoying the view of the sun that was getting closer to the horizon.
“You should try jumping sometime.”
“Excuse me?” Freen blanched.
“My dad took my siblings and me out here for our first cliff jump. It’s fucking high for a first time, but it’s so much fun,” Becky said, an enthusiastic smile taking over her face.
“I’m going to pass. Heights and I don’t mesh too well.”
“I thought you’d be fearless, Chankimha,” Becky said, feigning shock before laughing. “You’re brave enough to galivant through Europe and raise two kids alone but cliff jumping scares you?”
“Yes, Becky, because I have a little thing in me called self-preservation,” Freen said, making Becky laugh more.
“Bummer. I’ll just talk you into it later,” Becky said with a wink. “For now, I think you’ll prefer some light dining and a view.”
The shorter brunette reached in front of her and moved some blankets aside to pull out a flat thermal bag.
“Pizza, for the balanced diet,” Becky explained as she pulled out the still-hot pizza box and handed it over to Freen.
“And water, because I actually do believe in proper hydration.”
“Holy shit, this smells amazing,” Freen said as she opened the lid of the box.
“Just wait till you see what I brought for dessert.”
“You just keep coming with the surprises, don’t you?” Freen asked, to which Becky shrugged with a smirk.
“I like keeping you on your toes.”
If Freen weren’t so nervous, she would have kissed Becky on the spot.
Maybe later, the taller brunette thought to herself as she ate some pizza and watched the sun glisten off the water with a beautiful woman beside her.
-----
Engfa was pleasantly surprised by how smoothly things were going.
Emily was a great listener and was extremely helpful. Engfa didn’t even have to ask for help with setting the table, the six year-old just did it on her own accord and without any complaint.
And Nita, despite her warnings from Irin, was comfortable with keeping to herself and not snapping unless provoked. Then again, Irin did meet her when she was still getting adjusted to the new living arrangement; that would make anyone grouchy.
It was as they ate dinner that some of Nita's less than pleasant attitude start to unfold.
“ P'Fa, are you and Freen sisters like me and Nity?” Emily asked, dipping her piece of toast into some of the tomatoes sauce that was oozing out of the macaroni.
“Not biologically,” Engfa began to say. “But I lived with Freen and her family through all of high school. So yeah, we like to think of ourselves as sisters.”
“ P'Nita and I are sisters, ‘cept we have different daddies.”
“Emily,” Nita hissed, glaring at Emily from across the table.
“It’s okay,” Engfa reassured, not wanting the situation to escalate.
" Mommy said our daddi–"
“Okay, that’s enough,” Nita said, standing up and grabbing Emily from her seat.
“Wait, Nita, she’s just want to talk. It’s really okay-,” Engfa said, trying to intervene and stop Nita from her attempts to pull Emily towards the stairs.
“Stop it!” Nita yelled, making the room go silent. “Why does everyone think they can tell me how to handle Emily? I know what’s best for her, and I know what she can and can’t do. Not you; Not Freen; Me!”
“Just let her finish eating,” Engfa negotiated, glancing at Emily who was looking at her toast dejectedly.
“Fuck, whatever,” Nita cursed, releasing Emily and storming towards the stairs.
“ Nita, you hardly ate anything!” Engfa called out, noticing the barely touched plate.
“She doesn’t like to eat food that Freen makes,” Emily said, her tone much less excited than before.
“Why ka?” Engfa asked, not finding anything wrong with the food.
“She doesn’t want Freen to make her sick like the other parents,” Emily said, not thinking much about what she just said.
Engfa, however, was struck by the comment and plopped back into her seat. She mulled over a thought before leaning closer to Emily and speaking in a hushed voice.
“What else does P'Nita not like?”
-----
Becky cheered as she, once again, beat Freen at a round of ‘uno’.
“This is the dumbest card game,” Freen groaned, tossing her hand into the pile that was going to be re-shuffled.
“Don’t be a sore loser,” Becky teased as she gathered the cards in her hands. “It takes some time to get the hang of it.”
“ Bec, it’s ‘uno.’ My dad taught me how to play when I was 6!”
“Oh,” Becky said, doing her best not to laugh. “So, you just genuinely suck?”
Freen flipped Becky off but smiled at the jab.
“My dad did his best, but I guess I was never meant to be a ‘uno’ champion,” Freen said, accepting her fresh hand.
“You don’t talk about him much. What does he do?” Becky asked, ignoring the game they were playing for a moment.
“He… umm, he was a contractor,” Freen said, not looking up at Becky.
“Is he retired?” Becky asked, not entirely grasping the allusion Freen presented.
“He died when I was 17.”
“Oh shit,” Becky said, already kicking herself for being so block-headed. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s fine,” Freen said, smiling weakly at Becky. “According to Nune Chankimha's handbook, I should’ve been over it within a year anyways.”
A tear started to roll down Freen's cheek, which Becky didn’t hesitate to wipe away with her thumb.
“I can now see why you don’t talk about her and her husband very often,” Becky said, to which Freen nodded. “Was that why you ran off to Europe?”
“Good job, detective Rebecca,” Freen said, smirking at her date. “It was barely a year after my dad died and my Mae decided it was okay to start dating an old college friend. I was pissed and headed straight for the airport after my graduation ceremony without evening telling her.”
“Remind me again why you’re too scared to jump from a cliff?” Becky asked, gaining a laugh from Freen.
“I don’t even know why I came back sometimes. She hardly ever supports any of my decisions as is. If my dad were still alive, he would be so much better at helping me with the girls.”
“For what it’s worth. I’m glad you came back because it means I got to meet you,” Becky said, giving Freen's hand a gentle squeeze.
“That’s a definite perk,” Freen said, smiling at Becky. “Let’s talk about something different. I don’t want to get all debbie downer on this amazing date,” Freen said, looking out towards the setting sun.
It was just about to disappear, making the sky a beautiful combination of orange, yellow, and pink.
“Want to play another round of ‘uno’?” Becky asked, to which Freen shook her head.
“I want to do something that would piss off my Mae.”
“Umm,” before Becky could fully articulate a sentence, Freen was climbing out of the bed of the truck and shimming out of her jacket.
“You’ve convinced me. Let’s jump.”
“Hold your horses, Chankimha. I barely convinced you,” Becky said, shuffling to the edge of the truck and letting her legs dangle out.
Freen continued to remove layers as she rationalized why she wanted to jump.
“You said it was fun.”
“Yes, but-,”
“And that your dad took you here with your siblings, so, therefore, it must be safe.”
“Okay, but-,”
“My Mae would never let me step outside of my comfort zone. She always wanted me to play it safe. I’m only starting to realize that I’m stepping out of that boundary after my dad died and I won't let her stop that.”
“That’s great. But maybe baby steps first.”
“Like you said, Bec. I moved to Europe. I chose to raise two kids alone. So, what’s stopping me from jumping?”
“That whole self-preservation thing you were talking about,” Becky reminded, doing her best not to check Freen out.
It was hard not to as the woman was down to her underwear and bra.
“Will I die?” Freen asked.
“No, P'Freen. You might piss yourself, but you won’t die,” Becky said, knowing very well that the water was deep enough and had no points that jutted out on the way down.
“Okay ka. Then I want to do it. But I refuse to go alone.”
“I don’t know if I need to remind you the water is cold.”
“And we have blankets,” Freen reminded, stepping closer to Becky and grasping her hand. “Please, Becky. I want to do this.”
Becky scrutinized Freen's face for a beat, doing her best to gouge if the woman was serious.
Deciding that her pleading eyes were too hard to resist, Becky agreed and began to strip out of her layers as well.
Once both women were down to their underclothes, they stood at the cliff edge and tangled their fingers together.
To Becky, the 30ft drop was another stupidly hot summer day spent with her family; but to Freen, it was much more than that. This felt like she was crossing the threshold of her relationship with Becky.
Like she was letting go completely and allowing herself to fully open up to the other woman.
“We jump on three,” Becky said, giving Freen's fingers a gentle squeeze.
The brunette counted.
One.
Two.
Three.
The two women stepped off and fell the 30 ft down to the water where they plunged into the gentle waves.
Hands still tangled together, they kicked to the surface.
Just as Becky barely took in a breath of air, Freen was pulling her in and pressing their lips together.
In the cold water, under the sky of warm orange, yellow, and pink, Freen and Becky shared their first kiss.
And oh, what a wonderous first kiss it was.
To be continued...
A/N:
Engfa Waraha