"you're made of stardust and i am forever in awe. take away the rainbows and the bright blue clouds, you'll still be glistening in the storm. and each day of your trip around the sun, my only wish for you is that you keep shining and showing how much better the world is, my world is, with you in it" - beccanasia

-----

For the first two days at the hospital, Nita was showing signs of improvement. She was restricted in her movements, but her pain was becoming less and less, and the doctors were sure that she could be sent home within a week.

This was good news as P'Beer had informed Freen that Mind was having a public funeral and that the girls were invited to watch.

Nita was determined to go, and Freen was in full support to take her and Emily for what was likely to be a very small and quick ceremony.

On the third morning, however, Nita awoke with a heavy cough, a fever, and vomiting. It was alarming, to say the least, but Nita's doctor ran the necessary tests to find out what was causing these problems.

A few hours later, Dr. Tam entered the room to find Freen holding back the crying girl’s hair as she vomited into a paper bowl.

“So, it looks like Pranita has pneumonia,” Dr. Tam explained, gaining Freen's attention briefly before she looked back to Nita who squeezed her eyes shut in pain as a cough racked through her body.

“What can we give her then? She’s been in pain all morning,” Freen said as she wiped the teen’s mouth with a tissue before getting up to dispose of the bowl.

“I’ll get her something for the pain and we'll get her going on some antibiotics. But pneumonia is not something to play around with, especially in her condition, so I’m going to extend her time here by another week,” Dr. Tam said as he scratched something into Nita's chart before handing it off to Lilah.

“No,” Nita croaked out as she tried to sit up a bit. Freen was quick to stop her. “ Freen, my mom’s funeral,” the teen said desperately, making the foster mom sigh.

“I know, baby. I’ll call P'Beer and see what she can do,” Freen promised in hopes of easing the teen’s panic.

Deep down, Freen knew that P'Beer had no say in when Mind's funeral happened, and that Nita was most likely going to miss it. It was worth a shot, nonetheless, in case P'Beer knew who to speak with to have the funeral moved to another day.

“Can you call her now?” Nita asked as she wiped at her burning cheeks.

“I’ll call when you’re napping,” Freen said, making the teen shake her head.

“No. Please, Freen,” Nita nearly begged, making the older woman sigh before she relented.

“I’ll be in the hallway,” Freen said, pressing a kiss to Nita's forehead before she slipped out of the room.

Several attempts later, Freen managed to reach P'Beer who clearly wasn’t pleased with the reason behind the call.

“I’m sorry, Freen, but I can’t move mountains. The funeral has a set date and I am not the one who dictates when that is. It’s unfortunate that Nita will miss it, but Mind's grave will be there for many years so she can visit whenever she pleases.”

Freen wanted to berate P'Beer for being so harsh about the whole situation. She wanted to call her out on her continued neglect of Nita, but P'Beer still had all the cards. She got to determine what happened to the girls next, which meant that Freen had to play nice until the legalities could be sorted out.

“I understand,” Freen said through her teeth.

“If that’s all, I have a meeting-,”

Freen hung up the phone on her end, taking slight satisfaction in cutting P'Beer off. While she couldn’t stop P'Beer from speaking poorly about Nita, she could at least stop her from speaking entirely. And if it were to be mentioned in the future, she could always say the call dropped.

Either way, Freen had little time to take pleasure in her choice as she realized she had to go back into the room and break the news to Nita.

Stepping back inside, Freen watched as Nita wiggled in her bed in discomfort and tried to find a comfortable position.

“Do you need anything, baby?” Freen asked as she took her seat next to the bed once again.

“Can you rub my chest?” Nita asked as she struggled to take in a long breath.

Having already been asked this several times, Freen reached out and began to rub Nita's upper chest in slow, soothing circles. The delicate pressure and the warmth that began to develop from the skin to skin
contact allowed for the teen to breathe a bit easier.

“Is that better?” Freen asked as she smiled softly at the teen who briefly shut her eyes and relished in the feeling.

“ Ka,” Nita whispered before she realized what she’d sent Freen out for. “Can P'Beer move the funeral?” Nita asked, her eyes snapping open and looking at Freen expectantly.

“I’m sorry, baby. There’s nothing P'Beer can do,” Freen said softly as she continued to rub the soothing circles over Nita's chest.

“No,” Nita whimpered as fresh tears sprung to her eyes. “It’s not fair.”

“I know,” Freen cooed as she continued her gentle ministrations and allowed Nita to cry out her sorrow.

“I just wanted to say goodbye,” Nita cried as her chest quivered with her sobs.

“You will, honey. You’ll say goodbye once you're better.”

“It won’t be the same.”

Freen sighed when she realized Nita was right. There was nothing she could do that could give her the closure that the funeral would. She just hoped that the universe would cut Nita some slack and make things a bit easier for her.

But miracles weren’t easy to come by, even if someone was overdue a few.

-----

With Freen staying with Nita for most of the day, Becky had taken over with all general care related to Emily.

From morning to night, with meals, homework, and the occasional emotional breakdown in between, Becky was there for Emily.

It’d only been five days since Nita's accident, but Emily was practically glued to Becky's hip after their time spent together. But it didn’t mean that they didn’t miss the other half of their family.

“When’s mama coming home?” Emily asked as she sat on Freen and Becky's bed and allowed for Becky to braid her hair for the night.

“I’m not too sure, sweetheart. P'Nita still pretty sick and she needs time to heal,” Becky explained as she combed her fingers through the dark locks before continuing her braid.

“She’s not coming to mommy’s funeral?” Emily asked as she picked at the bedsheet under her.

“No. But you and I will still go together. Is that alright?” Becky asked.

A long pause settled between them as Emily seemed to mull over the idea.

“ Nity and I do everything together,” Emily finally said, making Becky nod.

“Is it scary not having her around?” Becky ventured, as she gently tied off the braid.

As Emily thought over the question, Becky carefully pulled the girl back into her arms and rested against the headboard of the bed.

“It’s not scary,” Emily started to say as she pressed her back into Becky's chest. “But it’s weird. I don’t like being without her.”

“Does it make you upset that we won’t let you see her?” Becky asked next as she allowed Emily to twist the engagement ring on her finger.

“No ‘cause mama said that Nity has a germ that she can spread. I just wish I could hug her.”

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel a bit better?” Becky decided to ask, making the little girl turn over and look up at her for a beat.

“Are you going to marry my mama?” Emily asked, changing the trajectory of the conversation.

“Who told you?” Becky playfully teased as she poked her finger against the little girl’s side, making her giggle.

“Only married people wear matching rings,” Emily explained, making Becky laugh lightly.

“Nothing gets past you,” Becky said fondly as she tapped Emily's nose. “Is it okay that I marry your mama?”

“Yeah. As long as you love each other lots,” Emily said.

“I promise, my love for your mama is bigger than the whole universe,” Becky said, making Emily's eyes go wide.

They had recently started reading a book on planets and Emily just learned how large the universe was. She knew that Becky wasn’t playing around when she said her love of her mama was larger than that.

“But I don’t just love your mama. I love you and P'Nita too.”

“As big as the universe?” Emily asked, still a bit baffled by the enormity of the expression.

“As big as the universe,” Becky affirmed, making a large smile spread onto Emily's face.

“I need to tell you something super important,” Emily said, bringing a certain serious tone to the conversation.

“Go ahead,” Becky prompted as Emily sat up on her lap.

“Mama told me that there all sorts of love. Like between sisters, and mommies and their kids, and best friends. You’re my best friend,” Emily explained, making Becky smile as happy tears welled in her eyes.

“You’re my best friend too, Emi Bear,” Becky promised, only to make the little girl shake her head.

“No, wait,” Emily said, her train of thought not finished yet. “I loved you like a best friend but now I love you like I love my mama.”

“How big is that love?” Becky asked, making Emily stretch her arms out wide.

“As big as the universe. But I don’t want to call you Becky anymore if you’re more than my best friend.”

“What do you want to call me then?” Becky asked, already aware of where this was heading.

“My mommy. I don’t want to replace my first mommy, but you can be my other mommy. Freen said that there is all sorts of love and there is always plenty for everyone. I can love you, mama, and my mommy, can’t I?”

“Of course you can. With a heart as big as yours I’m sure there’s enough love to go around,” Becky said as she lovingly stroked back some of the baby hair that framed Emily's face.

“So, will you be my mommy?” Emily asked as she unsurely chewed her lip.

Becky simply sat up and leaned forward to press a kiss to Emily's forehead before pulling the girl into her arms for an embrace.

“Always and forever, my girl.”

-----

As the days drew nearer to Mind's funeral, Nita seemed to grow more and more irritated by the thought of not being able to attend. With her irritation came her typical bouts of anger which were almost always aimed at Freen.

Feeling bad for avoiding the abuse and not being there to mediate it, Becky decided to come up with the much-needed solution.

Seeing as she was already going to take Emily to the service, Becky decided that the next best thing to having Nita there would be to face-time her in.

At first, the teen was opposed to the idea and claimed that it wouldn’t be the same. But the night before the funeral, she shifted gears and quickly decided that she wanted to at least watch the service at some proximity.

On that Sunday, the day that Nita was originally set to be released from the hospital, the teen sat up in bed with Freen close by as she watched the funeral of her mother through her foster mom’s laptop.

Nita decided before the facetime call arrived that she would be strong. She wouldn’t cry over the situation more because too much emotion would make her seem weak.

But then she saw the coffin. And she knew that inside that box laid the woman that she loved with every fiber of her being. Mind may not have been able to return that sentiment, but it still didn’t stop Nita from loving her so fiercely is hurt.

Nita kept her eyes stuck on the screen in fear of looking at Freen. She didn’t want to look at the foster mom since she made it feel so safe to fall apart. She didn’t want that comfort yet.

A priest held the service. His speaking was too wobbly due to age for Nita to actually understand, but she knew that his closing of the bible and his nod to the funeral directors was the sign that this was it.

This would be the last time she would see where her mother laid. It scared Nita. The thought of never being near her again. The thought of having six feet of earth between them the next time they crossed paths.

The coffin was lowered slowly. And the further and further down it went the more obvious Nita's crying became.

The teen sobbed and reached to the screen where she allowed her fingers to touch along the edge of the grave line. It was almost like a silent plea for Mind to come back.

“They’re going to fill the grave now, Nita. Do you want to watch?” Becky asked as the image remained steady on the grave.

Nita couldn’t supply a verbal response. But she knew it would be too painful to watch the ground cover her mother, so with a quick motion, Nita shut the laptop and shoved it aside.

Just then, guttural cries escaped her lips as the full weight of everything settled in her heart.

Freen, still silent and allowing Nita to just feel, got off her seat and stepped closer to the bed where she gently sat next to the crying girl.

She may not be enough for the girl right now, but the comfort of another human was certainly welcomed and Nita seemed to gravitate towards her.

Wordlessly, Nita curled against her foster mom and gripped to her shirt in desperation as she cried into her chest.

Freen thought her grip was an attempt to quell her shaking. Nita knew it was because she didn’t want to lose Freen too.

-----

Despite Freen insisting on staying at the hospital with Nita nearly 24/7, there were times when she had to go back home to check in on Becky and Emily and take some time to herself to re-coup before heading back.

With Nita's pneumonia, and constant need to sleep in order to heal, Freen found a four-hour pocket in the day that she was able to sneak back home.

Nita always knocked out after lunch as she was given a round of pain medication, so Freen took that time to head home, shower, eat food that wasn’t from a cafeteria, and of course, enjoy some cuddles with her other girls.

Becky welcomed Freen into the house with open arms and an offer to help her shower before getting her something to eat.

Freen, who knew she needed to get cleaned off before she could properly see Emily, agreed to the assistance of her fiancé in the shower as she was running low on energy today and couldn’t see herself staying awake under the warm shower stream.

“Who’s kidnapped our kid today?” Freen asked as Becky helped her undress before moving onto herself.

Becky laughed at the question as she shimmied out of her jeans.

“Her Aunty Mari insisted on taking her to the park after lunch,” Becky answered, making Freen smile fondly. “She promised to bring her back as soon as I text her that you’re finished in the shower.”

“Your sisters are wonderful,” Freen said as she stepped into the shower with Becky.

Without hesitation, Freen leaned into Becky and allowed the brunette to hold her as they stood under the stream of water.

“How was she last night?” Becky asked, deciding to change the conversation to Nita.

“She couldn’t sleep. She went between watching movies and crying over her mom. Thankfully, her latest dose of pain meds finally knocked her out.”

“I can watch her tonight if you want to get some real rest,” Becky offered, but Freen quickly shook her head in its place against her neck.

“I really appreciate it, bebe, but I’m hoping that my sticking around this whole time will show her that I care. I can sacrifice my sleep to show her I love her.”

“Okay. But don’t forget to take care of yourself too,” Becky gently reminded as she ran her fingers up and down Freen's back soothingly.

“It’s only for a few more days,” Freen hummed, trying her best to reassure Becky that she would be fine.

“I can’t wait to have you back in bed with me,” Becky said, making Freen laugh softly.

“What, my cold feet are better than Emi's kicking?” Freen asked, making her fiancé laugh as well.

“At least you’re gentle. Emi's tiny but she has a wicked power behind her kick,” Becky said before gently pressing Freen back to show off her hip. “Look at this bruise.”

“ Nita and I theorized that she dreams she’s a ninja.”

“Try a kangaroo. I swear, she deliberately pulls her leg back before kicking as hard as humanly possible.”

Freen continued to giggle before she became somber and frowned slightly.

“I miss her,” Freen revealed with a pout, making Becky chuckle before she kissed the pout away.

“Well then, we better hurry up in here so then Mari can bring her back home.”

Freen didn’t need to be told twice. With everything that’s happened the last few days, all Freen really craved was a good cuddle from Emily. And she intended to get one before heading back to the hospital.

-----

After ten days in the hospital, Nita recovered from her pneumonia, and the chest tube was finally removed.

After several tests to check on her breathing, Dr. Tam deemed her well enough to head home with strict orders to limit her movement for another six weeks and to refrain from playing hockey for a few months.

The night before she was discharged, Nita stayed awake and stared at the ceiling as she allowed her worrying thoughts to take over.

Freen, having stayed up to see if her kid would ever go to sleep, decided to step in after nearly two hours of Nita just staring into space.

“What’re you thinking about?” Freen asked softly as she sat on the edge of Nita's bed and allowed herself to lay back alongside the girl.

“Nothing,” Nita whispered, her eyes still stuck on the ceiling.

“For that long, huh?”

“I can’t tie my own shoelaces,” Nita said bluntly, leaving Freen all the more confused.

“I’ve seen you tie them before,” Freen said, making Nita shake her head.

“No, I physically can’t tie my own shoelaces right now. And I can’t raise my arms over my head. I can’t wash my own hair. I can’t put on my own clothes. I can’t tie my shoelaces and I’ve been trying to figure out how I’m going to do all of this stuff when we go home.”

Freen couldn’t help the small smile she slipped when Nita called it her home. It was endearing to say the least.

Her smile quickly faded, however, when she realized that Nita had some very valid concerns to mull over. She was quite possibly the most independent teen out there, yet her injury still had several more weeks of healing to do and her movement was incredibly limited.

“If you’ll let us, Becky and I will be happy to help you with those things. Plus, Emily just learned how to tie her own laces, so I’m sure she’ll be happy to step up that area.”

It was Nita's turn to give a small smile before she became serious again.

“I don’t like feeling useless,” Nita revealed, making Freen sigh before she turned onto her side to look at the teen a bit better.

“I know. No one likes to feel that way. But this is a chance for others to care for you for a change. You deserve a break, baby. This isn’t ideal, but you can trust us to support you.”

“I want to believe you but it’s hard,” Nita admitted as she glanced at Freen with unshed tears in her eyes. “I’m just so scared that you’re going to turn on me like everyone else in my life has.”

Freen wordlessly grabbed Nita's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“It’ll take time for you to learn to trust again. We’ll take it slowly, okay?” Freen asked making the teen nod before she moved to speak. Nita stopped before she could say anything, though. “What else is bugging you, baby?”

“I just,” Nita started again, seeming very unsure. Another hand squeeze prompted her to continue. “Can you hold me until I fall asleep?”

Nita, the head-strong, fierce, independent teen that made the earth shake with her strength, was reduced to a mere child before Freen. The child that was beat-down, broken, and forced to build her stronger façade was breaking through and asking for the simplest form of comfort: to be held.

And despite Freen previously fretting that she lost so much time with the girls, lost the milestones and the chance to watch them grow, she was now face to face with what she could only imagine Nita was like before the foster system.

Her sweet brown eyes pleading for a comfort only a mother could provide, and she was asking Freen to fulfill that for her.

“Come here,” Freen whispered as she released Nita's hand and gently shifted so then her arm was wrapped around the teen’s shoulders.

Nita nuzzled into her embrace and released a content sigh when Freen pressed a loving kiss to her forehead.

“I love you, Freen,” Nita whispered, making Freen's heart clench as a rush of emotion ran through it.

“I love you too, Nita,” Freen replied as she nuzzled her nose against the teen’s head before adding, “with all my heart.”

To be continued...