like a flower in the desert
i had to grow
in the cruelest weather,
holding on to every drop of rain
just to stay alive.
but it's not enough to survive,
i want to bloom
beneath the blazing sun,
and show you all of the colours
that live inside of me,
i want you to see
what i can become.

-christy ann martine

-----

“Nity coming home! Nity coming home,” Emily sing-songed as she skipped around the middle floor of the townhouse, which Becky was attempting to decorate for the Nita's homecoming.

Despite the doctor orders for Nita to rest, Becky thought it would be nice to bring the family together to welcome the girl home and show her that she was truly wanted there.

Becky knew that the loss of Mind would cause her to fear her place in the family, but by bringing people together just for Nita she hoped she could disprove that thought before the girl could latch onto it.

“Throw this around to make it look festive,” Engfa said to Emily as she handed a bag of streamers to the very energetic child.

“Really, Fa? Streamers?” Becky asked as she watched Emily giddily toss the colourful tissue paper about. She couldn’t help but cringe at the mess that would have to be cleaned up later.

“Relax, mommy bear, she’s having fun,” Engfa teased before returning to her task of writing out a welcome home sign. “Minnie would be much better at this,” Engfa mentioned as she scrutinized her own calligraphy.

“How’s life with a teenager?” Becky asked.

Minnie had been living with Charlotte and Engfa for close to three months now, and by the sounds of it, there was no change in Minnie's mother, which meant she was becoming a more permanent fixture in the family.

“She’s getting more comfortable,” Engfa revealed. “And Char convinced Minnie's mom to let them get the rest of her things so they’re doing that right now.”

“She’s really gone and thrown her kid out, hasn’t she?” Becky asked, making Engfa sigh and nod her agreement.

“I guess it’s fitting that we took her into this big family. It’s like we’re a big group of rejects,” Engfa said with a small laugh, making Becky roll her eyes playfully.

“That’s the less preferable way to put it,” Becky agreed as she nodded her head. “Y’know, I never actually learned why you moved in with the Chankimha,” Becky said after she mulled the thought over for a beat.

“Freen never told you?” Engfa asked, making Becky shake her head.

“I know you guys were friend’s in elementary school. Freen said that you fully moved in with her family when you were sixteen, but she never told me why.”

“She’s always been good at letting people tell their own stories.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Becky said, suddenly realizing it may have been a sore subject.

“No, no. It’s no secret. My mom was a drug addict. She was pretty good at hiding her problem but by the time I got to highschool she really fell off the deep end. I practically lived with the Chankimha's by then, but when my mom started getting violent Fran and Nune insisted that I move in permanently.”

“That was nice of them to take you in,” Becky said, making Engfa nod her agreement. “They clearly rubbed off on you since you are returning the sentiment to another kid in need.”

“That was all Char,” Engfa waved off, making Becky laugh. “Alright, Armstrong. I told you about my messy childhood backstory. Your turn to spill.”

“What, Char didn’t tell you?” Becky asked as she cocked an eyebrow of suspicion.

“She never mentioned how you guys ended up in the foster system.”

“Our mom was an alcoholic,” Becky said as she grabbed Freen's binder of recipes to find the special brownies cookie recipe that Nita loves so much. “ Char was only six when CPS took us so I don’t think she ever really grasped how bad it was. That’s probably why she never mentioned it.”

“Do you know if she’s still alive?”

“No clue,” Becky said as she shrugged. “I like to believe that she’s doing better, though. That she turned her life around and started over.”

“I wish the opposite for my mom. I hope life is as cruel to her as she was to me,” Engfa said truthfully.

“That’s fair. I only spent eight years with an addict. You had to spend 16 years with one.”

“At least we both got out,” Engfa said before glancing at Emily who was tying streamers to her toy bunny. “Those poor girls have been jerked around more than any kid deserves. At least now they can get some peace.”

“I hope so,” Becky agreed as she smiled fondly at Emily before returning to making Nita's favourite cookies.

-----

“How does it feel to be free of all those wires?” Freen asked Nita as Lilah unhooked her final heart rate monitor and pulled the adhesive bit off her chest.

“Good,” Nita sighed out as she carefully sat up.

Freen and Lilah helped her get her feet off the bed so she could properly stand up for the first time without a bunch of cables and lines following her.

“Do you want to take a walk down the hall while we wait for Becky to get us?” Freen offered as she glanced at her phone to double-check her fiancé’s location.

“A short one couldn’t hurt,” Nita shrugged as she allowed Freen to support her on her right and start to lead her to the door.

Nita was wobbly on her feet and rested heavily against her foster mom, but she was moving at her fastest pace yet, which was a great sign of improvement.

“Are you happy to finally sleep in your bed again?” Freen asked in an attempt to make small talk and keep Nita's mind off of the pain that was most likely occurring on her left side.

“I’ve come to really like my mattress at home. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it,” Nita said with a small laugh. “I also miss Emi's snoring. It’s quieter than yours,” Nita teased, making Freen balk at her.

“Excuse me, missy,” Freen replied, already making the teen giggle at her own joke. “I do not snore. You, however, sound like a monster truck rally.”

“Hey, I’ve got a collapsed lung. What’s your excuse?” Nita wittily shot back, making herself and Freen laugh.

“Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise?”

Freen turned her head around quickly to see Becky standing at the other end of the hallway, near Nita's room.

“Looks like your chauffeur is here,” Freen said to Nita before she helped her turn around so they could start to approach Becky.

“You’re looking amazing, kid,” Becky praised as Nita slowly approached, still using Freen as her clutch.

“Truthfully, I still feel like shit. But I’m happy to know that I don’t look it,” Nita said as they finally arrived in front of the brunette.

Without even having to ask, Nita released Freen and moved to hug Becky who happily returned the embrace as gently as possible.

“We missed you at home,” Becky said as she lovingly stroked Nita's hair and pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

“I missed you guys too. I’m sorry the doctor didn’t let me have visitors,” Nita said before she pulled back and allowed Becky to support her.

“Your healing was priority. You don’t have to apologize for that,” Becky dismissed before glancing into the room to find Freen grabbing all of their things while Lilah pushed a wheelchair towards her and Nita.

“It looks like you’re getting a free ride to the car,” Becky mentioned just as Lilah exited the room and locked the wheelchair beside the teen.

“I don’t need it,” Nita dismissed, though her labored breathing begged to differ.

While she was getting stronger, Nita certainly couldn’t withstand prolonged periods of movements or standing. It was to be expected with the broken ribs and lung damage, but Nita  still found it incredibly frustrating.

“Truthfully, there wasn’t a lot of parking, so I had to park pretty far from the entrance,” Becky began to say, hoping to make the teen feel a bit better about accepting the help. “I would love to help you walk there, but I think you’ll feel a lot better if I push you there instead.”

For a beat, Freen, Becky, and Lilah patiently waited for Nita to come to her own conclusion and either accept or decline the offered assistance.

Eventually, Nita nodded and allowed Becky to help her slowly sit on the wheelchair.

“I promise, I will only go fast on the ramps,” Becky said as she took over Lilah's place and unlocked the wheels.

“ Bebe,” Freen warned before turning to Lilah. “Thank you ka for taking such good care of Nita,” Freen said to the nurse who nodded her appreciation of the gratitude.

“She was a great patient,” Lilah replied as she kindly squeezed Nita's shoulder and smiled at the bashful teen. “Remember to rest ka, take your pain medication if you need it, and to listen to your moms.”

Freen and Becky both froze at the way that Lilah addressed them to Nita. They fully expected Nita to react, to reject them as her moms and show her distaste for the titles.

“I will,” Nita said to Lilah, seemingly opting not to react at all to what Lilah said.

Simultaneously, Freen and Becky released tense breaths and decided to get a move on before anything could escalate.

“Let’s get you home then,” Becky spoke up as she began to push the wheelchair. “There was a gnarly ramp leading down to the parking lot that I just have to run down.”

“It looks like we’ll be back here sooner than I’d like,” Freen said to Lilah in passing before she hurried after her fiancé and kid.

-----

Freen, Becky, and Nita pulled up to the townhome before 6 o’clock. Becky managed to keep her lips sealed about the surprise get-together, but it was clear that Freen was picking up on what was happening as she recognized the various cars of their friends that were parked around the neighbourhood.

“Don’t,” Becky whispered when it looked like Freen was going to ask about it. Freen smirked but complied, nonetheless.

Together, Freen and Becky helped Nita out of the car. The teen used Freen for support as they walked up to the front door.

“You alright?” Freen asked as she noted the small wheeze escaping Nita every so often.

“I just need a minute,” Nita dismissed as she tried to re-catch her breath. “I haven’t done the stairs in a while.”

“Take your time,” Becky said as she opened the front door.

Not a sound came from the middle floor where everyone was patiently waiting.

“Okay,” Nita said when she re-couped and was ready for the next flight.

Once more, Freen assisted Nita up the stairs at a painstakingly slow pace.

Once they arrived at the top, the sound of excited cheers and greetings gained Nita's attention and had her quietly gasping at the sight of the gathered group.

“ Nity!” Emily squealed with glee as she left Athita's side and hurried towards her sister.

“Remember what we said about being gentle,” Becky said as she blocked Nita slightly from the running child.

“I remember,” Emily promised before she slowed down and very delicately wrapped her arms around Nita. “I missed you,” Emily said, gaining Nita's attention for a brief moment.

“I missed you too,” Nita promised, though she was quick to look back at the group in shock again. “What’s everyone…,” Nita began to ask, though she faltered with uncertainty.

“They’re here for you, baby,” Freen said in encouragement, making Nita's shock fall away.

Everyone seemed to pause for her reaction, though no one was prepared for the tears that began to fall down her cheeks quickly.

“Honey,” Becky said sympathetically as she reached up to dry the teen’s tears. “I didn’t mean to make you sad. Everyone just wanted to celebrate your coming home.”

“I’m not sad,” Nita said as she continued to cry.

Charlotte stepped forward from the group and approached the girl. Gently, the coach wrapped her player in a hug before pulling back and pressing their foreheads together.

“I know it’s overwhelming when you finally see how many people care for you. We’re just all so very happy that you’re okay.”

Nita, who sniveled back her tears and nodded her agreement, re-wrapped her coach in an embrace before returning her attention to the still awaiting group.

“Thank you for caring,” Nita said to everyone, making them all wave off the thanks.

“That’s what family is for, babygirl,” Araya spoke up, making the others agree. “Now, I’ve got a feeling that you’d appreciate a warm plate of food that isn’t from a hospital.”

Nita laughed and nodded her agreement before allowing Araya to approach and take over Freen's place at her side.

“Let’s get to eating then,” Araya said, allowing for the group to disperse around the kitchen as she led the teen to the table to get her situated.

Freen and Becky stood together for a moment as they watched their family all dote on Nita the way she truly deserved. It was incredible to see her being so receptive to the help and the physical affection that everyone was trying to get in on.

“You made our girl cry tears of joy for the first time,” Freen said as she stepped behind Becky and wrapped her arms around her waist.

“She’s accepting this situation. She’s accepting all of us,” Becky said as she leaned back into Freen's embrace and closed her eyes at the feeling of delicate kisses landing on her neck.

“It feels good having everyone back together again,” Freen said as she smiled fondly at the sight of Nita and Minnie catching up.

Becky nodded her agreement. “It really does.”

-----

As nice as it was to have everyone together, Nita noticed her energy was slipping away quickly and her pain was rising as she’d been sitting up for well over an hour at the dinner table.

Not wanting to ruin the festivities, Nita decided to find some comfort in Freen who had taken a seat on the couch to talk to Charlotte, Engfa, and Irin.

At the sight of Nita approaching, the group’s conversation fell short and Freen turned her full attention to the slightly paled teen.

“Are you feeling okay?” Freen asked as she took Nita's hand and guided the teen to sit next to her.

In the most motherly fashion possible, Freen placed her hands on Nita's forehead, cheeks, and neck in order to feel for a fever.

“Just tired,” Nita lied as she tried to breathe through her pain. “Can I sit with you for a bit?” Nita asked, making the foster mom nod instantly.

“Of course, baby,” Freen said, prompting the teen to turn and lean back so then she was rested against Freen's front.

Nita shuffled a bit before sighing out in relief at the reduced pressure against her ribs. Freen held the teen who relaxed against her and smiled softly at how comfortable Nita was to seek out this sort of contact from her.

“Sorry for interrupting. You can go back to your conversation,” Nita said to the other women who waved off her apology.

“It wasn’t anything serious,” Charlotte dismissed, though it was clear her player could see through her lie.

“Then why’d you all go quiet?” Nita asked, turning her head slightly to look up at Freen.

“I was just asking Char about the girl who did this to you,” Freen explained before waiting a beat to gauge Nita's reaction.

“Well,” Nita said, looking back to her coach. “What’s happening with her then?”

“She’s got a three-game suspension,” Charlotte sighed, making Engfa scoff.

“Three games? She deliberately injured our Nita,” Irin argued, seeming to grow defensive over the teen.

“Well, she’s claiming it was an accident,” Charlotte explained, earning uniform eye-rolls from the three older women.

“Some accident,” Engfa spoke up. “ Nita's out for god knows how long and that little shit can play again in a month?”

“I’m trying to get her punishment increased. She’s not a safe player to have on the ice.”

“I provoked her,” Nita said, making the adults look at her. “I can’t remember what I said, but it must’ve been shitty enough to warrant this.”

“You didn’t deserve to be folded in half like that, kid,” Charlotte said in disagreement. “Besides, there is nothing stopping her from trying shit like that again the next time you have a game together.”

“That could be months from now,” Nita sighed. “Please don’t try to get her kicked off her team. I know what it’s like to be angry. I was angry too that day. But hockey might be her escape like it is for me, and she doesn’t deserve to have that taken away.”

“That’s incredibly kind of you to think like that,” Freen said as she comfortingly rubbed Nita's arm. “But the same way that Char watches your anger on the ice, someone needs to watch that other girl’s, otherwise people get hurt.”

“So, tell her coach to be more careful,” Nita said to Charlotte who paused to consider it.

“I’ll give her one more chance to play against my girls,” Charlotte finally relented, but she was quick to follow up with, “if she loses control like that again, though, I’m having her removed. My team’s safety comes first.”

“Thank you, P'Char,” Nita said.

She felt good about taking the high road and not letting her emotions dictate her reaction. Before, she would get angry about how unfair it was that the other girl got off with an easy punishment.

She would be like her mother and feel like the world was out to get her. But Nita was hit with the striking reality that not everyone had it easy. People struggled just like she did, and while others rarely cut her any slake, she could do her part and try to cut others some slake instead.

It was easier to forgive than Nita ever realized before.

-----

Closer to 8pm, people began to head home and slowly the gathering dwindled down to the core family members.

Irin and Freen continued to chat as Charlotte, Engfa, and Minnie said their goodbyes to the others.

“You've gotten protective over her,” Freen said when she realized that Nita was fast asleep against her.

“Hmm?” Irin hummed her confusion as she glanced at Richie who was carrying a sleeping Athita while talking to his sister.

“ Nita. When you heard about the other player's punishment you got angry and said ‘our Nita’.”

“Well, that’s my niece. And nobody fucks with my niece,” Irin explained, making Freen laugh softly. “No, but really, I love her, and I still think it isn’t fair that she’s lost so much while the other kid gets off easy.”

“Thank you for accepting her,” Freen said as she reached out to grasp her best friend’s hand.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to at the beginning.”

“Hey, babe. This one needs to get to bed,” Richie said as he pointed to the little girl that was drooling on his shoulder.

“ Aww. Daddy’s calling,” Irin said before she moved to kiss her friend’s cheek.

“Eww,” Freen said at Irin's choice of words.

“What? Tita is practically our child,” Irin said past a giggle.

“Let’s stick to Uncle Richie, ka?” Freen asked. Irin merely waved her off before approaching her boyfriend and niece.

Freen smiled fondly at the small family of three before deciding that it was a good idea to get her own kid up to bed as well.

“Hey, babygirl. Let’s get your side cleaned up,” Freen whispered as she gently ran her fingers through Nita's hair.

Cringing as she stirred, Nita seemed to be met by her growing pain, but she did her best to mask it. A groan slipped past her lips despite her best efforts.

“We can get you those pain meds too,” Freen said as she helped Nita to her feet.

“Is everyone gone?” Nita asked sleepily as she was led up the stairs.

“Almost everyone. Richie and Irin were just making their way out.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye,” Nita mumbled, but Freen was quick to shush her.

“Don’t apologize. Everyone knows you’re injured and that sleeping helps. Besides, we’ll see them again soon enough.”

Freen sat Nita on the closed toilet seat and moved to grab the first-aid kit under the sink as well as her pain medicine.

Wordlessly, the foster mom got to work with replacing the bandage over Nita's incision site while the teen took the pill that Freen handed to her.

The stitches still had a few more days to dissolve, but they were snagging onto Nita's clothes and making her hurt more so the doctor said it was okay to keep them covered.

Freen came face to face with Nita's left side for the first time. She’d yet to see the incision site, let alone the jagged scar that ran alongside it.

“How did this scar happen?” Freen asked as she began to peel away the old bandage.

“Mark’s wife,” Nita mumbled as she seemed to wake up a bit more.

All that effort to keep the scar hidden was for nothing. Freen was looking right at it, but to Nita's surprise, her foster mom seemed saddened by the sight.

“I’m guessing you weren’t taken to the hospital?” Freen asked when she realized that the jaggedness and overall size proved there was no proper care.

“ Jun didn’t want to risk it.”

“And P'Beer never noticed?”

“ P'Beer never checked on us when we were there,” Nita said, making Freen furrow her eyebrows.

P'Beer was becoming more and more suspicious as time went on. Freen decided to save that tidbit of information for another day.

“You and Becky have the same rings,” Nita said, changing the subject.

Freen snapped out of her own thoughts and started to open the disinfectant wipe.

“Are you getting married?” Nita asked,
gaining Freen's full attention.

“How did you-?” Freen faltered when she noticed Nita looking at her ring.

Freen started wiping Nita's incision while she answered her previous question. “We are. The engagement was pretty recent.”

“When did she ask?”

“A month ago. We were going to tell you and Emi together but then-,”

“Don’t wait,” Nita said, cutting Freen off.

“What?” Freen asked in confusion as she stopped her cleaning of Nita's side.

“People wait for years to have their weddings. You shouldn’t wait, though. It’s not worth the risk of losing that opportunity forever.”

“Why would we lose it?” Freen pressed, still a bit confused by Nita's sudden sullenness.

“I was waiting to see my mom again to apologize and tell her I love her. It was just a month, you know? I shouldn’t have waited, though,” Nita explained, cueing Freen in on where her fear of losing time stemmed from.

“ Bec and I want to get married in November,” Freen revealed, deciding not to touch on what Nita's said.

It was a sensitive subject that the teen still got defensive over. It was better to let her feel her regret instead of trying to convince her otherwise.

“That’s good,” Nita said, offering a weak smile.

“I agree with you. I don’t like waiting for things either,” Freen explained, making Nita meet her eyes briefly.

“My dad and I always delayed things. He was a busy guy, and as hard as we tried to make plans on the weekend or something, we always had to postpone. The year he died we were supposed to go to Koh Samui. He got called to his work site in Chiang Mai that same week, though, so we had to postpone the trip. I remember I was so pissed because I wanted to go on vacation with him, but he put work before the family again. I didn’t hug him goodbye when he left for his work.”

“What hap… how did it…?” Nita asked unsurely.

“He had a heart attack two days after he left,” Freen answered, allowing a brief wave of sadness to rush through her. “I love my dad with all my heart, but his greatest flaw was letting important moments slip away. That’s why, after he passed, I swore to never delay important things. It’s not worth the risk.”

“I didn’t know that was how it happened… I’m sorry you lost him without saying goodbye,” Nita said, making Freen smile and squeeze her hand.

“I’m also sorry you lost your mom without saying what you wanted. I know how it feels, baby. I know how it hurts.”

“Does it ever go away?” Nita asked as a tear tumbled down her cheek. “Because I’m trying to be strong but it’s like I have a gaping hole in my chest that I can’t close.”

Wordlessly, Freen reached up to brush away the lone tear that tracked down her kid’s cheek.

“It takes time, but that hole doesn’t stay open forever. With time beautiful things, beautiful people, they fill that space. And every time you think about the person you lost, you’ll think about the people that helped you heal too. That’ll make it hurt less.”

Nita nodded and sniffled back her tears. After wiping under her eyes, Nita cleared her throat and returned to their prior conversation.

“So, a November wedding?”

Freen released a soft laugh as she wiped her own tears. Clearly, Nita also learned that distractions helped to heal a broken heart.

“Mm-hmm,” Freen hummed, returning her attention to Nita's small incision site which she dabbed with anti-septic cream. “I could use an assistant wedding planner.”

“I don’t want to get in the way,” Nita dismissed, but Freen was quick to shake her head.

“I want your help. Besides, you’ve got that artistic eye like me, which means I can trust you,” Freen said as she grabbed a bandage.

“You’ve never seen my art,” Nita said, making Freen smirk.

“I don’t have to. I know you’re talented.”

Nita blushed at the comment as Freen patted down the edges of the new bandage and stood up.

“You don’t have to, but I would love to see a sketch of yours someday,” Freen mentioned as she began to clean up the space.

“Someday,” Nita decided to say, making the mom smile contently.

As Freen set aside the first-aid kit, Nita yawned and slumped against the back of the toilet as the pain meds kicked in.

“Let’s get you to bed,” Freen said before looping Nita's arm over her shoulder and helping her to her feet.

Slowly, Freen eased the teen to her room. By the looks of it, Becky had already come through to set up a few things.

Nita's bedspread was pulled back, and her pillows were arranged the way the teen preferred. On the nightstand sat a glass of water as well two regular Tylenols for any late-night pain.

Most important of all, Nita's phone and earbuds were set on her pillow.

“Well, aren’t you getting the royal treatment,” Freen said playfully as she helped Nita into bed.

“I missed my bed,” Nita revealed as she sank into her pillows and shut her eyes contentedly.

Freen smiled and began to tuck the teen in before getting her music sorted out.

“Looks like Becky put a new playlist on here for you,” Freen mentioned as she set an earbud into Nita's ear and hit shuffle on the device.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Nita mumbled as she began to drift off to sleep.

“That’s my job,” Freen said as she pressed a kiss to the teen’s forehead.

“I love you, sweet girl.”

“Love you too,” Nita said before seeming to conk out entirely.

Freen pressed a final kiss onto her forehead before setting the other earbud into her ear, shutting off the bedside lamp, and moving to leave the room.

Freen paused at the doorway and listened to Nita's breathing. She was grateful to have the teen safe and sound at home once again.

To be continued...