Chapter 33: To Love One More Time

Authors Note: I want to thank each reader especially those that have commented and voted for this story. Is still going strong and is thanks to your support. So THANK YOU ALL 😊 for making this happen!!! This is a bittersweet chapter that will serve as an emotional breakthrough for Bai Yi. So I hope that you will enjoy it.  🙌 🙌🙌


Each time you meet an old emotional pattern with presence, your awakening to truth can deepen. There's less identification with the self in the story and more ability to rest in the awareness that is witnessing what's happening. You become more able to abide in compassion, to remember and trust your true home. Rather than cycling repetitively through old conditioning, you are actually spiraling toward freedom. Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.


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Migu sent a missive to Bai Yi to let them know that Feng Jiu was back at Qing Qui along with her prince consort to take on her duties. Bai Yi was contemplating to visit them but hesitated. He was at his residence terrace looking empty at the landscape around their mansion. He needed to take care of something important, but he didn't want to leave his wife alone.


"How about if you visit Xiao Jiu at the eastern lands? She's there with Dijun taking care of her duties. You should spend time with her, I'm sure you miss her."



His wife was no fool, she knew he wanted her to be distracted so he can roam around alone. She didn't mind it, but she knew he was hiding something from her. "I rather give them the space they need for now. They are still in their honeymoon phase and would like to spend time alone. I don't want to intrude; it is important for them as a married couple to adapt to each other in this stage. I will find the appropriate time to visit Xiao Jiu, Bai Yi. If you need to go for some reason and take care of something just go, I will be fine here."


"Very well, I will be back in a week time or maybe longer. Then we can discuss when to visit our daughter."


"Have a good trip."



Bai Yi left without saying goodbye to her.


"I wonder who is waiting for him now." She pondered.


Bai Yi went to the remote region of Shīzi by himself with little provisions. He wanted to find out more information about Wen Chang. He was inside the city looking for a place to stay. Several businesses were closed due to the circumstances of the exported goods interceptions. The provisions from Nine Heavens have greatly helped the economy of the city, but still things were not as prosperous as he remembered. Although he was familiar with some places in town, things have changed so much since the last time he visited it.


"Excuse me sir, where can I find an inn here?" He asked an old man cleaning some pots.


"Oh well, there a few inns that are still open for business. It depends on which part of town you would like to stay sir."


"I would like to stay near the palace, I have some business to attend to there." Bai Yi responded.


"In that case there is an inn three miles from here, right up the hill, that is the nearest one to the palace."


"Thank you" Bai Yi thanked the old man.


"Good day to you sir."


Bai Yi found the inn and rented a room there. After he ate, he decided to go to the palace and ask for an audience with Lord Wen Chang. He informed the gate keeper of his intention to visit the palace, he gave the gate keeper a false identity.


A guard went inside Wen Chang courtyard and informed him of the visitor asking for an audience.


"Send him in" Wen Chang said.


"Yes sir."


The guard escorted Bai Yi to a small courtyard outside the palace main hall. Wen Chang was brewing tea out in the terrace when the guard came with the unknown visitor.


"Lord Wen Chang", Bai Yi said.


"I was wondering when you were going to come and visit me your highness Bai Yi. Since our brief past meeting you were curious about my upbringing. As to why I have the honor to welcome you into my lands?"


"Lord Wen Chang, I admire your straightforwardness." Bai Yi addressed him.


Wen Chang smirked at Bai Yi. "It's a trait I inherited from my father; at least that is what I was told by my mother. Please take a seat. Care for some tea your highness?"


"Yes please. Thank you."


Wen Chang served Bai Yi his tea. "This was my mother's favorite tea. Pouchong tea, it gives off a floral and melon fragrance and has a rich, mild taste."


"The wrapped kind" Bai Yi answered.


"Yes indeed. It refers to the practice of wrapping the leaves in paper during the drying process to preserve the flavor longer." Wen Chang answered. "Please your highness tell me what I can do for you. Surely you didn't travel a great distance just to have some tea with me."


"I came to see if the provisions from Nine Heavens had reached your region." Bai Yi sternly responded.


"The provisions arrived weeks after our meeting with Ye Hua Tiajun to our region with no delays. We filled our palace's food bank and quickly began distribution since we already had everything in place to have a smooth dissemination of the supplies here. Nine Heavens and Qing Qui coordination to make this happened was a success. Please extend our thanks to Bai Zhi Dijun and Ye Hua Tianjun for their merits and efforts. Their forces are still monitoring other remote villages in the northern border. So far, no disappearances have been reported."


"Looks like everything is coming back to normal again." Bai Yi said.


"So far so good." Wen Chang sensed Bai Yi exasperation. "Is there anything else your highness wants to share with me?"


"Lord Wen Chang, I wouldn't know where or how to start without sounding improper." Bai Yi managed to say.


"Please go ahead." Wen Chang stared at Bai Yi intently.


Bai Yi cleared his throat. "Lord Wen Chang, I also came to see you because I knew your mother from long time ago when I was young. Qing Qui's army was fighting under the Shaoyan banner. His Lordship Dong Hua Dijun when he was the heavenly emperor, was trying to unify all the realms to achieve peace during Chaotic War Era, long before your time. My father Bai Zhi was one of Dijun's generals at that time. We were recruiting soldiers from all regions and I was assigned to come here and recruit strong and capable men willing to fight for the cause. The warriors from the White Lion tribe were some of the most ferocious and valiant men that I had the privilege to fight alongside with. Unfortunately, when the men returned from the war, they were ambushed by the enemy's war survivors and decimated most of them, including the men from the noble family, your mother family. It was a great loss of brave warriors. The widespread trauma caused by these atrocities and suffering of the civilian population was another legacy of these conflicts, creating extensive stress and indirect negative consequences on infrastructure, supplies provision, and social order. Displacement or forced migration during that time of war adversely affected many realm communities. Many people fled their homes in fear of losing their lives and their families, and as a result, many refugees and asylum seekers from all realms came to Nine Heavens to be assigned a new residency. Your mother remained here to assist with the after-war effects. It was then when I met your mother Lady Xibu Zu from the White Lion tribe. I fell in love with your mother at first sight, she was the most beautiful woman that I had the privilege to be with. She was kind, courageous, bold, humble, and brave. Always serving others. She dedicated most of her youth taking care of others. That was the trait that I admired most from her. I stayed here to assist her with her duties, it was then that we developed a relationship. When I was summoned by my father to come back to Qing Qui I promised her to return. But when I arrived at Qing Qui my father forced me to marry another from one of our western tribes as a debt payment from her family. After the wedding I came back to look for your mother, I was told that she was gone traveling to other remote villages doing what she loved most, serving. I looked for her for a long time and never was able to find her. I never forgive myself for not being able to explain to her what really happened. I wasn't aware if she ever forgotten me or got married to another."


Wen Chang was silent hearing Bai Yi's story. He got up and turned his back to Bai Yi. "My mother never married because her heart only belonged to my father. She never revealed to me who he was, she only told me that my father was a good man from a great noble family. She really believed in having a future with him, only to have her hopes crushed. She greatly suffered when she found out that he married another. I grew up looking up to her, she gave me the greatest example to live by. I admired all her qualities above all her loyalty and pride. Before she died, she gave me a token that my father gave her. I don't know why she did this before dying, maybe she had hope that I will meet him in the future."



"What was the token?" Bai Yi asked Wen Chang.


"Please wait here I will go and get it." Wen Chang left the terrace to look for her mother's token.


Moments later Wen Chang returned where Bai Yi was. He was holding a small wooden box. "Here is the token" Wen Chang opened the box and handed to Bai Yi a hair pin. It was a silver fox hair pin.



Bai Yi eyes widen, as tears fell down his face. It was the silver fox hair pin that he gave her when they declared their feelings to each other. Bai Yi clenched his hand and held the hair pin to his heart. "Xibu, my love, forgive me for coming too late." Bai Yi taught.


"I gave this hairpin to your mother when we were aiding an orphanage near the town in Xinzhou village. They were taking in orphan children from the war. I stopped by a store and saw this hairpin and secretly bought it for her. Being from a noble status, she never fancied jewelry, but she loved the hairpin because it reminded her of me. When we finished our work at the orphanage, on our way back to town, I placed the hairpin to her head. It was a special day for us. It was the first time that we said to each other 'I love you'. From that day forward we cherished every moment we spend together."


Wen Chang was stunned hearing Bai Yi confessing their story. "My mother seldom talked about her special moments she shared with my father. However she did mentioned to me how she got this hairpin. The hairpin was a symbol of his love for her. So is true then that you are..."


Bai Yi cut him off "I'm terribly sorry for all the pain that I caused her with my absence. I wasn't aware of your existence Wen Chang. If I would have known, things would have been different. I truly came back many times and look for her. Every time I came, I received a different answer from her servants. I was young back then, but I truly loved your mother. I didn't want to marry another, but I was forced to do it for peace keeping. My father found out about my fixation of coming back here repeatedly that ended up with a confrontation. By that time, my wife had given birth to our daughter and my father wanted me to take responsibilities at Qing Qui, so my recurrent visits diminished over time. Numerous times I wrote her letters but never received an answer from her."


"She burned all your letters. One night when I was a cub, I saw her doing it. She was crying. When I saw her pain, I asked her what was wrong, she quickly wiped her tears away and gave me a smile and hugged me tight. She was strong woman; putting me above all else. She never gave me a chance to question her about you. She will quickly change the subject or make out a distraction for me to focus on. So I grew up knowing that she will never divulge my father's identity to me. She had her reasons, and I simply respected her reasons."


"I guess she resented me." Bai Yi said to Wen Chang.


"She never resented you. She died loving you." Wen Chang reassured him.


Bai Yi handed back the hairpin to Wen Chang. "Would you ever forgive me Wen Chang?"


"I'm sure that's what my mother would expect of me to do." Wen Chang gave Bai Yi a small smile.


Bai Yi held his hand to Wen Chang, but Wen Chang abruptly embraced him. Bai Yi started to cry inconsolably on Wen Chang's embrace. He felt a heavy weight coming off him. His repressed emotions were coming out: fear, grief, anger, shame, bitterness, guilt, remorse. All of them were disappearing as layers were coming off his chest.


Wen Chang was healing him thru his embrace. The power of forgiveness.


"To be wrong is nothing, unless you continue to remember it" Wen Chang whispered these words to Bai Yi. 


Bai Yi simply hugged him in return.

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