Chapter 2: Not Ready!

Feng Jiu felt asleep when she could not cry no more. Her face stained with tears. It was a gloomy scene.


In the course of time, she spends six months cooped up in her room in her fox form, with no desire to do anything, no will to eat, drink or live. She wanted to waste her body and beauty. Make herself less desirable. She was in her molting cycle. On top of that her severe depression was getting her family so worried. Her mother will come to her room to try to cheer her up with not success. Bai Yi was livid; he could not understand the reason for his precious daughter to be in this stage. Bai Zhi was trying his best to remain calm for the family. His precious granddaughter has lost her will to live, he needed to come up with something before it was too late.


"Bai Zhen, go and find high god Zhe Yan, tell him that we need him right away, it's an emergency." Bai Zhi commanded his son.


"Right away father" he kowtowed and left to the peach blossoms forest.


Back at Tai Chen Palace, Dong Hua was worried about Feng Jiu, he received news from his spies he had monitoring Qing Qui that their queen has not been seen for the past 6 months. He needs it to come up with a plan to get his little fox out of whatever condition she was in. He needed her to live. So, he planned to visit her at nighttime and enter her dreams.


Feng Jiu's mother visited Zhe Yan and Bai Zhen was surprised to see her on Zhe Yan's hut. He thought she also came to get Zhe Yan's help for Xiao Jiu.


"What is it Bai Zhen?" Zhe Yan asked.


"Father has summoned you; he wants you to see Xiao Jiu."


"Let's all go now." Zhe Yan said.


When they arrived at the fox den, they heard Bai Yi scolding Feng Jiu. Zhe Yan became angry at Bai Yi, he could not comprehend why he was scolding Feng Jiu not considering her condition. He was beginning to lose his temper, and Bai Zhen noticed. He tried to calm him down putting his hand over his shoulder.


"What is going on Bai Yi, why are you mad at Feng Jiu?" his wife asked him.


"Your daughter needs to get out of her room, this is not the proper way that a queen should behave. We have doted her too much, she needs to grow up, it is time that she takes on her duties. What will the elders say about this is she continues to be in this way?"


Bai Zhi heard all the commotion and stepped into Feng Jiu's room. She was still moping on her fox form afraid of her father's wrath. When he saw his precious granddaughter, he just picked her up in his arms.


"Xiao Jiu, grand pa' will not let anyone hurt you okay?" Bai Zhi was reassuring her.


"We all need to calm down for Feng Jiu's sake, I was called here to find a solution not to participate in an argument." Zhe Yan finally spoke, retaining his anger.


Feng Jiu jumped from Bai Zhi arms to Zhe Yan's arms, she knew he could comfort her. Feng Jiu's mother was watching in silence how her daughter naturally felt comfortable going to Zhe Yan. She yelped at him looking at him with sad eyes. Zhe Yan's anger disappeared when Feng Jiu jumped into his arms. He hugged her to his chest. "Kittling what's going on with you? Look at how fragile you are!" Feng Jiu eyes were teary.


Bai Yi stormed out of her room frustrated. Leaving everyone looking at each other.


"Now Feng Jiu, would you like to spend some time at the peach blossoms forest to recuperate?" Bai Zhi asked her.


She nodded yelping. "Then is settled, Zhe Yan please take care of our precious Feng Jiu for 3 months until she could come back so she can start taking on her duties, I will be helping her out until she can manage by herself. Is that a deal Xiao Jiu?" Feng Jiu yelped back at her grandfather. He smiled at her, he loved her so much.


"Bai Zhen please help me pack some of Feng Jiu's things so she can stay with us for a while"



"Of course." Bai Zhen went thru Feng Jiu's things but thinking about the whole scene, he was pensive looking at Zhe Yan demeanor.


All settled in Zhe Yan's hut, Feng Jiu turned back to her human form and was lost at the beauty of the peach blossoms orchard. Her mind was more at ease. She knew she needed to comply with her father's request, but she could not understand why he was being so rough with her. She was not a little girl any more to be scolded the way he did. But some part of her understood that she could not escape her responsibilities any longer. She just needed time to figure out things.



Feng Jiu was finally falling asleep. Her eyelids were heavily closing.


"It must be Zhe Yan's tea." She finally gave in and closed her eyes. She felt falling deeply asleep. Zhe Yan was watching her from the door to make sure she was soundly asleep before retiring for the night. He tucked her in her blanket like he always did every time she stayed with him.


Zhe Yan could not helped to see Feng Jiu's beautiful face, her breaths were even, she was sounded asleep. "Silly girl, you have some growing up to do" Zhe Yan kissed her forehead and left her room.


Feng Jiu started dreaming. She found herself at heaven's gate, she wanted to enter but was not allowed in by the gate guards. Feeling frustrated, she started to argue with them, seeing that they would not allow her to enter, when she was about to leave, there was a familiar voice calling her name: "Jiu'er"


She recognized that voice, it was Dijun calling her. "Dijun?"


"Jiu'er, why are you here?"


"Dijun I needed to see you. I feel tired"


"Why are you tired? Are you sick?" Dijun asked


"Dijun, my heart hurts so much, I can't take this anymore. I do not feel like I can fulfill my role as Qing Qui's ruler. Dijun I'm scared" Feng Jiu pouted.


Dong Hua always loved her pouting face. He was gazing her with a soft expression, he took Feng Jiu's hand and place it on his, then he conjured a bench so they can sit down and looking at her he softly smiled saying: "Jiu'er you are still young and have a long life ahead of you. Is understandable to feel scared when you are entering a new phase in your life. Being a ruler is not an easy task. It requires compromise, discipline, wisdom, determination, abnegation, knowledge among other qualities but above all it will require your selfishness to serve your people. A good ruler is a servant.


"A servant? I thought rulers are made to be served." She was perplexed.


"Jiu'er, many rulers forget their most important role as to why they were chosen in the first place. People's trust should be treasured since they are placing their lives in the hand of their rulers. Every decision you make as a queen not only will affect you, but it will reflect on your kingdom. To gain power it means that great responsibilities need to be fulfill first. It comes with it. I am sure you already knew that. Why are so afraid?"


"Dijun, I'm afraid I would bring shame to Qing Qui with my... immature actions" She lowered her head to avoid Dijun's eyes.


"Jiu'er why do you think less of yourself? Are you saying that your grandfather made a mistake to pass the kingdom to you?"


She could not face him, her cheeks were flushed, she looked away with teary eyes.


"Jiu'er, I have lived a long life, and I have seen many rulers in my long existence, I believe in you Jiu'er you are a strong determined young woman and I'm pretty sure you hate to lose face in front others hmm?"


"You really think so Dijun?



He loved her innocence, he could not resist her face, so he lifts his hand and caress her cheek, wiping her tears away while smiling at her, "I do know so Jiu'er"


That was all the confidence that she needed to focus on the road ahead.


"Thank you Dijun for your trust in me. I will make sure that I will gain all the qualities that I'm lacking to become a great ruler!" She gave him a beautiful smile.


"That's my little fox!" Dijun held her chin and caressed her nose.


She wanted to hug him, but she knew that it will be too much for her to bear. Her smile disappeared and her eyes became teary again, but she held her tears putting a forced smile on her lips. Feng Jiu wanted to tell Dijun how much she misses him but decided not to. Dijun sensed her sadness and knew the reason behind it so he approaches her with caution. He did not want to act coldly towards her and destroy her newly gained confidence. So, he stared at her beautiful face and slowly embraced her in his arms and kissed her forehead, which took Feng Jiu by surprise.


Feng Jiu looking up to his face, hesitant decided to speak: "Dijun, I understand why you chose to sacrifice your love life. You did it for the sake of peace. I understand that we.... cannot be.... more than what we would desire to be. But before you go, I just want to know if you ever felt something towards me, if you ever loved me or have me in your heart." Feng Jiu lowered her head again, she felt embarrassed about being so straightforward now, but she needed to know.


Dijun was lost of words, although he did not want to give her false hopes but could not deny that he really cared for her. So tenderly he took her chin and raised her face so she can face him and told her: "Jiu'er you are the only person in the universe who has come this close to me. I wanted to experience a relationship with you in the mortal realm because I care too much for you and I am so sorry that I cannot give you what you deserve. You are so special to me and there is only you in my heart and you will remain there until I pass to the realm of nothingness. You have a long life ahead of you and I wish for you to live, to fulfill the promise that you made me on the Roushi River. Live Feng Jiu and live well. Can you do that for me?"


"Dijun, I promise I will live for you." And she hugged him by his waist. She was so bold, Dijun loved that about her. So instead of breaking her hug, he returned her embrace. They stayed like that for a long time, savoring the moment before Dijun kissed her forehead again and lowering his face to see hers told her: "Go my little fox."



Feng Jiu woke up with tears in her eyes, she was hoping that it was not a dream, but knew what she needed to do. "Even in my dreams he sends me away." Feng Jiu long-sighed.


She determined to live just like Dijun requested her, even if she could not be with him the way that she wanted. She knew his heart was hers, and that strengthen her fortitude to gain the confidence she needed to take on her duties. She wiped her tears away, got up and went to the kitchen to cook her uncles some breakfast. Her tummy growled; her hunger returned. Her attitude towards life, changed. She seemed to be in a better mood.


Dijun was watching her from a distance from an invisible barrier, he knew his little fox needed him. It was a bittersweet moment for him to go away from her after a long time of not seeing her. So, he memorized all her features, and her scent, and disappeared from the peach blossoms forest in a purple mist.


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