In order to be free from suffering-and therefore to be able to give abundantly to others-one must endeavor to love oneself abundantly to connect a person to their own heart and the hearts of all other beings without exception. Conquer your fears, love freely and enjoy your ascent to the highest mountain.

________________________________________________________________________________

Morning time at Bihai Cangling...

Dong Hua sensed Feng Jiu waking up. "You are awake, did you sleep well?"

Feng Jiu flutter her eyes and saw her husband ethereal face next to her. Her heart skips a beat seeing his handsome looks so close. It altered her senses. She managed to calm down then she tilted her head to her side and asked him "Who are you?"

Dong Hua looked at his little fox confused. "You don't remember me? Do you know who you are then?"

"I'm Qing Qui Bai Feng Jiu" She replied to him.

"So, you don't know me then? Look carefully again, who am I?" Dong Hua asked her again.

"I don't remember." Feng Jiu lowered her voice.

Dong Hua was not sure if she was feeling okay, he was getting alarmed but decided to put his master trickster acts to the test. "Hmm, looks like you lost your memories. Too bad..."

"Too bad what?" Feng Jiu curiously asked.

"I initially planned to have a sensuous bath together, but I think I better postpone it since you don't remember me at all. That is too bad." Dong Hua tisked. He got up from the bed and before he could walk away, Feng Jiu asked him "Huh, what? A bath?"

"After last night, I never thought that you completely forgotten about me and don't recognize me at all." Dong Hua seriously said.

Feng Jiu quickly jump out of bed "Oh, wait a minute, where are you going?" She grabbed Dong Hua's arm.

"I am going to look for your mother and ask her to take you back to Qing Qui."

"Then we are not going to take a bath together anymore?"

"Since you don't remember me, we can forget about it."

"Actually, I think I remember now. I'm Bai Feng Jiu and you're Dong Hua Dijun"

"Oh, why force yourself?"

Her tiny arms strongly locked on his frame not letting him go. "I seem to remember it now."

Dong Hua internally smiled. "Oh? What do you remember?"

"You seem to be my husband Dong Hua Dijun"

"Seem to be?" Dong Hua teasingly asked.

"I mean you're my husband Dong Hua Dijun and I'm your wife, Jiu'er, your little fox" Feng Jiu embarrassedly said.

Dong Hua turned around and flicked his finger on her forehead. "Ouch so painful, I will not trick you again." Feng Jiu said while rubbing her forehead.

"There is still a next time?" Dong Hua raised his eyebrow.

"There is no next time. Does your words earlier count?"

"Which ones?" Dong Hua found her face cute but didn't caved in.

"About the sensuous bath"

"If you are done playing games with me then we can proceed with our bath. You still have work to do before we go back to Qing Qui."

"Okay." She hurried up but noticed he wasn't following her. "You're not coming?"

"I'll be right there; you go ahead first." He laughed at his little fox tricks.

Feng Jiu soaked in the bath that Dong Hua prepared for her. The waters contain healing properties. She needs to relax for her ascension trial. Dong Hua wanted to ease her mind.

"Feeling better little fox?" Dong Hua asked her.

"I will feel better if you join me." She extended her hand to him.

Dong Hua smiled at his wife "Your wish is my command my empress." Dong Hua disrobed and got in the water with Feng Jiu. They were relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Feng Jiu was in deep thought and got quiet. Dong Hua sensed her abrupt mood change. "Jiu'er, are you okay?"

"Physically I feel fine, mentally I feel drained. I guess I'm worrying too much about my ascension trial."

"Come here my love." Dong Hua open his arms and Feng Jiu placed her back in between his legs. He began massaging her meridian points to help her relax. "That feels so good."

"You like that?"

"Very much. You have magical hands." Dong Hua smiled at her remark.

"Do you remember the mental exercise we did back at Tai Chen garden during your training for your Weapon Hiding Ceremony?"

"Yes, I do"

"I've asked Mo Yan to do a meditation exercise with you."

"Why not you?"

"I need to meditate too little fox and we need to focus without any distractions."

"Will you be with us?"

"No. Mo Yan will be with you while I will be in a different place. I will not leave Bihai Cangling so don't worry my love, I'll be around. Mo Yan was your teacher at Kun Lun, he will help you get rid off any suppressed feelings or stress."

"But I love the way you help me with my stress." Feng Jiu innocently said.

"Little fox now is not the time for another passionate tryst." Dong Hua warned her sensing her intentions.

Feng Jiu turned her body around and swiftly position herself on top of him. "Oh no husband, now is the perfect time." She seductively said to him. She placed herself on top of his erected mount and entered him gradually. Dong Hua skin prickled with goose pumps. Magic began to run when they connected. She began thrusting slowly and gently. Dong Hua's eyes are burning with wild eagerness, his breathing is now ragged, matching Feng Jiu's. Dong Hua lifts his pelvis for her to come down, bouncing her back up. They pick up the rhythm... up, down, up, down... over and over... lavishing each other. Between their panting breaths, their moaning's, the deep down, brimming fullness... the vehement sensation pulsing through Feng Jiu that was building quickly. She opened her eyes to watch him, their eyes locked... Feng Jiu saw the wonder of the man she adores "He's mine, and I'm his" Feng Jiu thought, weighted with concrete, over the edge, as she climax around him...shouting incoherently. Dong Hua grabs her hips, and closing his eyes, tipping his head back, his jaw strained, releasing himself to her quietly. Feng Jiu collapse on to his chest, overwhelmed, somewhere between fantasy and reality, a place where there are no worries. Magic was pulsing from them as they looked at each other drunken with the ecstasy of pure love.

"You are getting bolder my wife." Dong Hua caressed her chin with his thumb.

"And you like it" She sweetly smiled at him.

"I adore you little fox, I'm so glad that you are mine." Dong Hua tenderly kissed her lips and rubbed his nose on her cheeks and neck. She was taking his kisses content. "Feel better now?" He asked.

"Much better now." Feng Jiu nodded.

"Wasn't last night enough for you hmm? I can't barely keep up with you." Dong Hua shamelessly smiled at Feng Jiu.

Feng Jiu look at him with so much devotion and dedication. She placed one hand on the side of his handsome face "Dong Hua, the deepest desire of my heart, if you really want to know, the one thing that I seek, the only thing I am longing for, my one and only dream, is that I want to sit in devotion loving you, cause I know you're really there next to me, and be changed by every moment that we share. To close my eyes and feel you around me showering me with your love. This is all I really want if you really want to know. Every time I feel your body next to mine, you turn me on. It is an inexplicable sensation that causes me to love you madly. My body craves your touch, your kisses, your warmth. The pleasure you make me feel when we connect, runs through my body like a stream of burning flame. My blood is heated by you when I smell your scent, and only you can quench this madness that my skin feels when you touch me and kiss me the way you do. No matter how many times we make love, every time it feels brand new to me. I want to please you and I do it with pouring all of my love in the act; knowing that I'm only yours and only you are mine. My heart, body, spirit, and soul belong to you. It is the best way that I can explain this to you."

"Jiu'er what did I do to deserve you? I can't comprehend why you fell in love with me. You are an amazing and an extraordinary woman. Giving yourself to me with no restrains and openly describing how our connection makes you feel is humbling for me to hear. The feeling is mutual. I can't live without you Jiu'er. You have changed me completely. Our desires are fueled by our imprinting. Your body naturally reacts to my scent because of the bond that we share. My body reacts the same way when you are around me. I have to restrain myself when other people are around us. My feral side wants to have you all the time and love you until we can't no more. You are so beautiful, but most of all is your pureness and innocence that breaks my will. You please me in ways that I never thought it was possible. Every small act that you do to the most intimate gesture to bring me pleasure, I treasure it. Because I know that is given with the outmost love and devotion to me. I have never experienced this kind of worship. That is why I adore you my empress, I won't function without you being by my side. We are attuned to each other that I will die if you die. That is why I need to be by your side and help you when you ascend. If anything happens to you Jiu'er I can't...."

"Shhhh my love, don't say it. Feng Jiu placed her hand on his lips. "Nothing is going to happen to me. I know it will be a painful experience, I will get hurt and I will do my best to endure it, but knowing that you will be next to me gives me the reassurance that I need to fight to live. Besides, I don't want anyone else claim what is already mine."

"Nobody will claim me. I'm only yours Jiu'er, I have always been yours and will always be yours. My heart, body, spirit, and soul belong only to you my little fox." He gave her a sweet kiss on her lips.

"Who would've thought that one day I will hear this from your lips Dong Hua. I still think that all of this is a dream, and if that is the case, I don't want to wake up ever."

"Is not a dream little fox. We belong together Jiu'er and it took me a long time to realize that. Now that we are together, I don't want us to be apart. I will spend the rest of my days loving you and making you happy. You are an undeserved gift from heaven. I will cherish you until I pass to nothingness, and after that I will find a way to come back to you and continue writing our love story for all times. You are my muse and my inspiration; your love is my turning page Jiu'er"

(AN: I used the lyrics from the song Turning Page as inspiration for this moment between Dong Hua and Feng Jiu. Dong Hua thru his journey of expressing his feelings to her is learning to describe his devoted love for his Jiu'er wholeheartedly; the song lyrics fit perfect for this scene in my story)

"I've waited thousands of years, but I'd wait a million more for you. Nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do. If I had only felt the warmth within your touch. If I had only seen how you smile when you blush. Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough. I would have known what I was living for all along. What I've been living for. Your love is my turning page, where only the sweetest words remain. Every kiss is a cursive line, every touch is a redefining phrase. I surrender who I've been for who you are. For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart. If I had only felt how it feels to be yours, I would have known what I've been living for all along, what I've been living for. Though we're tethered to the story we must tell, when I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well. With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas, like a feather, bringing kingdoms to their knees."

Their eyes were glazed with tears, but not of sadness but of the purest form of love for one another. "I love you so much Dong Hua"

"As I love you my little sweet fox" Dong Hua hugged her tight. "Let's finish our bath." They took their time bathing each other taking care of their needs. They enjoy these intimate moments that they can be free away from everyone and everything. Without pretending to hold propriety in front of others because of their status.

"Mo Yan is probably waiting for you and your mother already made breakfast."

Feng Jiu pouted at him. "Be a good girl Jiu'er, we all have time to continue what we started earlier."

"Promise me that you would."

"I promise" Dong Hua sweetly smile at her. "My insatiable little fox" he thought.

They got dressed and went to the kitchen. Breakfast was served.

"Look who decided to join us." Zhe Yan teasingly said. Her mother and Mo Yan smiled at them. Feng Jiu's face was scarlet red. She couldn't face them after their torrid night without any privacy.

"Xiao Jiu dear, please eat, you need your strength." Her mother teased her.

"Mother please." Feng Jiu embarrassedly said.

All of them ate in silence, they wouldn't dare to make any comments and risking their lives being on Dong Hua's home. Feng Jiu's mother smirked at them. She knew that they cleared their existing misunderstandings. She was glad to see them relaxed with each other. She began picking up the dishes.

"Mother let me help you." "No need Xiao Jiu. Zhe Yan offered already. Mo Yan is waiting for you."

"Right." Feng Jiu said. Dong Hua eyed her to go outside. She got up and went outside the mansion. Mo Yan was outside on a clearing near the boat deck. His back was facing her.

"Laoshi." Mo Yan turned around and simply smiled at her. "Are you ready Feng Jiu?"

She bowed to him "Yes laoshi."

"Good. Since you are aware of your situation, my intent is to help you focus before your trial. I want you to clear your mind of any distractions and focus on the scenery around you. I want you to hone your senses and connect with nature. I want you to focus on one thing: that to be free from suffering-and therefore to be able to give abundantly to others-one must endeavor to love oneself abundantly. I want you to rise above the circumstances of your past and define yourself by something other than your painful struggles and its hardened tone of defeat. We practice not to attain buddha nature, but to express it. I want you to build the confidence that no matter what happens around you, everything will fall into place and you will be in control of the circumstances. There is nothing we experience—from the simple act of eating to the complications of duty and relationships—that we cannot approach with the mindfulness and compassion we develop in our meditation. Every act, every breath, and every step can be practice and can help us to become more ourselves. The quality of our practice depends on its energy of mindfulness and concentration. I define mindfulness as the practice of being fully present and alive, body and mind united. Mindfulness is the energy that helps us to know what is going on in the present moment. It brings concentration. When mind and body come together, they produce our true presence. We become fully alive. Oneness of body and mind is the fruit of practice that you can get right away—you don't have to wait. I want you to reach that connection Feng Jiu, it will help you endure your ascension. Let us begin." Mo Yan instructed Feng Jiu to sit on a lotus position in front of him.

"Remember your breathing exercises Feng Jiu. I want you to clear your mind of all clutter, frustrations, regrets, fears, hurts, pain. You are safe here at Bihai Cangling. This is your home that you share with Dong Hua. We are here with you. I'm here to help you Feng Jiu. Don't build a wall, don't push me away, build a bridge." Feng Jiu was hearing Mo Yan's voice far away from her now. Her mind eye was fully opened.

"Where are you Feng Jiu?"

"I'm on a bridge."

"Good, now cross it."

Feng Jiu saw darkness waiting on the other side of the bridge. "I can't laoshi."

"Why not?"

"All I see is darkness, I'm afraid of the dark"

"Darkness is the absence of light. You are that light Feng Jiu. Your essence is pure light. You need to feel that you are that light to null the fear of it. Now bring the light to the other side." Feng Jiu strengthen her resolve and crossed the bridge.

"I crossed the bridge laoshi."

"Great work, now that you are on the other side of the bridge what do you see in front of you?"

"I see a narrow path that leads to a mountain"

"Follow the path Feng Jiu. Do not get distracted. Do not listen to other voices that aren't mine"

Feng Jiu followed the narrow path. She heard other voices telling her to walk away, to walk a different route, that she was lost, but Feng Jiu concentrated in reaching the end of the path. She found herself at the base of the mountain.

"Climb it Feng Jiu. Use all your strength and might. It will be a perilous climb, be careful"

Feng Jiu breathed in and gathered courage to climb the mountain. In the middle of the peak she began to feel tired and out of breath. Her legs were about to give out.

"Feng Jiu" she heard her name being called out. "Hush your anxieties, don't panic, and push past pain barriers. Tackle the challenge and avoid fear, isolation and the feeling of giving up when the physical aspect becomes difficult."

"You are almost there Feng Jiu, keep going" She mentally said to herself. Feng Jiu closed her eyes to calm herself. She knew she was in a difficult situation; her body was tired, and she needed to keep her mind sharp. It took an enormous amount of will to continue her ascent, finally she reached the top. A bright light encircled her and she became fully aware of who she was. She brought her mind back to her body, she felt her true presence, and became fully alive. She gasped and opened her eyes.

Mo Yan was seating in front of her serenely watching her "You are ready"