Dream POV
As I heard the soft snores coming from the sleeping boy in my arms, I turn off the tv and carry him to bed. Like you would do with a small child. I tiptoed silently to the bedroom laying him down softly and with ease. I changed him out of his jeans as quiet and soft as I could. I changed as well and laid down next to him. He was out, I don't even think a hurricane could wake him.
This would be the last night that I could hold him in my arms. The last night where I wouldn't sleep alone anymore. How could I do that? I don't know how me being without him would effect me. I knew it wouldn't be a positive feeling. I knew a lot of nights I would cry myself to sleep. I didn't have a good past with relationships. People cheated on me, left me, blamed me for things I never did. Made me feel worthless. The mental abuse I went through in the past has caused me to have trust issues. And I'd hate myself for not trusting George, but that's something I couldn't control.
I spooned my boyfriends and tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't. My thoughts were running too many circles around my mind for me to sleep. I needed to go home. I knew that. But it's not fair. I've loved George for so long. Now that he's finally mine, I have to leave? He is my everything, and I can't bring myself to leave.
Because if I leave, he might not come back.
Those words replayed in my mind for hours. I didn't want to think anymore, I just wanted it to be silent. I just wanted peace for a second. Where my brain wasn't tearing my heart to pieces. But for some reason that didn't happen. At least not until hours later. My mind seemed to have thought of all the things that could of gone wrong. It seemed tired. I was too. So I closed my eyes and went to sleep. Not a comfortable sleep, but a calm one. The only good thing about the last few hours was the fact George was in my arms. His soft snores kept me even the slightest bit happy. As I slowly drifted off I finally got my silence.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up to George trying to sneak out of my arms. I must of been holding on really tight as he hadn't seem to make any progress. I let go of him missing the warmth I was feeling on my chest and stomach. And the smell of his hair from his coconut shampoo. I stretch my arms as I slowly wake up.
"Good morning baby. How did you sleep?" He asked giving me a quick peck on the lips. I smile at him and decided not to tell him about the countless hours I stayed up thinking.
"I slept ok. I had you in my arms." I smile before I stand up. He had a saddened look on his face. I pulled him into a hug and kissed him on his head.
"Baby what's wrong?" I ask. He dug his head into my chest.
"I'm just going to miss you. I can't wake up in your arms anymore, you can't hold me anymore. I just don't want you to leave." His eyes were glossy and before I could see a tear fall he dug his head back into my chest. My heart broke. I guess we were thinking the same thing. I wanted to comfort him, but how could I do that if I couldn't do it for myself. But I couldn't stand seeing him like this.
"Oh baby. I'm going to miss you too. It hurts having to leave you so so much. But I think about the next time I will get to see you. I don't know when that is, but I just think that one day you will be in my arms again. We will talk everyday, even more than what we used to. And one day, I will see you at an airport again. We will hold each other again." I said in a soft tone still holding him close. We sat there for at least another 2 minutes before he pulled away. His eyes were puffy but there were no tears falling. My shirt stained with tears, but I didn't mind or even bring attention to it. He smiled at me and walked into the bathroom to get ready for the day. If only I could believe my own words.
As he got ready in the bathroom I pulled on the same clothes I wore when I first got here, we still had 5 hours tell the plane left, but it wasn't as much time as I wanted. Once George came out of the bathroom I did everything I needed to do tell I saw George making food in the kitchen.
"What are you making?" I ask. I pulled up behind him hugging his waist and digging my head into the crook of his neck. He smelt good.
"I am making omelets. Is bacon and cheese ok?" He asked. Still focused on cooking.
I smile in his neck and he shivered a little. "Yes that is perfect." I kiss his neck before walking over to the kitchen counter and sitting down. I knew he wasn't much of a cook, but I could tell he wanted to do this for me. So I let him.
"So right now it's 10 o'clock. I think it would be best to leave around 1:30. You didn't really bring anything so you won't have to do much there. Is that ok?" He stated.
I nodded my head and enjoyed the view. My boyfriend making me food on a sunny morning. The weather here had been nice the past two days which is nice. I look out the window to see the trees almost naked. The wind blowing the leaves into mini tornadoes on the sidewalks. The noise of cars outside and the omelet cooking on the stove. One day this would be my life. I couldn't wait.
When George was done cooking he put the omelet in front of me and one for him next to me. I dug in and it wasn't too bad. He definitely knew how to cook. He was good at it too. I just wondered why he didn't like it?
"Why don't you like cooking?" I asked. I wanted to know. He just shrugged before answering.
"I cooked a lot when I was younger so I learned how to do it, I guess it just got boring in a sense." He stated before continuing to eat. I sort of understood his meaning.
"Well you are very good at it." I smiled at him and he blushed a little as he continued his food. After I was done I washed the dishes before I sat next to him on the couch. He put his head on my shoulder and I rapped my arms around him.
I couldn't think of a better way to end this time with him other than cuddling. It was easy and didn't require anything other than me and him. But it still meant so much. We put Adventure Time on the tv and I pulled him close to me I spooned him and held him close. His hand rested on mine and our legs were tangled together.
The show played in the background but I wasn't focused on it. I was focused on George. He kept scooting around and seemed uncomfortable.
"Are you ok Georgie?" I ask. I loosen my grip on him allowing him to turn and face me.
"Ya, I guess I'm just thinking." He said sighing. He wasn't looking at me so I knew something was wrong. But what wasn't at the time? Sure right now we were together but soon we wouldn't be.
"About what?" I rub his back waiting for an answer from him.
"I don't know, just life sucks." He digs his head into the crook of my neck as I leave kisses all over him. His head, his face, his neck. Before I finally spoke up.
"I agree" That's all I said before I started humming. Nothing in particular just different beats and rhythms to make him feel better. I could feel the vibrations down my body and his. It was nice.
"Are you going to forget about me? Are you going to find someone new cause I'm not there?" George blurted out taking me of guard.
"Oh baby, I could never forget about you. You're my everything, no one can replace you. You are unforgettable." I smile at him and gave him a kiss. It was sweet. It wasn't like our other kisses. I wouldn't call it sad, but it just wasn't the same. But I still loved it anyways.
The time just seemed to speed up as 1:30 kept inching closer and closer. If I could stop it I would of. But that's not how life works. We stayed silent for most of our little time we had left. It was easier and we knew we would be able to talk to each other everyday when I went home. The touch was what we would miss. We wouldn't have each other anymore and that was why this was so hard.
I couldn't kiss him, hug him, hold him, do him. (Teehee) I would only have his voice. I just don't know if he would still want me even when I'm not here.
"When I go home, you promise to keep trying with us?" I ask. He pulls his head out from the crook of my neck and smiles.
"I promise" That's all I needed right now was his word. His promise.
When it finally reached 1:30 we got ready to go. Their wasn't much to do other than say goodbye to the apartment, but when we finally did we got in the car and drove off. It was a short drive and the whole way I held his hand. I knew this was going to be hard, but I could already feel the tears. We finally pulled up to the airport and hopped out. The airport was small and didn't have a lot of people in it. We did out best to stay under the raider and not get seen by people, but I really didn't care either. We walked in and went down a hall that wasn't to crowded to say our goodbyes.
"So this is goodbye" George says before I pull him into a hug.
"No, don't call it goodbye. Until we met again my love ok?" I say kissing his forehead. I could hear his quite sobs into my sweatshirt making me tear up too.
"Baby, I don't want you to g-go" George said between sobs. My heart was broken and I couldn't stand seeing him this way. I cause him so much pain, don't I?
"I'm sorry baby, I have to go. I love you so so much." I pulled him a way for a second to look at him. I smiled before pulling him back in. We stayed in the embrace for a few minutes witch ended up being 10 minutes. I checked the time to realize I had to go through security and everything so I had to go.
"Baby, I have to go now." I regretted saying those words. What if I chose to skip my flight? What if I never said anything? But I needed to go back home. My cat was there, and my family. I pulled away knowing that I would be leaving now. I pulled him back in for one final kiss. This one was perfect. Sweet, passionate, charming, warm, soft. It was everything. It lasted a while and by the time we pulled away saliva was dripping from our mouths. I wiped it off and pulled him in for a final hug.
As I was about to walk away I looked down at my sweatshirt to see more tears staining it. I smiled at the idea and I pulled it off handing it to him. He looked confused and then smiled at me. I started walking away and stopped for the last time to him saying
" Will you love me forever?" I smiled and turned around.
"Forever"
I look at him one last time taking in all the glory in front of me. I waved goodbye for a final time before I headed off to the plane. Tears staining my tan skin witch I chose to ignore.
Georges POV
A he walked away and turned in his ticket I knew the way I was feeling right now would just get worse. It's been seconds and the realization of not having him with me anymore was already starting to hurt. Sure I haven't even seen him before a few days ago, but how could you go back after what we had? I just hope that our love works over oceans too. I don't know what I would do if it didn't.
After a few moments of collecting my self and slowing down the tears I ran to the car. I knew I would be upset again and I just hoped I wouldn't embarrass my self in front of the whole airport. When I finally made it to the car I took a deep breath and controlled myself. I needed to calm down and not overreact. Especially because I was driving. I pulled out my phone as I heard a ding come from it. I checked my phone to see a message from Dream.
Dream- I miss you already <3
I smiled and felt my eyes start to water again. God I'm such a baby.
George- I miss you too. Please text me when you make it back to Florida. I love you.
Dream- I love you too
I sighed and tossed my phone to the seat next to me. I laid my head on the steering wheel debating weather to go back home or not. Where else would I go? I just didn't want to go there. After another few minutes of my mind wandering in it's own dark space I knew exactly where to go. I collected myself and focused on the road and started driving to my destination.
I drove in silence for the 20 minute drive. I took the back roads as I liked the sharp turns and woods. Also the fact the speed limit was a lot lower than main roads and less crowded too. Driving was great for clearing my mind, but I wasn't a big fan of driving in the first place. The idea of being trapped in a car going 60 km an hour is scary as hell. So I only drove when I needed to. I felt the need to now.
When I pulled into the parking lot I hopped out and made the trek into the woods. The wind was blowing the cold air into my face. It was refreshing. In the distance I spot the shack and I practically ran over to it. The comfort this place gave me was crazy. A small shed in the middle of the woods behind my schools sport center. This place saved me from so many beatings. Possibly death. But the reason I came here wasn't for the memory's in the old past. For the ones in the new. The memory's with Dream.
Just lying on the bed comforted under old blankets. His fingers running through my chocolate hair and up my back. His touch I so solemnly craved. I felt stupid for letting myself get so attached to this point where I felt I couldn't live without him. But somehow I did. I fell into his trap. But I wouldn't want to escape if I could. I just pray this boy the love of my life never breaks my heart. Because I don't know what I would do if he did.
I laid there for hours trying to convince myself we were in the exact same position we were yesterday. Him holding me close his warm touch comforting me for an hour. Making all the bad memory's I associated with this place become lost in all the unimportant ones.
When I finally got up it was almost dark. I decided to just head home to mentally exhausted to do anything else. Dream still had a few more hours until he landed. But my anxiety was telling me he wasn't going to land. The plane crashed. He died. He's not making it back to Florida.
I tried to block out the thoughts, but they were to controlling. I decided to text him. I pulled out my phone asking if he was ok. I didn't get an answer right away which didn't help the situation. My breathing was becoming some what irregular now and I felt my hands starting to get clampy.
After a few minutes of not getting a text back my mind was telling me he crashed. That he was dead and I couldn't get the thoughts out of my head. I started to feel light headed as I wasn't getting enough air into my lungs. My vision becoming blurry from the tears. I sat down trying to breath. I imagined Dream being there. Him telling me to breath in and out. The story he told me. His touch his hand on mine. Him being here.
After a few minutes my breathing slowed down. My vision was better and I felt I could breath again. I sat for a minute still trying to convince myself he was ok. But I couldn't help but wonder what if? My thoughts come to an end as I hear a ding com from my phone. I practically sprint over to see a message on my phone. It's not Dream.
Sapnap- Hey how are you doing?
It wasn't who I wanted it to be. I needed to know Dream was ok. But Sapnaps distraction wouldn't be the worst thing.
George- I'm doing ok. But Dream didn't respond to my text so I'm a little worried.
Sapnap- He is fine. He is most likely taking a nap. He will land in about 4 hours. Until then please get some sleep and eat. He will respond back to you soon. Love you I'm always here for you!
I felt a little better after reading that. He was probably right and it was stupid for me to react like that. I'm just a baby. He is fine. He is sleeping. He will text me in a few hours when he lands. But I still was a little anxious about the whole thing.
George- I miss him Sap. I don't know how I'm going to do this without him here with me.
Sapnap- I know you miss him. But you guys will be ok. You guys will be able to talk everyday for hours and hours. You guys are best friends and boyfriends you guys can do anything. Including long distance. I know it hurts and it's hard right now, but it gets easier.
Sapnap- Plus you got me : )
George- Like that means anything :I
Sapnap- Whatever I know you love me
George- Sure Sapnap
George- But seriously thank you
Sapnap- Of course man! Seriously if you need anything I'm here.
I was lucky to have Sapnap in my life. He somehow was able to deal with both me and Dream. He might of acted tough and mean onstream, but he is just a big softy. And a great friend.
I shut off my phone and decided to do something to take my mind off of Dream. I didn't have the appetite to eat nor did I want to sleep. So I turned on the tv and watched Adventure Time. I cuddled into the couch with a warm weighted blanket. But for some reason I still felt cold and alone. I was ok for now. I wasn't always going to be, but for now my mind wasn't thinking so bad anymore. And I was ok being alone.
3 hours later
I was now in my bed bawling my eyes out. To sum it up I was having a mental breakdown. I felt so alone without him. I couldn't stand not having him with me. Comforting me and holding me close to him. Just talking to him would be nice. My emotions were all over the place I was doing fine a half an hour ago but then I walked into the bedroom to use the bathroom and bam. I was sad. Then I was looking at my PC remembering when I HAD to kick him out and buy a plane ticket for him. He would still be here if it wasn't for me. Now I'm laying on my bed crying into his sweatshirt because the smell of him is fading.
I cried into the sweatshirt leaving stains in the hoodie with some snot staining it too. I knew I would be pissed of at myself for this later but I couldn't care now. I knew in this moment I did the thing I never thought I could. I fell so in love with someone to the point their happiness means more than my life. I fell in love with someone's whole self.
I heard a ding from my nightstand tossing around to find a text from him. From my everything.
Dream- Hi baby I'm sorry for not responding sooner. I fell asleep on the plane. I'm doing ok other than missing you. I will be landing in about a half an hour. I will text you but please go to bed it's getting late there. I love you!
George- Ok that's good. I'm really missing you. It's already so hard without you here. This is going to be harder than I thought. When you wake up tomorrow can you call me? I love you
Dream- I'm sorry my love, I will call you in the morning. It is only around 6 in Florida right now so first thing when I wake up I will call. I love you so much!
I smiled at the fact he was ok. I turned off the light and pulled myself under the blanket. I was cold and alone, but he was ok. So I suppose I was too.
A/N
Hey everyone, hope you are doing well! This is supposed to be a sad chapter but I got really lazy like halfway through this so hopefully it's sad enough for you!! Thank you guys so much for almost 3k reads!! Also love reading your comments so leave them if you want. And I will probably respond to questions if you have any! I think I'm like 2/3 way done with this but it depends on how much detail I go into with the rest of it. Anyways have a good night/day and stay healthy please!!
Also I wasn't sure if I should of put a TW on the panic attack since it wasn't really into detail. But if you want me to let me know.