Dream POV
"George?"
The boy I loved stood right in front of me. Why was he here? What's going on? I didn't know what to feel. When he walked into my view all I wanted to do was go up and kiss him. Hold him in my arms and never let go. But I hadn't talked to him in months and wouldn't be surprised if he hated me.
After a moment of processing George in front of me I stare into his eyes, trying to read him. I could see the pain, the hate. I left him because I thought it was best at the time but I'm not sure it was. It's to late though. I figured he would despise me and never want to see me again. But here he was standing at my doorstep.
We both stood just staring at each other for what felt like hours. He looked good. A lot better than me. Maybe I was right, maybe he moved on. Me on the other hand, I was a wreck. I had no energy. I wished I could go to sleep and never wake up. But I always did. Whether it was a call from Sapnap or a nightmare, I always woke up hating the thought of living. Living without him.
I pushed him away because I let my thoughts over run my feelings. I don't know what's right anymore, and I don't care enough to find out. I didn't want to have to deal with the guilt I would feel from seeing him again. But here he was.
"Lets go inside." Sapnap broke the silence bringing our eyes off one another. Neither of us were planning to talk at the moment so I moved out of the way and they both walked in.
I could tell George was incredibly nervous, he was fidgeting with his hands and shaking a little. I was still in shock and a little frustrated. I had no idea they were coming and my house looks really bad. Old food sat on the counter and clothes covered my bedroom floor. Trash was all over the place and it didn't have a pleasant smell.
I was embarrassed as I saw both of them look around. Sapnap didn't seem to bothered by it and George just felt bad. I didn't know where to begin with this. I was surprised to be seeing them here especially during a time where I felt like shit. I looked like it too.
Sapnap left the room to go grab there suitcases leaving me and George in the living room. Neither of us said anything, we just looked at each other. I examined him reading his movements. I knew he was nervous, but there was another emotion there and I couldn't quiet put my finger on it. He was just looking at me. He looked disappointed in me. I was about to ask before Sapnap walked back in.
"So do you have extra rooms for us?" Sapnap asked pulling my focus of George and onto him.
"Ya I'll show you" I lead Sapnap up the stairs to two different bedrooms. I let Sapnap pick his choice and I put Georges suitcase in his room. I walked into Sapnaps room to have a talk with him.
"What the hell are you doing here? What's George doing here?" My voice was raised a little but I wasn't yelling.
"Keep your voice down. I invited George down here tell after New Years. You two need to work this out. I'm not losing you guys, and you guys aren't loosing each other." His voice was serious.
"Also I'm thinking of moving in here, so think about it." He said going back to a more playful tone. I scoffed before sitting down next to me.
"Sap he hates me. I ghosted him and gave up on him. I know he is mad." Sapnap raised an eyebrow curiously.
"How could you know that? You haven't talked in months." Sapnap was trying to reassure me. He didn't know about the texts George sent me everyday.
"I haven't talked to him, but he talked to me." He looked even more confused so I pulled up my phone showing him our messages. I told him to start from the top. So he did and I knew it would take to long to read them, I reread them all the time. Especially the ones he blames me. I decided to walk downstairs, I knew it would be awkward but it's better than leaving George alone. I sat on the opposite end of the couch, away from him. I didn't have my phone and he noticed so he got off of his. After about 3 minutes of awkward silence the tension in the room could be cut with a knife and we both noticed it.
"Can we watch a movie?" George spoke up catching me off guard. I nod my head and hand him the remote. He looks at it funny before sighing.
"I don't know how to work it." He let out an embarrassed giggle. I took it from his hand and turned it on.
"What do you want to watch?" I asked. The conversation was incredibly awkward. I wish Sapnap would come down sooner.
"Um I don't care, we can just see what's on." He says looking down at his feet. I rubbed the back of my neck before scrolling through the channels. Nothing I recognized was on or seemed good. Until I hit the movie Hercules. I turned it on without thinking. George looked at what was playing and blushed. I realized this was the movie we watched on our last night. The night I asked him to be m boyfriend.
"We can change it if you want-"
"No, it's fine" He smiled at me then looked back over at the movie. I was trying my hardest to focus on the movie, but I couldn't. I was thinking back to that day. It was perfect. We could of been doing that today if I didn't fuck it up. I couldn't focus on the movie at all. I wanted to look at him. Take in his face and voice that I missed so much over the past two months. I missed him.
"I missed you" I blurted out. It was low and soft barely audible. But he heard me. He just looked at me and scoffed.
"Ya right" He rolled his eyes and continued watching the movie. I wanted to talk to him about it, but it was only fair to do it on his terms. Not mine. I wasn't really ready to talk, I don't think I would ever be. But this conversation needed to happen whether I wanted it to or not.
George POV
My mind was going crazy. He missed me? Those words angered me. If he really did why did he do this? Why did he leave me? I didn't believe him. I couldn't let myself. Because if I believed him it would give me hope. The last thing I needed.
I was looking at the movie but I wasn't really focused on it. I was just thinking. Thinking about why the hell I agreed to go here. Am I stupid? I haven't talked to him in months. I should of known we wouldn't be all buddy buddy like we used too. We can barely even have a proper conversation without it becoming extremely awkward. Where is Sapnap? He was supposed to keep us from getting awkward. Now he is probably dosed off or talking to some friend of his.
I could feel Dreams eyes on me. I decide not to look at him because that would make it more awkward. But I wanted to look at him too. I don't care anymore. We probably wouldn't even be friends after this anymore so I could give two shits about embarrassing myself or him. I look over at him and his eyes are still on me. I could see his cheeks get red and could feel mine get red too. But I kept eye contact. I focused on his face. His freckles spotted over his face faded from the last time I saw him. His eyes were green but the sparkle wasn't there. I could tell he still looked at me like always. Like I was perfect, it made me smile a little, but I noticed the pain too. I couldn't tell what pain. But he was in pain. I hated seeing it and the smile on my face faded. I looked away focusing on the movie again. Somehow we were already half an hour in and Sapnap was still upstairs. I couldn't stand the tension so I decided to head up to my room.
"Hey I'm kind of tired, which room is mine?"
"The first one on the right." I nod my head walking up the stairs. When he was speaking I wasn't really focused. I walked up and into the first room on the left. I think that's what he said anyways. I walked into a messy room. Filled with clothes on the floor and a mess. It smelled bad and I figured I walked into the wrong one. This was probably Dreams room. I never saw him like this. He never seemed like the kind to have messy rooms like this. When he bought the house a few weeks after he showed me the room. All the furniture was the same, but it was clean. Nothing like it is now. I was pulled out of my thoughts to the opening of a door.
"I said on the right, not the left." He was leaning against the door frame. He wasn't amused and looked aggravated at my actions. I flush red embarrassed as I walk out of the room. I was annoyed with his attitude and normally wouldn't say anything but a rage took over me.
"Sorry, but you should really clean your room. It's disgusting in there." I had a serious tone which he definitely noticed.
"Ya whatever" He rolled his eyes before closing the door on my face. I roll my eyes before walking into the right room. I was frustrated with him and with myself. I shouldn't of come. I feel when I leave again I'm going to go back to step one. I was slowly letting myself heal from the pain he caused when he left. I still wasn't expecting the truth and I though going here would make that happen, but even if it does I'm going to be more broken then the first time around.
I wouldn't be able to stay this whole trip. The stress and anxiety I was feeling would cause me more pain and problems then if I was at home. Dream knew my vulnerable side, but Sapnap didn't. He knew something went down but he never experienced it. I didn't want to show either of them how I was feeling. I wanted them to think I'm ok. I don't need pity I need space.
I laid down on my bed curling into a ball under the blanket. I didn't have the energy to cry or sob. So tears just rolled down. I was good at crying silently. It was something I was able to do. I learned at a young age because if I didn't I would get punished for it. It was something I got used to. I don't mind crying anymore, in a way it's a comfort for me. My emotions used to pushed down until I let all of them out at once, but once Dream got here I learned how to understand them and express them when they come.
I heard a knock on the door and saw Sapnap standing there. He had a sad smile on his face. If only the tear didn't show on my face. Sapnap closed the door and hopped in the bed with me. He pulled me into a hug and he held me close. We didn't speak and I wasn't holding in the sobs anymore. I hadn't seen Sapnap before in my life and I was so focused on seeing Dream I forgot I was seeing him too. I was glad he was here with me. He was my best friend and he knew how to calm me down almost better than Dream does.
Dream POV
I decided to leave my room and see what they wanted for dinner. I knocked on Sapnaps door and got no answer. I opened it and he wasn't in there. I checked downstairs really fast and he was no were. I realized he was probably in Georges room. I was about to knock and I heard quiet sobs coming from in the room. I slowly opened the door to see Sapnap comforting George. George didn't notice me and Sapnap just gave me a quick reassuring smile saying 'I've got him'. I was a little jealous that Sapnap was comforting him and not me. I wanted to be helping him, but of course this was my fault he was like that in the first place. I decided to just text Sapnap what he wanted for dinner when I realized he still had my phone. I didn't want to interrupt them, but I needed it to order food and see what they wanted.
I knocked on the door and I heard his sobs stop.
"Come in" Sapnap yelled. I opened the door and George was lying on Sapnaps arm. He didn't even look at me when I came in. His eyes were puffy and he was just looking at the bed sheets. He was playing with the hem of his sweatshirt. Sapnap cleared his throat very obnoxiously pulling my eyes off of him.
"I just wanted to know what you guys want for dinner. I can order something?" I was leaning on the door way, I didn't really feel comfortable entering the room.
"I'm good with like pizza or something." Sapnap commented. I looked at George and wasn't really expecting much of an answer from him.
"I'm not hungry" George commented. I wanted to argue because I knew that was a lie. The last time he ate was hours ago. But I didn't want to get into an argument about it because he would win. I nod my head and leave the room.
I was worried about George. I always thought me leaving would be best for him. But I don't think it was. I was so stupid for it. I finally had someone who really loved me and I threw it away. I beat myself up for it everyday. I still get nightmares about him. Each time he tells me he hates me and he doesn't love me. I don't know what to believe anymore. he told me he hates me, and he told me he loves me. It confuses me because how does that work?
I ordered the food then laid down on the couch. I was looking around realizing how messy the house really was. I decided to clean up a little. I picked up the trash and did the dishes. I wiped down the counter and cleaned up the table before I was tired. I didn't really have much energy anymore. Some days I got zero sleep and others I slept almost the whole day. I didn't want to do anything with my life anymore. I hadn't really talked to anyone other than Sapnap and my Mom occasionally. I felt so alone, but I deserved it. I cause George pain, so why shouldn't I feel it too.
The ding of the doorbell pulled me out of my thoughts. I texted Sapnap letting him know the food was here. I put the pizza down on the counter and pulled a slice out. Sapnap walked down the stairs a few minutes later. George was probably still in his room. I decided to put a slice on a plate and bring it up to him.
I knocked on the door waiting for them to let me in. I didn't hear one, but I walked in anyways.
"Hey I know you said you weren't hungry but I brought you a slice." He didn't turn around to look at me so I placed in on the night stand. I was about to walk out and he mumbled something but I heard it.
"Thanks" I smiled and closed the door. Sapnap was on the couch definitely making himself at home. His feet were up on the couch and he turned the tv onto some sort of sports game. It looked like football but I was to lazy to see who was playing. I brought my plate over and sat next to him.
"How's George doing?" I ask. He turned to face me.
"I think you need to find that out yourself." He said paying attention to the game again. I rolled my eyes, but I knew he was right. I didn't know what to say to George though. If I apologized he could get mad. If I didn't he would defiantly be mad. Either way it would end with him yelling or crying or both. But that was inevitable. The difference would be if we were ok again. And there was only a 1 in 75 trillion chance to get it right.
Heyy everyone! Hope you are doing well. I've been doing pretty good with updates recently. Kind of proud ngl. Hope you guys have been enjoying it and thank you all for the reads and votes!! I hope you all have a good day/night and stay healthy pls!!
Also do you guys want a sad or happy ending idk yet?