Dream POV

The pain I felt when he yelled at me was indescribable. I couldn't breath. I couldn't even think. I was happy. I was obsessed with him, but he wasn't? I hated the thought of not having him. Why didn't he want me anymore? What did I do? My mind went blank after he told me. The stress and breakage that had fallen upon me was unbearable. I've been here for all of 3 days, and he already doesn't want me. What changed? Maybe he was right maybe we were moving to fast. I didn't want to talk to him about it though.

The car ride home was awful. We didn't talk didn't look at each other. We just sat. It was a 10 minute drive home... or to his house, but it felt like ages. My eyes filled with water on the way home. All I wanted was to disappear, and get away from him. Not in a bad way, my feelings didn't change, I just couldn't stand up to him right now. I tried not to blink to keep the water from flowing down my red cheeks.

The way I felt for him could never change. I would waste the rest of my life for him if I had too. He was worth it. He was worth everything to me. But I guess I wasn't to him. I took a deep breath trying to align my thoughts. I felt Georges stare, but I couldn't dare look at him. I just wanted peace. I didn't want a fight, but for some reason I felt like George did. As my mind was better cleared I wiped my tears and laid back in my chair. I kept looking out the window. Looking at the falling leaves and the wind blowing them into mini tornados. I thought about my home. And the way the temperature and weather were different. But the falling leaves and the swirling wind tornados stayed the same. The trees always looked sad in the winter time, more than usual. Fall had just begun a week or so ago, but it was already chilly here.

When we finally pulled up to his house I stepped out of the car to a cold brisk wind filling my lungs. The earthy smell calmed me down. Reminding me of Georges eyes, the way the made me feel at ease. The breeze calmed me as I zoned out, trying to think of all the good things in my life right now. I was distracted by my thoughts tell I heard a shut of the trunk and a honk of the car, locking it. I watched as George opened the door walking into his home. I took a moment for myself enjoying the moment of silence and peace before following him in.

When I got to the door I took a moment before walking in. "This could be it" I whispered to myself. My doubts didn't help me, but it helped prepare me if the worst did happen. One final deep inhale, and exhale as I walked in. By the time I got in there he was almost done putting the grocery's away. I sat leaning on the counter awkwardly waiting for him to finish up. When he did, I was the one who gets to talk now.

George POV

The car ride home was truly silent. I wanted to apologize for yelling, but I wouldn't of meant it if I did. I needed to get it out, it was also true. What were we doing? We both loved each other I know that, but could it work? With our careers and where we live. I'm not sure I could do that. Move to Florida, or have him move here? And even if we didn't could I do long distance?

No one spoke or even breathed tell he let out an exhale. I looked at him, but he didn't look at me. I didn't think he knew I was looking at him as he was looking out the window the whole ride. Didn't even look at me once. I knew I hurt him, but starting this relationship off with lies and unreal realities wouldn't have gotten us any further. I didn't mind the silence, it calmed me down. I was still anxious to get home and talk with him. I didn't know if he wanted to yell or cry or event talk at all, but no matter what he says I need to be honest.

As I pulled up to my house I got out right after parking grabbing all the bags and going straight to the kitchen to put stuff away. He seemed to of stayed outside an extra minute or so. I wonder what he did? "I guess were not having biscuits and gravy today." I whispered to myself. As I was almost done putting everything away, he walked in. He didn't help put the remaining groceries away, not that I wanted him to. He sat laying his back on the counter waiting for me to finish up. Right as I put the last thing away I walked up to him about to speak, but he did first.

Both POV

Dream: "So tell me what you want to do about this." I really didn't want to know.

George: I exhaled slowly realizing he seemed calm. I took a breath before speaking up. "We need to slow down. We are moving way to fast, and I- I can't keep acting like how this relationship is now, is going to work." I looked up at him in his eyes, but he looked away.

Dream: I understood that, I knew he wanted to slow things down but what does that mean. "Ok, I get that. But what does that mean for us?" I couldn't even look at him without the want to cry.

George: To be completely honest I didn't know what I wanted, but I couldn't drop this on him and not say why. "I think... I think you should go back to Florida. You don't live here, and we need to see what it's like with you being 4,000 some miles away." I really didn't want him to leave, but the reality is this isn't his home.

Dream: I couldn't look at him. I don't think I'm mad, but I knew if I did I would cry. Did he not like me here? I don't think I could go back to not waking up to him. It's only been 3 days, but I needed him. "You want me to go back?" I asked trying to be serious and calm, but I sounded more heartbroken then I wanted him to see.

George: I knew I was hurting him. You could hear it in his voice. Was he mad? We never really argued, or at least he never did. "I love you a lot, and I want this to work." I sighed as he looked at me in the eyes his being red. I was heartbroken knowing I hurt him. "But... it's not going to work if we go like this. I mean did you have a plan when to go home? Or a plan for any of it after hopping on the plane? We need to figure us out. But we also have to get back to our careers too. I want you in my life, a lot, but you can't live here, not now." I looked down, now I wanted to cry.

Dream: This time I did cry. He still loved me, but he didn't want me here? I understood, but I also didn't. This brown eyed boy has made me crazy, he flipped my life around. I would do anything for him, and if that means me going home I would do it. Did I want too? No. Plain and simple. I would rather wake up with this beautiful brown haired boy tucked in-between my arms every morning. And stay up late with him watching movies, cuddling, exploring. Be with him. I adored him. All his flaws and mistakes were nothing to me. "Ok, then I will head home, but you still want to try giving us a shot right?"

George: I was surprised he didn't argue with me. I just kicked my boyfriend out of my house and he didn't yell? I yelled at him in the car, he didn't yell. I'm kicking him out, he didn't yell. I know this shouldn't bother me, but did he really not care enough to argue? "Do you not care?"

Dream: What? Why would he ask that. He sees me crying right? "Of course I care Georgie, why would you even ask that?" That came out more disgusted then I wanted it too.

George: I guess I was overthinking it. Maybe he just doesn't yell. "I'm sorry. You're just not arguing. I just thought you were fine with going home."

Dream: "George of course I care. I would pack everything up and move here if I could. I would do anything for you. You know that. I just can't yell at you, no matter what you did I couldn't mean it. I'm not fine with going home, I want to stay here, but if you want me to go home I will." I really wanted to hug him, but the moment didn't seem right.

George: I wanted to argue, I wanted him to change my mind. But I knew he wouldn't. I needed him to leave if we were going to work. " I think you should go purchase a plane ticket, I'll pay for it." We walked into my room and he sat on my gaming chair. I normally would sit on his lap, but do to the circumstances I sat on the bed.

Dream: As I sat at his desk pulling up airlines and flights to Florida I felt... numb. All my emotions seemed to have disappeared. He was sitting on the bed and I could tell he was anxious. Me? I was calm, not sure why. As I was entering my credit information he got up an stopped me. "I can do it." I said with a straight face.

George: He was angry. He never really talked to me that way. I ignored what he said moving him over and paying for it. "No I got it." I sighed as I saw the ticket print from my printer. (I don't know how you get plane tickets so I just said this) I wanted to cry now. He was really leaving. I knew it was for the best, but I couldn't help but feel... empty. "Look um... I think I'm going to take a nap." He shook his head in understanding as I laid down on my bed. I've been sleeping a lot since he got here, but this was the first time I did it alone. I missed his touch and his warmth on me. The feelings and the butterflies I got when I fell asleep. I was alone as he walked out of the room closing the door behind him as I drifted of to sleep with tears running down my eyes staining my grey sheets almost black.

Dreams POV:

 As he laid in his bed I walked out. I wanted to be holding him as he fell asleep but I figured he didn't want that. I sat on the couch for a moment deciding what to do. Still numb and in shock of the conversation we had earlier. My stomach rumbled reminding me we had went to the store to get stuff for breakfast. So I decided to do that.  I grabbed all the ingredients for the dough and mixed it all together, I rolled the dough tell it was a good thickness and close to flat. I cut out circles and put them on a baking sheet. I put them in the oven as I started making the gravy. I put the sausage in a pan and let it heat up and sizzle. I made sure it was all the way cooked before cooking the gravy in a pot. While the gravy heated the oven went off saying the biscuits were done. I finished the gravy and combined it. 

I made myself a plate sitting down and enjoying the food. It tasted great. It made me miss my mom. I hadn't seen her in months, and the last time I called her was weeks ago. She was the person I would go to with my problems. Maybe I should call her? I finished eating and made a plate for George. I figured he was still sleeping so I put it in the warm oven and wrote a note for him.

It wrote

I decided to make the breakfast anyways. There is a plate in the oven for you if you would like it. I am most likely on the deck if you see this. I will be in in a little bit.

I went out on to the deck making sure I had a hoodie on to keep warm. With the autumn breeze rolling in it was much chillier here than in Florida. It had already rained twice since I've been here too. We spent most of our days inside anyways so it didn't effect us, but I still noticed and heard the droplets of water hitting the roof and windows of the house. It was calming for me. The sun was out today, shining brightly on the green grass and pavement. I enjoyed the scenery for a moment before grabbing my phone to call my mom about what had happened over the last few days.

 I never truly told her I liked guys, but she always asked me if I had any special girl or guy in my life. I wonder if she did it out of question, or knew that I was attracted to both? I knew she would be supportive though. She never seemed to have a problem with it. We had two neighbors who were gay. I was in Middle School at the time, but I remember my Mom was good friends with them. They even came over to our house for Holidays and parties some times. They moved a few years after coming to our neighborhood, but I still think about them a lot. They were happy. I wanted that for me and George. As I pressed her contact information I realized it was only around 10 am there, but she was probably still awake.

Ring  Ring  Ring 

"Hi Honey, what's up?" She said. I could tell she was glad to hear from me.

"I was just checking in to see how you were doing." I didn't want to just blurt everything out right away. So I started a small conversation instead.

"It's going ok. I just brought Drista back from her soccer game. Her team won 3-1!" She seemed excited and proud.

"That's great I bet she did good... can I talk to you, I just have a lot on my mind?" I stopped for a second and my voice changed tones a little too. I was nervous to tell her, but I knew she would be supportive and say all the right things to make me feel better.

"Yes Honey of course, you can always talk to me." She said comforting. I exhaled happily and started telling her everything. Starting from the first time I liked George, Sophomore year of Highschool. I told her about how the feelings went away then recently came back a few months ago. I told her what happened to George not giving her all the details in respect for him. I told her how I flew out here for him, how I loved him. And also the argument we had just recently had. By now the feeling of numbness I had felt earlier had gone away. I was crying and I didn't even realize tell my mom told me.

"Oh Honey, don't cry. It's all going to be ok. By the sound of it I think George loves you too. I think that even though you will have to leave him, you will be ok. For now I know it's scary, but I promise you it will get better. And thank you for telling me you are into guys, I support you 100% in who you love. And I like George and I'm happy for you two, it will all work out in the end. No matter how long it takes." I wasn't sure if she actually believed it would all work out or not, or if she was just saying that to make me feel better. Either way talking to her made me feel better. Her voice could always calm me down. No matter how far away from her she cared for me. I guess that's what Moms do. We chatted for a few minutes longer before she told me she had to go. I was okay with it as we said our goodbyes. As we hung up I saw the time of the call was two and a half hours. I didn't realize I talked so long. 

I walked back into the house to realize George was pacing around the living room. He seemed upset and as if he couldn't breath. I figured he was having another panic attack so I went to his assistance.

"George breath your ok, what's wrong?"

George POV

I woke up around 2 PM to a faint smell of flour and sausage in the kitchen. I expected Dream to be out there, but he wasn't. I figured he was in the guest room doing god knows what. But as I walked into the kitchen I saw a note on the counter. I was hesitant to read it. Would it be something bad? Did he just want to give up? Did he leave? I finally got the guts to read it and it just told me he was on the deck and he made a plate of food for me. I sighed in relief and opened up the oven to reveal an American biscuit with some sort of sausage and gravy mixture on the side. I grabbed a fork and knife sitting down at my island counter before taking a bite.

I was hesitant at first. This is what some would call an American food. I didn't have much of that. I wanted Dream to be here to see me eat it. That sounded weird, but it was a first time and I wanted him to see. After a moment I put some of the gravy mixture and a small piece of biscuit in my mouth. The biscuit was fluffy and seemed similar to a scone. The gravy was not to bad, there was a lot of sausage in it, but I enjoyed it over all. I'm not sure if I appreciated it more because it was made by Dream, but either way I would eat it again.

TW: SELF HATRED/PANIC ATTACK

 As I enjoyed the remainder of my plate I realized Dream was leaving. Like actually leaving. He's not going to be here to make me food, or take care of me. I might be better from the incident I had a few days ago, but what if it happens again, is he going to be here? Does he want to? I loved him, so so much. But making him leave, will that ruin us? As I started to panic I took a deep breath and tried to reassure myself I would be fine. But I couldn't help but think what I'm doing will ruin what we have. I couldn't lose him. I wouldn't make it without him. Not after what we have had. Not after I experienced what it was like to have him, truly have him. Not after he flipped my world around. I've wanted him for months and I could of thrown that away, why? Was I scared? Did I think he wasn't right for me? Do I not deserve him? 

I don't deserve him. What have I done to deserve him. Why does he love me? He is beautiful, brave, loving, caring, bright, generous, and drop dead gorgeous. Then there's me a shy, skinny, boring, British boy with no life and a fucked up childhood. I just don't get it. He could have almost any guy or girl he wanted. He always could. But he want's me? Is it out of pity? Or is he just to blind to realize I'm not worth it. As I was pacing around on the hardwood floors of my living room I was panicking. It was hard to breath and I felt like my chest was closing in on me. My heartrate was speeding up as I felt dizzy like I was going to faint. I heard a voice in the background, but was to stressed to focus on it. I heard it come closer making it easier to hear. Dream.

"George breath your ok, what's wrong?" I heard Dream say. It sounded fuzzy, but most likely do to the ringing I was hearing. I tried to respond but I couldn't catch my breath to let out a full sentence.

"P- panic a t- tack" I was able to let out those words barely before going back to a freak out.

"Ok I need you to breath, ok in... out.... in... out..." It helped when he did it with me. but I couldn't keep it up. He looked calm in the situation, but I knew he was freaking out internally.

"Ok lay with me and copy my breathing ok?" He sat on the couch as I sat in-between his legs leaning my back against his chest. He slowly breathed in and out as I followed his movements. "Good that's it just breath with me ok. Focus on the sound of my voice I'm going to tell you a story ok?" I nodded my head to his question still not able to fully speak.

"You wanna know what I was doing on the deck?" He asked and I nodded my head focusing on the story he was telling me. It seemed easier to breath as I was focusing in on something other than my thoughts. "Well I was talking to my mom, I think you talked to her before, on a stream. When you won her number from me. Remember that?" I did remember that. I had called her once on stream too. She was nice.

"Yes" I was able to let the words out without to much issue this time. Still doing my breathing exercises even though Dream had stopped. He smiled at me. The ringing had come to an end by now.

"Good that's good. Well I told her I liked guys. She was really supportive. And I told her about you too. She said she liked you, and she was happy for us!" He exhaled happily as he said the last part, as if it was the greatest news he has heard. I was happy too. She liked me.

"Really?" I asked wanting reassurance. At this point I wasn't dizzy anymore, and I could breath better too.

"Yes. She said that, and that she want's us to work out. I do too you know?" He most likely knew why I had the panic attack, it was him again. I just nodded my head in fear I would cry, until I realized I already was. He sat holding my hand and his other arm lightly around my neck. When I was calm enough he looked at me to make sure I was ok. I nodded my head again giving him a quick smile.

"Do you want to talk about it? No pressure." He asked. I knew he was eager to know but would support my decision either way. I found it stupid why I had this panic attack and really didn't want to tell him why, but he deserved an explanation after what he did. If  he wasn't here, it would of been worse than last time. I got of his lap sitting next to him on the couch. I nodded my head to inform him I would tell him, but I also wasn't ready yet.

"In a little." I sighed relaxing my head on his thigh. he grabbed the blanket that was on the couch putting it on me so I could lay comfortably before telling him the truth. I didn't want to tell him though. Not because I was embarrassed, but because I didn't want reassurance from him. I don't want his comfort. I was thankful to have him, but I just wish I wasn't broken in the first place.

Thank you for all the reads! I thought it would be better to post these two together instead of days apart. This chapter and the past one was not much fluff, and I think the next one will have some but I'm not sure. I probably will not post another chapter this week, but we will see. Anyways enjoy!!