Are we going to be skipping over the next few weeks because the author is to lazy to write that much stuff? Yes yes we are. These are just different texts he sent to Dream throughout the time apart.
10/13/20
George- Hey I saw you on stream last night. You didn't really talk to me and you didn't seem like yourself. I hope your doing ok. I'm here if you need to talk. Just please talk to someone I just want you to be ok. I want you back. I love you, please text me.
10/18/20
George- Hey Dream. I've kept up with texting you everyday and you seem to be reading them so at least you see them. I haven't talked to you in weeks and I really miss you. It's hard not talking to you everyday. I get maybe I did something relationship wise, but please don't tell me I lost my best friend too. I need you in my life. I love you a lot like more than anything in this world. I just feel lost without you. Today I did a stream, and I wished you were there, but you weren't. I had Sapnap there, he's a really good friend but he's not you. I need you. I love you so so so much more than you would ever know. I just wish you would explain to me why you're walking out of my life if that's what your doing. I miss you. Please talk to me.
10/22/20
George- Hey baby. I've been lonely without you. I'm starting to realize how much of my day I spent talking to you. Now I do nothing during those hours because nothing could replace you. I spent the day moving the furniture around in my room because I had nothing better to do. I hope you're happy, or doing ok. I still don't understand why you ghosted me. Normally people ghost people they don't want to talk to anymore. Do you not love me anymore? I would understand, just please tell me. I still love you. I don't think I could ever stop. I know it's stupid but I watch a lot of our old videos just to hear your voice. I miss it. I miss you. You probably won't text back, but I'm always here and would understand.
10/25/20
George- Hey, guess what I did today. I got a cat. It felt lonely here so I decided to go to a shelter and adopt one. It's an older cat I think she is 5 years. She is white and gray and was named Cat. I thought the name was funny and I fell in love with her. She's really sweet and fluffy. She also has blue eyes so I can see them. It just got lonely here and I wanted company. I wished it was you, but you seem to just be leaving me on read. It's ok, I just miss you a lot. My mental health hasn't been going to well. I've been kind of falling apart the past few weeks. I miss having you comfort me, I have to do it myself now which makes it harder. But it's not your fault. It's my mind. An assholes running my head and it just keeps trying to kill me. I love you so much, and I miss you so much. It's hard not talking to you everyday just trying to get used to you not being here I guess. I'm always here.
TW- Mention of suicidal thought
10/29/20
George- Update just bawled my eyes out cause I spilled vodka on your sweatshirt meaning I have to wash it. But if I do that it's going to lose it's sent of you. I hate this so much. Why are you doing this to me? I hate you for it. The pain your causing me by leaving is unbearable. What the fuck went through your mind when you said hey I'm gonna ghost this bitch that I lead on and made him think I loved him. Fuck you. Fuck life. I hate myself for loving you and caring about you. I let you take over my life. You don't know how many panic attacks I've had because of you leaving me. Why does this hurt so bad? You know I would of ended it already if I wasn't such a pussy. I miss you.
10/30/20
George- I didn't mean what I said last night, well at least most of it. I don't hate you, I'm mad but I could never hate you. But I am in pain and I hate myself for sending that text last night. I was drunk and pissed off at life. But most of it is true I just should of worded it differently. It's not you fault I have these thoughts, it's mine. I don't blame you for anything. As long as you're happy then I will find a way to get better too. I love you a lot. To the point not having you is slowly killing me. I just want to escape, to leave but I can't. I wouldn't kill myself, I couldn't do that to my Mom or you if you still care about me. Pain doesn't just disappear it gets passed on and I couldn't do that. So I'm gonna suck it up and get better.
11/5/20
George- Cat just peed on the floor and I had to clean it up. I ordered food and the knock scared her to the point she peed. She seems to have a lot of trauma from the shelters it seems. I love her all the same though. She fell asleep on the pillow next to me last night and I woke up to her giving me kisses in the morning. It was sweet. I streamed earlier today and I saw you popped in for a little. It hurt knowing you were so close yet so far. I miss you, I'm kind of getting better I guess. I haven't cried today yet. I know now you won't text back, but I like to tell you about my day. It's comforting in a way. The one good thing about being youtubers is there a bunch of videos with you in it. So whenever I miss you I play one and listen to your voice. Call me a wierdo or a stalker, I know I seem like one but you haven't blocked me yet. Please don't, but a part of you still want's me around so I'm staying. I love you a thousand times to the end of the universe and back. Maybe one day you'll talk to me again. I can only hope.
11/10/20
George- I was scrolling through the internet looking at sad long distance quotes as one depressed man who was in love with someone who doesn't talk to you anymore does, and I found this one. "If love cannot stand the test of time, then it has failed the test of love." Just saying if this is what you are trying to do I think it's been enough time. I'm still in love with you and a million century's could not change that. Just making sure you knew that. Also I started cooking again. I used to hate it as you know, but I'm tired of ramen packets and fast food. Today I made a grilled chicken sandwich. It was actually really good and I was proud. I ate with cat. I used to put her food bowl on the table so I wasn't so alone but one time she knocked over a burning candle and almost burnt down the apartment. So now I eat on the couch with her. I suppose my cat lady self is coming out. Maybe I will grow old and adopt ten more of them then I would be a real cat lady. I love you and miss you like always. I haven't cried in three days. I think I'm getting used to being alone. It still hurts and it always will, but you don't seem to want me anymore which is fine. I will get better.
11/17/20
George- You know how I had that week long streak of not crying? Ya that's over. I had a dream about you. You were back with me in my apartment and we were cuddling on the couch watching some sort of Disney movie. I'm not really good at remembering dreams but I remembered this one. We were cuddling and you had your arms rapped around me and I smelt you again. That sounded weird lol. But it felt so real. You were kissing me and I felt so safe and warm. Then when I looked up you were gone. I wish I never looked up. Maybe I could of had you for longer. I miss you a lot. And no matter how much I try to convince myself I'm going to be ok but I don't think I ever will be fully there. You mean everything to me and I would destroy this earth to have you again. Do you want me too? I can get a nuke from a top secret base and destroy the sun or something. I'd have to do my research first on how to destroy earth. The person on the other side of my phone is gonna be calling in back up real quick after that one. But I seriously do miss you. Like every second I spend thinking about you. Now it's happy memory's most of the time. All of our memory's are happy. Even when anyone else would call them the opposite just having you makes them better. I love you forever and always.
11/20/20
George- I got a visitor today. My Mom came by for a few hours. I cried into her shoulder for about 70% of the time. She made me feel better though. My mind has gone to a place were it copes by ignoring my emotions. So I've been doing great on the outside. But crying got a lot of it out. I've also decided to learn how to speak sign language. Spur of the moment thing but what can you expect from someone with as much free time as me. Also I'm starting to realize I treat my texts to you like a diary. I would write them down in a book but I like to know you read them. Or at least see them. My Mom said she misses you. I know you barely met her, but I think she liked you. Do you miss me? You know I miss you like crazy. I said it everyday for the past almost two months. I wonder what you've been doing with your life. You still post on YouTube, but you don't stream. I hope you're ok. I hope you're happy. I love you!
11/26/20
George- I've been keeping in contact with all of our friends and none of them have talked to you either? I figured you were ignoring me but everyone else too. Dream I need you to talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me. But please just let someone know what's going on with you. I have a feeling you're not ok. Best friends always know. Are we best friends still? I guess we only dated for like two days before whatever this is happened. But we had been best friends for like 6 years. I miss that. Our banters our flirts our jokes. You were always there for me. You helped me so much before you even knew. You saved me a few times. Whenever it went bad I would always think about you. I had you to live for. Now I have me to live for. So thank you for showing me my worth. Sometimes I don't believe it, but at one point I did. Ya you may have walked out on me and left me here so maybe I don't have enough worth to make you stay, but your worth like a billion dollars so I'm not surprised. It's like trying to buy a yacht with a dollar. To good to be true. But that doesn't mean I'll ever stop loving you. I'll be one of your crazy fans that are totally in love with you. I wouldn't mind. I got you for 6 years and that's more than what I deserved. But like if you ever want to waltz back into my life I would gladly take you. I miss you and love you forever.
12/2/20
George- Well as you a Florida man are getting hit with nice weather I'm here in about a foot of snow. God I love the winter because It's an excuse to not leave the house, but I despise the snow with a passion. You know when I first got my own place I was so excited to make friends and be such a partier. But that never happened. I made friends with a sophomore in high school playing a block game. I wouldn't change it for the world but If you told me about our future together I never would of believed you. I believed we would play a few rounds of bedwars and then never talk to each other again. But you were good and most of my friends knew nothing about video games. All the things we did together was crazy. Like we accomplished so much and we did it together. I miss that. I love you.
12/6/20
George- Happy 2 month anniversary of ghosting me! I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but technically on this day two months ago was the last time I talked to you. People are worried about you. Including our fans. We haven't filmed a video or streamed together in a while. I've been trying to ignore the question or say we are fine, but I don't think I can do that anymore. I don't want to lie to them but I also don't want this to become a reality. I suppose once it's out there we kind of stopped talking it will become real. I don't want that. Not at all. I love you and I miss you as always. I hope you are doing better.
12/10/20
George- Do you know how many promises you broke? You promised to love me for ever, to never leave me, to try this. But you broke them. All of them. It just hurts seeing you move on without me. In your streams you act happy. But I can hear it in your voice. You strain it. It's slight but I've learned enough to know you're not ok. Talk to me. Just let me help you. I don't even know what's wrong with you. You didn't even tell me why you left me. I just wish I knew what's wrong. It bugs me to not understand your pain and reasoning. I just want you to be ok. But I don't think me not being here will help anything. If you need me the way I need you then distance won't ever fix anything. No matter how long or far the pain can't be fixed by silence. I love you forever. I hope you do too. I miss us. I miss you.
12/15/20
George- So today I may or may not have gotten you a Christmas present and sent it to your house. I don't need anything from you and you don't even need to open it at all. Just don't throw it away. It means a lot to me and it is something I want you to have. You don't have to open it now or even ever. If you truly don't want it send it back to me. I just don't want it to get thrown out. I truly want you to have it and wouldn't of sent it if I didn't. I miss you. I was debating calling you to see if you would pick up, but I didn't. I promised myself that I wouldn't push you to talk to me and calling you just seemed to far over the line. At that point I figured within a few days you would of called me back, but you never did. Another long distance quote for you. I felt lonely and the positive ones cheered me up. "If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them." I'm not sure what we are or if we're anything anymore. If I could chose I would of chose us. I would of chose love, because I know no matter how much doubt I feel you would always reassure me. I love you like always and I miss you like hell. :)
12/22/20
George- So it is almost Christmas. I got a notification that my package has been shipped. Normally I would be yelling at you to not open it tell Christmas but now I'm just hoping you open it at all. When you read these texts, what do you think? Like I wish this bitch would shut up already? Or I miss him? Or if I murdered this guy for texting me long ass paragraph for almost the past three months would anyone care? Look in my defense it's a coping mechanism. Also I'm not sure if you have been on twitter recently, you haven't really been active other than on YouTube and the one stream you did. I'm sorry for all the questions you got burdened with. I know a lot of our fans care, but questions upon questions like that was probably hard on you. I'm sorry for that. I know you probably don't want to, but if you ever want to stream or make YouTube videos with me I'm here. And I'm also here if you need anything. Like seriously anything. I love you more than you know. If the size of a heart represented how much I loved you you wouldn't love me anymore because I would crush you. Like it's having the sun sit on top of you. It's funny you know. When I first started doing theses texts I was so upset and hated myself and hated you for it. But now I do it because it helps me remember the times when we would talk about anything. Where you would go on your little rants about how school is pissing you off or how Sapnap did some stupid thing that made you mad. I guess your finally paying for all the rants you had. Now I'm the one ranting about my life.
12/24/20
George- Merry Christmas Eve. You know when you came to visit I figured the next time I would see you would be Christmas. We would bake cookies and drink hot coco. We could go sledding and open our presents for each other. But that's not true. I probably won't even get a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays from you. Which is ok. I forgive you. I always forgive you. You still mean everything to me. No matter how I act of screen or on, I'm still sad. And I still need you. I need you to hold me when I can't breath. Or make fun of me when I do something stupid. Call me baby or Georgie. That used to make my heart flutter. But the one thing I don't have is a video of you calling me that. So I don't get that same feeling anymore because I forgot your voice. I forgot how much I loved it. But I had another dream. And those feelings knocked down my door again. I didn't want to be sad today, but I couldn't help it. The one thing I wanted was closure. Knowledge of why you left me. I didn't get that. I know your alive, but it still feels like you dropped off the edge of this earth to never return. I hope that you are better or happier than I made you, because I'm not. You never realize how short the good memories are until you don't have them anymore. You were all the good memories for me. When I say you mean everything to me, I'm not kidding. Everything I have become was because of you. If only I was your everything too. I could of been in your arms today. In my safe spot. In my home.
Two chapters in one day pog! Will this ever happen again probably not. Anyways thank you guys so much for all the reads and I hope you have been enjoying the story so far. I may even post another tonight but probably not. I'm in a writing mood and wrote this whole chapter in like the past hour while freaking out over Ranboos stream. Anyways hope you enjoy and have a good night/day and please stay healthy!
Really speed wrote this chapter 🏃♀️