April 5, 2011: Above the Noise Tour; Madrid, Spain

"Danny, do you reckon you're a better launcher than me?" Tom asks, as we stand on his and Danny's balcony in the beautiful hotel, looking over the Spanish beaches. 

"No I don't think so." Danny replies. We all hang over the edge of the balcony as Tom gracefully releases the paper airplane he had just made minutes earlier. 

"Woah!" We all exclaim, as it does a loop-de-loop. 

"Woah!" We all say again as it does another one. 

"Woah!" We shout as it swirls around towards the balcony and Danny catches it again. 

"Woah!" Tom screams, all Danny laughs and I stand there in shock. 

"Wow Tom! I take it back! You really are the best paper airplane maker!" I smile. 

"That was awesome!" Danny says. 

"Like one in a million! We should put it on YouTube or something!" He smiles. 

Being on tour had been great, and being in Spain, rather than Gloomy England, had been helpful too. I felt we all needed more vitamin D. 

Unfortunately, I still was in a sleep-deprived fog the whole time.

We all got ready to head down to the beach before the boys had to head to the venue for tonight's show. They all played on this big rope playground structure,  while I sat on the sand. It was harder to stay awake when the warm sun is on you and the sand is so soft...

"Lilly!" Tom yells, and I notice they're covering Dougie in sand. "Come help us!" He smiles. I get up from my place and walk over to them. 

"Traitors!" Dougie exclaims as we all cover him in sand, and then the boys create designs in the sand to make him look like a topless mermaid. 

"Nice work." Harry says, as we stand back and admire our masterpiece. I smile. 

"Well now what?" I ask. 

"We could dig him out." Tom suggests. 

"But why would we do that?" Danny asks. "Destroy our beautiful creation? I think not." 

"We could get ice cream." Harry says. 

"I want ice cream!" Dougie calls. 

"We'll bring you some back, mate." Tom says. 

"What? No!" Dougie starts. 

"What flavor?" Tom asks. 

"Chocolate! Get me out of here guys!" He struggles, but there's too much sand. 

"Relax, Doug." Danny says. "We'll be five minutes. Tops." We laugh, turning towards the ice cream stand. 

***************************

By the time we had all gotten to the venue, my normal tired state was worse than ever. I was the type of tired where you blink rapidly to keep your eyes open, you feel sick, and you start to think the floor looks like a comfortable place to catch a few Z's. 

There was only twenty more minutes until the boys went on, and I was feeling so ill, that I was slumped against the dressing room couch. None of the boys seemed to take much notice, since I was still pretending to be fine and refused to let my eyes close. I just hoped they wouldn't ask me anything, because I felt so sick I didn't think I could speak. 

My head was pounding and I felt incredibly dizzy. I considered visiting their band doctor (a private doctor who always comes on tour with them. Fletch hired him after the Danny-nosebleed incident), but for the most part earlier today I was too busy, and now I felt like I physically couldn't. 

but eventually it was show time, and I always watched the boys from the wings. If anything, I was trying to hide how I was feeling. With Tom on new medicine, Dougie fresh out of rehab, and the fact that they were all on a tour that they didn't have much time to rehearse for was enough stress. No one needed to worry about me. 

I slowly trailed behind the boys and Fletch as they all gave each other fist bumps, and I literally clung to the wall to keep myself upright. 

When we entered the dark area of the wings, I was on Harry and Tom's side, and I gave them fist bumps before they ran out. The screaming fans from just beyond the stage usually filled me with excitement, but now it made me want to cower away. It made my heart race and my ears felt like they were going to explode. 

The first song on the setlist was Party Girl, and as soon as Danny hit the first chord on his guitar and the lights came up on the stage, I lost consciousness. 

******************************

"Alright, back up, back up." I hear Fletch say. "Go damn it boys, give her some room to breathe!"  I open my eyes to see Tom, Danny, Harry and Dougie standing over me, and Fletch just behind them with his arms crossed and a disapproving look on his face. 

"Lilly! You scared the bloody hell out of us!" Tom exclaims. My head feels heavy. Like if I tried to pick it up off the pillow it would snap my neck.

"Where am I?" I ask. 

"Oh my gosh!" Danny exclaims, frightened. "She has anemia!" 

"Anemia?" Dougie asks, puzzled. "When did she tell you that?" 

"She can't remember anything!" Danny exclaims, still frightened, but like it should be obvious. Harry hits the back of his head. 

"That's amnesia you git. Anemia is low iron." He rolls his eyes. "Plus, we brought her here while she was unconscious, so she wouldn't know where she is." 

"Oh...right." Danny says. 

"You're at the hotel. We brought you back." Tom says. 

"What? What about the show?" I say, worried, trying to get up. 

"Woah, woah, lay down Kid." Fletch says, pushing past the boys and guiding me to lay back down. "Show already happened. It went great." 

"I missed the show?" I'm disappointed. If I had the chance to pass out at any McFly gig, I would choose one of the boring ones in England. Not the one with the big venue in Spain...just my luck.

"We had the doctor come see you." Harry says. "He said you were dehydrated and exhausted. All you need is some fluids and a good night's rest." 

Great. That probably wasn't going to happen, although I did feel a bit less tired from my quick unconscious nap. I remember when I went to the doctor she said something about fainting. I hope this didn't become a normal occurrence. I have way too much to do. 

"Doug's gonna stay here tonight incase you need anything." Tom says. Crap. If Dougie stays, he'll see that I can't sleep. 

"No, that's okay-" I start. 

"No seriously, Lilly. You shouldn't get up." Fletch says. I know if Fletch says it, it's serious. 

How hard could it be to fake-sleep?

When everybody left and went back to their own rooms, Dougie turned the light off and laid on the floor. 

"What are you doing?" I ask him. 

"Going to sleep. Is that okay?" He asks. 

"On the floor?" I ask. 

"Yes." He replies. 

"Oh...okay." I simply state. 

"Goodnight, Lil." He says. 

"Night." I lay in the silence with the only noise the faint hum of a heater, distant traffic from outside the hotel, and the sound of Dougie breathing. "Wait." I speak up. 

"Yeah?" 

"I'm sorry...could I have some water?" I ask. 

"Yeah." Dougie says, getting up and heading to the mini fridge, taking out a water bottle, walking over to me and handing it to me already opened. He helped me take a sip. 

"Thanks." I say. 

"You want more?" He asks.

"No. I'm okay." I say. Dougie kneels down so that he's even with me and takes the water bottle, screwing the cap back on and putting it on the side table next to me. "Thanks." I expect him to shuffle away to his make shift floor-bed, but he looks at me, and then he pushes some hair off my forehead. 

"You worried me." He says. I smile. 

"You worry me all the time." I joke. But it was true. He smiles. 

"Try not to do it again?" He asks, softly. My smile fades. 

"I'll try." 

//