My Heart Goes Boom

Christmas Eve, 2006


Just as we said we would, Dougie and I head to his home in Essex to celebrate Christmas with his family before we come back to London tonight so that we can celebrate with the rest of the boys, Gi and Izzy.


"Are you nervous?" Dougie asks.


"No. Why would I be nervous?" I ask him in exchange. He shrugs.


"Usually people are nervous when they meet their significant other's parents."


"I've already met your mum, Dougie."


"Yeah, but not as my girlfriend." He says.


"We got together, like, four hours later. And your mum wanted us together." I say.


"Yeah, yeah you're right." Dougie says, still looking at the road, driving. "You shouldn't be nervous."


The conversation dulls down as the only sound coming through is the hushed noise of the Christmas carols on the radio. And then, it dawned on me.


"Are you nervous?" I ask.


"Terrified." Dougie says, looking over at me quickly.


"Why?" I ask, smiling at him.


"I don't know. What if she changed her mind? Or what if she accidentally forgets and tells my Aunt Lisa? Aunt Lisa is a blabber mouth and-"


"If she tells, we'll figure it out." I say, putting my hand on his thigh. "We always figure it out."


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As soon as Dougie and I get out of the car, I grab his hand. Not only because he's nervous, but also because I want Sam to know we're serious.


The house is exactly as it was last Christmas, and as we got to the door Sam opened it before we even had to knock.


"Oh my son." She smiled and hugged Dougie.


"Hi Mum." He squeaked out from the tight hug. She pulled away from him.


"Oh and Lilly!" She said, then engulfing me in a tight hug as well this time. "It's been so long dear, oh come in. Both of you. It's too cold to stay out."


We followed Sam inside and chatted with Jazzie before Sam called me into the kitchen.


"Lilly, could you help me in the kitchen?" She called for me. I smiled at Dougie before getting up and meeting his mother in the kitchen.


"What can I help you with Sam?" I ask.


"Oh nothing Honey." She smiled, continuing to cook.


"Oh well then-"


"I called you in to thank you." She says.


"Thank me?" I ask.


"For helping me." She says.


"But you just said you didn't need help." I reply, very confused.


"Not that, Sweetie. Last year. I told you about how I worried about Dougie. How you eased my worries. How you said you'd always take care of him. You've made me feel the best about Dougie I ever have." She says.


"Sam, I appreciate that...and what I said was true but...that's not why I'm dating Dougie. I love Dougie. That's why I'm with him." I say. I didn't mean to be harsh but Sam needed to know I wasn't faking it. I wasn't dating Dougie for any purpose other than the fact that I loved him.


"I know that. And as fantastic as you and Dougie are, I don't want you to think that I need you to be in a relationship with him...oh I'm blabbing. I'm just happy, you're both happy."


"We are." I say.


"Good. Keep it that way."


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So, after lots of talking, eating and celebrating, Dougie and I found our way back in the Q6 with lots of hugs on our arms and kisses on our cheeks and promises of visiting soon in the air.


But as soon as I hit the car seat, I fell asleep.


But just before I drifted off, I felt a kiss on my head.


"Happy Anniversary."


// 

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