Why did I feel suddenly free?

After telling Diallo I only wanted to stay as friends, it was like my energy shifted. I remembered why I decided to attend Mizzou and what I wanted to accomplish. This was not about meeting some boy and falling in mad love. This was about me.

And maybe I just had to kiss some frogs, as Angel said.

I attended a meeting on our floor with our Resident Assistant welcoming us back and trying to get us to plan floor activities. Gay and I were not the only new residents on the floor. This time I was on an all-girls floor and I must say it was refreshing.

Our RA was named Samantha Elliot and she was a sophomore and seemed pretty cool. One of those girls I was sure was a cheerleader at some point. Super bubbly, always happy and always smiling.

"I'm so glad you two ladies are on my floor!" she greeted us, grabbing us both in an awkward hug.

I looked at Gay, she grimaced at me. She should know better than to invade our personal space. They were trained on things like that.

"We now have some diversity on our floor."

Oh, and there was that. Gay and I were the only Black students on the floor. There were two Chinese girls, but we were it for as far as diversity. Good thing I had no problem with that, in fact, I needed it. I came from a high school that was a hundred percent Black, so I needed to be able to work around all people.

"And as such," Gay stated, "What are we doing for Martin Luther King Day? For Black History Month? The day isn't just about us it's about making others aware of our struggle."

"Oh," was all Samantha could say, sitting back down in her chair. She looked around at the others at the meeting, sitting on the sofas, laid out on the floor, or even standing around, as if they would protest. No one said anything. It got really quiet in the meeting.

"Not only that, let's celebrate all minority groups, even if they are not represented on our floor," I added.

"Great, that's a great idea," Samantha stated as if she had come up with the idea herself. "You two can be in charge of that."

"I'm down," Gay stated.

We were in the common area on our floor and there were not many residents that attended the meeting. Of the maybe sixty residents, there were fifteen at the meeting. I attended one meeting in my previous residence hall. Diallo did not have any outside of our first meeting. Samantha was planning things for us to do every week.

"Don't worry, she's not as bad as she seems," one of the girls said to us after the meeting.

"Better than where I came from before," Gay said. "Not that I had a bad RA, I just had a bad roommate."

"And I had a...fine RA," I added with a giggle. "I mean, he is fine."

"Ugh!" Gay said, elbowing me.

"He is!"

"You had a guy RA?" the girl asked, pushing her glasses back on her freckled face. Cropped short red curly hair too. I could make the Orphan Annie joke about her, but I was better than that.

"Co-ed floor. It was not too bad. My suitemates on the other hand...messy." Why was I talking to this girl as if I knew her? "Oh, I'm Rayvn and this is Gay."

"This school is so huge you can go a whole semester and not meet everyone," she said. "I'm Chandler. Yes, my mother named me from that God-awful show."

I tried so hard not to laugh, but I was about to bust at that. Gay could not hold her laugh in. She did so right in her face.

"No, really, it's not funny," Gay said between laughs. "And Friends is a good show. But whyyyy?"

"I know, right!" Chandler said with a giggle. "Couldn't I be Monica or Rachael...even Phoebe, though no, I don't like that name either? You can call me Chan. We should hang out sometime. I did not know anyone when I first came last semester, but now I'm pretty much cool with everyone on the floor."

"Yes, we need new friends!" Gay said.

I was not looking for new friends. I was afraid the same thing could possibly happen. They turn on you. I shook that feeling from my head, I was supposed to think positively.

We sat and talked with Chandler for a while. She was an elementary education major and bless her heart for that. Teachers made the world a better place, by having the patience to teach bad little kids. Chandler was from Texas, so far from home. She was on a full scholarship, her parents were not rich, and they were not helping much with her tuition.

She worked part-time in our residence hall at the front desk.

"You guys should apply, they always need more help. It's a fun way to meet people as well."

"Work?" Gay scoffed at that. "Why? My parents pay my tuition plus send me a weekly allowance. I will work when they force me to."

"Sure, I will do it!" I did not need the money. My tuition and room and board were paid until I graduated. I wanted to do it for the experience. I liked working.

So I applied and was hired on the spot the next day. They were short-handed. Lots of students quit over break and the ones left were covering multiple shifts. Someone was covering the front desk twenty-four hours. There was no way I could do overnight, I needed my sleep, but I was free most evenings. The pay was not that great, but at least it was something and it did not feel like work.

All I did was sit at the front desk, greet any visitors, and if there were packages, get them to the right people.

My first few nights were boring. Nothing to do so I studied for a test that was the next day. I hated tests, It's like my anxiety kicked in whenever I took them. I felt like I knew everything going in, and then I struggled to make my C. I wish schoolwork came easy for me.

"If you were going to work, you should work somewhere I could get discounts!" Gay hung out at the front desk with me, leaning over the counter. The front desk sat directly across the main entry door, so I could see everyone that entered. There was a lounge area with chairs, tables, couches, and a TV, but it was rare students used it.

The cafeteria was down the hall and around the corner and around dinner time there was more activity of people coming and going, but the dinner crowd was pretty much over now. I ate dinner earlier since I had to work. Gay just finished and now was hanging out with me.

She was bored. She literally had no one else to hang out with but me, and she had no studying to do.

"Sorry," I said to her. "If you come back home with me in St. Louis one weekend, I am sure I can get you a discount at my stepmother's store. Her clothes are awesome!"

"Bet. Let's make that a plan. Any weekend I go home with you is one less I have to go home with my brother."

I shook my head at that. "How is Diallo?"

"What, since you broke his little heart?" Gay gave me a snarky grin. "I bet he finds someone else to dictate their life soon."

I did know how I would feel seeing Diallo with someone else. I could not get jealous, right? I made my decision.

"I talked with Samantha and gave her some ideas for Black History Month. She will just agree to whatever since she has no idea what she is doing. I want to do like a Black History Month jeopardy for our floor. Although...since we are the only..." She rubbed her arm for emphasis, "Maybe that's unfair."

"No, we still can do it. Everyone needs to learn more. We could give them clues throughout the month and if they have read all the clues, then it will be easier to answer them."

"Like more studying?"

"College is about more than what we learn in the classroom. Challenge them. And since Mizzou has historically been a racist school, let's change that."

"I guess."

Gay's attention drifted off to a group of guys walking in and talking loud.

"Well!"

I diverted my eyes toward them. Our residence hall was on ten floors. Five were boys, five were girls. Also with our cafeteria in the building, running across guys was no big deal. They sure did not pay us any mind, walking off towards the cafeteria.

Guy let out a sigh.

"I need a friend."

"As in a boyfriend or a girlfriend?"

"Either."

Gay rarely talked about boys. She was bi, but always seemed to only have interests in girls.

"What type of guys do you like?"

"I'm not looking for a relationship or anything, just someone to hang out with sometimes. Link up here and there...whatever. It has been a while for me. Ugh!"

As pretty as Gay was, and by her having interests in both, I would think it was easier for her to find someone. I was not trying to be in her business like that, but if she was down with random hookups, she had her pick. Finding a guy that wanted the same thing as I did was exhausting.

Gay stood there talking with me for most of my shift, then she went out to smoke before meeting back with me at the end of my shift.

The next day I took my test and I had the biggest shock of my life.

I got an A.

A/N: It's good to see Rayvn branching out and doing things. Making new friends. Hopefully better than the last ones.