gwen was up early this morning.

she woke up at six a.m. with a bright smile on her face.

she jumped out off bed waking mark in the process.

"what happened?" mark asks as he saw gwen running into the bathroom.

"nothing happened. i'm just overly excited." gwen smiles turning on the shower.

"oh, right. today is your first day at work." mark sighs still not used for her to work again.

"you bet your ass it is." gwen yells from the shower. "it's my first day and i'm gonna kick the interns asses."

"i know you will." mark agrees stepping into the bathroom.

"i have to be quick can you take hailey to day care?" gwen asks stepping naked out of the shower.

but instead of answering mark just scanned his wifes body stopping at the scar on her chest.

gwen noticed his look immediatly turning around to hide before she took a towel.

she didn't like her scares and the fact that mark sees them when she's naked.

"you know, we have some time, maybe we can do something we haven't done in a while." mark smirks stepping closer.

"i have to go. really." gwen insisted moving past him to get dressed.

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gwen walked up to the nurses station to hear meredith ordering an intern around.

"you were suppossed to tell me when brian danziger's labs came back." meredith snaps at the intern, she knew her name is edwards.

"no, i thought i was supposed to tell dr.karev." edwards defends herself, but meredith looked her dead in the eye. "i should've told you, too. uh, brian danziger's labs are back."

"get away from me." meredith snaps and the intern did as told.

"oh, not fair. you are the scariest one." gwen complains walking up behind gwen with a cup of coffee in her hands. "that was always me who was scary and respected."

"you should have came back earlier." meredith teases her.

"i'll establish my dominance back." gwen says sitting down behind the desk. "maybe i'll use one of my classics."

"how's mark dealing with it?" meredith asks.

"he's okay with it. he has to be." gwen says making her sister-in-law chuckle when alex approaches them.

"brian danziger's sedated. his b.p.'s down a little." meredith informs him.

"yeah, tox screen's negative, his l.f.t.s and i.n.r. are elevated." alex adds. "did you get a good look at his liver?"

"oh, the prodigal gwen returns." jackson pops up from behind the corner. "we missed you."

jackson helped gwen and mark a lot after gwen woke up. he sometimes brought hailey to day care or picked her up.

"yes, hi. blah, blah. pleasantries." gwen dismisses him looking at the computer in front of her.

"hey, karev, when you buy mer's house, can i get my old room back?" jackson asks alex sitting down next to gwen.

"nope. no roomates." alex replies making jackson look at him. "we're not in college. we're real people now."

"wait, you're selling him your house?" gwen asks meredith.

"i might not, he wants me to rip out the floors." meredith tells her.

"i'll take the floors as is." jackson offers her when april joins them.

"jackson." she calls him.

"why don't you shack up with kepner? you guys are always hooking up anyway." alex teases them as jackson duck down to walk away without her seeing it.

"where is he going?" april asks.

"away from you. it seems." gwen blurts.

"dr.shepherd, glad you're back." april smiles.

"you still doing it with avery?" gwen asks smirking.

gwen knew about them because mark told her. he's pretty good at gossiping.

"does everybody know this now?" april asks getting slightly panicked.

"god and everybody." gwen chuckles.

"for four whole seconds i was glad you were back." april says before walking away gwen waving her goodbye.

"i'm gonna go to my patient." gwen says walking away as well.

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gwen got paged for a meeting with the lawyers before she could even reach the cardio wing.

so she sat in a conference room with mark, meredith, derek, callie and owen.

"at this point, it's about assessing these emotional damages. so, we'll need to hear everything." the doctor's rep informs them sitting down at the big table when cristina entered the room.

"you must be dr.yang. glad you could be here. have a seat." another lawyer, andy, greet her.

"dr.hunt, i guess you won't be necessary as proxy anymore." the doctor's lawyer told him.

"uh, i'm here more out of support for my staff." owen explains his arms crossed over his chest.

"yeah, i don't mind if he stays." derek spoke up.

"today, we'd like to get some statements about, continued physical, but also, mental or emotional difficulties you might have suffered since the crash." andy informs them.

"what if we don't have any?" cristina asks bored only wanting to get out of here.

"well, um, why don't we talk?" andy asks. "we'll see what comes up. almost anything can be helpful to monetize your injuries."

"how do we do that?" gwen asks.

"we use a formula." the doctor's rep said. "it's, uh, your medical bills, plus pain and suffering, equal to three times your medical bills, plus flat-rate hard-tissue injuries, plus loss of income, plus lost earning capacity, plus any other foreseeable harms, for each of you, so, we're talking about a sizeable award."

"far more substantial than the settlement they offered you." andy adds.

"where's all the money come from?" derek asks with furrowed brows.

"well, we're looking at the possibilities now." andy tells them. "uh, the charter company, aircraft manufacturer, parts manufacturers, the pilot, of course. the ground crew at sea-tac..."

"jerry? did you say jerry?" meredith asks.

"who's jerry?" he asks.

"the pilot." derek replies.

"he was up there with us." gwen adds. "he broke his back. he's paralyzed now."

"you're gonna go after him?" mark asks.

"well, if we find he was negligent, shouldn't we?" callie asks.

"you know, i'm sorry. i can't help. i've got no residual injuries, and i've gotta go run someone's service for them, so, you know, good luck." cristina says leaving the room.

"folks, listen, you have a special bond." the female lawyer spoke up. "you've been through something horrible and survived it together. but as far as the pilot is concerned, you need to stop thinking of him as one of you and start thinking of him as one of them."

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gwen stood at the nurses station together with cristina looking over a chart.

since cristina is a fellow now, she'll take over most of gwen's surgeries.

gwen was only there if she had questions or if it's a complicated procedure.

gwen was also there when the patient is a child.

"how are you feeling?" gwen asks her fellow.

"how should i feel?" cristina asks back with furrowed brows.

"i mean, are you nervous? because now your the leading surgeon in the o.r. and you're alone most of the time." gwen says as she wrote in her chart.

"i am not nervous. this is easy. i was leading surgeon in my residency." cristina shruggs.

gwen wasn't worried in the slightest that cristina isn't capable of doing this.

"i hope you have a great first day." gwen smiles.

"stop doing that." cristina only says when she saw two intern walking up to her.

gwen was the first who spoke up with a small smile on her face.

"i am dr.shepherd, head of cardio. i think you already meet dr.yang, my fellow." gwen introduced herself pointing to cristina next to her who was looking at the charts instead of the interns.

"good to see you back, dr.shepherd." the male intern says.

"thank you. and since dr.yang is in charge for the interns today i'm gonna leave the two of you with her." gwen says walking a few steps backwards.

"it's a privilege for me to work with you, dr.yang." the male one said again.

"have we meet?" cristina asks finally looking up not quite sure what the interns name is.

"um, sort of." the female intern replies. "you threw a vase full of flowers at our heads."

both intern chuckled a little.

"did i hurt you?" cristina asks.

"no." the female intern replies chuckling.

"well, there's still time." cristina replies making them stop chuckling.

gwen nodded looking down at the chart.

"i'm dr.ross." the male one introduced to cristina who didn't seemed to be excited with the interns.

"since many of you will wash out or be fired, i won't waste time learning your names for at least a year." cristina says making gwen chuckle. "i will call you by your dwarf names. you, happy." she said to ross before turning to the other one. "you, mousey."

"there wasn't a dwarf named mousey." the female intern said confused.

"they saved her for you." cristina smiles. "now get me up to speed. every patient, every chart. i want to know this floor better than you do."

"right." ross nods as the three walked away leaving a chuckling gwen.

this will be a great day for the interns.

it wasn't long until she felt two arms wrapping around her torso.

"how is your first day, babe?" mark asks her kissing her behind her ear.

"great, i've got nothing much to do since cristina is my fellow now. it's kinda boring." gwen sighs. "i thought i had at least one surgery today."

"you will. i'm sure your pager will beep any minute." he says. "and if not i have an other idea for you."

"and what is it?" gwen asks knowing what he means.

"we haven't done it in a while-" but mark got interrupted by gwen.

"i don't have time for this." gwen says turning around to face him.

"but you just said that-"

"i know what i said." gwen says looking at his chest.

"c'mon, i'm horny and you look extremely hot in scrubs." mark smirks leaning closer.

but gwen took a step back.

"i'm not in the mood." gwen tells him.

"did i do something? if yes, talk to me." mark says taking her hand. "what's wrong?"

gwen wanted to say something when a nurse walked up to her.

"dr.shepherd, your post-op aortic ulcer patient's coughing up blood." she informed the doctor.

gwen looked at mark before following the nurse.

"this is not over." mark shouts after her.

gwen walked into the patients room.

"suction. set up for intubation." gwen orders taking out her stesthoscop.

"what do you think it is?" the nurse asked gwen.

"could be a fistula. could be a dissection." gwen replies. "we won't know until we get more studies and open him up. get a repeat ct stat. prep on o.r. and page an intern. i need all hands."

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gwen stood in the o.r with ross and brooks.

"someone suction for me." gwen says.

"i'll do it." both interns said in unsion.

"wait. earn it." gwen says making them froze. "ross, what are we looking at on the scans?"

"it looks like a dissection in the ascending aorta with an aortobronchial fistula." he responds looking on the scans and then back at the attending.

"good." gwen smiles. "suction. brooks, why did i opt for an ensovascular repair of this ulcer?"

"i, uh... personal preference?" brooks stammers unsure.

"uh, patient's age and limited mobility." ross answers for brooks.

"oh, ross for the win." gwen says before looking down at the open patient again. "keep on suctioning. it's a good choice. but i've learned that sometimes, it's better to do things the old-fashioned way. brook, hold this back here, like this. good. what do we see here?"

"it looks like the stent tore through the aorta and bronchus." brooks responds this time.

"ooh, brooks coming up from behind." gwen says making her smile. "3-0 prolene. this is gonna be a mess."

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mark sat in the conference room to talk with the lawyers about his statement.

"so, dr.sloan, everything you have to say will help to push your payment as high as possible." the man in front of him explained to him.

mark sat there sighing.

"i can't sleep well." he simply says.

"that's all?"

"i can't sleep because if i sleep i dream about... about how my wife lies on my lap near death. i dream about standing over her body when she got unplugged. i watched her die right in front of my eyes!" he yells as tears brim in his eyes. "she's not my wife anymore. she's not the gwendolyn shepherd i fell in love with. she's scared of me and everything around her. she has nightmares. she wakes up and hides in the bathroom. no money will solve the fact that the day this plane crashed my wife wasn't there anymore. scares are covering her and my body. we have mental scares. so, no, i don't need any money, what i need is my wife back! i want my wife back."

mark broke down in tears at the thought of gwen's scared face when he touches her.

"she isn't feeling safe anymore around me." mark breaths out calming down.

"thank you, dr.sloan, that was really helpful."

mark nodded before leaving the room.

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after her surgery gwen stood at the nurses station, still with her scrub cap on.

she wrote in the chart when brooks and ross walked up to her.

"he's on the way to c.c.u. all vitals are stable." brooks informs her.

"dr.shepherd for the win. up top." ross smiles holding his hand up waiting for a high-five.

"uh-uh." gwen shoke her head. "good work today."

the interns smiled before rushing away.

"how was your first surgery?" callie suddenly asks from behind.

"i felt so good in a long time." gwen smiles. "how's arizona?"

"she's good. bailey really got her to come to the hospital today." callie said in disbelieve.

"that's a step forward. believe me, pushing isn't helping. on step at a time." gwen advises her best friend.

"i told the lawyers today that derek may never be operating again." callie blurts.

"you did?" gwen asks slightly shocked making callie nod. "wow. how did he take it?"

"you know derek, you can imagine how he took it." callie sighs leaning against the counter.

"i mean, it was your professional opinion. you can't change the fact." gwen says.

"i have to talk to the lawyers." callie says.

"why?"

"because i can change the fact." callie smiles walking away.

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gwen got paged to the conference room for another meeting.

she sat herself down next to mark smiling slightly at him taking his hands.

he stroke her tiny hand happy that she touches him without flinching.

"thank you all for your cooperation today. next step is for us to file a complaint against the parties." the doctor's rep tells them.

"can we leave the pilot out of this?" cristina asks once again. "the man is a paraplegic now."

"yeah, i agree." derek nods. "we should take him off the list."

"wait. no." callie protests. "what if he was drunk, or asleep..."

"no, we talked to him." gwen defends the pilot.

"dr.hunt, i'm gonna have to ask you to step out now." he doctor's rep told him. "this is only appropriate for the victims of the crash."

"oh." he sighs. "okay." then he left the room.

"folks, we're not going after the pilot." the doctor's rep informs them once the door is closed again. "we need to investigate him to make our case, but the damages we'll be seeking will be far greater than what that pilot could be accountable for. or the charter company, for that matter. we'll be going after the bigger fish. more and more, it's looking like the best strategy will be to look for fault with the hospital itself."

"boise?" gwen asks.

"no, this hospital." the doctor's rep corrected her. "the people who put you on that plane."

everyone was shocked then they looked outside staring at owen.

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after this chaotic day all gwen wanted to do was going home and sleep.

she picked up hailey and drove with her to the house.

mark had to stay a little longer because of a patient.

"goodnight, honey." gwen tells hailey kissing her forehead.

hailey yawned stretching out her tiny arms before sucking on her thumb.

gwen smiled stroking her daughters hair.

with all this things going on, gwen was more than happy to have her. she was calming her down.

gwen wished she could sleep so peacefully.

after closing the door to hailey's room she walked down the hall into the bedroom.

she stood infront if the mirror looking herself up and down.

she hated how the plane crashed changed the way she looked.

she took of her shirt to see a big scar on her chest and stomach.

these scars.

she hates them.

and the fact that people could possibly see them she hates even more.

slowly tears brimmed in her eyes.

she was so deep in thought that she didn't even realised that mark walked into the room.

he saw her standing in front of the mirror crying while stroking her scars.

he didn't really know what to do.

"i'm ugly." gwen suddenly said. "these scars are so ugly."

gwen turned around looking at her husband.

"you are so beautiful, gwen." mark assures her slowly walking closer.

"no, i'm ugly. look at me." she turned around again to look in the mirror.

mark walked slowly up behind her.

"you are so gorgeous, baby." mark repeats.

"i am marked with scars. nobody finds this attractive." gwen sobs.

mark's heart broke. gwen was the most beautiful woman he ever meet.

"this is why i didn't want sex. i didn't want you to see me naked." gwen cries.

"why didn't you tell me sooner?" mark asks worried.

"i thought if i tell you, you will search for someone else for sex. and i know you wouldn't cheat on me. deep down i knew but... i was scared." gwen explains.

"i will wait for you till forever. if you don't want to now then don't. i don't care. i love you and not just because if the sex." mark assures her. "these scars only show how strong you are. we survived something terrible but we're still here. hailey has both of her parents. you are strong and that is the only thing i can think of looking at those scars."

gwen smiled turning around.

she walked closer to him kissing him on his lips.

his hands immediatly find her waist while hers wrapped around his neck.

the kiss got more heated and only a second later mark was on top of her on the bed.

gwen took of his shirt.

she felt safe around him, so she didn't flinch when mark took of her jeans and underwear.

"we can wait if you want." mark reminds her.

"no, i want you." gwen whispers against his lips kissing him again.

mark smirked playing with her bra before taking it off. then he took both of her boobs in his hands.

she started kissing his neck sucking on it.

then they turned around so she was on top of him.

she took of his jeans and boxer.

"i've waited so long for you to do it to me again." mark grunts as gwen set herself down on his member.

she rode him long while both were moaning loud.

"oh, my god, mark, this is so good." gwen moans as she props her arms next to his head. "i'm about to cum-"

mark groaned while kissing her neck.

it was more than important for him that gwen is comfortable around him.

she trusts him and that makes him more than happy.

after she rode out their orgasms gwen collapsed next to him.

"you are my wife and i love you. don't think one moment that i would replace you." mark tells her kissing her forehead.

"i know." gwen smiles putting her head on his chest.