Sonny's EP was flying up the charts and he was being contacted about doing several remixes and help producing. I was happy for him and he was beyond excited to be working with so many new people. His career was exploding and he deserved all of it. 

I threw Kristen the baby shower of the century. It was good timing too because now we were planning for my birthday that was coming up in a month. Sonny's was right around the corner and he was flying home in a few days to celebrate with friends. 

As a twisted punishment for missing so much work, they gave the bottom of the pick events. It was making me mad that I wasn't doing much of anything significant and one of my bosses specifically shoots me dirty looks every time I show up to the office. So mature. I was at my breaking point where I was starting to shoot the same look back, which was incredibly unprofessional and mature but like I said, I was at my breaking point. 

My dad usually did the birthday planning with me. He thought birthdays were a big deal and they needed to be big. I agreed. My birthday, and maybe Christmas, are the only times I somewhat abuse the rich kid life. I worked hard all year though so I deserved one night, you know?

So after a shit day of work I decided to call my dad and go over some things. My birthday fell on a Friday this year which was perfect. 

We went over venue ideas and a guest list which consisted of a lot of pompous rich kids from close family friends but find me a rich kid that didn't love a good party so I knew a ton of people were going. 

What I was most excited was that Sonny was playing in Sacramento the night we were thinking about doing it so I knew he would have time to fly down here and catch the tail end of it. I called him after I finished up some things with my dad. He didn't answer which wasn't all that surprising so I shot him a text and told him to call me when he had the chance. 

"Hello?" I heard Todd's voice followed by the front door closing. 

"Hey. In here." I said from the kitchen table. He appeared in the walkway accompanied by Kristen. 

"What are you up to?" He asked as he opened the fridge. "You want anything to drink, babe?" 

"No thank you." Kristen said as she sat next to me at the table. 

"I'm planning my birthday." I explained.

"That's coming up soon!" He cracked open a soda and sat on the other side of me, across from Kristen. 

"Mhm." I hummed.

"What if the baby comes on the same day?" He laughed. Kristen's due date was about a week after my birthday. I know it was supposed to be funny but the idea kind of annoyed me. I felt terrible for getting annoyed by that but I couldn't help myself. 

Kristen stood up and announced she was going to bed early since she was tired. Todd got up to help her and I felt like vomiting at how adorable they were. They were totally in love which was great since they were having a kid together. 

I changed out of my work clothes and went back to my laptop at the kitchen table. I already had a gift set up for Sonny so I checked on the status on that since it was a custom order and then I went back to planning my party. I was putting lists together and checking on all the little details. I clearly was so wrapped up in my planning I didn't even notice the time until I got a text and my phone lit up. 

"You up?" From Sonny. It was currently 3:40 in the morning. How had I not noticed the time at all?

"Yes." I sent back and my phone was ringing shortly after. 

"Hey." I answered.

"Why are you always up so late?" He asked with a snicker. 

"I couldn't tell you." I sighed. 

"What's up?" He asked and I couldn't tell if it was a "why'd you call me what's up?" or a "what's wrong what's up?". I went with the safer option.

"I'm planning my birthday party." I told him. 

"I'm assuming it's going to be big?" He asked.

"Of course. It's my birthday!" I explained to him all that I was thinking of doing and deep down I knew he really could care less about all the details but I felt like I needed to tell someone everything, like I was verifying it all. "And the best part is you can totally come. You're playing in Sacramento that night but you'll have plenty of time to fly down here and arrive just when it's getting good." 

He was quiet for a minute which made me nervous. 

"I don't know if I can get down there for that. It's a little last minute." He said.

"Why? It's all on me. No planning on your part." I told him. 

"I'm confused." I rolled my eyes. (In case you haven't noticed me rolling my eyes is obviously a nasty habit of mine) 

"I've got a plane ready."

"I don't know if I'm comfortable with that." He was still being hesitant.

"Seriously, Sonny?" I hated myself for sounding so whiny. "The only thing I want is for you to show up." I suddenly felt like crying. 

I heard him sigh and there was another pause. "Okay." He finally said quietly. 

I don't know what came over me but I was suddenly completely overwhelmed by everything. 

"I have to go." I told him and I hung up before he could say anything. I felt like the room was closing in on me and I needed to get out ASAP. I grabbed my purse and bolted for my car. My phone was ringing but I completely ignored it. 

When I turned my car on I took a second to slow myself down. I was breathing heavy and I didn't know why. I pulled out of the parking lot and was driving around with the windows down letting the cold air slap me out of whatever was happening to me. 

I found myself in a poorly lit parking lot of a gas station. Everything about this said bad idea but I was the only one there so it wasn't a concern to me at the moment. 

I ended up buying a pack of menthol's and a lighter. I got back in my car and ripped off the plastic and my hands were shaking as I opened the box. I pulled a smoke out putting it between my lips and my hands were still shaking when I lit it. 

My phone rang from my purse in the passenger seat and I ignored it again. I drove home in silence while smoking. I threw the pack in my purse with the lighter and made my way back inside. The thought of sitting down in front of my computer again made me start to breathe heavy again so I went in the kitchen in the very back of a cupboard we don't really use and pulled out an ashtray and I made my way to our little porch balcony thing. It was so small all it had was one high top stool and a high up little table to match it. I threw all my stuff on the ground and sat down putting the ashtray on the table. I pulled the pack and lighter out along with my phone. I lit another smoke and decided to call Sonny back since that's who had been repeatedly calling me. I put it on speaker and set it on the table letting it ring. 

"What the hell, Baylee." He answered. 

"Sorry." Was all I said taking a drag. 

"What happened?" He asked. 

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." I put my elbows on the table and my head in my hands looking down at my phone, careful not to let the cigarette hit my hair. 

"Seriously? That's all you're going to say?" He was annoyed. 

"Yes, that's all I'm going to say." I looked up at the sky taking a big drag letting it burn my lungs. The sky was getting lighter but not enough for the sun to come up anytime soon. 

"What's wrong?" He said softer this time.

"Nothing, Skrilly. Don't worry about it." I repeated. 

"Is this about me coming because I told you I would." 

"I know. It's not about that. It's not about anything. Just don't worry about it." I said for the third time.

"Stop telling me to not worry about it." 

"Sorry." I repeated again. 

"What the fuck is wrong, Bay?" 

"Nothing!" I shouted and I had the biggest urge to punch something. I was shaking again and I put the cig in the ashtray and tangled my fingers in my hair as my forehead rested in my palms. I was heavy breathing again and I couldn't stop the tears from slipping out of my eyes. 

"I'm hanging up now." I told him before I fucking lost it. 

"Baylee." He said in almost a whisper.

"Sonny. Please." I was crying a lot harder now.

"Okay. Call me in the morning, please." 

"Yeah sure. Bye." I hung up and choked on a huge sob. I put my head down and cried until the sun came up. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore and the worst part about it was I had no idea what I was so upset about. 

I checked the time as I made my way inside. I threw my purse right by the door not really caring and made my way to bed. I had work in about three hours which I knew was going to be hell. I texted Maggie knowing she would be asleep still asking if she wanted to get her nails done after work today and that I was wiling to drive to her this time since she lived a bit away.

I fell asleep for what felt like seconds before my alarm was going off. Just the sound of it was enough to make me want to cry once again. I showered and got ready and left in a daze. Maggie responded saying she was game and for me to drive up anytime after three. I texted Sonny instead of calling me saying I was fine and had work so I couldn't talk. 

I met Maggie after the longest day of work to get our nails done. We gossiped and I told her about last night because I felt like I needed to tell someone. She said I was probably just over stressed about work and the party. I knew that wasn't it but I appreciated her input.  

I drove home tired as hell and passed out as soon as I made it home. Sonny was coming home in a few days so I knew I needed to deal with him and whatever last night was but I was too tired to concern myself with that right now. 

"Baylee." Todd was knocking on my bedroom door but I was too tired to say anything so I ignored him until he went away and slipped into a dreamless sleep.