I'm a bum now. I wanted to look for a job but I'm afraid of interviews. Gosh, why haven't I overcome this fear? After graduating two years ago, I only had one job, it was English Instructor to Koreans and Japanese. I'm not an Education graduate and I despised being a teacher when I was a student but see? I ended up teaching English to foreigners for almost ten months.

I don't have a stable job. My family and friends always remind me to find one already. But what kind of job do I fit in? Well, not IT related things cause I don't trust my knowledge about it. Yes, I'm an IT graduate but I'm afraid I already forgot about programming and any related stuff.

Now I'm in the middle of choosing what career to should I take. I don't know lots of things. I'm not even comfortable in teaching. I'm afraid of class observation and so far I haven't observed yet. I don't think I will look for a teaching job any longer. I want something new and a job not far from home. I tend to miss my family all the time. I don't think I'm ready to work abroad. I'm so emotional and tend to miss home often. I realized I should overcome this.

I have been a bum for almost two months now. I'm not tired of staying at home yet but I'm growing old and it will be hard to find a job if I stay like this for too long. There are fresh graduates every year who are more capable of doing many things and who are better than me. Competing with them isn't easy. I only have teaching experience and no other important skills.

Making my passion a profession is also another story. I realized being a writer isn't easy as what I think. Yes, I can write but there are also other very good writers out there battling to occupy the industry. I hate competing. I'd rather stay at home reading and daydreaming.

If you are reading this now. You would think that I'm a coward twenty-two year old lass. It seems I'm afraid to face the real world. I have a very low self-esteem. I'm imprisoned to a world of illusion. You know, I do envy my friends who have jobs and have found careers and professionals now while I'm here struggling to overcome my fear and living a poor life.

Yuchae Moon

March 18, 2016