Dear diary
It is my third week out of the lab. I have no one to talk to about how I feel apart from dustin but i still can't really tell him the full truth of what happened. I feel guilty like I have blood on my hands. Each time I close my eyes to sleep I just remember him.

Suddenly my bedroom door opened banging against the wall.

"DUSTIN"

He looked as if he had been running around and his face was pale. "I need your help" oh god what has he done now?

"mom is obviously spending the night with Karen AGAIN and will has invited me around" my brows furrowed wondering how he was going to word his next sentence.

"if you cover for me I will do your homework for a week" he was giving me his puppy eyes which I would never fall for, they where just too funny.

"fine" he raised his arms cheering and skipped happily back to his room. "but" I laughed at the sudden stop in his tracks. "el and max want to hang out next week so you have to cover for me then. Deal?"

"deal" he moaned from the corridor.

It was now around 8pm. The trees outside whipped against the window leaving me on edge. I was doing the catch up work for school but I just couldn't concentrate. I was too tired my eyelids felt as if they had a thousand pound weights on them.

"great" I sighed closing my book and climbing into bed.
It was more comfy than usual. Like laying on a cloud or what I thought laying on a cloud would feel like. But before I could get up and turn my lamp off I felt my eyes close and my body relax.

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It felt as if I had been asleep for only a couple of minutes before I wasn't as sleepy and opened my eyes. But I wasn't in my room. Goosebumps covered my arms and my chest raised quickly as I took in a nervous deep breath. i decided to sit up but as i did my head spun.

"where the hell am i?"my voice bounce off of the walls causing a echo in the small room. i wrapped my arms around myself as the panic coursed through my veins. "Papa?" i whisper shouted. 

"youre safe. papa isnt here" my body jolted at the sudden noise. i turned my head toward the corner where the voice came from to make a shocking discovery. "oh my god peter" i rushed out of bed over to him, stumbling slightly. i felt the butterflies ignite in my stomach once again. it had been so long since i had been held by him and even longer since i had his scent fill my nostrils. i took in a breath the usual mix of sandalwood and vanilla overwhelmed my senses bringing tears to my eyes.

i felt my body being slightly pushed as he guided me to bed. he sat opposite me, grazing his thumb on the back of my hand. its almost like we couldnt take our eyes off of each other, like we where savouring the moment. i reached out my Non occupied hand and skimmed my thumb over his cheek. his face was soft against my thumb almost like a cotton ball. something suddenly caught my eye in the corner of the room. i whipped my head around to see what it was. i didnt know what i was expecting but it was not this. 

a camera perched in the corner of the room, its red-light flashing giving me an unwanted anxiety. and once again my eyes where hooked to something. this time it wasnt mesmerizing and calming like peter. "shh shh" my gaze turned back to him most of the anxiety leaving my body. "are we in the lab?". he slowly nodded his head. "but papa is not here. its just us. "lay down y/n" he commanded causing butterflies to come again. 

"pet-"

he hushed me, slowly laying me down on my back. i felt his hand leave my back, reaching up and running his hand through my hair.

"i know you havent been the happiest recently..." he took in a breath looking me up and down. almost admiring me. "so i want to make you happy, make you feel good"  i swallowed hard at his statement. 

he climbed on top of me, pressing his lips against my forehead. my breath catching in my throat. i instantly squeezed my thighs together as i started to feel myself grow wet. "how is thi re-" he suddenly placed a finger on my lips stopping me from saying another word. "you dont have to worry at this moment or ask any questions" he snickered at what he was about to say. "just concentrate on how good i make you feel" his voice was raspy in my ear. 

he lowered his hips closer to mine as he kissed just below my ear. my hips bucking unconsciously catching me off guard. i felt his lips leave my neck making his way to my collar bones, leaving a trail of wet kisses. he stopped at my lower torso looking back up to me. he looked like a god. like a man who was written by a woman. perfect.

he trailed his fingers up and down my inner thigh. it was slightly tickling me which caused me to squirm under his touch. i was trying so hard not to squeeze my thighs together. all this pleasure caused my head to spin. i couldnt think straight. "peter youre d-" i couldnt get anymore words out when i felt his lips collide with my thighs. i knew i had my questions but i didnt want to stop him it felt so good.

each time he stopped kissing my thighs he would look up at me in amusement as i would squirm beneath him. i guess it has something to do with him wanting to see what he could do almost like he was proud of himself. i felt him tug at my underwear as he looked up at me for permission. i just nodded it was all i could manage to do. "no, please use your words love" i rolled my eyes. "please make me feel good" my words came out between a gasp and a moan causing peter to smirk. "good girl"

oh my fucking god. what did he just say?" 

he pulled my underwear down my legs slowly. i shuddered at the feeling. he lowered his head between my thighs and i instantly felt his warm breath brush against my center. i felt myself throbbing just begging for his touch. before i could prepare myself his tongue met my clit, trailing slow circles. "p-please" i was so out of breath already and he had only just started. i felt him chuckle against me causing me inhale sharply. i didnt know what to do with my hands so i just grabbed his hair, tugging on small pieces. 

i heard him try to muffle his grunts which just turned me on even more. "you like that?" i asked doing it again. then suddenly he clasped down in my clit with his teeth, i covered my mouth as i moaned. peter then gripped my wrist slowly pulling my hand away from my mouth. "i want to hear how good i make you feel". i felt my lower stomach tense and i squeezed my thighs together, slightly squeezing his head. 

he started to suck on my clit occasionally running his tongue over it. i felt that warmth build in my stomach, i knew i was soon going to release. my moans sounded more like an animal rather than a human, but i couldnt help he was a natural. i pulled on his hair harder and harder but he didnt stop me it was almost like he liked it. suddenly i felt my stomach tense but before i could have my much-wanted climax peter pulled away. kissing my thighs and smirking he knew what he was doing. "peter please" my words basically a whisper. "well because you were a good girl and said please" he kissed my thigh once again making me let out a breathy moan. "I'll let you cum". 

my eyes rolled as my eyes fluttered just by hearing him say it in a sentence. he leaned back down just centimetres away from my clit. he started to lick my folds, pushing my squeezing thighs out of the way. i tilted my head, all this teasing was too much. as i opened my eyes i was met with peters. all different shades of blue, so mesmerising i found myself getting lost in them. "what are you doing?" one corner of his lips lifted as he smirked at my question. "i want to watch your face when i make you cum" he leaned down to my ear. "i want to see the shock and how you lose control" 

my stomach sunk at his words, not in the usual bad way but in a good way a really good way. 

i felt his thumb meet my clit going in small circles. his two middle fingers teasing at my entrance. suddenly i felt my stomach tense and my hips push up. "peter im go-" just then i let out a noise between a moan and a squeal, peters chuckle filling my ears as i calmed down. he laid next to me in the small bed wrapping his arms around me. i felt his heart beating in my ear and the feeling of his chest rising and falling was so settling. i couldnt help but close my eyes i just felt as if i was in heaven.  "im sorry love" i felt my brows furrow but i was too sleepy to open my eyes and look up at him. "i have to go" he placed a kiss on my forehead.

i jolted up. i felt as if i had just had that weird thing when you are falling asleep and you feel like your falling. 

"oh my god" i whispered. i felt my bed sheets to make sure i was truly awake this time. i turned over a screamed into my pillow. luckily i had been home alone. was i dreaming? had it all been fake? had i longed for peter so desperately that i was dreaming about him? but it felt to real to be a dream, too detailed. i had had dreams like that before but they had never been like that. they were usually so random, like id be in the middle of a desert with some random guy who had visited papa in the lab having a picnic but they were never like that. 

i stood up and that when i felt the beating between my legs. i knew it was a good orgasm but not that intense. just my luck. the most intense and pleasurable orgasm had just been a dream. i brushed my hair out of my face and made my way downstairs to get a glass of water.