Alicia had sent me so many different options for a house, and I looked through them all on my flight to London. One caught my eye. It was close to the edge of the city, with two pools, a gym, and several big bedrooms. A bit over the top, but it looked nice inside and it was the vacation house I had been looking for. I could live there full time, there was even space for a recording studio in the basement.

I could live there.

Odette
The fifth one looks good, but maybe you could schedule a viewing for most of them? You know which ones I mean.

Alicia
I'll do my best, and I can send you the dates for when to look at them.

Odette
You truly are the best Alicia, and you are coming to the photoshoot with me, right?

Alicia
I wouldn't dare to do anything else!

London looked amazing. I saw it while I landed, and it was a big city. Not that I hadn't been here before. This spring I was here for two weekends while performing, but I barely had any time to look around. I could have stayed during the week, but I needed to visit my mother who was sick in cancer. She got declared healthy, and the cancer was gone. But it was difficult for me to be on tour and not able to help her with anything. I hired a live-in nurse for her, just to make sure that she survived, and I visited as often as I could.

I was happy that she was healthy now, it meant that I could live my life without worrying about her. I still worried about the cancer returning and spreading, but it was better now when the looming cloud was not over her head.

Alicia
A lot of papers want an interview with you about your sudden interest in football. Can you do one?

Odette
Girlie I know nothing about football, and it feels wrong.

Alicia
Totally get that Odette. I'll turn them down for you.

Odette
They are only interested in that because I started to attend games. In a few months they won't care anymore.

Alicia
Media can be annoying sometimes, but you know better than me about that.

Alicia
Have you landed yet?

Odette
I have. I am on my way to the hotel right now.

Alicia
There is a package waiting for you on the bed. Markus checked it out, so it is safe.

Great. Someone had sent me a package, which meant people knew where I was going to stay. Journalists would flood the place in no-time.

Mapi
My jersey is waiting for you in your hotel room. Now you have no excuse not to wear it on Friday.

Odette
You will see me looking stylish then Mapi.

Mapi
Better than you look in Alexia's jersey.

Odette
What would Alexia say if she saw that you wrote that?

Mapi
She doesn't mind. And she will never know. Keep this between us?

Odette
Always!

It was delightful to know that it was Mapi who had left the package, or she had someone leave it for her. The press did not know where I was, paparazzi would not storm the hotel, at least not for a couple of days.

The drive there was not long, and the room was great. Bigger than the hotel rooms I had lived in when I visited Alexia to watch her games.

Alicia arrived before me and checked into her own room, next to mine. When I arrived, I checked in and walked upstairs into the room. I was lucky to have enough money to do this. Who knows? Maybe I would meet someone nice here in London. A new friend. People seemed to like me, and I liked most people.

Alexia
Have you arrived in London yet? We are leaving for the airport now to fly there. Not that we are staying in London, but Milton Keynes is less than a two-hour trip from you.

Odette
I landed about an hour ago and I am now sitting in the hotel room. Today I am going to explore the city with Alicia and tomorrow I was thinking about going to the gym in the hotel. What do you think?

Alexia
That sounds lovely. We will just have training. Jorge has us on this sick schedule where all we do is practice. It is so annoying, and I can feel how bad it is for my body.

Odette
That is so annoying! And you have to listen to what he says? Even though it feels bad for your body?

Alexia
Yeah, he is our coach.

Odette
Do you have any free time leading up to the game? We can go out for coffee and talk.

Alexia
I would love that. Maybe in four days?

Odette
I'll save the date.

I went out for lunch at a restaurant close by. Alicia joined me, with Markus and his crew walking behind, close enough to intervene if something went wrong.

The restaurant was small and cosy, with big windows and plants. They only served salads, and I ate one with feta cheese, pomegranate, lemon, and hummus. Alicia went for a simple Caesar salad; she also had a glass of white wine while I was comfortable with a glass of water. People always thought I had some extravagant taste in drinks, but in reality, I only drank water and lemonade.

We had a light conversation during our lunch. She teased me mercilessly for wanting to buy a house in Barcelona, especially since everything had started when I talked to Alexia. "You should tell her how you feel Odette" Alicia said. Her words were sincere, she wanted what was best for me. "I like our dynamic at the moment, and me telling her about my feelings for her is just wrong" I answered her with a shrug of my shoulders.

"I have seen the pictures Odette, and I am working every single day to keep them away from the internet. She must like you as much as you like her" she answered, a smile covered her face. She was more than a manager to me, a friend. Every day she worked her ass of for me, and then she returned home to her two daughters. I had no idea how she survived and how her family survived. Her family was closer than mine was, with a dad that I never talked to. Her husband was amazing, and I wished that I could live as her daughters.

She showed me around London. Having made an itinerary for us. The day ended with shopping, and I returned home with several bags filled with new clothes. I had a small obsession, and some of it was even bought sustainably in the cities second hand shops.

Odette
I bought clothes. Want me to show you?

Alexia
I need a fashion show. FaceTime in 5?

Odette
Free now?

Alexia
Yes! I'll call.

I spent the next hour showing Alexia what I had bought. Most of the time was spent in my underwear, trying to get the clothes on. She cheered me on as I showed her, strutting around in the hotel room. Showing her the clothes from all angles possible.

"You could be a fashion model if you wanted to" Alexia said with a laugh. "Con quién hablas?" I heard from the other end of the phone. "Hablo con Odette. Muestra la ropa que compró" Alexia responded. I had no idea what they were talking about, since I didn't understand Spanish. "I think you should speak in English so I can also be included in the conversation" I said, and they listened.

Now, I had another person to show my clothes. The same routine happened again, with me standing in my underwear when I desperately tried to put the clothes on. There were so many times where I yelled "don't look" because I almost flashed them. Not the best thing I had ever though of.

We talked as I got ready for the night. Mapi bullied me for the long routine. "At least I have perfect skin" I retorted. Alexia could barely contain her laughter as Mapi blushed bright red from embarrassment.

I fell asleep quickly that night, and in the morning, I ate breakfast in my room. Alicia had left to go back home to her family. I was alone.

Today I went to the gym, working on my strength and ran until my legs gave out. I returned to my room, totally beaten up. I didn't know why that felt necessary, but in that moment it did feel necessary.

I sat down in the shower, letting the water fall over my head. It almost felt like drowning, and the rain falling on top of me. I felt free. Inspiration hit me and I walked out of the bathroom, soaking wet from the shower and wearing nothing.

Rain came pouring down
When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe
And by morning
Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud
But no one heard a thing

A part of a new song and I could continue my shower. Papers like that was everywhere in my apartment. With parts of songs when I had gotten inspiration in the moment. I could continue writing that later, if I ever had time for it.

Odette
How was practice?

Alexia
My muscles is so sore. He makes us work too hard. No one enjoys being under his command, especially Mapi. He hates her so much.

Odette
That is so bad. Should I come talk to him? I can be pretty persuasive!

Alexia
You should not, but I love having your support!

Odette
I did a killer workout today and the found inspiration while I was showering. New song alert!

Alexia
You need to let me hear it. And you need to tell me how the photoshoot goes tomorrow.

Odette
Yeah. But the prep is the absolute worst. No sodium and low carbs the day before. I miss my bread!

Alexia
That is worse than the diet I am on.

OdetteIt is only for a day.

I continued to write the lyrics; everything fell into place. I took parts from my childhood and placed them in the song, trying to be poetic.

After a long day I had a first draft, maybe even a finished song. I was proud.

The drought was the very worst
(Oh-oh, oh-oh)
When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst
It was months and months of back and forth
(Oh-oh, oh-oh)
You're still all over me
Like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore

Hung my head as I lost the war
And the sky turned black like a perfect storm

Rain came pouring down
When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe
And by morning
Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

There was nothing left to do
(Oh-oh, oh-oh)
When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room
So I punched a hole in the roof
(Oh-oh, oh-oh)
Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you

The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud
But no one heard a thing

Rain came pouring down
When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe
And by morning
Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

I think I am finally clean
(Oh, oh) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh
Said, I think I am finally clean
(Oh, oh) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh

Ten months sober, I must admit
Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it
Ten months older, I won't give in
Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it

The drought was the very worst
(Oh-oh, oh-oh)
When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst
(Oh)

Rain came pouring down
When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe
And by morning
Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean

Rain came pouring down
When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe
And by morning
Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean

Finally clean
Think I'm finally clean (oh, oh)
Oh-oh, oh-oh
(Oh, oh, oh) Think I'm finally clean

I could play it for Alexia tomorrow. No, I had the shoot. The day after tomorrow would have to do. The fifth of June. Three days before the start of the Euros. 

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Guess what happens in the next chapter?

Been incredibly busy with school and Högskoleprovet which I did today. I'm hopiing for anything over 1.7, but we'll see how it went in a month. 

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