Ezra Montgomery
Tuesday, January 15, 2019
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

chapter seven- the incident that shall not be mentioned

      "EZRA, YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" My mom shouts through the halls, shaking the penthouse. I ignore her, pulling the covers over my head not wanting to budge.

My mom doesn't attempt to get me up again. Ever since the incident, she only spoke to me when absolutely necessary. She tip toed around me, like I would break at any second. I think she took the incident personal. I wish I could tell her that it wasn't her fault, I wish I could apologize for being selfish, but everytime I mentioned it, it was brushed under the rug and ignored.

My family ignored a lot of things, throwing me into expensive therapy in hopes that I could be fixed, that I could be normal, extraordinary Ezra again. What my family didn't know is that's what caused the incident, wearing a constant facade was draining. I honestly didn't know who I was as a person, If someone asked me to say something that I liked or what I was into, I couldn't answer.

I know what people like to hear, I've rehearsed it long enough. I know what my family wants me to be, I recite the rehearsed script in my head. My name is Ezra Montgomery (that much is true), I want to grow up and be like mommy and daddy, a job that is guaranteed success, maybe a lawyer, or real estate agent, a doctor, politician, something along those lines. If I don't go Ivy, i'd might as well kill my self. A state college isn't good enough.

I remember two years ago, my cousin, Penelope got accepted to Stanford University, the Stanford University. But it wasn't good enough, because it wasn't an Ivy, everyone in my family lineage has attended an Ivy.

I didn't want to go to a pretentious Ivy League, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go to college at all.

I finally decide to rise from my bed with a groan. I was going to be late, but I always was, and I didn't care then, so why should I now?

As I slipped on my uniform, I realized that there were some things that I liked. I liked writing, I liked skateboarding with my best friend, Chance, I liked smoking, I liked to have sex, I liked Astrid....sometimes. I also liked Nora. I wonder if she made it to school on time.

After I finish getting ready, I exit my room, met with an empty luxurious house, save for my family dog Bentley. Bentley who is as old as dirt, looks me in the eyes and rolls over on his tummy, I give in, crouching downing giving the old man a few belly rubs, before exiting the apartment.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When I finally arrive on campus, it's a ghost town, everyone's in their classes, save for the few that roam the halls, on bathroom breaks.

I stop at my locker, to retrieve my Renaissance Literature textbook. I then take the walk of shame, to my class. I pull the door open and everyone gawks and stares at me. In the crowd I see Astrid shoot me a half glance, pissed at me as usual.

My best friend, Chance offers me a glance like he's mad at me too. That's strange, I think to myself, sitting down beside him. The teacher did not bother to utter a word to me, she was used to my late cameos.

As the class goes on, I hear the whispers and feel the stares. It was inevitable, I was certain I wasn't going to escape the scandal for the rest of my miserable life. I heard some of what they said, it was cruel and mean. I tried to ignore, that's what Dr. V says anyways. They're just trying to get a reaction out of you. Dr. V's voice rings through my head.

I sink down into my seat, head down, nose in my textbook, until the class ended.

"I think you blew it this time, Ez," Chance says, leaning on desk above me, as I packed my backpack up.

"What did I do now?" I say with genuine confusion. I didn't think I had done anything recently, could Astrid have found out about Nora? What was there to find out? We were just friends.

Chance looks at me surprised. I rise from the desk, and we both exit the classroom, shuffling through the crowded halls.

"Have you not checked your phone all morning?"

I pause in my stride briefly, to fish out my phone, skimming off my notifications. I pause at a text from Nora and try not to smile, feeling Chance's eyes on me.

The rest of the notifications are from Astrid and Chance.

Astrid: wtf ezra

Astrid: are you kidding me i look like a fcking idiot rn

Astrid: you forgot

Chance: bro where are you at

Chance: i think astrid is going to break up w you tbh 😬

Astrid: don't bother responding back. i no longer want to run for the snowball court with you, i'll be running with someone else.

Astrid: i also want to break up

My heart skips a beat, because holy shit...i'd forgotten. Today was the pep rally for the Winter Ball Court. Astrid and I had won Snow King and Queen the past three years. This was important to her and I completely ruined it.

Just like I ruined everything.

"Fuck," I moan out, searching the halls for her. I ditch Chance to find her, shoving passed people, the one minute bell rung, clearing the halls a bit.

I spotted Astrid's red ponytail in the middle of the hallway. She was giving out baked goods to win votes. She wore a big fake smile, for the classmates that she'd bully or manipulate any other day, but today she wore her nice popular girl persona.

I approached her and before I could utter out a word, she shot me daggers.

"How could you?" three simple words, one question.

It made my blood boil some how, anyways. Astrid made it seem like my depression was in spite of her, like I was doing all this on purpose. Didn't she know I was not okay?

"Astrid, I truly am sorry, for everything really," I begin, her face softens a little as I continue.

"I have not been the best boyfriend, or friend or really the best at anything right now, and for that I apologize, it's not you. I just...don't feel like the same Ezra you used to know and i'm...i'm trying to figure it out, so please bare with me,"

She nods her head, red ponytail twirling, the late bell rings as she stares at me. "We can figure it out together,"

I stare down at my feet, trying to hold back my response, but it comes out anyways. "I think i'd like to do it alone, if you don't mind,"

Her face is unreadable, her lips thin, for once she is speechless, if only for a moment. It's not like we haven't been on again, off again for the past three years.

"Is there someone else?" she asks. "What, you don't love me anymore?"

I give her a perplexed look. "No, there's no one else,"

"So what the hell were you doing out so late...at 24 hour cookies?" she whisper yells at me, in the empty hallway.

My cheeks go bright red and I cross then uncross my arms, feeling awkward and dumb. "I was restless," I lie.

I couldn't tell Astrid about Nora. I completely forgot that Astrid and I shared our location with each other, but why was she checking it in the middle of the night? Did she suspect something from me.

"You're lying, Ezra," She was holding back tears, they were pooling in her blue eyes, yet she still kept the mean look on her face.

In all my years of knowing Astrid, I had only seen her cry three times; once when her Nana passed, second when she'd lost her diamond earrings at Sodus Point Bay and now.

My stomach twisted and turned because I was the one making her suffer. I didn't like people feeling the way I felt.

Astrid continues, glossy eyed. "You don't think i'm stupid, I know there's a girl, Ezra," she starts. "I can tell, you've been....different...even more different than the accident."

"She's just a friend," I begin, ruffling my hair, feeling uncomfortable in my own clothes and body. "Astrid...it wasn't an accident, you can stop calling it that,"

"It was an accident, because I refuse to believe that you would do something so disgustingly selfish," The tears are rolling now, she points a manicures finger at my chest.

All the tearless years were catching up, she always acted like she didn't care for me and now...it actually seemed like she genuinely loved me. Or maybe she thought she loved me. No one could genuinely, love me, this was a realization i'd made at a young age. People tolerate me, people pine over me, they lust for me, like me even, but to love me?

"It wasn't about anyone or anything, it was about me Astrid, me and how I didn't want to spend anymore of my time on this useless world,"

"You didn't even leave a letter, a note....anything.....you would have been completely gone , and now you're just parading around like everyone's against you, like...like everyone exists to make your life miserable."

She's not done, her finger is still pointing at my chest and her words are cutting deep into my heart and I cannot open my mouth. I just stand there while she cry's and yells at me because it's what I deserve.

"But what about the misery you cause, Ezra?" she says, lowering her voice and her finger, looking down at her boots. "I know you're hurting, I know, Ezra you don't think I see it every time you look at me, you blame me for part of your suffering, i'm sorry," she says.

"This....friend of yours....I can tell she's making you feel a little like yourself again. Maybe don't fuck it up with her," she mumbles, and with that she strides away.

I call after her, but she ignores me. Good for her, I think, she just dropped a lot of dead weight.

a/n
unedited and super rushed
how do we feel about astrid? i never intended her to be a villian and hope she doesn't come off as such she's just a scorpio 😿