Why is it that I am fascinated by death?

Why do I always picture my death?

Am I seeing that my end is near?

Is this going to be my last goodbye?

I always wondered why I felt this

I don't want this to be my goodbye

I want to keep making more memories

Yet, why does this all feel like a dream?

Why does everything seem so fake these days?

Why are these thoughts drowning me?

Are my accomplishments fake?

Have I gone insane?

I just don't want to leave yet

I don't want to say goodbye

I want to keep making more memories

And meeting new stars

I want to stop feeling suffocated

And feel alive and free

But what can I do

When my thoughts consume me?

What can I do with all this uncertainty?

I don't even know what day it is anymore

I don't feel motivated to do anything

I just want to sleep

And never wake up

But just know I'm not leaving yet

Because I am not ready to let go

And definitely not ready to say goodbye

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Bacardi was getting to me at this point. All those quarantine thoughts kept eating me up inside, so the only was to detox was by writing <3