"He was brave and strong and broken all at once"

The psychiatry Doctor Champ with Gulf's best friend Techno comes into Gulf's room. Techno gives Gulf's mom his best hug, and Doctor Champ greeted with his wai to Gulf's dad.

"Hey, dude. are you okay? Sorry, I just come back from Hongkong to take care of something" Techno come closer to his friend.

 Gulf just nodding his head and smiles slightly, his left hand caressing the other.

"Where is Mew?" Asked Techno to Gulf.

"He went to grab some food, he didn't get something to food from yesterday" His Dad answered Techno, and Gulf remains silent. He knows this is not the usual of his friend, he takes his step and sits down with Gulf's mom.

" How are you, Gulf?" asked Doctor Champ come closer.

"hm"

"Your doctor just informs me if you woke up, so I come here to see you"Gulf still in his silent "I want to tell you something" this time Gulf stared at him, "your condition is not good, your emotion is not stable enough. Are you remember when I said your condition will get worse if you hurt yourself" 

"I know" He replied, and back to stared nothing

"Let's start the treatment, but maybe this time will be longer than before. Don't worry, you have your parents, and Mew who will be beside you like always" Doctor Champ patted his shoulder.

"Let's go No. I think Mom and Dad need some time to discuss with Gulf" He asked Techno to go out from this room.

"How..."This word stopped their step, and make them turn to Gulf" How long I need to recover this time?"

Doctor Champ smiled, "maybe will take over 4 months, it depends on your will"

"You sure can heal him, right?" asked Techno on their way back, "He isn't the friend that usually I talked with

" Don't worry, he will be fine. He has Mew. You know it very well, Mew is his everything"

Both of them are back, Doctor Champ brings some documents and Techno brings bucket flowers. But when they come into that room, the atmosphere is very different. Gulf's dad is embracing him, and Gulf's mom just holds her tears behind Gulf.

"Mom, what happened?" asked Techno.

"I broke up with him" Gulf answered with his tremble voice

"what?! Are you crazy?" Techno shouted right behind Gulf, "Look at me, you asshole!!"'

Doctor Champ tries to calm him down, Gulf's parents bring Techno to go out with them. The way Techno shouted at him like, that is because he knows. He knows it well. How to struggle Gulf, how to struggle his love story and his anxiety. When Gulf in the lowest desire to live happily he came, he saves his best friend and stays beside him until now. Mew is the right person at the right time for Gulf, he even said won't ever let him go and will be giving his all for Mew. But now, he who the one asked to break up

"So, Gulf can I see you?" 

No answer. Gulf just nodding slightly. Doctor champ turns the wheelchair to face him. This is the first time he saw Gulf in his tears, not because of his anxiety, but in his losing part of him. Nothing. No word can be said. He hugged him to comfort him."Why are you broke with him if you are in much pain like this?"

"He suffers" Gulf answered trembly, "he is suffering more than me"

"But that is Mew's will"

"He will lose everything if we are still together while I'm on treatment. He will keep beside me, he won't work, he won't do anything, he won't pay attention to anything" He cried in Doctor Champ's hug

"I see" No words can answer Gulf

"He will definitely wait for me, he said God planned me for him. He will absolutely wait for me".....

Mew went home with his parents, he locked his room and never answer back if anyone called him. He didn't dare to turn on the lamp, he just sits on the floor, he stared at nothing. Sometimes his tears are fall but he didn't care to wipe them out

"What I did? What is it? Did I do wrong?" these questions keep running in his head. Mew wonder if he could change anything, everything so this nightmare never come true...

He remembered their time together,  one by one. He still remembers, he said "you are all my life, you are mine whatever you are" But now Mew let Gulf winning over him, and force him to let Gulf go

"When you're left by the one you love, you wonder what you did wrong. You wonder what made them stop loving you, and you wonder if you could've done anything to change it"

The second day after the break-up thing happened. This day is the first of Gulf's treatment. His emotion is more stable than yesterday. Techno and his parents are beside him to encourage and give strengthen him

"Good morning Mom, dad" Doctor Champ greeted them politely, "I'll start the treatment first, and then we talk later. I bring my friend to help, he is a hypnotherapist. Maybe the beginning will make Gulf suffer a lot, I hope Mom and Dad will understand it" he explains it carefully. 

Gulf's parents and Techno just nodding, and wait silently on sofas, while Gulf is on his bed waiting for his first treatment to start. Gulf never gets hypnotherapy before, this is the first time for him

"Gulf, maybe this is very painful. You will recall your bad memories, but you will let them go too. We need your desire to heal yourself, it all depends on you" Doctor Cham tries to explain.

"You can do whatever if these things can make me better and I can go see him without any worries"                     

Doctor Champ now who is it. He just nodding slightly, and his friend starts to do his job. The first time he met Gulf is a very long time ago when Gulf is in very bad condition but not that worse more than now. The first time he diagnosed Gulf as borderline personality disorder (BPD) without PTSD. His symptoms are extremely sensitive, he can trigger intense on small things about relationships. Sometimes he can't think straight, he said hurtful words but without act out dangerous. Doctor Champ said these symptoms are a painful cycle, but Gulf nowadays have different symptoms, he even can hurt himself, he even can let go of the person who he loved the most, his body, brain, and emotion think this is the best way, the best way when he is the one who is in hurt.

In Gulf's unconscious, he recalls everything, everything that made him like this.

                       In the second year of senior high school, Gulf was in love with a beautiful girl. He kept this relationship until he at the half-second year of his college, he proposed to her at her birthday

"Dude, are serious wanna get married to her?" Techno asked Gulf who is busy tidying up his clothes.

"Not get married, No. I have told you"

"huh, engagement right. But after that, you will marry her"

"absolutely" Gulf's smile brightly,

 "Let's go" Both of them went to the girl's class

"June," said GulfThat girl is the one who Gulf love that time, 

"Oh, Gulf, Techno. Why are you here? Didn't you said you have class too?"Gulf takes his step and gets closer to her, he grabs her hand and gave her a red little box, 

"let's get married"Her answered is absolute yes, even her friends made fussed, Techno congratulated his best friend.

One month after he proposed to her in her class, the engagement party was held. Both of them invited their relative, friends, and best friends. 

"Ok, let's go to the main event tonight" shouted the MC to take the attention of all of the audience. "Come here Gulf stands on right beside me, and June stand on left"

They are faced each other, with their bright smile." I wanna tell you something before" said June used the microphone

"Ohh she will tell Gulf her feeling? okay, good we will give them time"Their friends cheered them, their family gave them applause

"I'm sorry Gulf, I was betrayed you. I'm so happy to have you in our 2 years, but I'm sorry" June cried.

Gulf tried to reach her, but June step back, "I'm pregnant now with someone else"                  Those sentences made him can't think straight, he was tried to shook his head. He stared at the audience, their families. All of them covered their mouth full of shock, his mom cried in his dad's hug.

"I'm sorry" June cried louder

Gulf just stared at her. He can't found the answer, even he can't ask anything.

"Did you have the right to cry in this situation?" finally he asked without any emotion on his face. He broke the glass that still he holds with his left hand, he punched the mirror behind him. He was bleeding, he just left the party with those hands.

"Gulf! Gulf" techno chased him.

 After some time, finally, he can grab his hand

"let me go, No"

"Where are you going? your bleeding, your hand"

"This is not your damn business"

Techno punched him," what are you want to do? suicide? wanna die with all those blood? you fuck!!" He shouted                      

Techno succeeds bring Gulf to his home, he takes care of Gulf. That man, he never saw Gulf in this state. He even not cried or complain about anything. He was just silent, he didn't care about anything, he lost his mind and sadness. These things made Gulf remember the bad memories before, he tried to bury them in his deep memories.

"You never be loved, Gulf. You will always be left. You will be an asshole in whole your life. You don't deserve love, and true love"

Those painful words are shouted to him from the best friend he believed, but in the end, that friend raped him and hurt Gulf even more

"No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I give, I will never be good enough for anyone"

"Is it me? Am I the reason people always leave and betray me?"

Techno heard sometimes Gulf hit the wall or the door, but he can't see or heard anything in his thought. Techno wants to ask so badly, why Gulf is very desperate, why he didn't know this side of his best friend, why he didn't talk it with him...

"Because I am not the type of person someone falls in love with"