I miss him

It's been two weeks since their last conversation, Mew has left him in the apartment. Give him a lot of time alone to thinking about Mew's want. The wedding.

A week, he didn't go anywhere. Just spent a whole week in the apartment. He is doing the household, re ironing Mew's shirt. He was imagined that he will come when ironing his shirt one by one, but he already ironing the same shirt thrice.

He gazed every time on the phone, expect his boyfriend will call him

But nothing happened

This makes him frustrated

Gulf stood up from the couch, saved his phone in his pocket jeans. He walked to take the car key

Mew gave him a car two months ago, but he never been really used it before.

Sat on the passenger, enjoying ths view through the windows, hearing Mew humming his favorite song is his favorite moments in the car

It's didn't mean he can't drive, he just likes it. He likes it as Mew's passenger

Gulf give up

He decided to go out with Techno at 8 PM, and now it's 6 PM

He is heading to the bar first, clear up his head by driving around

Isn't he miss me? It's been two weeks already. Should I call him first? That's mean I agree with him about the wedding

Gulf messed up his hair by his left hand. This time is the first time Mew was angry at him, he never been angry or never miss to called Gulf even a day

They have through a lot of struggles, but for Gulf this is his first time feels Mew's emotion

"I already in front of your house" He called Techno by phone

"Wait, didn't you say it's 8 pm? And now just 7 pm, I just finished take shower" the hairdryer as Techno's background can be heard through the phone

"I'll wait here" He didn't care about his friend's complaint

"Shit, he always does what he wants" Techno mumbled. He finished his hair as soon as possible, wear a blue t-shirt and jeans pants. although he dislikes Gulf's habits, he surely approaches his best friend as soon as possible, as quickly as he can.

In 10 minutes Techno already sit beside him. Gulf didn't say anything, he waits Techno put his seatbelt then ready to go

"How long is it?" Techno tried to break the black atmosphere in the car

"2 weeks"

Yes, Gulf told him. But he didn't tell him the reason for their fight this time. Usually, Techno will know everything about them, it's because his best friend who cause the trouble, not his husband.

"Not even once?" He is still curious like it's impossible Mew would do this to him

"No. Look my phone I can throw it now through this window" He holds his phone and ready to toss it away

"Wait... wait" Techno takes his phone forcibly, and saves it in his pocket, "Don't destroy things if you mad. You have been cured, dude"

Aah.. he is right. Gulf really changes, he seems reborn with a new personality, new brain, and new feeling after he got hospitalized. The more bright, calm, and doesn't have suicide thought

Since this morning Gulf didn't eat anything. He just makes himself full by water, and now he is throwing tantrum for himself. Right now is his fifth bottle of beer.

"I don't like him!" This first sentence comes out from his lips after he drinks all those bottles

Techno has tried to stop him, but he couldn't do anything. He will scream like a crazy old man when Techno stopped him, and his friend, of course, didn't want to get embarrassed by him

"How can he didn't even give me a call for 2 weeks!!" Gulf put his head on the table, his fingers playing with the glass. He really likes a drunk old man.

"Let's go home. You are drunk" Techno tried to hold him

"Let go!!" He yelled while stood up suddenly. Then he laughed, "just Mew can hold me", he starred at Techno, "But you are my friend. Hold me then..." he gives his hand to Techno

Techno shrugs his shoulders, shook his head, and back to his chair, "So, what's the reason behind your quarrel?"

Techno can't touch the liquor, he should send his best friend to go home safely, or both of them could dead instead on their way.

Gulf pouted his lips, like a child

"You brat, answer me!!"

"Wedding!! He want to marry me but I won't" he raised his voice

Shock.

Techno couldn't believe what's he heard. So why they fight about happy things while others will accept happily

He sighed, "just marry him"

"Stupid, No" Last words from him before he unconscious on the table

Techno's sighed more heavily. He grabbed Gulf's body, helped him to walk, paying the bill and send him to his parent's house

How can he dare leave him alone in his apartment, Techno doesn't want the past to happen again.

He really wants to stay a night at his house, Techno really closed to his family. But he can't, he should back, he has a bunch of work tomorrow

In the morning

Gulf wakes up with a pale face, his head hurt. His eyes caught someone.

Mew?

"Are you okay?"

But the voice is not him

"Hey!!" His sister waved her palm in front of him

"Oh..." his voices hoarse

"How much you drunk? Your head must be hurt" she handed a glass of warm honey. Gulf takes it, sipped it slowly. His head really killing him.

"Why do you come with your friend. Where is your boyfriend?"

She is really annoying sometimes. Wanna kick her

"Sis, please ... my head is hurt"

"Ahh... you are fighting with him, right?" She still teased him

Gulf put the glass on the desk. Leave his sister alone in his room, mumbling about his boyfriend. He wrapped his body over the head with the blanket

Thinking about him while closing his eyes is the best way right now. Usually, Mew will wake him up. Caressing his ear or gazed him waiting he wakes up, then he smiles brightly, more than the sun in the morning, greeting him with the best morning kiss

He will take care of him when he sick like this time. He becomes the busiest person, cleans up his body, changes his clothes, even made him a messy porridge. Sometimes to be sick is his favorite thing, he can see his boyfriend's different side

Mew is a calm person, it's rare he would express a worried or rush about something. But if it comes to Gulf he would express it clearly.

He sits up suddenly tossed the blanket away.

"Why are you sighed heavily?" His mom comes when he sighed and echoing the room. She sits on the edge of the bed.

"Mom...." he is hesitate

"A quarrel? Are you doing bad things to him or him who hurt you?" She always knows without Gulf tell the details

"Not both of them. I just..." He didn't want to talk it now. "My head hurt. Do Mom have some painkillers?" Changed the topic is his skill when he didn't want to talk about something

She put a bowl of porridge, a glass of water and medicine on the desk beside the bed

"You should eat first, take the medicine then take a rest" she placed her hand on her son's shoulder, "Son, sometimes you just need to call him if you miss him that bad and didn't want ruin your relationship" she smiled warmly leaving her only son.

"How can I call him first if I didn't have the right answer for him" he talked alone while eating his porridge

"But, how Mom knows that I miss him..."

He tried to flashback to yesterday night.

Techno has held him, and his mom helps Techno to bring him to his room.

"Mom..." he called his Mom like a child. His Mom and Techno just exchanged a stare

"Mom.... why I miss him this much, but why he didn't give me a call" Gulf whimpered on their way to his rooms

No one can answer him, his Mom and Techno just laid him down, covered him with a blanket and left him slept

"Was I...." He grabbed his hair by two hands. He is shocked to realize about what happened yesterday. Not finished yet with the shock, his phone ringing.

There is a little hope and happiness when his phone finally ringing

He answered it immediately without check the screen

"Mew... I'm sick, my head is killing me..." once again he whimpered

"Gulf, it's me... Tong"

Hearing those voices, he put away his phone from his ear, checked the name number, and it's right. He is not Mew

"Are you sick?"

"It's okay, I just... just drunk yesterday"

"Do you need me to comes to your parent's house? Sorry I was stayed up in the operation room till dawn and just check your voice mail"

"Hah..?" Another confusing scene for him, "Did I call you P'?"

"Oh.. Don't you remember? You should check your recent dial. If you need me to comes..."

"It's okay..." He cut Tong's line, "I'm sorry about yesterday..." His voice almost can't be heard

"Do you need me to call him for you?"

Tong just called him, he even can't see Gulf in person. But he suddenly stood up while hearing his words

"No, no, need. I'm fine. It's okay"

"Alright then, call me if you need anything"

After Tong hangs up, Gulf really checks his recent dial. There are 10 times he called Tong's, and twice he sends a voice messages

"What I have done?" He really wants to scream loudly

Ring

A message comes

"Have you awake already? I didn't have a chance to answer yesterday, because you hung up first. We are on a business trip overseas, his phone was non-actived since we left Thailand. We will back soon"

Run texted him. He didn't wonder anymore how everyone knows about his condition. The alcohol really made him like a stupid person, he called Tong and Run a bunch of times, but he didn't call him even once.

"Gulf" His sister come in to bring him warm water, "What are you doing?!!" She almost rolled her eyes out when seeing her brother's head on the floor but his body on the bed

"Just left me...." his soul leaving his body

She walked closer, ended up help him to go back on his bed

"Is it a really bad fight? Is he really can come to my wedding?"

She helped me but her concern is her wedding

Gulf turns off his phone. He didn't want to look at his stupidity, ended his hope about his boyfriend will calling him

"He will come, he keeps his word. Don't worry"

At that day, when they were on quarrel and Mew decided to left their apartment

He comes to Tong's apartment, took off a day and spent a day full to slept

He knew, if he talks to Gulf right now there is no solution, it's will got worse

But in his heart, he really wants to talk with him, wants to give him a call

A week Mew waiting for Gulf to called him first, but nothing happened. He gave up as his phone running out of battery and he hadn't known at all

Keep waiting for his phone like a stupid

The work force him to give them his attention

He really forgot that both of them had a quarrel over two weeks

Run accompany him. This time remind him of their break up time because of Gulf's want to break up

Mew work, eat, and slept like usual but if someone closed enough with him. It's so obvious.

His happiness, warmness, calmness are gone

You won't found a warm gazed from him

Won't found his happy laugher from him

That guy still effected this much for him, but Mew seems doesn't realize it

"There is call for you" Run handed his phone

Mew looked at that phone, "Your phone? Who?"

Run just shaken his hand

"Hmm..." he answered

"You!! Where is your phone, why I can't call you!!" His voice really can be heard from the other side without this phone. Mew took away his phone from his ear while his friend shout loudly

"Calm down, my phone is here with me" he tapping his phone screen, but nothing it's doesn't turn on

Run give him a sign that his phone runs out of battery. He closed his eyes and shook his head

"It's turn off, sorry I didn't check it"

"I just want to tell you about this, although he said he forbid me to tell you. Gulf is sick, he is at his parent's house"

He lost his thought, "How... Why..."

"I think he drunk with Techno..."

While Tong explains the actual situation his right hand reached a paper and scratched on it "Book me a flight right now, we must go back now"

He gives the paper to Run who is busy preparing their documents

Run raised his eyebrows, waiting for further explanation.

"I need to hang up now, I need to rush to him"

"Wait... you don't ...."

Mew hang up first. Handed back Run's phone

"Right now!" He commanded, "He is sick"

"But we have an appointment in an hour"

"Tomorrow, let's back tomorrow after I see him"

His unclear brain working right now. His will to back and forth from another country to Thailand like, back and forth from his house to Gulf's house

Run can't protest except doing what he commands to him. He keeps scrolling the phone, calling someone to get their ticket back, calling the other person to fix their sudden schedule. He is super busy if his boss having an unclear brain

While Mew helping him get packed their documents

"Just leaving everything here, we will back tomorrow. Let's go" He dragged Run walkout from their hotel room

"The tickets...."

"On our way. I know you can get it"

His confidence never stopped him from being so forcibly. However if Run didn't get the tickets, he can be settled by himself, and get that tickets easily

On their way, Mew charged his phone. He and run sit on the passenger seat.

Run still busy taking care all the mess up because of his boss

The driver already give them farewell greeting when arrived at the airport, but Mew told him to pick them up again tomorrow

Shock. Of course. How can someone can back and forth that easily

"It's all set up. The hotel, the tickets, the schedule" He takes their passport from his bag, give it to Mew. They are really on their way back to Bangkok

"Great"

"But..." Run looked at his watch, "Probably at midnight you can visit him"

"It's okay..."

No more conversation. The calm Mew Suppasit is just bullshit when is coming to his boyfriend. This man never getting a rush and idiot if it is not about his boyfriend.

If he can drive the plane by himself maybe he really flights faster than any pilot in the world and can crush the plane by landing forcibly in front of Gulf's home

Fortunately, he didn't have everything on his hand

Tong pick them up. He bought a bouquet of blue hydrangea, and a basket full of fruits. His best friend asked him to bought it for him, he knows even looking around on city he can't get it, it's already midnight

The worries can be seen on his face. He didn't talk too much, keep tapping his phone screen, but his phone doesn't totally recharge. It's just shown black.

Tong gazed at Run who sits beside him in the front row, he sighed several times looking his friend

"I'll wait here, I can greet them later," Tong said when they arrived in front of Gulf's house

It's 11 pm right now.

Run helped him to bring the fruits and keep on the eye if he doing something unnecessary

Mew knocked on the door. There is a bell door but he prefers to knock because it's too late to come to someone's house. He knocked several times

"Alright... alright wait... who is it in this hour?" Mew can hear Gulf's dad's voice coming closer to the door

"Dad..." the first word he said when he opens the door.

Gulf's Dad looked shocked. He never imagines that this guy would come this late

"Can I come in? I need to see him..." his voice can be heard so desperate. He afraid if his parents don't give him permission to see their son because they have fought in a long time

"Who is ..." Gulf's Mom walked over to the door, "How can you come here so late? Don't you going on a business trip?"

He looks so messy. The suit that he wears was wrinkled all over. The necktie loosened. Just looking at him Gulf's parents know that he was in rushed, he looked so tired but it's covered well with his worries

He doesn't answer their question, "I just need to see him, I heard that he is sick"

Gulf's parents just nodding their heads in confusion. Run handed the basket of fruit to his Mom, he greetìng them politely

"I'll come to pick up you at 6, be ready before that time. Don't forget to charge your phone"

Mew just nodding. Seeing his friend already left him, he just have some time to meet him.

"You can come to his room" Gulf's dad give him full permission to him to move

He brings the bouquet with him. Coming to his room, and he sees his boyfriend has slept under the blanket.

The blue hydrangea was left on the couch in his room

Mew sits down on the floor, caressing his boyfriend's forehead

He still has a fever

Carefully he gets away the blanket, Gulf was covered with sweat, his pajamas were wet, he was delirious because of his fever

He stood up. Take a basin with warm water and a towel from Gulf's bathroom.

He takes off one by one his clothes, makes sure he didn't wake him up.

Mew was looking around to look for his new pajamas. In right time his Mom was coming and pat his back, give him a pair of pajamas for Gulf

"Thank you" he whispered

His mom left him again. He doesn't bother how she knows that he was looking for Gulf's pajamas

He changed successfully his pajamas. Make him sleep more comfortable, covering him with the same blanket until it reaches his chin

Mew placed the wet towel on his forehead. He always can sit beside him, but this time he sits on the floor

Gazed his beloved one who never been contacted over 2 weeks

Gently he holds his hand, put head beside his hand

"Sorry, I hadn't called you sooner. Sorry for leaving you so long"

Until he fell asleep he keeps mumbled these words, "Please don't get sick"

Gulf's door room didn't close well. His mom and dad can see what Mew doing. When get the basin and towel, clean him up, took off their son's clothes, it makes them soften. How can he take care of their son so pricelessly

The way he holds their son's hand and rests his head beside him, it makes them in tears

Remind that time, Gulf forcibly want to break up with him

"Let's go!" Gulf's dad whispered and caressing his wife's shoulder

"Wait..." she walked to the door to close it. And he listens to Mew's mumbling "please don't get sick"

She covered her mouth while closing the door. The tears are rolling down on his cheeks

How lucky they are having him as their second son, as their son's special person. Even their love can't be accepted easily in society

Mew left in the early morning, around 5 am before anyone wakes up, he didn't take a shower. It makes a day he didn't take a bath just to rush to his boyfriend

He left a note on the dining table "Dad, Mom, I should back early. Thank you for taking care of him"

Gulf's mom who found the note just sighed

"Mom..."Her son's voice from his room echoing everywhere, "Did you change my clothes?" He walked closer to his mom

His mom touch his forehead, feels his fever

He didn't need medicine, he is better than yesterday

"Mom"

"I didn't..."

He feels something strange

"Mom, I keep dreaming of him take care of me, then my pajamas was changed. Should I call him? Then why there is a hydrangea in my room?"

His mom gazed at him deeply. Seems her son was really sick yesterday, till he can't distinguish the real between dream

"You should tell him, Mom" His sister walked away

His mom handed the note from Mew. He read it silently, thinking hard in second. Looked at his mom, back to the note

"Mom let me borrow your phone" he whispered while gazed on the note

He scrolls up the screen, to find his boyfriend's number. The name on the phone was written by his name but his Mom added a heart sign after his name. The first time he knows this. He wants to chuckle but he didn't have time to do it.

He used his mom's phone because he turns off it since yesterday, and he knows he can't make it on time if waiting to turn it on

"Where are you!!" He said piercingly once the opposite said his greeting

"Oh, are you awake? How's your condition?" His voice so calm, very different with his voice yesterday

"Where are you? Why are you leaving me again?"

"I should take care of the work, I left everything and rushed back to Bangkok to met you yesterday. How's your fever?"

Gulf stunned by his words. He hurriedly back here then going to take care of his work again, what is he doing, "It's better..." he mumbled

"I just have 2 minutes to talk before..."

"I miss you..." he interrupted

"..."

He can't see it but, definitely, Mew's lips were smiling. The brightest smiling ever in a month

"When are you back?"

"At your sister's wedding. Please wait for me, it's just several days before I take long days off. Don't get sick.."

"Back... safely," he said hesitantly

"Please wait for me. I love you...."

What's the feeling in his chest right now. Happiness, or sad, or amazed. It's hurt his chest

Just because he was sick, he left everything, he left his work for him

That means he is more important than his work. Than anything

And now, he knew who took his pajamas off, who brought him a blue hydrangea, who placed a wet towel on his forehead

Maybe I just miss him not really sick