"we are both

so different

                 now"

Text from; Damon Salvatore                                                                                                                                               Hold on a little longer

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Haven't you heard? The eyes are the famous windows to the soul, they tell you everything you need to know before anyone ever open their mouth.

When I, Lola Arends , had looked into Stefan Salvatore's eyes for the first time I had seen a lifetime never lived.

It repeats in my head a lot these days, what I saw then.

A white dress, a rose in my hair, sweat on my forehead from dancing so much, an oak tree in the distance, watching this story unfold.

It repeats in my head, all that we could have been if I had lived. The true American dream, a white picket fence, children pulling at my arms, waking up next to Stefan for the rest of my life.

When I look at Elijah, see the way he stands there, his hair swooped over his head, confidence, I don't see any of those things.

I see that one memory, repeating in my head in an endless loop, but there is something missing, so much missing. If only I could reach it all, what is hidden behind that white veil.

Sometimes it took longer for me to realize I knew someone, but when I looked at Elijah I felt nothing at all.

Yes, he is attractive. Wearing a suit and tie, undoing the buttons on his sleeves. He looks like royalty standing here, emitting confidence, like someone you never want to cross.

Elijah keeps staring at me and I don't know what to do, I shift uncomfortably on the old couch where my white chiffon dress has started to chafe my thighs.

He clears his throat and straightens his tie before looking away from me.

"We have a long journey ahead of us. We should be going." Elena looks at Rose, trying one last time to beg for her freedom, trying to get some compassion from the girl.

"Please, don't let him take me." I don't fully understand what the girl is so afraid of, I have seen how infatuated both of the Salvatore brothers are with her, I know they will come for her.

In the end, it will be Elena they save first. Because I could technically live another miserable lifetime.

Elijah walks towards Trevor, "one last piece of business and we're done." I know this won't end well, have seen enough of vampires to know when they are up to no good.

"I've waited so long for this day, Elijah. I'm truly,very sorry." Trevor seems hopeful, happy to be finally done with this chapter of his life, I can see him now, running for his freedom.

"Oh no, your apology is not necessary."

"Yes, yes it is. You trusted me with Katerina and I failed you."

"Oh yes, you are the guilty one and Rose aided you because she was loyal to you and that now I honor. Where was your loyalty?"

"I beg your forgiveness." Trevor is almost getting down on his knees.

"So granted." Trevor smiles, this must be the first time since Katerina that he has been free of worry, now he can finally live out the rest of his eternal life.

Elijah smacks Trevor's head clean off his body, the sounds of Rose screaming and the head falling onto the floor echoes through the room. Elijah takes a handkerchief out of his breast pocket and starts silently wiping off his hands.

"What is wrong with you?" I scream, I get up and walk right into the vampire.

"Do you get off on being a dick? Is mercy not a word that happens to appear in your dictionary?" with every word I say I stick my fingers into his chest harder, I know he doesn't feel it but it helps me, he just keeps staring at me.

"All of this-" I look around the room "-just for Katerina Petrova? Do you really want that stupid moonstone so bad?" I am exasperated, done with all the senseless killings I have witnessed since I arrived in Mystic Falls. Since long before I got to Mystic Falls.

"It's with Katherine, in the tomb under Mystic Falls." Elijah turns his head while looking at me.

"It hasn't just been for Katerina Petrova, my sweet. It has been for you- Elijah gets interrupted by the sound of glass breaking, he looks around fast.

"What is that?" Rose is scared of him, "I don't know."

"Who else is in this house?"

"I don't know!"

I am pulled backwards suddenly, into the cold hard arms of Damon Salvatore, I want to speak up but Damon puts a ringed finger to his lips.

"Excuse me. To whom it may concern, you're making a great mistakes if you think that you can beat me. You can't do you hear that?"

Damon pushes something into my hands, I recognize it immediately as one of Alaric's vervain bombs and I know what I have to do, I nod at the oldest Salvatore.

"I repeat, you cannot beat me. So I want the girls, I'm gonna count to three or heads will roll. Do we understand each other?"

A soft voice comes from on top of the stairs, Elijah will never forget that voice, "Elijah."

"Lola," he responds, his eyes seem to have immediately softened when looking at the girl in front of him, her white dress torn, her red hair a mess from sleeping on a ratty couch.

"I'm yours Elijah, always will be." Elijah speeds up the stairs and is in front of her face in a second.

She smells exactly like she used to, mint and roses.

"What kind of game are you playing?" The makeshift stake is in his hand, he is squeezing it so hard it might just break right there and then.

Her lips mouth an "I'm sorry", her eyes sad before a cloud of vervain explodes into his face

He heals way too fast, even for a vampire. Elijah is mad and coming for me and I can't blame him, but I am ready for him this time. Stefan comes out from somewhere just in time and shoots him with the compressed air weapon, it pushes him back a bit but doesn't seem to hurt him. Stefan tackles him instead and I gasp as they roll down the stairs. When they roll onto the floor, Stefan hasn't recovered yet while Elijah has. He starts walking towards Stefan, who is helplessly laying on the wooden floorboards.

"Elijah stop!" I scream. And against everything that Elijah's head must be telling him, the turns around to look into my eyes. . Damon comes from behind him and sticks a stake right through his heart. He pushes the body against a door and hangs him from the stake piercing his heart.

His face has turned an ugly gray and I can't help but feel a little sad for a moment, betrayed by the person that he loved so much, betrayed by the person he thought he lost.

Damon's protective arms wrap around and while I could pretend that none of this has affected me, I instead choose to sob into Damon's chest while he strokes my hair.

We get to Elena's house late at night. I have never been there before, but I know what a house without parents looks like.

"Elena?" I hear Jeremy's voice coming from upstairs and I see Elena rush up the steps to fall into her brother's arms.

I stand in the doorway, watching the reunion from a distance. In a minute I will climb back into Stefan's car and drive to the Salvatore Boarding house, but for now I can pretend that I too am a part of this little messed up family.

Bonnie sees me, and she runs for me to take me into her arms. It's a surprise for sure.

The witch hugs with everything is her, her hugs are impossible to not give in to.

When she moves back I look at her, "she got your message." I say.

Bonnie just shakes her head and laughs, "it was your message too."