Text to; Elena Gilbert                                                                                                                                                             Whatever deal you are making with Elijah, include me in it.

                                                                                                                                                    Text from; Elena Gilbert                                                                                                                                                       Why?

Text to; Elena Gilbert                                                                                                                                                             To save your annoying boyfriend, of course.

Damon and I walk into the tomb once more, in the space before it's entrance there are still torches strewn about. A little stain of Bonnie's blood in the middle of it. Damon is holding a carefully selected bag of things we picked out for Stefan, they are talking but I am hardly listening. Too focused on the sound of rain dripping somewhere above me.

I awake from my trance because of Stefan's booming voice, "You trapped her in the house?" I know who he is talking about, I was there when we decided it was best for everyone to trap Elena in her own home.

"It's for the best. Trust me. Elena is on a martyr tear that rivals your greatest hits. You should be glad that the witch and I are even getting along. I brought you this." He hands the bag of Stefan and I feel dizzy. My head spins through the room.

"A care package by me and Lolly: Candle, lanterns and.. lunch." He shows his brother the bottle of blood but I understand his objection to the redness, Katherine.

"Give that to me and I'm just gonna have to share it with her." Damon looks through the entrance to the tomb and sees Katherine standing against a wall, just as I see her.

"Yeah..."

"You three are surprisingly calm, considering Klaus-" at his name I don't hear the rest of the sentence. My head explodes on the inside, like it has done so many times this week. Damon grabs me by the shoulders and steadies me, tells me to stay calm and breath.

"I've been dead before. I got over it." I whisper to her, my eyes closes shut so tightly I am starting to see spirals in gorgeous colors.

The pain has started to subside, it has never been as strong as it was that first time but it does hurt. I don't want to tell them that my body is getting weaker, that it isn't fighting the pain with as much force anymore.

Damon holds onto my back still, "Once we deal with the moonstone, we'll figure a way to get you out." I open my eyes and I see Stefan shake his head.

"Don't worry about me. Just make sure Elena's safe"

Fuck that stings. Damon feels it too, how my body tenses up at the sentence and how badly I would like to cry but that I can't, not right now. So he takes me by the arm and guides me out of the tomb, I can hear the bottle of blood sloshing in his hand.

The house is lonely like this. With Stefan in the tomb and Damon at Elena's house. There is nothing to do, no one to talk to. Just an empty room. Well it isn't empty, there are expensive rugs and books and pieces of furniture but it feels so empty. So lonely and fake. Trying to build a new life when you are already dead, desperately clinging on to that last bit of humanity.

I wish I was a vampire, lying here on this couch watching the dust fly by my eyes. I wish I could turn it off, the humanity, the loving and the crying and this never ending loneliness.

I don't know who I'd become then, emotionless Lola. I'd probably go back to New York, where the most mindless fun was had and I wouldn't care if anyone saw me having a good time. I'd hear them think that I am that girl, that Lola who killed her parents and got away with it and I wouldn't care. And I would kill Justin and Eloise with one swift snap of the neck, a revenge I never felt. Because they accused me of something I didn't do and they got to live on in the place they grew up on, I had to flee so far away that I didn't know how to ever get back to my old life.

My breaths are ragged, I can hear and feel every bit of oxygen like sandpaper shaving over my trachea, inside of lungs. My body is shutting down so slowly that other people wouldn't even notice it. I used to be able to get older than eighteen you know, when my body was still new I could have lived till seventy. I didn't because I got killed, but at least then it felt like my murder was in the prime of my life while now it felt like life was already ending anyway.

It's in that moment that I decide to do it. I grab my phone and I look for her number.

Text to: Elena Gilbert

Whatever deal you are making with Elijah, include me in it.

Anything to give Stefan the happiness he deserves, I am dying anyway.

When Damon comes back I have already ordered pizza. The WiFi in the house sucks and I wish I could just watch and uninterrupted episode of Gossip Girl (not even slightly accurate, by the way) but I have to look at the loading sign for a minute every five. He locks the door behind him, he never locks the door.

"Hey you." He says and lets himself fall down next to me, shifting me from my place on the couch.

"Hey you," I reply with a mouth full of pizza. He steals one of the slices and takes a big bite.

He chews it up with a disgusted look on his face, "is this pineapple?" I nod and take another bite.

"What demon enjoys pineapple on pizza." I put my hand up but I don't look him in the eye.

Footsteps come from the direction of the library and out comes the female vampire, Rose. I quickly swallow the food still in my mouth.

"Have you been here this entire time?" she doesn't answer me.

"Okay, very clear, thanks." I respond sarcastically. Damon gets up from next to me and walks towards her, it makes me feel jealous even though Damon and I are nothing but friends.

"You just can't stay away, can you?" he says almost seductively.

"You don't answer your phone."

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to apologize."

"Just admit it, you don't have anywhere else to go."

"I'm sorry about Elena. I wasn't thinking straight. I didn't know that she had a death wish but I called you, I tried to make it right, okay? I'm sorry, Damon. And I have nowhere else to go."

"There is nothing here for you, Rose." She looks at me, I can feel her stare digging into the back of my neck and I know what it means.

"Well, then..." glass breaks from one of the windows in the living room. I can just see the shape of something wolf-like jumping in and I let myself roll to the ground from the couch, trying to be as invisible as possible.

It's Damon I hear first, telling me the wolf is gone, but the words he utters are not comforting.

"How bad is it?" I get up from the carpet and walk to the pair where I see Rose, her shirt ripped open by her shoulder. A gross bite.

"It hurts," she hisses when she touches it.

"It's healing." Damon says while looking at the bite, and I see it too. But I know better somewhere in my memories, one of me is screaming at them, telling them the truth.

"Oh my god, I thought a werewolf bite was fatal! I thought..."

She starts to sniffle and Damon embraces her sweetly, gentle, like he does with me.

"You're gonna be okay."