"you're afraid to let yourself be happy, because you know that it never lasts."

"Niklaus," I whisper into the silent night. Another dank hotel room on another horrible day, it smells like sweat in here. He answers with only a short, "hmmm."

"Why am I alive?" He had fallen asleep in a chair in front of the TV, though he has woken up now. An endless loop of the news is still playing, the voice of a male anchor filling the room.

My weight shifts on the mattress, it dents on the side and I know he has joined me. Is now carefully sitting on the edge of the bed. He runs his fingers through my still slightly wet hair.

"Because I didn't want you dead, love."

I keep my eyes closed and my head turned into the pillow, I don't want to see him, I know he can hear me even when I whisper my thought into the feathers.

"Then why-" I swallow "- why did you kill me all those times before.

"I was waiting for this, the perfect moment for us to run away together."

"They told me I had to die to complete the ritual, they all told me I had to die." He pets my cheek with just the cool palm of his hand, he's gentle, like I'm a toy.

"You were never supposed to die, my love. You were supposed to come with me." He lets out a sigh and fully lays down on the bed next to me.

"I understand your fear. But you are alive like the rest of my siblings are alive, though preoccupied. You are all the family I have left."

I shake my head, "I didn't want to come with you, you forced this upon me."

"I know."

"I was finally happy and you took it from me, again."

"I know."

He sighs. A tear finds it's way into my pillow, left there for the next sad wanderer to sleep in.

The car ride is bumpy, I don't know who Klaus compelled to drive us but he is not a talented chauffeur. "Okay, can we slow down? I get motion sick." It's still dark out and the windows of this car are tinted on the inside, we haven't got a clue where we're going. I am laying down on the leather seats in the back, my head on Stefan's lap. I tried desperately to get some sleep while we were driving, I barely slept last night. I barely sleep most nights.

"No worries, we're here." He stops the car suddenly, my head almost bumps into the seat in front of me but Stefan holds me back.

Klaus holds the door open to us and when we exit it we are once again standing inside of a warehouse. Klaus opens some doors at the front.

"Welcome back to Chicago, Stefan." Klaus says and when I look through the large open doors and over the parking spaces I see the lights of a city.

Finally, a bloody city. Not the one where I belong, but a city at last. Not all these backwoods places with barely running water and depressing motels. Here I am in my element.

Chicago, I've never been to the windy city before.

"What are we doing here?" Stefan asks as Klaus opens some smaller doors, behind them stands a large truck that is slowly parking in front of the warehouse.

"I know how much you loved it here. Bringing back memories of the good old ripper days."

Stefan looks at the truck, "blacked out most of them. A lot of blood, a lot of partying. The details are a blur." Sounds like a good time to me.

"Why am I still with you? We had our fun, your hybrids failed. I mean, don't you want to move on?" his eyes get smaller with every word he speaks, must be the weight of those brows.

"We're going to see my favorite witch. If anyone can help us with our hybrid problem, it's her." The compelled driver holds open the door and Klaus steps in. Stefan and I share a glance and then both get into the car.

The bar we enter is dim, quiet and completely empty. Except for the woman behind the bar, of course.

"Looks familiar, doesn't it?"

Stefan looks around the room in wonder as I step through the door, "I can't believe this place is still here." The woman only just notices us coming down and looks directly at Klaus.

"You got to be kidding me." Klaus seems to genuinely smile at this and extends his arms. He's preparing for a hug. Hug and Klaus Mikaelson aren't words that live together frequently.

"So a hybrid walks into a bar, says to the bartender.."

She puts her hand up, "Stop. You may be invincible, but that doesn't make you funny."

"Oh my god, so embarrassing." I whisper, I know Klaus can hear me, he smiles.

She switches her intense gaze from Klaus to Stefan and studies his face, "I remember you."

"Yeah. You're Gloria. Shouldn't you be..."

She laughs, "old and dead? Now if I die, who's going to run this place, huh?"

Niklaus continues, "Gloria's a very powerful witch."

"I can slow the aging down some. Herbs and spells. But don't worry, it'll catch up to me." Her eyes stare directly into mine, I can almost feel her in my soul.

"And who is this young woman you've dragged along?"

"I'm Lola." She keeps staring at me. I think she can feel the magic in my heart from over there.

"The infamous immortal, Lola. I've heard of you." I nod, but only because I want her to look away from me. If she stares for much longer I don't know what will happen.

"Stefan, why don't you go and fix us up a little something from behind the bar." Stefan raises his shoulders in a fashion that speaks, do it yourself, to me. "Yeah, sure thing." He replies submissively and walks to the bar with slumped shoulders.

Klaus seems to check Gloria out and for some reason that still pulls at me, makes me feel just a tiny bit jealous. I bet that was his plan exactly.

"You look ravishing by the way."

She doesn't fall for his little trick of seduction, "don't. I know why you're here. A hybrid out to make more hybrids? That kind of news travels."

"So what am I doing wrong? I broke the curse." I stiffen up at this. I wish I didn't but all I can think of is her name, coursing through my head like a broken record player. A constant loop.

Elena,Elena,Elena,Elena.

She's alive and she shouldn't be. The idea of her, being alive and well at home, is the only thing keeping Stefan from collapsing in on himself, imploding. From truly becoming the ripper that Klaus wants him to be. The same goes for his older brother.

"Obviously you did something wrong. Look, every spell has a loophole, but a curse that old...We'd have to contact the witch who created it."

I step in, "that would be Esther, she's extremely dead and can't come to the phone right now."

"I know she's dead," she responds ,"but I can contact her. I'll need help. Bring me Rebekah." Rebekah, brilliant Rebekah. The girl with the heart and hair of gold. The girl with way too many feelings, especially for a vampire who cannot be killed.

When I first got to the New World, after months of hiding on a ship, disguising myself as a boy, the Mikaelsons had to consider taking me in. Rebekah was the one who stood by my side from the very beginning, who laid her hand on my shoulder and swore her loyalty to me. We grew into sister over the years that I peacefully lived beside the Mikaelsons. She had had one, but she passed away of the disease when she was still very young. I had had sisters, but never good ones.

It was the first life time since the first life time that I felt real.

There is something hanging on the wall over there, something that I have missed. I can't describe it, it's bright and happy and it tugs me in.

A smile, a bright smile. It comes very close to him being genuinely happy. But there is a face under his shoulder, a face that doesn't belong there, a face that only brings misery.

"Rebekah. Rebekah is a bit preoccupied."

"She has what I need. Bring her to me."

My fingers tap on the glass a couple of times and I blow off the accumulating dust, just to be sure that what I am looking at is real and not just some trick of perspective.

"What the hell is this?" I can feel that Stefan has rushed to the spot behind me and I seeing the photo I am holding in my hands too.

It's Stefan, it's undoubtedly Stefan in a smart suit with his hair gelled down. His shoulder is wrapped around someone's shoulders. Klaus's shoulders.

This picture isn't new, this picture wasn't taken in the last summer where we have been together. It's starting to fall apart even, ragged at the edges.

Klaus comes up behind us both and put his arms around our shoulders, "I told you Stefan. Chicago's a magical place."

"But this is me. With you."

Stefan's thoughts are still with the picture he found at Gloria's bar when we get back to the warehouse, it looks like the one where this entire journey started. Klaus flies his siblings with him everywhere he goes, it's a type of love, in his own diabolical way.

"This doesn't make any sense. Why don't I remember you."

"Why didn't Lola here remember you? You said it yourself, that time had a lot of dark holes."

"No, if you knew me, then why haven't you said anything?" we keep walking through the dusty warehouse where everything echoes through the air. Including the tiny particles.

"I'm a little busy right now. Memory lane will have to wait."

Stefan isn't accepting that as an answer, not today. He stops dead in his tracks, forcing Klaus and I to do the same.

"What the hell is going on? Answer me."

"Let's just say we didn't get off to a brilliant start. To be honest, I hated you." He spins a tale of flapper dresses and blues singers. Of Stefan as a ripper going wild on girls and alcohol and parties. Of Rebekah immediately falling for the blonde boy I now know so well. Can't blame her, even when I was first.

"Your sister. So I knew another Original vampire."

Klaus rolls his eyes, "if you can't handle it then don't ask."

He walks over to the coffins in the crate. They aren't all the same, I think that maybe Klaus had enough sentiment to pick them out depending on personality.

He opens the white one that I was already suspecting to be Rebekah and in it she lays. A dagger stabbed into her chest, her face covered in grey veins. He gently touches her face.

"I don't recognize her."

I laugh, "you probably shouldn't tell her that. She has a worse temper than even Nik here." He pulls the dagger out of her chest in one fell swoop.

"Time to wake up, little sister. Any day now, Rebekah." I wonder all of a sudden if Klaus knows about my relationship with his brother. That we were in love once behind his back. I doubt it.

She doesn't move from her place, Klaus looks at us, "She's being dramatic."

Stefan is done and asks the question that has been lingering in the air for weeks now, "Look, why don't you just tell me what the hell is going on? I mean, you obviously want me here for a reason, right?" Klaus folds his hands together in front of him, I keep my stare pointed at Rebekah.

"Well, you have many useful talents."

"Do I?" he says as I say right at the same time, "does he?"

"In fact, I learned some of my favorite trick from you."

I need to be careful not to let these other things taint my view of Stefan, I can't allow it. We both need each other here and resentment on either part is useless.

It still hurts though, when Klaus tells of who Stefan was when he was a ripper, killing for fun, manipulating people because he felt like it. And it's hard to connect to the sweet boy who proposed to me in a rose garden, who held me so tightly always and who is now such a dear friend. It feels like I'm looking at Stefan like he is Damon. For some reason Stefan is harder to forgive.

We are walking towards the exit, I have now opted to stand next to Stefan instead of Klaus like I usually do, I feel that it hurts him just a little. But Klaus too must understand that I am not in love with him, that he won't be forgiven so easily for killing Jenna, for killing me and as far as he know for killing Elena.

"I was your number one fan." He ends his little story of misery.

"Why should I believe any of this?" Klaus stops in front of the guard standing in the room and compels him. "When she wakes up, tell her to meet us at Gloria's Bar. Then volunteer your carotid artery and let her feed until you die."

I raise my hand, "I'll stay here, okay?" he nods and continues to walk.

"Where are you two going?!"

He turns around and yells back, "Stefan thinks I'm lying. We really knew each other. He trusted me with one of his secrets and now I'm going to prove it to him."

"How?!" I yell back.

"We're going to his old apartment." They walk out the door leaving me alone with all the Mikaelson siblings and a security guard.