It was my first year in college when I first met her.

I saw ths coldness from her and at the same time I can saw that she can be the person that easy to get with. Pero makakasalamuha lang siya kapag ikaw ang unang lalapit at makikipagkaibigan.

Mediyo matangkad. May kulay chokolateng kulay na buhok. She was standing infront of the door while busy on her phone. Hindi pa kami pinaunlakan ng tingin nang papasok kami sa bahay ng pinsan niya. Gusto ko talagang kunin ang kaniyang tingin. I want to look at her face. I was curious since Lance told me she's the most stubborn person he knows. But seeing her face, there's no doubt that Lance was right.

She slowly pushes her luggage when we enter inside. Naiwan ang tingin ko sa kaniya. Walang nakapansin dahil ang mga kasama ko ay nasa kaniya rin ang tingin.

She's leaving?

I guess she just spent vacation here.

"What's your cousin's name, Lance?"

Lance shook his head. Nakaupo na kami sa mediyo may kahabaang lamesa. Nagtanong kaagad si Zack nang makaupo kami.

Natatawa si Euegene na nilingon si Zack. We know why he's asking the name of his cousin.

"She's off limit?"

Tumitig ako sa reaksiyon ni Lance. He seemed expecting this to happen. Dismaya na nagtanong si Zack sa kaniyang pinsan. Inaasahan niya ito at hindi niya gusto iyon. And I'm curious about it.

"She's not off limit but she's... just..." Lance sighed. "Just don't go near her. Uuwi na siya sa America so I guess you don't have a chance to know her name." Lance smirked, the opposite reaction from Zack and Eugene.

"Tss. Di mo na lang sabihin na off limit."

"Parang off limit nga siya. Its own for your good anyway."

"His cousin was not that pretty, Zack," Viviene but in.

I bit my lower lip. The girl was pretty. At sigurado ako na marami iyong nabibihag na mga lalaki sa America.

Zack scoffed. "I guess your blind."

"Stop it. Let's just forget about this nonsense conversation." Lance irritated voice change the topic.

Napataas ako ng kilay at binaling na lang sa mga nakalahad na pagkain. Base sa kwento ni Lance sa akin, hindi mapagkakatiwalaan ang pinsan niya. At alam kong may koneksiyon ito sa mga banta ni Lance kina Zack at Eugene. Ang hindi ko lang maunawaan, kung ano ang rason kung bakit hindi siya mapagkakatiwalaan. I just didn't understand Lance at that part. It makes his cousin as a bad person.

"Lagi na lang siyang nagsisinungaling. Sakit talaga siya sa ulo!"

"Sino ba yan?"

Lance sighed. "My cousin... "

"Oh... He must be stubborn then."

Napailing siya, para bang isa na naman ito sa mga problema niya.

"She, Clay. Hillary is a girl and that's one of my biggest problems."

I'm not shocked at that part. I tried to asked some questions but Lance just shook his head and don't want to talk about it. Alam ko ang pangalan niya magmula nang sabihin sa akin ni Lance. Dahil mukhang seryoso si Lance, hindi ko iyon binuniyag sa dalawa.

I can't help to think about her since I saw her face. I'm sure it was just the attraction. That girl was attractive.

I stop to think about her when I courted Belen Año. Belen was a model. I courted her three months. Naging kami kahit hindi ako sigurado sa nararamdaman sa kaniya. I feel like I'm doubting about my feelings for her.

"I saw Bell earlier. May kasamang lalaki," Ari says as she walked fast so she can walk with me.

I didn't feel anything about what she says. It's just it didn't bother me.

I didn't say anything. Ariene, my childhood friend and a sister to me, stood in front. Sinangga niya ang dalawang kamay sa harap ko. Siya pa ang mas nababahala na may kasamang ibang lalaki si Belen. Well... Belen told me that she had a project with her classmate. I trust her. Pero hindi ko alam kung tiwala lang talaga.

I sighed. "She told me about it. It's all about their project."

Umirap siya. "She is cheating Clay! Nakita ko na nakikipagharutan siya sa lalaking kasama niya."

"You just-"

"Kung hindi ka maniniwala. Sundan mo siya ng palihim at malalaman mo." She sneered then walk away.

Kung totoo nga iyon then maybe I should break up with her.

Hindi ko sinunod ang sinabi ni Ariene. Even I don't have enough evidences that Belen is cheating, I broke up with her. Our relationship is complicated. Wala akong nararamdaman habang kami at mali iyon. I just misunderstood my attraction towards her. Tourism siya, halos lahat ng circle of friends niya ay tourism din ang course. Hindi ako makasabay kapag sinasama niya ako sa mga lakad nila.

Wala din kaming time sa isat isa. There are a lot of reason why we broke up. Kaya hindi na siya umangal nang makipaghiawalay ako. May naging relasiyon pa pagkatapos ng ilang taon but it ended badly. Kahit seryoso ang relasyon ko sa kanila wala pa rin namang pinagbago. In the end, I broke up with them. Sa lahat ng relasyion na pinasukan ko, ako ang nakikipaghiwalay. I realized that I have no time for relationship. My course was giving me a hard time. Naisip ko na huwag muna akong pumasok sa relasiyon.

"Bro, Hailey is asking for your number." Humalahak si Lance habang tinatapik ang balikat ko.

We are playing golf. Naisipan niyang maglaro kami dito. It's not my first time to play golf. Dalawa lang kami ang naglalaro. Puro babae na naman ang lumalabas sa bibig niya.

He has a past relationship with a girl that broke his heart. Sa break up na yon hindi na siya nagseseryoso.

Alam naman niya na hindi ako katulad niya na nagloloko pero lagi akong sinasabihan tungkol sa mga babaeng nagkakagusto sa akin. Kung ang pinsan niya lang ang bukambibig niya ay mas magiging interesado pa ako.

Hindi ako nagsalita. Mas lalo itong natawa. I focused on what I'm doing.

"Right, aren't interested."

Nakapamaywang akong tinitigan ni Lance. "I wondered why can't you learn to love Ariene. I mean... love her romantically. She's in love with you man."

Tumaas ang kilay ko at di nagsalita.

Alam ko naman na may nararamdaman si Ariene sa akin. Her feelings for me were visible. Bata kami pa lang ay nahahalata ko na, na may gusto siya sa akin. She is caring. Lagi akong sinasamahan sa kapag nagiisa ako. When I started to date girls, she ignored me for months. I cared for her too so I tried to reach her. Kahit galit siya ay pinilit ko na ipaintindi sa kaniya na hanggang pagkakaibigan ang maibibigay ko. I tried to return her feelings but I failed.

My grandmother asked me about our relationship when I entered college. She was shocked when I told her that I didn't have a relationship with Ariene.

Her mom was kind. She treated me like her own kid. Kaya pinatira rin namin sila sa aming tahanan dahil walang magaalaga sa akin. Lola was there for me but she is a little bit old and can't take care of like Ariene's mother.

Laking pasasalamat ko nang unti unting bumabalik ang pagkakaibigan namin ni Ariene. She is like a sister to me. Nangungulila ako sa aking magulang at gusto kong magkaroon ng kapatid. Ariene and her mother were there when I needed it.

I thought I would never have a relationship until I graduate but I was wrong. That's when I met again the girl that caught my attention a long time ago. Dahil sa mga galaw niya ay unti unti kong naiintindihan si Lance. Her cousin is complicated. Hindi nga mapagkakatiwalaan. Her actions are different from what I saw when I first met her. She is not that cold. She is friendly.

Lance warning voice is popping in my head every time I see her.

"Avoid her as long as you can," banta niya sa amin.

Iyon lang naman ang sinabi niya. No specific information why we should avoid his cousin. At ako naman hindi nakaya ang sarili na mapalapit sa kaniya. Minsan hindi ko na sinisisi si Hillary na mapalapit sa akin. Sometimes I was the one who wanted to be near her.

"Walang susundo sa pinsan ko. May pupuntahan pa naman ako."

"Ako na lang."

Nilingon niya ako. "Akala ko ay uuwi ka na?"

"Kapag naihatid ko na ang pinsan mo, didiretyo na lang ako sa bahay niyo."

He slowly nodded. "Tutuloy ka?"

"Yeah... I want to help you with your project."

His face lightens.

That's not the reason why I want to go. If he only knew it's all about his cousin.

"Thanks bro. I got to go."

I drove her cousin to their house. Habang nagmamaneho ako ay nagtatanong siya kung bakit ako ang sumundo sa kaniya. I was irritated. Iniisip ko na ayaw niya ako ang sumundo sa kaniya. Sino naman? Si Zack?

"Your cousin beg me," mariin kong sinabi.

Her jaw dropped.

I'm the one who fucking beg for it if I had a chance.

Nang makita ko na may binubulong si Zack sa tainga niya agad na kumuyom ang kamay ko. I hate seeing her flirting with boys! After kissing me on the cheek? Damn you Hill.

I was mad at her again. Pinasakay ko siya sa sasakyan ko. Tahimik lang ako. I don't want a conversation with her.

"Dapat inaya mo yung girlfriend mo kung ganoon?"

Kumunot ang aking noo.

"Girlfriend?"

Umirap ito. "The girl with you earlier."

"In the cafeteria."

Tumaas ang kilay ko. Si Ariene ba ang tinutukoy niya? Is she jealous about her? I can sense it with her voice. And it is making crazy hearing her jealous voice.

Napangisi ako. "She's not my girlfriend."

Nakita ko ang liwanag sa kaniyang mukha. It was a sign of relief. I want that kind of reaction too. I want her to assure me that she has no boys, no boyfriends.

"He is a friend Clay... And I don't like him."

"Ikaw ang gusto ko... " She smirked. That smirked was dangerous.

She's not scared when she confessed her feelings for me. She was confident! Hindi man lang nahihiya. Isa ito sa ikinagagalit ko sa kaniya. She confessed her feelings like I'm the type of guy that is easy. And maybe I am easy. With her cool smirked, cool clothes, cool smiles. Everything about her was cool. Galit ako sa sarili dahil ang bilis kong mahulog sa mga patibong niya. She had ways to trap me in her spell.

I tried to avoid it but I felt like I shouldn't.

My feelings got deepened when she kissed me. She kisses very well. Dahil mediyo naiinsulto ako sa paraan ng halik niya. Sinuklian ko ito nang mas malalim pa sa ginawad niya. Her mouth taste different. It was sweet. Lalo akong nahumaling sa kaniya.

Pero nang maalala ang paraan ng pakikihalubilo niya kina Zack at Euegene ay nagalit ako. I warned her.

She convinced me with her sweet voice. All her actions were getting me. Lalo na noong nagpunta kami sa Matabungkay beach. I realized; I am fucking falling. Lance was there when he saw me watching her cousin playing volleyball. My eyes are directed to her.

"You like my cousin Clay?" he asked.

I didn't say anything.

Tumango si Lance na parang alam na ang sagot doon.

"You're the type of a guy who wanted a serious relationship but she can't give you that. She will play with your feeling. She broke many boys." Tumayo na siya, nadismaya sa akin.

I tried to avoid her cousin. But then Hillary has many ways to make me believe her. Hindi ko alam kung palusot lang ba talaga o totoo ang mga sinasabi niya sa akin. Because of my feelings for I already trust her. Pinagsawalang bahala ko ang mga banta sa akin ni Lance.

"Ano ba ang meroon sa kaniya, Clay? She's beautiful? I'm beautiful too!" Ariene shouted.

Matapos niyang ikwento ang pagaaway nila ni Hill ay ito ang sinabi niya. Mediyo nagagalit na ako sa kaniya. She doesn't need to compare herself with Hillary. Every person has its own beauty. Hillary is different from her.

"Ari, stop it." I sighed. I'm tired of this. Explaining things for her to make her understand that I can't return her feelings for me.

Wala akong magagawa.

"Magsisisi ka rin Clay!" Marahas niyang pinunasan ang luha saka umalis.

Hindi ako magsisi. I knew from the beginning that Hillary owned my heart. Lalo nang pinakilala ko siya sa pamilya ko. My grandmother was happy. All of my relatives were happy. They were expecting me to marry Hillary as soon as possible. Pero hindi ko pakakasalan si Hillary hanggat hindi pa siya handa. I will wait. She still studies for the next few years. I was so sure for our future when she gave herself to me at that night.

Nagising ako na wala siya sa tabi ko. Kumunot ang noo ko habang sinusuri ang loob ng aking kuwarto. Wala iyong damit niya. Wala siya.

Agad kong tinungo ang aking banyo pero wala.

Mabilis ang bawat lakad ko sa hagdan. It was past early in the morning. Bumungad sa akin ang mga kasambahay, si Theo, Jose at Armando, ang aming mga bodyguards. Naguusap sila at seryoso ang mga mukha nila habang naguusap. Nang makita nila ako ay nagtinginan sila.

What the hell is wrong?

"Where is Hillary?" I ask.

Nagiwas ng tingin si Armando. Theo walked towards me.

"May dapat kang malaman, Clay... "

Nalukot ang mukha ko.

Pinakita nila sa akin ang CCTV. And there... I watched how Hillary escaped. Nanikip ang dibdib ko. My family was talking to Armando and Jose, pinapaliwanag ang bawat detalye nang nangyari kagabi. Lumapit sila at di na inantay pa na marinig ang sinasabi ng dalawa.

"What's wrong Clay? Why did she... "

Hindi ko pinansin si Lola.

"May nanakawin pa sana siya..." Nilahad sa akin ang isang folder. "A case that your mother and father handled that caused their death. I think she's connected to the people who killed your parents, Clay."

Hindi! That's not true.

Parang nawasak ang puso ko sa posibilidad na iyon. Hindi ko kakayanin na magmahal ng isang taong nakikipagsabwatan sa pumatay sa magulang ko.

Is she trying to get them out of their cell? Fuck!

"Bakit hindi niya kinuha?"

He played another video. Si Hillary na pinasok ang pintuan. She was... trying to open the door. She successfully opened it. Bawat galaw niya ay mabilis. Hinalungakat niya lahat ng cabinet, when she got the folder, someone called her. Napaiyak ito at binitawan na ang hawak niya.

"Hindi namin alam, Claine. Hindi rin namin alam kung paano niya nalaman ang pinagtataguan ng dokumentong ito. May gusto pa siyang kuhanin na titulo ng lupa niyo."

I remembered when she asked me about the blueprint.

Para akong nawalan ng lakas. Wala akong pinalampas na oras para hanapin siya. Nagpaembistiga na sina Lola. My two Aunts lead the investigation. Pinagsawalang bahala ko lahat sila. All I could think was Hillary. Kung magpapakita siya, kaya ko siyang patawarin. I would listen to her explanation. I'm willing to.

Lance was shocked too. Hindi nakabawi ng sinabi ko na nawawala ang pinsan niya. Pero nagbabakasakali ako na alam niya.

"What? I thought she's with you?"

Hinampas ko ng malakas ang pintuan ng kuwarto ni Hillary. Wala ang damit niya. Ang tanging nasa kuwarto niya ay ang iilang gamit.

"Wala siya Lance! Kung alam mo kung nasaan siya. Sabihin mo!" My frustration echoed in the room.

Wala ang dalawa na nakatira dito. They are both gone. Kung ganoon parehas silang umalis? What the hell. They plan all of these. Lahat! Pinagplanuhan nila!

"Fuck, I don't know anything." Ginulo nito ang magulong buhok.

I eyed him suspiciously. "Bakit ka nandito kung ganoon Lance?"

"I was with Miya... Hindi ko alam kung saan sila nagpunta. Damn it. I warned you, Clay." Nagmura siya bago kinuha ang cellphone na tumunog. It was her mom.

Bago pa masagot iyon ay bumukas ang pintuan. Agad akong napalingon sa pumasok. Dali daling lumabas si Lance at sinalubong ang taong pumasok. It was Miya...

"Where is she?" Marahas ang lakad ko na lumapit sa kaniya.

"She's gone. I tried to find her but..." She bit her lower lip. Huminga ito ng malalim. "May iniwan siya. Ang susi ng sasakyan mo."

Nilahad niya sa akin ito. Kumulo ang dugo ko. Ano naman ang pake ko sa susi! Damn it. Kinuha ko ito at hinagis sa kung saan.

Nawala siya na parang abo. Wala na akong magawa kundi ang kalimutan na lang siya. Pero hindi ko kaya... Nalaman ko na lang ang totoong pakay niya.

Nakipagusap sa amin ang isa sa mga tauhan nila Miya. His name was Jerome. He explained their side. Tinulungan niya rin si Hillary na gawin ang plano niya. It is all about her brother. She fooled everyone because of her brother.

"Claine, you should move on." It was my grandmother.

Pinakiusapan niya akong ihatid ko siya sa kaniyang kwarto. Pero hindi ko aakalain na sasabihin niya ito. She's avoiding in bringing this topic. Pero nagtataka ngayon dahil siya ang nanguungkat nito.

"I already did, La... "

She sighed. "I know you to well. Tignan mo ako, wala pang apo. Bakit hindi mo ba talaga gusto si Ariene? Ang bait niya."

I sighed. "Don't worry about it, La. Ariene and I are just a friend."

Dismaya siya na umiling bago pumasok.

She's right. She knows me too well. Alam niya na hindi pa ako nakakalimot.

She wanted a grandchild. Naalala ko ang tatlong magkakaptid na laging binibisita ni Hillary. I brought them to her. Tuwang tuwa siya nang makilala sila. And she asked me to make them stay with us. Pumayag naman kaagad ako.

Lahat na lang ng mga bagay ay laging pinapaalala sa akin si Hillary. Kahit ilang taon na hindi ko siya nakita, hindi pa rin talaga ako makalimot. Kahit anong galit ko sa ginawa niya ay gusto ko pa rin na bumalik siya, sa akin.

"Bumalik na siya?"

Lance sipped on his tequila. Sinusuri ang reaksyon ko. He slowly smirked. Hindi nagbago ang seryoso kong tingin.

Suportado siya sa gusto kong mangyari. If her cousin wouldn't come back for another year then I will find a way to make her come back. Hindi pwede na ako ang pupunta sa kinaroroonan niya para habulin siya. I was still mad at her! I understand all her reasons why she lied to me but the way she left was unreasonable.

"Well... She's with a guy when we visit her. Baka kasama niya-"

"Don't use that, Lance. She's not." That's the truth. Walang ibang gusto na lalaki si Hillary doon.

"Nagtanong ka pa. You're the one who's done the research? Bakit alam mo?" He chuckled. "Bumalik na siya. Noong nakaraang linggo lang."

"You miss her?" he teased.

I clenched my jaw. It's been years since I didn't see her and Lance ask me if I miss her?

I stare at him darkly.

"Pahirapan mo muna siya." Tinapik niya ang balikat ko. "I know she has still feelings for you. She wants you back, Clay. Hayaan mong mabuo muli ang tiwala mo sa kaniya."

Iniwan niya ako. Pumunta siya sa kabilang lamesa kung nasaan ang ibang kaibigan. Napaisip ako. If she's still having a feeling for me then she will do everything, right?

"Will you marry me?" I kneeled in front of her, in front of her family, my family.

This is one of the things she will do. Magpapakasal siya sa akin. I want to build a family with her. Gusto ko naman makaranas ng buong pamilya at gusto ko iyon na mangyari kasama siya. Life was not that easy but because of her, I will do everything to make it easy. I will make her as my wife.

Kumikinang ang luha sa kaniyang mga mata. Those tears made me weak. Those tears were happiness. Happiness... That's happiness. She is happy.

She bit her lip and nodded. "I will, Clay. Surely." She smirked. Tumayo ako para yakapin siya nang mahigpit.

"Don't hurt my sister!" Her brother yelled and everyone laugh.

"I won't hurt you." I whispered.

Kumalas siya sa yakap. "I won't hurt you, too."

Before we could laugh, I leaned to kiss her. The taste of her lips is sweet. It will always remind me no matter what she did in the past, I could still feel the sweet in it. Kase... doon nagsimula, doon ko siya nakilala at doon ko siya sinumulan na minahal.

---------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading the first story in the series of Cold Heart. This is the last chapter. I guess... we have all intentions in everyone, but it must be right. We had all the reasons behind the bad intentions. Like what Hillary did, but let these bad intentions to end, make it right and do not use people to get what we want. Life isn't easy, and for everyone it's in your hand to make it less hard.