an: lol 64 like a stack in mc i'm so funny anyways enjoy the chapter

"Jaxon." I said sternly, entering my room where the boy in question had been the last few hours

It was time to talk.

Whether I wanted to or not, he was obviously not going to start any form of communication anytime soon. As much as I was still aggravated with him, I couldn't handle not having my favorite person even talk to me anymore.

Do I have any idea of what I'm gonna say? Not at all

It's gonna be difficult. That I know. Jaxon is stubborn, and so am I. It'll be pretty hard to go up to the love of your life and go "Hey bestie we haven't had a stable conversation in two weeks, which is not something I think people who are supposed to be in love with each other do haha"

But there's no turning back now.

Or maybe there is.

It really felt like there was now that I'd seen what he was doing in my room.

"You're..packing?" I ask, taking off guard

"Yeah? Clay is back, I can leave. I'm no longer needed" He answers, barely even glancing up at me

"What do you mean? I'll always need you" I try to reassure him

He pauses "Are you serious? After all of this time of us fighting you still want me fucking babying you??"

"What? No! Fuck, that's not what I mean, Jaxon. I don't want us fighting anymore" 

"Yeah, great. Say that the day before I leave to go back home why don't ya" He goes back to packing

"Tomorrow?? We're you even gonna tell me you were leaving so soon?" I question more

"I'd leave a note or something, you'd be fine"

I pause

"Jaxon, what the fuck" Is all I can say

He glares at me and crosses his arms, daringly urging me to go on

"I'm your partner. We're supposed to love each other. And you weren't even gonna tell me goodbye? No kiss, no hug, no words of reassurance, nothing? Just a silent leave?"

He chews on the inside of his cheek

"We're supposed to love each other. I haven't been feeling very loved lately" He responds

We stand for a minute. Just staring at each other from across the room.

"Please don't leave" I whisper out, on the verge of tears already

"Too late, the plane is already booked" No hint of sympathy could be found in his voice

"No, no, not like that. Just- just please don't break up with me, Jaxon" 

I sounded desperate.

But at this point, that's exactly what I was.

His glare faltered slightly

"Listen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I put so much stress and pressure on you. That I surrounded you with depression. That I dragged you into all of this mess and made you take care of me. I'm so sorry. I'll say it a million times, I'll do fucking anything for you to forgive me. But Jaxon, I can't loose you. I don't know what I'd do, I'm begging you please don't leave" I plead from the bottom of my heart

I wrap my arms around myself in an attempt to feel some sort of comfort. I try not to fall to the floor as my knees go weak from the shock of so much sudden emotion. I'd been keeping this in for days. I let my eyes close as my tears fall down my face rapidly.

We stand in silence as I sob. And suddenly, I feel arms wrap around me in one of the tightest hugs I'd ever felt. 

One hand in my hair, gripping it tightly. The other around my waist, pulling me closer.

I unwrap myself from my own grip I had, and replace it on the body in front of me. I wrapped my arms as far as they could go, returning the tight hug.

"I'm so sorry, Willow." He whispers, I could hear the break in his voice

"I'm not okay. Neither of us are. We shouldn't have taken that out on each other. I'm sorry I isolated myself. Can we.. Can we please just promise to help each other through this? And be there for each other? I really don't wanna loose my best friend either"

"Of course, Jax. Have you.. have you talked to your therapist lately?" I cautiously question

 "I haven't been on my phone in days. So I've practically had no communication with anyone.." He says in a whisper, realizing how bad it was for his mental health 

"Baby.." I cup his face with a saddened expression "Let's both talk to our therapists. And call your parents too. I've been ignoring texts and calls from Toby and the squad so I'll tell them that we're okay, or at least working on being okay"

"Okay, yeah that sounds good" He gives a sad small

I start to walk off before he tugs on my arm

"One more hug?" He asks

I smile before embracing him once more

*Time skip brought to you by Ranboo's fruitiness*

"Willow! Rix is here to see you!!" Clay yells from downstairs 

"Coming!" I yell back

Jaxon left this morning. It was a sad goodbye, and we both felt bad about spending our time together in such a negative mindset. 

But we're gonna work on it. No matter what, as long as we have each other, we'll be okay.

"What's up Rix?" I ask, coming to the door

"Heyyyyyyyy bestieeeeee" Xe says, slurring her words

"Woah, you alright?" I ask, clearly seeing how wobbly she was

"Oh I'm doing aaaabsolutely phenomenal" They answer, stumbling into the house

"Are you high? I thought you handled your weed well" I question

"I'm not high!! But I'm sure as hell not sober" They giggle

"You just love breaking the law on drug and alcohol consumption, dontcha?" I sigh "Come on loser, lets go sit outside"

"Hehe, breaking the law is funnnnnn" 

"Babes, how much did you drink?? A you seem fucking wasted. And where did you get alcohol? Clay, can you get him a bottle of water?" 

"I didn't have much, Norman says I'm a lightweight, whatever that means" Their Russian accent was as prominent as ever when they were drunk

"Who the hell is Norman?" I laugh

"Some cute boy I met at the barrrrr. But not as cute as you, baby" She hoops my nose

"So you're the flirty kinda drunk, gotcha" I say, grabbing the water bottle for xe to drink

"Mmmm, so Jaxon is gone, right? He's back in Cali?" He questions as we both take a seat in the backyard

"Sure is, he left this morning" I answer as xe starts to chug the water

"How are you two doing?" 

"We're alright. We got into a big argument the other day, didn't talk for days. But we realized it and talked it out and we're working on it. We'll be fine, we just both gotta get in a better mental state, y'know?" I explain, looking up at the stars

"What was the argument? Do I gotta beat em up??" He puts hands up in a fighting stance

I chuckle before debating what exactly to say "I was super depressed with the Clay situation, and he was super stressed with taking care of me. It just wasn't a good clash."

"Mmmmmm, he didn't hurt you or anything, right?" 

My eyes widen "Nonono, of course not! He would never"

"Good, I don't want anything happening to my Willow" He lays his head on my shoulder as we both look up at the stars

Silence, other than our breathing and the soft sounds of the night of course

It was nice, calming. It felt nice to finally have some peace of mind.

"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" Xe says out of the blue

"Yeah it-"

Wait

She picks up her head from my shoulder

"Was that.. what I think it was? Like a-"

"A Japanese love confession? Yeah, it was" 

"Wait, so you..?" 

"Willow I think I'm falling in love with you" He stares into my eyes

"Rix.. I'm- I'm sorry but I'm in love with Jaxon" I panic

"I know but" She takes my hand "Polyamory?"

"I'm sorry, Rix. We've barely known each other, and I'm not polyamorous. I can't, I really am sorry" I take my hand away

"Yeah, I figured. I just" They sigh "I think I just needed the rejection to get over you, y'know?"

"I guess, yeah.."

We sat in awkward silence, both of us mainly wanting to be alone but too scared to say anything

I just can't seem to catch a break..

Words: 1374

Date: May 1st, 2022

(an: WHAT UP BITCHES, NEW CHAPTER. TAKE IT, FEAST ON IT, PROBABLY NOT GONNA BE ANOTHER ONE FOR ANOTHER MONTH LMFAOOOOO. anyways, ranboo is gay good for him. he's gonna say straight in this book purely for the fact that willow can make fun of him for being straight lmao. take care of yourselves please!! i love you guys sm. remember you are beautiful, smart, loved, and valid <33 bye bye my darlings!!)