"BENJAMIN J. SHURLEY IS AN ASSBUTT!" Cas yelled out.

"Again," Charlie said calmly, sipping a glass of wine.

"BENJAMIN SHURLEY IS THE STUPIDEST, UGLIEST, MOST PATHETIC PIECE OF TRASH IN THE WORLD!"

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Charlie asked. Cas nodded, taking a drink from his beer and trying to ignore the current program on Charlie's TV.

Benjamin Shurley was Cas's new ex-boyfriend. The pair had been dating for a few months, and Cas thought things were going well, until today, when he walked in on Benjamin cheating on him.

So even though Cas was thoroughly pissed off, the break up still stung. Benjamin had been nice, and Cas had liked him a lot. 

So Cas did the only logical thing one could do when they experienced a break up. He called his best friend, who happened to be Charlie, and told her everything.

Charlie demanded he show up at her apartment immediately while she made a supply run for ice cream and booze.

Now, three hours of sad movies and ice cream wallowing later, Cas had to agree with Charlie that Benjamin J. Shurley was an asshole who didn't know what he had just thrown away. 

Yelling that fact only helped confirm it.

"Now what?" Cas asked. He was partially buzzed, Charlie had downed an entire bottle of wine, and they'd been through at least three cheesy romance movies.

"Now......" Charlie thought for a moment. "We should totally put on Taylor Swift and dance around."

"Or we could sit here and see what else is on TV,"

"We should order pizza."

"YES."

"Do they sell liquor at pizza places?"

"Not if you're getting delivery."

"Eh, oh well. What kinda pizza do you want?"

"Don't care."

"......DUDE."

"What?"

"GUMMY BEAR PIZZA."

"Don't think they make that."

"Then let's get a cheese pizza and PUT GUMMY BEARS ON IT."

"....Perfect."

So Charlie ordered a pizza and they flipped through the TV channels even though nothing was on.

"Turn to channel 394," Charlie ordered.

"Why?"

"Because Severus Snape demands it."

".....Good enough for me." Cas punched in the number and they clicked on the channel, freezing instantly as a rather explicit scene zapped onto the screen.

"Oh my god," Charlie's eyes widened.

"OH MY GOD," Cas repeated.

"SNAPE GAVE US THE NUMBER FOR THE PORN CHANNEL!" Cas burst out laughing.

"I'll change it,"

"NO!"

"....Why, do you want to watch porn?"

"Well, I mean, that chick's kinda hot."

"Which chick- oh sweet Merthur that dude's hot."

"We're leaving the porn on."

"Yeah, we're leaving the porn on."

"Still wanna put on Taylor Swift and dance around?"

"With porn playing in the background?"

"Yep."

"....Sure."

*****

By the time the doorbell rang, signifying that the pizza had arrived, Charlie and Cas were dancing around with hairbrush and beer bottle microphones, wearing novelty sunglasses and singing along to Taylor Swift and Amy Winehouse songs while porn played proudly on the TV.

Charlie was jumping on the couch, having traded her sweatpants for a pair of shorts so that she could dress like Tom Cruise from Risky Business.

It was an interesting sight for the pizza delivery man to take in as Cas opened the door, to say the least.

Cas propped the ridiculous star shaped glasses on his head and opened the door, his eyes widening at the sight of the pizza delivery man.

He was hot.

Green eyes, blond hair, muscular, and looking tough yet stupid in the pizza place's orange uniform. 

"Large cheese pizza for Charlie?" He questioned. Cas nodded dumbly and Charlie sprang off the couch, leaning against the door frame and giving the delivery man a once over.

"Oooooo, you're cute," She commented as Cas dug through his pockets for pizza money. "What's your name?" The guy smirked.

"Dean," He replied. "But sorry sweetheart, I don't play for your team." Charlie gasped.

"Hot AND gay! Wonderful! This is Cas!" She slapped Cas on the back and grinned. "He's a single pringle who's ready to mingle. You two should hook up."

"Charlie!" Cas hissed, his face going red as Dean laughed. "Sorry, she's had too much wine already." He handed Dean the money and took the pizza. "Thanks,"

"Nooooo, he should stay!" Charlie pleaded. "Please stay! We have music! And pizza!"

"Sorry, I'm working," Dean apologized. "Maybe next time."

"Aww, okay." Charlie nudged Cas meaningfully. "Give him your number," She whispered far too loudly for it to be considered a whisper. Cas's eyes widened and his face went even redder.

"I'll see you around," Dean offered.

"Yep, bye," Cas said awkwardly. Dean headed down the hall and Cas slammed the door shut.

"Why'd you do that? He was hot!"

"He was the freaking pizza delivery boy!"

"Exactly, he's a perfect rebound. You should tap that."

"Well, he's gone now. Just eat your pizza and watch your porn."

"No way, you're gonna do this." Charlie thought for a minute. "....We should order another pizza and have him deliver it."

"What? No."

"You're right, we could never eat that much pizza. Let's smash this one, and order another."

"And waste a perfectly good pizza?"

"You're right, Satan would never forgive us. Let's say he screwed up the pizza, and demand we speak to the delivery boy."

"That doesn't make sense."

"True, true.....I KNOW!" Charlie grabbed her phone and called the pizza place. 

"Oh no," Cas muttered.

"Pizza? Hi, listen. My friend just went through a bad break up and your delivery boy was really hot, so can he come back so that my friend could give him his phone number?" She paused. "No? Okay....Then I want two orders or garlic knots and Dean must deliver them." Cas facepalmed. "JUST DO IT OR I WON'T PAY, BITCH." She hung up.

"....Charlie?" Cas said eloquently.

"Yeah?"

"You didn't give them an address."

"....CRAP." 

*****

Half an hour later, the doorbell rang again, and Charlie and Cas practically trampled each other to get to the door. 

"Wait wait wait!" Charlie hissed, pulling Cas away form the door and looking through the peephole before letting out a squeal.

"What?" Cas hissed back.

"It's him!!"

"Then move!!" Striking overly casual poses, they threw open the door and smiled at Dean, who raised his eyebrows.

"Garlic knots?" He questioned. They nodded. "What, you guys having a last minute party or something?"

"Or we just want to see more of you," Cas admitted. Dean grinned.

"Well that's sweet, but you shouldn't waste your money on food you're not going to eat."

"Who said we weren't going to eat it?" Charlie piped up. Dean laughed.

"Good point." 

"You suuuuure you don't want to stay and party with us?" Cas asked, blushing.

"Still working," Dean said apologetically. 

"Shame."

"I know. You have a good night."

"You too." Dean headed down the hall and Charlie let out a groan and flopped into the hall.

"NOOOOOOO," She crowed. "COME BACK HOT PIZZA GUY! CASSIE'S TOO SOCIALLY AWKWARD TO ADMIT HE THINKS YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE!"

"CHARLIE!" Cas yelped, dragging her back inside. Dean's laughter echoed down the hallway.

They accepted the loss of Dean, AKA the hot pizza man, and pigged out on Garlic knots and pizza while watching the porn channel.

".....It has occurred to be that it's a little weird to be watching porn with my best friend," Cas commented. Charlie shrugged and attacked another slice of pizza.

"We're weirdos, Cas. This is only weird if you make it." The radio was still playing softly in the background, until a Shaggy song started up. They abandoned the food and cranked the volume.

"SHAAGGGGGGY!!!!!" They screeched, singing along.

"We should order another pizza!" Charlie declared. Cas thought for a second.

"What time does the pizza place close?"

"Uh, ten minutes?"

"ORDER! ORDER IT NOW!" Charlie threw the phone at him. 

"You order! They'll get suspicious if I call three times in a row!"

"Alright." Cas dialed the number, only to hear a familiar voice on the other end.

"Pizza Palace, how may I help you?" Dean said boredly. Cas screamed and threw the phone across the room. 

"What was THAT?" Charlie demanded.

"HE PICKED UP THE PHONE!" Cas screeched.

"OH MY GOD!" 

"WHAT DO I DO??!?!"

"TALK TO HIM!" Cas dove after the phone and Charlie screeched again. "AND ORDER ME A PEPPERONI PIZZA!" He rolled his eyes and warily picked up the phone.

"Hello?" Dean's voice questioned.

"Hello." Cas said awkwardly. He could practically hear Dean smile.

"It's Cas, isn't it?" Cas squeaked.

"What is it???" Charlie hissed.

"He remembered my name!" He whispered back.

"OH MY GOD I SHIP IT."

"Charlie!"

"DESTIEL."

"Soooo, did you want to order something, or sould I just come over again?" Dean questioned. 

"OH MY GOD," Cas hissed to Charlie before turning back to the phone. "Right, yeah, um, Charlie wants a pepperoni pizza."

"What size?"

"I dunno, what size do you like?" Cas stopped, realizing what he had said. "SHIT." Charlie had dropped to the floor and was cackling. Cas could tell Dean was trying not laugh on the other end.

"I'd say medium sized," He offered. "But large is always nice if you're really hungry. Whichever you prefer."

"Let's go with a Medium." Cas squeaked. 

"Looks like you'll be the last pizza of the night," Dean commented. "Are there any other special instrucions for your order."

"Just one." Cas grinned. "Send it with your hottest delivery boy."

"Sorry, I think Benny went home already."

"Oh bummer, I guess you'll just have to deliver it yourself." 

"Guess so."

They hung up shortly after, and Cas slowly turned to Charlie with wide eyes.

"So you prefer medium sized pizzas, huh?" She said, grinning smugly. Cas let out a scream, and she joined him.

******

Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on the door. They opened the door once more, only to see Dean brandishing another pizza. The orange uniform was gone though, replaced with a tight fitting T-shirt and jeans, complete with a leather jacket. Cas raised his eyebrows.

"Jackpot," Charlie muttered to him, snagging the pizza.

"Offer still stands," Cas smiled. "You're welcome to party with us." He thought for a second. "Well, party being listening to music and eating pizza, because we're dorks."

"I PREFER THE TERM NERD!" Charlie called, digging into the pizza already.

"Well, it's always nice to hang out with fellow nerds and dorks," Dean grinned. He glanced past Cas and caught sight of the TV. He raised an eyebrow at Cas. "Are you guys watching Casa Erotica 13?"

Cas's eyes widened. He wasn't sure what was worse- that hot pizza man could name the exact porno on the TV, or that a hot guy had caught him watching porn in a half drunk lesbian's apartment.

"YES!" Charlie answered. "Snape led us to the porn channel!"

"It's a long story," Cas offered. Dean shrugged and stepped inside. 

"I'd be happy to hear it." He insisted.

"Wonderful!" Charlie insisted, slamming the pizza lid shut and taking the box with her. "Bedroom's in the back. You two go have sex, and I'll finish the pizza downstairs."

"Charlie!" Cas's face went red once more.

"You'll thank me later, Cassie!!" She skipped away, leaving them alone. Dean thought for a moment and then laughed.

"What?" Cas questioned, half grinning.

"I remember a porno kinda like this."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. A pizza man and a babysitter."

"Oh, I think I know which one you mean."

"Too bad you're not a babysitter," He smirked. Cas smirked right back.

"Well, watching Charlie is kinda like babysitting."

"Good enough for me."

******

Charlie was right.

Cas would definitely be thanking her later.