Ryan locked me in the cupboard that night. Considering it was summer in New York, I sweat through all my clothes and the only thing that kept me going was the fact that this was definitely not the worst outcome I could have faced. Ryan could have hit me, punched me or even denied me bathroom breaks. He did none of them. I was glad.

It was Friday night when he finally let me out of the cupboard when my senses finally went haywire. This was wrong. No way would my brother let me off the hook that easily. I know I must have fucked up majorly because Ryan had to apologize on my behalf. His pride must have taken a serious hit. He would never, ever let me off that easy after what happened.

"Ryan?", my dry mouth finally had the courage to pronounce the words.

Ryan didn't answer but his right hand roughly clasped my wrist as he dragged me down the stairs. Renatta was gone on a business trip. I knew that because I had heard Ryan and her having a conversation two night ago, so it was not a surprise that the house was empty. I know Ryan had no qualms about hitting me in front of our mother as she usually ignored my existence but he definitely would never go too far in front of her. Without her however I did not know what he was capable of.

My heart beat wildly in my ears when Ryan continued to drag me through the house while ignoring my pleas but my anxiety finally went through the roof when he dragged my protesting body out of the house and into his car. What was this? What was he doing?

"Ryan please", I gulped as my nerves pulsed and sweat beads began to gather on my temple. "Ryan I am sorry. I really am. Please", I heaved even though I didn't know what I was apologizing for. My gut screamed and my confidence cowered at the wild thoughts of what he could do to me presented itself in my head.

"Shut up", his gruff voice spoke for the first time. My hands shook.

I sat silently as he drove. I should just surrender to whatever he had planned. I really should. It's not like I could escape whatever he wanted to do to me. Maybe he was just trying to scare me before he could take me back to the house where he would hit me like normal? Yes, that must be it.

The car finally came to a standstill in a dark lane and I nervously glanced around. Would he just hit me here? Maybe he did not want to have blood around the new house. He couldn't kill me surely? He might hate me but at the end of the day he was my brother. That has to count for something right? Right?

During the time I spent speculating my fate, I never noticed that Ryan was saying something to me.

"-out"

"Huh?", was my dumb response as I finally tuned into whatever my brother was saying.

"I. said. get. out", Ryan enunciated with a blank look in his eyes but I could see him seething underneath. This was new. Ryan was never that angry at me. My nerves shook as I slowly shook my head. I couldn't speak afraid my voice would shake portraying how truly scared I was.

"GET OUT", Ryan screamed while delivering a sharp slap to my face.

Tears ran down my face but I stubbornly refused once again. Inside the car was known. He was the evil that I knew. I knew what to expect, I could predict what he could do. And don't they say evil that you know was always better than the evil you don't?

My door opened on its own while Ryan manhandled me out of the car. I landed roughly on the uneven pavement and I could feel blood pouring freely down my hand where a jagged rock had surely cut it open. i desperately tried to call out my brother's name. He couldn't do this. he wouldn't do this! With a throbbing head and pounding heart I watched as the door closed and the car sped off into the darkness leaving me on my own in the unknown depths of a city I don't know and surrounded by people who could not do me any good.

As i stared into the darkness my thoughts were confirmed when in the darkening silhouette of the night I saw the figure of a man raising his hand before a loud bang went off. Someone slumped down and a something in his hands broke. My eyes widened as I saw the man who fired the gun bend down and collect something from the slumped body before running off.

Where the fuck did my brother leave me?

I stood up and ran.