Three more days passed and I slowly tried to withdraw from whatever activity Gabrielé or Niccoló or Ercole would try to drag me into. I knew what this was. Maybe it was one of their tricks for psychological torture or whatever. They'd be nice to me for a few days and then use me for whatever purpose they had with me.
I also couldn't underestimate them about this just because I had avoided them for a few days. This was their job. They did it for a living. And I'm no trained professional. I didn't know what tricks people use and even though it hurts to say, I know I'm gullible at the best of times. But I couldn't do that here. I had to be stronger. I had to be on guard. I had to find my way out of this. I would survive.
Eraldo had apologized to me yesterday in the dark hallways when I was coming back from dinner to the guest bedroom. He had told me in a very unconvincing manner that he regretted grabbing me in a chokehold and for shouting at me and I, like any nice prisoner trying to survive, had blankly nodded my head in acceptance and swiftly made my exit.
Never believe them- was my absolute first and last rule.
Walking into the kitchen at 5 in the morning, determined to keep a jug of water in my current room so that I wouldn't die of thirst in the middle of the night, I didn't expect to see Federico Costa standing by the counter on his phone. Just as I was about to backtrack out of there a voice called out to me and I would rather jump off the ledge than ignore that voice.
"Do you need something?"
Softly shaking my head I replied in my most confident voice, "No- uh I just figured I could keep a jug of water with me in the room. It's fine though. I can just come down and drink water when I need-"
My ramblings were cut off when I saw him filling a jug himself and something about the scene just made me want to jump off the ledge even more. For completely different reasons.
"I'll carry it to your room", he said as he gave me a slight nudge to start walking and I chose to not argue with whatever the most authorative man in the house said. That would be the epitome of stupid.
As we walked Federico broke the silence with words that froze my fucking soul. Not even kidding.
"I know you are afraid of us."
I said nothing.
"I know you won't believe me right now and I know of our image painted by the media. All I am asking you is that you give us a chance and judge for yourself."
I couldn't not say anything this time however. I was always stupid like that, impulsive as they say.
"As if ", came a disbelieving laugh as I looked at him with slightly wide eyes. How insanely stupid does he think I am?
"Fiorenza", came a deep grumble in reply but for once it wasn't scolding me. It sounded unlike him.
I continued, "How do I know this is not just some game? How do I know you are not lying to me at this very moment? How do I know this chance of yours is not the one opportunity you need to blind me forever? How am I supposed to even begin to believe you when I know what I know? When I've heard what others have? But I am just some stupid little girl who will definitely fall for all those lies one of these days and everyone of you will-"
My slightly overwhelmed speech was cut off as large hands slowly engulfed my cheeks and my heart struggled against my ribcage like a caged bird. The man who was supposedly my eldest brother had leaned down to my level and as he looked straight into my eyes, for once I didn't look away. I had never seen his eyes be so open.
"I would never, ever lie to you", Federico omitted the unless it's for your safety part. That was drama for some other day. "You are my sister and all I ever wanted- want to do is protect you. I hope to be someone you can depend on and I hope to be someone you can trust. I will always support you bambina, no matter what."
I couldn't breathe. I didn't know what to think. But the man who had only ever scolded me was saying more words to me right now than he ever had. And I couldn't look away. My stupid, stupid mouth.
"I wasn't able to protect you that day", his pain was raw. I could feel it. And so was mine. "I couldn't protect you before those disgusting men got their hands on you", a single tear abandoned my eyes but before it could continue its journey, Federico gently wiped it, "I couldn't protect you that day Fiore, I couldn't even protect you the day she took you- but I swear to you I will protect you for the rest of my life. I know things can't go back to the way they were when you were three years old", his lips twisted upward - reminiscent- and my heart continued its painful struggle hopelessly, "But I missed you. I miss you. All your brothers have missed you too. I know you think we're dangerous men. We are, I won't deny it. But we will never, ever be dangerous to you in anyway. We would never intentionally be the cause for your tears. You are precious to each and every one of us bambina and we'd go through hell before ever hurting you."
I didn't know what to say. I really did not. All those things I swore to do, all those rules I had chosen to abide by were fizzling away like an opened can of coke and I desperately wished I could rush back and close it. Close of my emotions and my thoughts, go back to being the girl who adamantly believed no good would ever come out of this part of my life. But Federico said things which addressed every doubt, every single question in my mind and I couldn't help but fall for his words. Lies? Truth? My brain still couldn't comprehend what decisions it was making but at that very moment all it could do was reach my hands upto his larger ones on my cheeks and tightly squeeze them.
And he squeezed back just as tight.