ISAIAH PHILIPS

I've been working at the store and café lately to finish up my remaining shifts for the month. Occasionally I would bump into Ellie, but we would barely talk or even make eye contact. Even on campus when she sees me in the cafeteria or the library, she leaves. It's clear that we're avoiding one another, but I think it's for the best.

The sooner she gets over me the better.

                          ELLIE JONES

I don't know how long it will take for me to get over him, or how long it will take for me to stop loving him, but I have to. Avoiding him whenever and wherever I see him makes it harder for my feelings for him to resurface.

I've been spending a lot more time with Alfie too. He always picks me up from my classes, brings me out to eat and makes sure that I eat, and brings me to fun places, and he even brought me to an amusement park once. He is trying so hard, doing everything he can to make me happy again. It is nice, but it is never the same.

If I'm being completely honest with myself, hanging out with Alfie is my way of trying to forget the times I spent with Alfie. I thought that if I can show myself that I can be just as happy with someone else that I will be convinced that Isaiah isn't all that special and that I can forget about him. So far, my plan isn't working.

There is absolutely no denying the fact that Alfie is sweet, caring, and loving, but nothing we do together is ever the same.

Today, like the past week, Alfie is bringing me out for lunch. I have to applaud his effort for being so consistent. I thought that by now he would have given up.

"What do you want to have?" He asks, reading the menu. I pull my sleeves to cover my hands and tell him I'll have the pasta. After he orders, he asks me how my day went. It's become a routine now - one that I am starting to get annoyed at. I appreciate his efforts, and the lengths he's going to to make me feel better. But the way he treats me like I'm a fragile child who needs constant checking on doesn't make me feel any better. It makes me feel like a baby who needs him, who depends on him. I never asked for such sympathy. I only need time.

"Good I guess," I reply, there isn't much to ask since he's with me almost every day. I mean he should know how my day is better than me.

"I actually have to tell you something. It's about Isaiah." My eyes immediately shoot up. He notices my sudden interest and drops a bombshell.

"He's leaving for the states today. In an hour actually. I wanted to tell you sooner but I didn't know how you would react to it" he informs. I can't believe him. I leave without a second thought, not giving a damn if he's there alone. That isn't my concern now. My only concern as of now is that Isaiah is leaving, for god knows how long, and I might not see him for some time, maybe even a long time.

As soon as the taxi stops, I jump out. There's still a part of my heart that beats for him, and I don't want him to leave without us at least saying goodbye. I need some form of closure.

I try looking for him, but with no information on his flight, I'm lost. I check my phone and notice that it's already been more than an hour.

I missed him, in both ways. I sit on one of the empty chairs, my head between my hands. I am a mess, an emotional and physical mess. I tried so hard to stop loving him, but the fact that I'm sitting here right now is proof that doing so is much harder than I ever thought it to be. I should have at least gotten the chance to tell him goodbye. Looking at the planes that are taking off, the only thing running through my mind is if he will ever come back. Maybe he won't, but surely he will remember me and the beautiful memories we made together.

Is this the end for us? Will we end up being nothing more than a distant memory kept in the heads and hearts of the other?

I hope one day he'll come back, and we can answer these questions together.