ELLIE JONES

Haven't I had enough surprises lately? Initially, I thought that Alfie and Isaiah were merely friends. Maybe even good friends, or best friends, not that I know boys who claim to have best friends. That was probably a girl thing.

Okay not the problem now Ellie!

When I hear him snore lightly, I move his hands from my waist and cover him up with a blanket. I go downstairs, this new family dynamic throwing me off. Cuddling up on the sofa, I wonder if Alfie and Isaiah ever talked about me. I mean if they're cousins, they surely talk? I wait for him to wake up, not wanting to ask myself anymore unanswerable questions.

After about an hour, I hear heavy footsteps that can only be Isaiah's. I immediately follow the sound to the kitchen where he's drinking a glass of water. He definitely doesn't look as drunk as before. I hand him the box of pills, not that he looks like he is in much pain.

"Are you sober now?" I ask, folding my arms. He nods.

                     ISAIAH PHILIPS

As much as I want to be with her, after hearing the news about my mother, I know I'll be away for a while. It might be a month, or even months. By then, I might have more problems to deal with, and my life will get messier than it already is. It wouldn't be fair of me to drag Ellie into my mess, my life, when she can do perfectly fine here. Her life is settled, she has goals, she knows what she wants in life, but I don't. She even has someone willing to wait for her. Willing to be with her. Not that I am unwilling, but I'm unable. My inability to love her the way she deserves shouldn't impact her.

Alfie is normal, nice, romantic, and perfect for someone like her. He will treat her the way she needs to be, and that's enough for me.

"I have to go," I tell her after taking the pills. Knowing that what I'm doing means giving her up, letting her love someone else, letting her be with someone else, is heart wrenching and torturous. But it has to be done.

She gives me a look of shock, and I can tell beneath that look is hurt. I can hear her heart breaking and I am the cause of it all.

"You're just going to leave? You're not even going to attempt to explain yourself?" She asks, her voice cracking.

"What is there to explain? I was drunk, isn't that a good enough explanation?"

"I don't know, how about explaining why you would tell me that I'd be better off with your cousin Alfie instead of you?" She asks. My drunk self is clearly very straightforward.

"Looks like I've explained myself enough," I say, heading for the door. I said what I needed her to hear, there really isn't anything else to tell her.

She immediately blocks my exit with her body, "you're not leaving till you give me a satisfactory explanation," she says, holding both her arms out horizontally. She is making it so much harder to leave, to let her go.

"Move Ellie," I try to sound like I don't care, that I want to leave.

She shakes her head violently.

"Fine. You are better with him. He is able to love you the way you want to be loved, unlike me who will never be able to give you what you want. Do you really think I don't notice you constantly reading romance novels after romance novels? You clearly want a guy who's romantic, a guy who is able to provide you with constant reassurance, a guy like Alfie." I say, witnessing her eyes getting watery. As hard as it is for me to say it and for her to hear it, it is the truth, and one I think she already knows.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? I don't want someone to love me the way I supposedly want, I want someone to love me the way I need. And you love me the way I need Isaiah. Not Alfie, not anyone else. You!" She shouts out, tears falling down her rosy cheeks. Those are the words I want to hear, but I love her too much to let her be ruined my me.

"I have to go, please don't make this any more difficult," I whisper. She drops her hands, "after everything?" I couldn't even face her. She moves aside.

"Why is your heart always so caged, so guarded, so cautious? Why can't you stop guarding it and open up to me?" She says as I take a step out of the door.

"I can't," I whisper. "Why can't you? I've opened my heart to you without hesitation yet you can't do the same," she says. I hold back every tear. I wish it is that simple.

"Because I know that once I open my heart to you I'll never be able to cage it up again," I say. Which is a lie. My heart is already opened up to her, and any chance of me caging it back up is gone.

She eventually lets me leave, and I do. I have to leave.

For her.

                          ELLIE JONES

As soon as the doors slam shut, I drop down to the floor, sobbing, my heart has never felt pain like this before. I have never cried when I am with Alfie, the tears I shed when I am with him were never because of him. But with Isaiah, it seems that even though he undeniably makes me the happiest, he also brings me the biggest pain. Pain that I thought he would never put me through again. Yet he always seems to prove me terribly wrong.

When he left, when the door closed, it felt like there was no turning back to what we were.

It was naive of me to even think that the love we share for one another is strong enough to overcome any obstacle. I was a fool to think that everything was going great, that everything will be okay, that we would figure things out slowly, and that as long as we faced any problem hand in hand, we would have a solution.

But like time has proven, I should have known better.