Normally it's not usually such an awkward or.. tense silence between Ash and me. No matter what happens, or what insult was thrown. This however.. was almost too much to handle. I couldn't help but look at him every so often, or feeling as though he was looking at me, which was driving me fucking insane. Fezco's teasing echoing in my head. Such an ass.

   The anxiety I felt.. the silence was fucking excruciating.. I was almost begging for him to just insult me or something and get it over with. 

"You were supposed to stay in the room." I stalled for a second, the room suddenly coming to life and catching me off guard.

"Wha- I." I stopped for a second, trying to register.

"When Mouse showed up. You were told to stay in the fucking room." I squinted my eyes at him for a second, him still not looking up from whatever it was he was doing at the table. Stuff on the table blocking my view of what he was actually doing.

"It's not like I did anything." I tried defending, not really knowing how to navigate through this one. I didn't get them in trouble, and it's not like I don't know about their business, there for seeing no harm in easedropping .. besides it being unethical but like.. Everybody fuckin'  eavesdrops if given the right opportunity.

"You didn't listen, Marina." I sat up from the couch, looking at him, as if asking if he was being serious. Pretty sure he was.

"How the fuck did you even see me this time? Literally no one could see me- I saw no one!" I called his bluff. Hoping there was a bluff.

"That's where you're wrong. See there's this special little room in the house I like to hide out in. Has a window that I can oversee.. preeetty much the whole house, so.. " He seemed cocky, proud of his secret little fucking hideout.

"So, you're a fucking voyeur?" He narrowed his eyes at me quick.

"You were told to stay in the room." He switched topics back sharply.

"I only went originally 'cause of Rue." He shook his head, as if not following.

"Originally. So why else?" I shrugged. There being more than one reason.

"I don't know, curiosity mainly." He silently pushed me for more, his gaze burning into me.

"An' other reasons?" It was seriously like he was fucking taunting me. Jesus fucking Christ.

"Because I didn't want to be left in the room alone, okay!? Is that the reason you were fucking looking for?" I swear he really could be a dickhead sometimes.

   I stood up from the couch, going for the door. Guess I'll just go bug Fezco some more for now. We had a stare off as I made my way to the door.

"Next time listen." I made a face at him, hand on the door. The look was obvious mock, but his eyes weren't focused on me. But on something behind me. Whatever. So not in the mood. I go to turn towards the door, him not fazed by my childish act.

"Wait, Ma." I rolled my eyes to myself, looking at him with little patience. He doesn't say anything for a minute. Like he was testing me.. Or stalling. Distracting.

"What, Ash?" I asked, impatiently. He tried to form words, a reluctant look on his face.

"I'm sorry, for uh.. the carnival." I looked at him, almost like I didn't understand.. but with more annoyance. Like why would he.. A apologize and B, now? Literally I thought he only did it because he was bored or something, I don't even fuckin' know at this point.

"Why are- Whatever. It's whatever, Ash. It hasn't mattered this whole time, and it doesn't matter now." I go turn back to the door, once again getting cut off from him.

"Just!" I sigh quietly under my breath, closing my eyes as I thudded my head against the door.

"Jesus, Christ."

"Would you just- Your right, it doesn't fuckin' matter. So, then maybe you should try actin' like it doesn't either." Not gonna lie, something about the way he said that really hurt. Like really hurt. But it also made me mad.

"I don't!" His eyes flicked behind me, almost causing me to look but I was too focused on him now.

"Coulda fooled me." I rolled my eyes, my head partially rolling along with them.

"What the fuck ever, Ash. Seriously, I've learned by now not to like someone like you anyways." He seems to tune in more, having glanced behind me yet again. It was like he suddenly realized what we were talking about. The fuck is this kid- I go to look, stopping halfway.

"The fuck that's supposed to mean, someone like me?" I looked at him, as if asking him if he were stupid or blind.

"Ash, I'm literally in here most of the times you be doing your deals. Unsurprisingly, you gotta' lot of female buyers." I subtly point. It's not like he's fucked them, and even if he did.. Whatever.. I guess.. I mean not really but what the fuck ever. I'll be jealous quietly.

   He did eye fuck a few. The occasional head to toe look over. He never really let any get to close, some would try and talk to him, and he'd ignore them, shove them away or just tell them off. He's made one cry before.. I enjoyed that a little too much to be honest.

   But some well linger around, slithering their way into making conversation with him, and him falling for whatever bait they had set. Till eventually he seems to get tired of them, kicking them out. Usually, I end up going out front to talk with Fezco.

"It's not lik- You know what? Your right, it doesn't matter. This conversation never should have been brought up. Just get out, go talk to Fez or some'em." I clenched my jaw, feeling myself get worked up internally, trying to keep all the feelings in.

"Screw you." I mumbled. I knew if I tried to say it any louder the strain in my voice would have been more detectable. The chance of it cracking increasing. The tightness in my throat working its way down into my chest and sitting there heavily.

"Oh, uh, hey. You done hanging out in the back alright?" I nod, going to stand on the other side of the isle, hoping to get out of Ash's line of view. I just wanted to leave the store, actually. I don't care if I didn't have my bike and had to walk. At night, alone. Literally, I don't care. I rather deal with that than be here right now.

   Which honestly is the suckiest thing because I like going to Fezco to confide in him aaand.. sometimes that's just harder to do when it's about his brother.. Especially since he still doesn't know we kissed. I cringed at the mental reminder, not wanting to even think about him or his stupid kiss.

"Yeah, think I'm gonna just head home. It's been a while since just me and my dad hung out." I say, suddenly thinking of the idea. Suddenly making me miss my dad. Almost making me homesick.

"Ay, why don't you let one of us drive you home. Gettin' kinda late out." I shook my head, giving him a side hug.

"Nah, I'll manage. Night. Fezco." He seemed almost unsure, hesitant.

"Everythin's good between you and Ash, right?" I looked back at him with a forced smile, not even getting a step away.

"Yeah, he's just too busy to annoy right now. It's no fun when he's too focus on his work." I pout, usually feeling this way, so it made it easier to use as an excuse, but.. still harder, because I was just.. sad.

"Yeah, well. Listen, you gonna be good with that whole, Nate bullshit, right?" I nod to him, avoiding eye contact for a moment as I mentally start to dwell on that.

"Seriously I don't want you goin' near that kid, Marina. And I don't want you doin' anythin', go straight home, and text me when you do get home. So, I know yo ass is home safe." I give him a happy-sad smile, going back to hug him, a real hug this time.

"I'm too tired to even do anything if I wanted too tonight. I just wanna go home, maybe watch a movie with dad, or just go to bed. I don't know yet." He chuckles out some, knowing it was more than likely the truth.. which it was. I'm mentally fucking exhausted. And I'm sure after this walk home, I'll be physically fuckin tired too.

"You sure you don't wanna ride home? I'm sure I can get Ash to do it." I shook my head, trying not to be too quick about it.

"Nah, you guys got business to deal with. Thanks though." I go back in for another hug, him giving me a tight hug in return, catching me by surprise. I pause, hugging him tighter.

"Love ya, kid."

"Love ya too, Fez."