Guys I seriously hate one of the new classes I'm taking.  I miss my last class, that one was actually fun😭😩 

"So, like.. When did you find out our dad brought.. Amy to the house anyways?" Jules asks Ashtray. She sat on the couch behind him, him sitting in a chair closely to the hospital bed. He stared longingly at the girl before him, holding her hand gently in both of his. His thumb stroking the back of her hand, mostly to comfort himself more than the girl. He could tell there was more to Jules's question, causing him to look back at her partially.

"After I kicked her out, and she started doin' shit with Rue and that-" He made a face, lip raised bitterly.

"-guy, whoever the fuck he is.. She showed up at the store, maybe like, I don't know two, three days later." Jules nodded, remembering the time frame roughly.

"Yeah, Fezco called me." He nods, glad she did in fact remember when.

"So yous know she showed up fuckin' high.. I tried yellin' at her to go home, but she didn't want to. I knew before she didn't want to go home also, I just, I never really pushed her about it." He tried to brush it off but Jules knew. She knew he liked the time he was spending with her, having her in his life. 

   But she figured to stay silent, and let him continue. Keeping the observation to herself. 

"-When she showed up high like that I figured to question her about it while I could, ya know?" She nods again to show she's following along, as he gives a small shrug at the end. Did he feel bad about taking advantage of questioning the girl while she was completely out of it? Kinda but at the same time not really. He wasn't getting answers from Marina at the time, and well he didn't care about talking to Jules back then.

"She, uh. She said something to ou- to Amy. Did she ever say anything about that? Like, what she said to her?" Ashtray, finally got the point of this whole conversation. But sadly, he couldn't answer that one.

"All she said was that she told her off aaaand, then she left." Jules frowned but somehow expected so. It was silent for a brief second, Jules smiling flatly to herself.

"Oh and you know that guy? His name is Elliot.. He, uh.." Jules wanted to chuckle playfully at Ashtray's jealous behavior, but couldn't bring herself too as she thought about what she was gonna say next. Ashtray side eyes her dully, not really in the mood to be talking about the other male Marina had bonded with. While doing drugs together no less.

"He's the one that told me everything. Where she was, what she was doing. How.. badly we hurt her. She talked about you at her best, and even at her lowest.. You were still always on her mind. She loved you, Ashtray. He told me so.." Ashtray who had turned back in his chair, keeping his head straight, lowered his head as she finished. His head hung low, his heart so badly aching for the girl in front of him. To really say sorry to her. To really say he loved her. Not a rushed version because he was afraid if he hadn't said it then, he'd never have been able to say it at all.

   Jules' lip trembled into a pained smile, watching as a tear rolled down his cheek. He sniffs quietly, wiping his face once. 

"He wanted to tell you in person but.. Well he wasn't sure if he should. He's still kinda hesitant 'cause of the whole Rue thing." Jules suddenly found herself getting off topic to try and explain. 

"It woulda been so much easier.. hadn't y'all met us. She wouldn't been hurt, the Nate bullshit, having to flush everything.. Who knows, maybe the whole fucking Mouse bullshit could have been avoided too!" Jules knew why his mood had shifted.. Sighing deeply as she nods to herself. 

"So does that mean you wish you didn't meet her?" Ashtray refuses to meet her eye, hesitating a moment before answering her.

"..Yeah. Would have been easier for everyone." He says with false confidence. She raises a brow at him.

"So does that mean you regret all the times you made her to smile, or giggle and spaz out like a weirdo when you called on Christmas alone? Or, or for making her smile the way she did when you gave her that tattoo? Do you regret the look in her eyes when she looks at it? The way she'd smile and roll her eyes when you guys would tease each other..?" Jules didn't hang out all the time at the store like Marina or even Rue would sometimes, but she's seen her sister around Ashtray enough times to know what her sister felt for the boy was genuine. And what he felt for her.. was just the same. She seen the way he'd try and hide his smiles, try and keep his eyes from lingering to long on the girl. The way he would look so pissed off at the world, but a sliver of sunshine would shine over his dark stormy clouds just by hearing her name.

   He stayed quiet for a long time. So badly wanting to agree. To set it in stone and hope that somehow this would just magically blow over. Or somehow, everything would just restart. If he could start everything over again, he'd.. he'd never let his brother get so close to the girl. He's never get so close.. But it wasn't going to magically blow over and they weren't going back in time anytime soon. Besides, he doesn't actually wish that. That was just his guilt talking. And now his guilt thinking was just making his feel worse. 

"Of course I don't! I just-" He sighed deeply in his own frustration. Jules giving a flat smile.

"Exactly. You don't. Because you looked at her the same way she looked at you. You smiled every time she smiled, even if you tried hiding it." He nods sarcastically as he had partially turned back to face her, her smiling playfully at the boy. 

"What's done is done. And as much as we'd all love to play the blame game.. it's doing nothing but making us miserable Ash. We both know that's not what Marina wants. Besides.. if there's anyone to blame.. I'd say it's my father." It was quiet for a second, Jules turning serious and Ash.. Ashtray flinching.. He knew he forgot something.

"Uh.. About that." Ashtray wasn't sure how to word it. Honestly this was something he should have said before but, well when emotions are flared up, you're too much in your head and unfocused, it's hard to keep track of what's been said and what hasn't. So much has been brought up, so much has been going on.. 

"What? What is it? What else don't I know?" It was nature Jules would be quick to catch on, already on the fence. Ashtray sucked how teeth, turning back more in the chair.

"I uh. You know how your sister kept stuff from you?" He asks slowly, Jules really being quick to catch on now but didn't want to just assume. Giving him a almost knowing but cautious look.

"What else did she keep secret?"

"So. Your dad does know about her being left home. And he knows your mom was a bad mom but, he didn't- She didn't tell him either, Jules." He added softly. Her eyes softened, a full understanding sinking in further. She was still mad, mad at her father for not divorcing their mother sooner. For not noticing his other daughters pain sooner. Her own guilt resurfacing and wanting her to take that out on her father. Because she knew..

If their father hadn't been so focused on Jules, and the hatred their mother was inflicting on Jules.. than maybe he'd have noticed Marina's pain too.

   They both tensed for a minute, expecting it to be the very person they were talking about. In case you couldn't tell, David still wasn't fond of the boys. If it were up to him, Ashtray would be in jail. He hurt his baby. She was comatose, while he walked around conscience and free.

   They relaxed, seeing it was Fezco. Fezco noticed the mood in the room instantly, looking between the pair worriedly.

"Uh.. We all good in 'ere?" He asks slowly, cautiously making his way in the room as he closes the door behind him. Ashtray closes his eyes, giving his head a small single shake. 

"Yeah, man. Just.. There was some'em I forgot to tell Jules.. 'Bout their father and shit." Fezco raises a brow, looking back over at Jules. As if to see if she was okay with whatever it was she heard. She gave a small assuring smile.

"And was it.. like bad?" Ashtray shrugged once harshly. Jules shrugging once as well but less aggressively.

"Depends on your definition of bad. Is not telling your father that you're being hurt and abused by your own mother, because he's to busy worrying about his other daughter, sound bad to you? Fezco's head snapped to Ashtray. Ashtray already sensing the look his brother was giving him as he whipped to look at him in defense.

"That's not what I said!" Jules laughed out half heartedly. Their attention turning to her now for explanation.

"No, no. It's just.. I get why she didn't say anything. Like, I really.. really get it now. I knew it was because of me but.. It really was because of me she didn't tell us about it. He was so busy trying to fight for me that.. She didn't want him fighting for her too." Fezco knew how their chats went when they met up together.. he was at least hoping to say hello before diving into the depressive talk. 

"Nah, nah. Wait. Okay, back up. I need more before I comment. What led to this?" Fezco turns back to his brother, knowing he's reliable for short, quick to the point answers. Ashtray exhaled in defeat. 

"I was being stupid, saying stupid shit-" Jules raised a brow at him, tilting her head to the side.

"He means it started with him being petty.." He glared at her, not amused as Fezco nodded with a small smile working its way on his face unwillingly.

"Right, right.. About what?" Fez tried to follow along, not lasting long as his interest diverted to that topic for a brief second.

"A boy he thought Marina might have had a thing for, which she didn't. He started saying how he wished we all hadn't have met. How it would have been easier that way." Jules explains casually. Fezco  turned to Ashtray harshly, not liking that one bit. Not just him still blaming himself for the girl but because he too knew it wasn't true. And he himself most certainly does not wish they hadn't met. Sure, things got a little fucked up in the end there. Maybe even since the beginning in some way but, they still had fun. They had become family. 

"Obviously I don't actually. Jesus..." Ashtray defended before his brother could start.

"After that, she said it was her dad's fault. But, I mean, I forgot to tell her that Marina kept this shit from him too. He knew about her being left home and shit but, Marina didn't tell him that the bottle was actually from their mom throwing it at her. Or that she was forced to listen to their mom constantly tell her how much she hated them, regret having them." Ashtray found himself doing it again, Fezco raising his arms up to calm him before he could fully shift moods. He growled out frustratedly. Did he, or even Jules for that matter completely blame David for not noticing? No. That's why Jules feels so bad, because she felt like if it wasn't for her taking all the "attention" from their father, than maybe he would have noticed Marina's pain too. Did she, and Ashtray and maybe even Fezco think that.. maybe his dumbass should have? Of course. Just as they felt like they should have. 

"Yo dad still hates us right?" Fezco asked, looking over to Jules as he silently calmed his brother in front of him. He was calm, just trying to keep it contained, hoping he didn't retreat without him. His curfew was quickly approaching. Ashtray frowned at Fezco's question. Jules nodded reluctantly. 

Fezco sighs in defeat, any hope of, well anything was out of the question. Friendly chat, a heart felt apology.. He knew their father deserved one, from them no less. But, well how much more hurt was this father supposed to take. Almost loosing his daughter and the guys that walked free came up to say sorry? I mean, maybe some people might be happy with that, but Fezco just couldn't see any father being okay with that. Jules watched Fezco's reaction, a thought lingering in the back of her mind. 

"Right.. Don't really blame the dude neither. Look, Jewel.. I know you want to be mad at him, fuck we all do just like we wanna be mad at ourselves but.. I don't know. He still up father, ya know? Maybe just try talking to him. I think the best thing y'all could do is talk to each other, be there. Don't hide here and avoid him, ya hear me?" He tries and console the lonely teen girl, offering a encouraging smile at the end. She smiled back, a slightly forced one but genuine nonetheless. He did after all help her. Help her decide her next course of actions. Help her see what needed to be done next. He's right.. Best thing to do, is just.. Talk it out.