Chapter 11

Krystina's POV
I felt so much pain saying bye to Aiden. It just felt like an honest action when I kissed him, I don't know why I did it but I liked it. I was escorted by one of the nurses into my room. There were two beds but only one had a mattress on it, I guess I have a room to myself.

"For now you won't have a roommate but we have one assigned. She should be here within the next few days if not a week." He hands me my bag and the other nurse starts getting my bed ready. "There is a list of rules in the bag. Read them and memorize them because there is only one time a rule can be broken without consequences. You will be given medication in the morning and the evening, odds are you'll need some in the afternoon as well but we will let you know." I look out the door and see a boy standing there looking at me. He blinked then walked away. I look back at the nurse speaking to me.

"If you feel suicidal then let any of the nurses know and we will help you. In the commons area there is a schedule, it has times for group, times for which lunch you take and times for you to do chores and earn privileges. Do you understand me so far?" I nod and the other nurse walks over to me. Now she starts talking while the guy removes my shoes, the fuck are you doing?

"We are removing your shoes, you will be given socks and Velcro shoes in a moment-" just then the male nurse walks out of the room. "You are to follow the schedule. The only thing you're allowed to miss are chores but for every chore you miss privileges will be harder to earn because point get taken away. You must take all meds given to you and you must eat all of your food, no exceptions. If you miss group you will be forced to go into a private counseling session every day, group is every other day so I suggest going to group. When you get your roommate you are not only responsible for yourself but for her as well, if she talks about hurting herself or anyone else you must immediately tell a nurse for the safety of all of our patients, if you don't tell us then there will be severe consequences. Do you understand all we've told you?" I look over and see the male nurse come in with white Velcro shoes and fuzzy white socks. I walk over to him and grab my shoes.

"Thank you." He nods and I sit on my bed putting on my socks, leaving my shoes under my bed. "I understand."

"Do you have any questions?" They ask in unison.

"How much do I have to do to see my friends as quickly as possible?" I stand up and the female nurse walks over to the male nurse.

"Do what you're told and follow all the rules. You'll see them in due time." I nod and both the nurses walk out of my room. I open my bag of stuff and take out the paper of the rules. I hold it close to my chest and walk out of my room. I see rooms lined all the way down on both sides; I came from the right so I'll go left. I start walking by slowly seeing all the people in their rooms.

"Hey!" I jump back and see a boy to my left.

"Hello." I say quietly.

"I'm Jordan, what's your name?" He holds out his hand never letting the smile fade from his face.

"I'm Krystina." I grab his hand and he shakes it hard causing me to pull my hand back quickly.

"You're new, why are you here?" I swallow hard; I don't exactly know why I'm here.

"I'm pretty messed up is all I really remember." He nods and grabs my hand again.

"Oh, you cut too. Look." He rolls up his long sleeves and I see marks even worse than mine on his arm, I run my fingers over one word, dead. "Yeah that one was what sent me here." I pulled my hand back and looked up at him. He rolled down his sleeve, why don't I have long sleeves? I want long sleeves; I look down and see he has sweat pants on. I want sweat pants too! "I took a lot of pills and cut so deep and stayed in an overflowed bathtub."

"Why do you sound so happy about it?" I say sickened, I quickly cover my mouth. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Nah its fine. I'm happy about it because I was so close, now I can only get closer to being dead." He winks at me and backs away. "I'll see you later crazy." He walks down the hall away from me.

"I'm not crazy." I say to myself walking down the hall again. I keep looking into everyone's room, I saw a lot of young people but there was the occasional 30-40 year old. Soon I saw a hallway to my right, I follow down and I see an opened door. I walk over slowly and see there are people sitting in a circle. I'm about to back away when a lady looks up at me.

"Hi!" She stands up. "Do you wanna come in?" I step in and see people staring at me.

"I'm sorry for interrupting. I'm just a little lost." Not really, I was being nosey looking around.

"It's fine sweetheart! Come on and join us. We have two free seats." She directs me to a chair between a scrawny boy with bugged eyes and a girl with scars everywhere and shaking anxiously. I clear my throat, walk to the seat and sit down. "What's your name little lady bug?" I smile at the nickname for some reason.

"I'm Krystina." She smiles wide.

"Well my, my, my! You're actually in the group!" She smiles and pats her knees, "Well I'll be damned. They told me you were coming in today; I figured you want to get to look around before coming for your next group. Everyone say hello to Krystina!" Everyone says 'hey' in monotone voices. I nod at the general group. "Let's all introduce ourselves! Let's start with myself. Let's tell Krystina our names, our age, our favorite color and why we are here." She stands up and smiles at me. "My name is Danni, short for Danielle, I'm 21 years old, my favorite color is hot pink and I am here to help all of you get better." She looks to her right and a girl groans and stand up.

"I'm Tara, 18, black and I'm here because everyone fucking hates me and thinks I'm suicidal." I see Danni's face drop.

"Alright can we be a bit more positive, your turn Dustin." Tara sits down and Dustin stands up.

"Dustin, I'm 20, I like the color grey I guess-"

"It's a shade dumbass." I look over at a guy slouching in his chair.

"Behave Trevan!" Danni says in a strict voice, "I don't want to take any more privilege points away from you." The Trevan guy just shrugs his shoulders. "Please continue Dustin." Dustin's head is down now.

"I'm here because I almost shot myself in school." He quickly sat down.

"Hey Dustin." I say without even realizing I was gonna say anything. He looks up at me.

"Grey is a fucking awesome COLOR." I say looking over at the Trevan kid. He rolls his eye at me, I look back over to Dustin and he smiles at me. I smile back and sit back waiting for the next few people to say their stuff. After 3 more people the girl next to me stand up and starts having a panic attack. I blink and grab her hand; she looks down and swallows hard. "It's ok. We can talk alone." She smiles at me and I stand up letting her sit down.

"Here she is folks! Princess Save-A-Bitch!" Trevan says clapping his hands. I glare at him and the next thing I know he's on the floor crying. I retract my glare and I see him stand up slowly completely serious. He looks at me scared then sits down never looking at me.

"Are you alright Trevan?" Danni asks walking over to him.

"I'm fine! Let's just get this over with!" He says yelling. Danni sighs and sits back in her chair gesturing to me.

"I'm Krystina-" I look over at Trevan, he's not looking up at all anymore and he's curled into a ball, "Spelt K-R-Y-S-T-I-N-A. I'm 21, my favorite color is blue." I look at the ground and sigh. "And I don't exactly remember why I'm here." I look up and see everyone, even Trevan, looking at me. "I don't remember anything. When I woke up from an apparent suicide attempt I didn't remember anything, not even my name. So I don't know." I felt self conscious with everyone staring at me when I feel someone grab my hand. I look over and see the girl beside me smile.

"My name is Frayia, spelt F-R-A-Y-I-A. I'm 22, favorite color is green, and I am here because I almost jumped in front of a subway train." I smile at her and squeeze her hand lightly. "And this is my first time in 2 years speaking in front of people." She smiles wide at me and I smile back pulling her into a light hug. As we pull away the boy beside me stand up.

"My name's Duncan, you should know how it's spelt." I can't help but giggle a little when he said that. "I'm 19, my favorite color is red. I'm here because I have PTSD from my dad killing my sisters, brother and mom, almost killing me. Then I almost killed myself." He looked at me and held out his hand, I looked down, grabbed his hand and looked back up at him. "And this is also my first time speaking in group." I smile at him and he smiles back.

"Well." I look over at Danni to see her smiling. "Krystina, I'm absolutely happy to say welcome." She walks over to us and grabs Frayia and Duncan's free hands and smiles at us. "And I am even happier to say it's nice to know that there is something positive happening to the three of you." I smile, look at Frayia and then over at Duncan.

"And I'm happy you both chose to speak for me."

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