now listening to: would you be so kind - dodie (i recommend listening to the music above while reading, your choice tho. xoxo)

-

"I have a question. It might seem strange How are your lungs? Are they in pain?"

"Ryujin, where are we exactly going?" A curious Yeji is being pulled by the hand by her best friend towards the lockers area. "You told me we were going for a smoothie"

An exasperated Ryujin sighs. but doesn't say anything. After a short walk through the large, deserted corridors of the high school, she cheerfully mutters a small "aha!" when she gets a look at what she was looking for. Then, she drops Yeji's wrist and brings her backpack in front of her, searching for something.

She found the locker; your locker.

534-A, a small lavender butterfly decorating the blueish door.

"What are you exactly going to do?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the blue-haired girl answers. Yeji shakes her head in denial.

"Uhm... no? It looks like you're on "mission impossible" and you're about to steal something from this locker." Ryujin jumps on her spot, startled, as the older murmurs in thought and then gaps in realization.

"Oh my god, you're going to steal something, right? That's why you're being all suspicious!"

"Wha– No!"

"Then... I can't seem to find a reason why are we here when everyone's taking lunch. Also! You've been searching for something desperately in your backpack since we arrived in front of this locker." Yeji cross her arms in front of her chest, giving Ryujin a suspicious look.

"If you wanted me to be your partner-in-crime, you could've ask me! I would've said yes without a doubt."

Ryujin stops shuffling the useless papers that were in her messy bag and stares at her friend with incredulous eyes.

Was she being serious? Wait.

She didn't know this locker was yours, right?

No, of course Yeji doesn't know. She never comes with you when you have to grab your stuff.

She takes a deep breath and looks over her friend's shoulder; there's a big clock hanging on the wall. They still had seven minutes until lunch was over. There's still plenty of time. Ryujin combs her fingers through her blue locks and stares at Yeji again in disbelief.

"Look Yeji, I'm not stealing anything. Nor do I need a partner-in-crime–"

"Ah, you don't? That's my cue to leave then. See ya!" Yeji winks at her and turns on her heels, starting to slowly walk away from her.

Ryujin sighs, why was her friend like this?

"No wait! I mean..." Ryujin cringes at her own scream, the echo resounding in the white walls. The other girl stops dead in her tracks and turns again with a mischievous smile adorning her lips. "Yeah, you can... you can uh, help me with this?"

"Say it."

"No! You're not making me say it."

"Say it or I'm leaving, Shin Ryujin!" Yeji deadpans, even though her eyes are glinting with humor behind them.

Goddammit, why did I bring her with me instead of Lia?

Ryujin sighs once more, causing Yeji to discreetly laugh at her friend's misery.

"Would you- ugh- Would you like to be my, uh, my partner-in-crime, Yeji?"

Yeji lets out a little squeak in excitement, giving little hops on her way to stand next to Ryujin again. She puts her hand up, signaling for her to give her a high five.

"Let's do it then, partner-in-crime!"

"Please do me a favor and don't say that out loud ever again."

-

"'Cause mine are aching. Think I know why I kinda like it though. You wanna try?"

| "I am yours now, no refunds! ♡ –19" |

"[name]! You received another secret note."

Ryujin hears from afar and her head raises immediately, her gaze falling directly on your smiling form.

It's been almost two months since she started sending her little love notes to you (with Yeji's help, even though she has no idea who she's sending them to because Yeji still thinks Ryujin is going to steal something from that locker), and seeing your beautiful smile light up your face makes her heart race ten times faster.

It does something to her feelings. Something inside her grows more and more, maybe the fondness she feels for you, the love she feels for you grows and grows as days pass by, and it doesn't help to know that she is the cause of your bright smile and blushing cheeks.

She did that.

Even though you're oblivious to that fact, of course.

| "you're kinda, sorta, basically pretty much always on my mind. ♡ –19" |

She has been thinking lately of telling you, really, to pour her feelings out for you on the table, but every time you look at her with those lovely, shiny eyes and that kind, dazzling smile, the air gets stuck in her lungs. She finds herself at a loss for words, saying dumb things and then making excuses to run away, wishing that the earth would open a hole and drag her in it so she could never embarrass herself further in front of you.

She couldn't escape you though. You were one of her best friends. Was it good or bad luck? She prefers to call it destiny.

After all, it was all her fault that she fell hopelessly in love with you.

"So.. have you been thinking of who it might be?"

Ryujin hears Lia at her side questioning you about who your "secret admirer" could be.

'Here we go again,' Ryujin thinks, rolling her eyes and casting a sidelong glance at Yeji, her so-called "partner-in-crime," as she scrolls through her Twitter account idly. Yeji wasn't even paying attention to what her friends were talking about in the first place.

She's the only one who knows who the secret admirer is, even though she really doesn't. Does this even make sense? Probably not. Ryujin shakes her head and looks at you, your gaze already on Lia.

"Honestly?" you sigh. "No, I haven't really thought about it? But it's because I'm waiting for them to reveal themselves to me."

Lia scoffs. "[name], sweetie, there's a reason why they're sending you secret notes; of course they're not going to reveal themselves soon..."

"I can wait. My patience is infinite." Lia denies with a shake of her head as you shrug.

"Aren't you a little curious about it?"

"I mean... maybe, but–"

"Then let's start with our research! Maybe with possible names? To, you know, start putting a face to your love notes," Lia scans the wide green area, her eyes stopping on a dark-haired boy. "What do you think about Felix? He's cute!"

Ryujin chokes on her drink when she hears that, the eyes of everyone on the table looking at her worriedly. After coughing and finally recovering her breath, she directs a confused gaze at Lia.

"Why'd you think Felix is the one sending the notes?"

The aforementioned crossed her arms in front of her chest, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Well then, smart-ass, tell me: who do you think her secret admirer is?"

Her throat suddenly feels dry and she is at a loss for words. She should have kept her mouth quiet, because now she's regretting her sudden burst.

"I-I, well.. I don't know? But as [name] said, they will reveal themselves when they feel like it."

You reach for Ryujin's hand across the table and smile widely at her, making her heart beat furiously against her ribcage, "Thanks for backing me up and not being impatient, UNLIKE others."

Lia sighs. "You, my friends, are just two hopeless romanticists. You could've done it Lia's way, but you're boring. And that's on that."

-

"Oh would you be so kind, as to fall in love with me, you see I'm trying, I know you know that I like you, but that's not enough So if you will, please fall in love"

Some days after that exchange, everything clicks into Yeji's mind.

Of course, she was kinda suspicious of Ryujin's antics and how she'd blush every time you'd look at her, or whenever you're talking and her gaze never falters on your face, like she's some fool in love, or when she talks about you like you're the one who puts the stars in the wide night sky.

It's not like you're any better at hiding your emotions towards a certain blue-haired girl, but you were less obvious than she was.

When Ryujin arrived at her first lecture of the day, a very mistrustful-looking Yeji was already waiting for her in their usual seats.

"Good morning, Jin. How did you sleep?" Yeji asks in a sing-song voice, and Ryujin brushes it off, taking her books out and putting them on the shared table.

"Uh.. Good, I guess? What about you?"

"Pretty good, thanks for asking!"

There's some silence between both of them, the background noise filled by the steps of sleepy students starting to arrive at the lecture hall. Yeji can't contain it anymore. She's so excited about her recent realization.

"Oh my god, please tell me when you are telling her!"

The other girl keeps taking her stationary items out without glancing at her friend, not even paying attention to what she's saying.

"Uhhh? Tell what to who, Yeji?"

"When are you telling [name] that you're her secret admirer!"

Ryujin freezes, her eyes wide open and her cheeks redder than an apple.

What the fuck?

"Wha–Who–"

"Don't you remember that I'm your partner-in-crime?"

There are some seconds of silence after that, then, Ryujin adds.

"... You recently just found out, don't you?"

"Maybe.. But that's not the point! Don't try to change the subject!" Yeji takes Ryujin by the shoulders and shakes her gently. "What are you so afraid of? I think she's just as smitten with you as you are with her."

Her mind goes railing after her friend's words, and her heart threatens to leave her chest at any given minute. She couldn't be right. Of course, she wanted to confess. finally take your hand and kiss you, showering you with her unconditional love. But what if you said you didn't feel the same? She isn't afraid of rejection; more like she's afraid of the consequences of her failed confession; maybe you'd stop being her friend. Stop talking to her? Her heart wouldn't be able to handle such a thing. Oh my god, and what if-

"Jin, are you okay? You suddenly got pale–"

"Listen Yeji!" Ryujin interrupts her, the other girl slightly jumping at the sudden burst. "I just- I- You wouldn't understand, okay? Like, my love for her, its just.. ugh- I look at her and I just.. It's like when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes." Ryujin sighs, biting her lip. "She means a lot to me, I just... can't risk it."

"Listen: I'm not going to make you confess, nor am I going to tell her, but you know what they say: nothing ventured, nothing gained."

-

"I think it's only fair,  There's gotta be some butterflies somewhere. Wanna share?"

Shit, shit, shiiiiit–

To say Ryujin was running late for her first lecture of the day was an understatement. She was very, extremely, super late, and the most important thing was that she was running late to leave her love note in your locker.

What were you going to think if you didn't find that pretty purple scented envelope there? Were you going to be sad? God, she can't let that happen. She can't let you down.

Running as fast as she can through the campus while shoving some people in the way and muttering little "sorry's", she looks at the time on her phone:

8:11 a.m

Now running wasn't even worth it. She knows she isn't making it to her lecture, and she knows she isn't making it to your locker either. She stops in her tracks, the feeling of giving up and tiredness consuming her small body.

"I need a break," she mumbles in short breaths.

Stopping in the middle of nowhere on the vast campus wasn't the brightest idea she had, because as she was regaining her composure, the sky began to light up; a thunderclap was imminent.

Oh fuck me, is life being serious right now?

"Ryujin!"

She looks around her in search of that voice calling her. That voice didn't belong just to someone, that voice belonged to you; the owner of her heart.

"Ryujin!" You call again and this time she sees you. You're in a pink sweater with a blinding smile adorning your lips, you're not that far from her, but you aren't that close too.

Ryujin sees you exclaiming something she can't fully understand. You look very cute today, have you always had that bright aura around you like angels did? Wow, you're indeed very beautiful.

"Ryujin!" you scream again, "get out of the way!"

"What?"

"Get out of-"

Too late, her body was being tackled by a boy skateboarding mindlessly. He didn't see your friend (and Ryujin was too busy admiring you to even notice that boy). Her body was being thrown at the freshly cut grass.

There are some minutes when she doesn't hear anything but her skull hammering. Ouch, that hurts.

Some steps to her right, and her head is now in someone's lap, your lap. She can hear the boy saying "sorry" repeatedly, but you shush him away while saying "Be useful and go get the freaking nurse! And next time, be fucking careful and see where you are going, dumbass!"

Ryujin opens her eyes slightly, encountering your face. Is she dead or why is she seeing angels?

Ah, don't think too much right now, it hurts.

"Jin, I need you to follow my finger." You pass a finger in front of her, but she's just staring blankly at you. "Oh my god, are you breathing? Please don't tell me you're dead. Should I call an ambulance?"

Wait, are you worried? Oh, you look cute when you're like this... No, wait, she doesn't need an ambulance!

She takes your wrist and denies it slightly with her head, muttering: "I'm okay, I promise."

-

"'Cause I like you, But that's not enough,

"So... you really thought I was dead, huh."

You were now with her at the nursery, Ryujin, disinfecting her little wounds and dressing them with hello kitty band aids, you laugh.

"I got really scared, dumbass! I thought you listened when I was telling you to watch out."

"You were so far away, I just saw you doing some strange movements with your hands, then I just..." she sighs, " I felt the floor."

After the nurse finishes her work, she nods at both of you and excuses herself to the other side of the room, where a sick girl was lying on the stretcher. You get up from you seat and sit in front of your best friend.

"I–" you scratch the back of your neck in nervousness. "Well... when we were on our way here, you dropped this."

Ryujin just feels her stomach drop. Her eyes shake in fear. You've got the note she was supposed to leave in your locker. She gulps.

"[name] I–"

"I like you too, Ryujin."

Wait, what?

You laugh at the surprised face she's making right now, taking her hand and intertwining her fingers with yours. "Why are you so surprised? I thought you already knew that I liked you.. Also, I was secretly hoping that you were that secret admirer."

"Looks like destiny beat me to confess to you, right?"

You nod, pecking her cheek "Yeah, I like you, and I know this probably wasn't the way you wanted to reveal yourself.. But please, please, I beg you, be careful next time. I don't want my girlfriend to get hurt just because she's too busy staring at me."

Her cheeks reddened at that; "girlfriend", you called her "your girlfriend", she loved the sound of that.

She laughs, pulling your face closer and pecking your lips this time. "I'll try. No promises though. You're always making me fall for you. "

"Oh my god, you're so corny, Ryujin."

So if you will. Please fall in love with me."