+

It had been three days since Crimson woke up with a splitting headache and weaker body but now, as she walked around Jisoo's place, boredom has been her greatest friend when she found herself growing stronger as time passed.

There was nothing else to do. And the boys were either resting, training or too busy planning their next move. Despite how Crimson insisted that she would take full responsibility of this very last mission, they all refused to let her exhaust herself even more and simply begged for her to only be a 'part' of the operation.

Namjoon was busy sending invites and emails as he communicates with the Rangers and Crimson also heard that Yoongi was helping him by erasing all the digital footprints that he must have left to make it less able for Seong-jun to track their current location.

Hoseok was busy training hand-to-hand combat with Jimin and Jungkook most of the time while Seokjin's schedule was merely filled with Jisoo's own appointments as he became more fond of keeping her company. Taehyung, well...Crimson only saw him during the times that they would eat altogether and often not ever since he was either upstairs or outside doing God knows what.

Seokjin called it his own 'recollection'. He told Crimson about how Taehyung got into a verbal fight with Yoongi when she got into an accident at her own house and it must have induced deep, unopened thoughts within the younger one's mind. The girl recognized the fact though, that she still needs to talk to him.

But first, Yoongi.

She was ambling along one of the hallways with a destination in mind. It was simply but a guess but her instinct convinced her that Yoongi would be in that place. Thankfully, Jisoo only had one music room in her humongous house.

The door was left ajar and the girl could not help but tilt her head at the familiarity of this situation. Cheeks dusted pink when she recalled the memory before she pushed the door open, seeing the man of the hour sitting in front of his first love: the piano.

The way that his fingers glided across the glimmering ivories of the piano keys somehow increased his charm and made him look all the more endearing as he played a random tune with his eyes closed. Crimson had no idea what the piano piece was but it was beautiful nevertheless.

It soothed her heartbeat and at the same time made her more anxious as she gazed at his back with longing, eyes turning soft at the thought of talking to him. She did not know how Yoongi would react.

So instead of calling him out, she stepped closer to the piano, her presence still unknown when she had the idea to make her steps quieter to not startle the man who was clearly trapped in his own world. With a step after another, Crimson found herself already standing right behind Yoongi.

She slipped next to him, sitting down in the small chair while also giving him enough space to keep playing. His hunched back tensed up a little, she noticed, when he finally took note of her appearance in her simple casual wear, hair tied up in a bun that revealed her toned neck.

There was a gentle smile on her face when Yoongi turned around after accidentally hitting the wrong key, making a sound identical to the grinding of chalk against a board to his ears. Yet nothing could have made his day even better than to see her smile.

"Hey," she greeted, regret bubbling inside her the longer she glanced at his dark orbs, "I wanted to talk to you." 

He completely halted everything that he was doing, devoting all of his attention to the woman he loves so dearly. Crimson felt an ache climb up her throat, "I'm sorry, Yoongi. I'm really sorry for being such a liar. Please forgive me," her eyes glowed as she uttered the sincerest apology to him.

Yoongi smiled fondly, the kind of smile that showed only a peek of his teeth, "It's okay, Crimson. I've forgiven you a long time ago."

He raised his hand, closed the piano before folding them in front of him, "You shouldn't have. At least not yet. Yoongi, I left you for five years--"

"But you left me because you wanted to protect me," he cut her off.

"But I fooled you again. I hid a mission from you. A very important mission just because I was suspicious of Jihee. I'm sorry for misusing your trust. If it weren't for what I did, you probably would not have been betrayed by her nor would you even feel whatever you are feeling right now. Yoongi, I am genuinely sorry."

Then there was silence, he simply looked at her, wanting to memorize all of her features, "I know," he whispered, eyes casting down from her eyes, to her defined nose and onto her dried lips.

Without her own awareness, Crimson ran her tongue over her lips, making it even more inviting for the man to place his own on top of. On the other hand, she was wondering how despite going through several harsh circumstances, Yoongi still managed to forgive her, pour out his heart to her.

No matter how good the offer, she wanted to refuse it so Crimson looked away, "Yoongi..."

Please be mean to me. I want you to be mean to me.

"You can't be this nice," she chuckled awkwardly, eyes looking elsewhere but on him, "You should be mad at me."

The girl stood up, walking quickly away from him as her hands curled up into fists. She had no idea why she was acting this way, "Crimson, do you want to know why it was too easy for me to leave Jihee?"

No, it was too much. It can't be.

"Yoongi, I--"

"Because I still love you," he had no way of stopping himself, his mouth ran faster than his own mind and clearly, his heart mainly took over of his whole being, "It was easier for me coming back to you than staying beside her. Whether she was a bad person or not, I would have still chosen you."

Crimson furrowed her brows, inhaling and exhaling loudly as her mind attempted to comprehend his words. It felt different hearing them now. There was no spark, no butterflies, no fireworks that would have exploded by now. Her heart would have fluttered from his words but strangely, she felt nothing.

"Yoongi, you're supposed to be mad at me," she reminded him as if it was a mandatory emotion, "I expected you to be mad at me."

"But you see, I can't be mad at you," his smile was still the same as years ago yet it looked different to her now. Yoongi shook his head at himself, "It's still you, Crimson."

Her eyes were wide and she felt her breathing stop for a moment when she blurted out four words that drew a fine line between the two of them.

"I'm sorry. I can't," it was nearly inaudible but with the silence offered inside the room, the words resonated quite clearly inside the man's head. They repeated themselves like a mocking mantra, shattering his world apart. 

He wanted to know what she meant. Maybe it would be so different from what he expected it to be, "You can't what?" he gulped, looking at her intently as he tried not to show his emotions too much.

Crimson looked through the window where her keen eyes caught sight of a gentleman's form displayed around the gardens outside, his physique illuminated by the moonlight. With a decided mind, she looked at Yoongi, the guilt inside her increasing, "I can't love you back," she whispered out.

Yoongi looked behind him, following her train of vision. Ah, of course. He knew that it would somehow end up this way. He was desperately clinging onto the hope that maybe...just maybe..Crimson would still reciprocate his feelings. Crimson would still be the same person he fell in love with. Well, she was but she ended up outgrowing that love and in return, gave her the greater reason to give it to someone else.

His face fell, eyes suddenly turning downcast as her words begin to make more sense now, "It's him, isn't it?"

Yoongi regretted everything. He regretted not being the most honest person to Crimson. Regretted not pursuing her and simply succumbing to the dark thought that she was already dead. Regretted looking for someone else while she still admittedly lived in his heart. Regretted giving up. And no matter how much he comforted himself at that moment, he somehow regretted not stopping his heart from beating for her.

The woman occupying his mind and heart only sighed several times as her lips turned into a pout, eyebrows knitted together in concern and guilt. Simply, Yoongi sat back down in silence and after a few seconds, he turned to Crimson and patted the spot right next to him.

The pair found themselves being at the exact same spots as minuted ago before everything went into utter chaos. He wanted to be selfish. Right now, there was a perfect opportunity for him to kiss her or even just to embrace her.

He had to act natural. He had to show that he was going to be alright, "Then would you care to lend me just a little bit of your time then?" Yoongi didn't want her to leave his side. Not now. Not ever, "Just keep me company..?" he half-stated, half-asked only to receive a small nod from her.

Crimson felt like she was the most horrible person in the world as of now. She never meant to hurt Yoongi like this nor did she intend to let him feel the emotions consuming his heart right now. If there was any other way to make him happy without jeopardizing her own happiness, Crimson would have taken that route. Sadly, there was just no other way.

Yoongi cleared his throat in attempts to shatter the awkward tension. The crickets' chirping served as their only background music which made the scene even more painfully awkward in his mind. But maybe he was the only one who felt like it. He wanted to pat his own shoulders for leaving the window open, allowing them to both bask into the littlest noises of nature from outside, "Think of it as my last wish. Just get comfortable. I should be alright," he tried to reassure her.

No. He was not. But yet the last thing he wanted to do was to make her feel bad for leaving him. In Yoongi's mind, Crimson should never feel bad about choosing her own happiness. This time, he really had to play the role of the hero.

After minutes of attempting to find a better topic and making the atmosphere grow lighter, the two of them finally found the right amount of goofiness and honesty at such an unideal situation.

"So..." she turned to look at him when Yoongi spoke. When he caught her eyes, his breath nearly hitched. The woman really was beautiful, "You said you only kept her close because you were suspicious?"

He wanted to change the subject and Jihee seemed to be the most ideal topic of conversation for now.

Crimson sighed, raising her hand to trace the dust forming around the piano cover. A small sad smile was painted on her lips when she could form a heart with them, "Jihee? I simply wanted to keep an eye on her," there was an acceptable distance between the two of them. Still, Crimson could not believe nor take advantage of Yoongi's kindness and how he showcases himself to be easily taking in all of what just happened.

"But on the letter..." Yoongi trailed off, wanting her to explain her purpose.

She placed her hand back down and rested it beside her. The lady licked her lips once, biting it afterwards. Her eyes cast down on the carpet which brushed against her feet that were swaying at her command, lulling her to relaxation with its soft texture.

"Yes. It was half true. I was suspicious of her but whether Jihee was with us or against us, she was still your girlfriend. She was the one who made Casper's heart to go all soft," her eyes crinkled to narrow up when she smiled genuinely.

There's the Crimson that he knows. Although he could still tell that there was still a slight tension between them, Yoongi overlooked it to appreciate her attempts of looking comfortable. He knew very well that it would take time before they would both be.

Yoongi felt his heart swell both at the nickname and her exquisite face. He should've been mad at her for calling him Casper but it was Crimson. No one can really afford to be mad at her, "Not the first one to do so, though," he mumbled to himself but Crimson failed to hear it.

"What?"

He snapped away from his thoughts at the question before he let out a flustered answer, "Nothing. Thanks a lot Crimson."

He expected her to laugh at him or at least reply to his gratitude but when he turned his head to her direction, Crimson was frowning.

"You don't have any nickname for me? That's kind of sad," she was about to hoist herself up from her seated position when Yoongi only rolled his eyes at her.

"Make up one for yourself," he blurted out, abruptly affecting her movements to a halt, "You're an independent woman after all. You can deal with your own crap."

Yoongi looked at her only to chuckle at her expression. Crimson was slack-jawed but somehow relieved that he was finally more comfortable around her, "That was one time, Yoongi!" she shouted.

"Two, actually. You said it when I was telling you how to properly dress up remember?"

A smile crept up her face, "And that was why you made me do a tour by myself, you prick."

He wiped his nose when the cold air was starting to have its effect on him.

"But you still don't have a nickname for me so..." she shrugged in an arrogant way, deciding to not finish her sentence as Yoongi got the hint that she was ready to leave already. They had been talking for a long time now.

He managed to let out another laugh. He had never been this happy and sad at the same time. Maybe this is what real love is like. Maybe he finally accepted his present and managed to let go of his past. Yoongi thought, that maybe it was time to forget about everything that happened before he got to this situation. That maybe it was about damn time he acknowledged that everything happens for a reason.

While those thoughts ran inside his head, his gaze remained on the retreating woman who brushed her bottoms and the back of her leg off of any dirt from the completely clean chair. Must be a habit.

"But seriously...thank you," he had a serious look and he could sense that she was about to laugh, thinking that he might be joking again until he continued, "I mean it."

With those last words, Crimson's smile died down when she understood the meaning behind them. She didn't know whether to feel happy for him or be sad about the fact that it felt like the man before her was saying goodbye.

"And I also mean it when I say that I'm sorry," her smile came back after a few seconds but this time, it was much milder as if it offered more warmth and had a calm atmosphere to it.

Clicking her tongue, Crimson sat back down, "That's why I asked for you to trust me."

He felt sorry at the mention of 'trust' once more. It seemed to be a recurring topic between the two of them.

His gums were displayed for the world to see when he smiled at her, "And I never will lose that again."

Crimson hummed, satisfied by his answer, "We never really broke up officially," her eyes remained on the sky through the window, her orbs twinkling brighter than them.

The stars envy you, there goes his poetic self. Sometimes, it would make him wonder if he was a lyricist in another life.

"So I was cheating on you when I had Jihee as my girlfriend...?" he gulped as he suggested it, realization suddenly hitting him.

His guilty expression became a laughing stock for the woman next to him. She wiped a tear that nearly slipped her eye from laughing too much.

Crimson leaned comfortably against the piano, her hand resting over her stomach, legs sprawled out.

"But really though, I'm sorry that we did not end on good terms," Yoongi found himself mirroring her frown as she spoke.

"Did we really?" an unreadable smirk was on his face before he stood up, stretching his limbs to rid himself off of the sleepiness and relaxation.

"Crimson," he suddenly spoke. There it was again. Her name that sounded so good as it came out of his mouth, "No, Sooyeon," the said woman was taken aback at the mention of her real name.

Yoongi took his hands out of his pockets, "Let's break up."

I should be alright, Yoongi repeated to himself.

Silence followed, making Yoongi think that the girl might not have liked the idea. Until her lips widened into a smile.

"Alright, mister," she stood up, feeling as if a weight got off of her shoulders, "Let's break up."

Extending out her hand, Yoongi looked at it hesitantly, a part of him wanting to get it over with and a bigger part of him wanted to just slap it away and press his lips against hers.

But he knew the more logical choice. Yoongi had to let go of her. There is someone else who deserves her much more than him. Someone who waited for her for five years, not losing the trust he had in her. Someone who was named Kim Taehyung.

He shook it firmly, immediately letting go of her hand as he did not want to be pulled into the warmth and softness of it.

"Now, go get him," whispered Yoongi. Crimson's eyes widened as they turn glossy. Yoongi plastered on a tight smile on his lips.

"Go," was all he said before Crimson turned around, her retreating form becoming a lasting image in his head.

But then she stopped and turned around. For that moment, he had a drop of hope in his heart, "Thank you, Yoongi," Crimson walked towards him, giving him one last hug glad that she was able to meet such an understanding human being as him.

Yoongi did not hesitate to return the embrace, large hands caressing her back and enjoying for a few seconds how he was basked into the warmth of her body. He was going to miss this.

And maybe it was how she said his real name or the sincere smile she had on but right at that moment, Yoongi felt a small burning sensation in his throat.

And he just stood there, knowing that he might just be making the biggest mistake by letting her walk away from him and his life while he stayed still. Doing nothing except for silencing the regrets flooding his mind.

+

"Had a nice night?" there was Taehyung, standing by the garden with his arms crossed in front of him. Crimson found his posture weird, as if he was waiting for her to arrive a few minutes ago.

With furrowed brows, she hesitantly answered, "Y-Yeah, sure. I guess."

A silence that she was uncomfortable with passed. Even so, Crimson noticed the stern look on Taehyung's face like an impatient mother waiting for her child by the front door that arrived past curfew. The less scary thing about Taehyung is that he did not carry a slipper, a hanger or any household item that can be considered as a plausible weapon for a strict mom to use.

It was like he was waiting for her to say something as his foot tapped the pebbled road out of his thinning patience. Like he was waiting for her to blurt out a sin that she committed.

"Fun night with Yoongi hyung?"

She tried her earnest to not roll her eyes although her lips could not trap the sigh that escaped carelessly before she muttered a, "What are you implying?"

Taehyung raised a brow, he seemed to have heard what she said, "I was just harmlessly asking. After all, there's nothing wrong with having fun with the person you like, right?"

Crimson swore that she felt her jaw drop to the ground at Taehyung's accusation. Her face read the emotions of feeling betrayed and disappointment from what he said, "Taehyung, you do know that I have moved on from Yoongi, right? We just had closure--besides, why do I even have to tell you this? It's not like you're my boyfriend or anything."

That struck a chord within him. Taehyung felt an emotional pang in his chest but he kept his manly stance, trying his best to not show any ounce of jealousy that was currently coursing through his veins.

"Ah. Of course. I have no right to say anything or question your actions."

Taehyung saw the exchange between Yoongi and Crimson a while ago. After all, the garden gave an exquisite view to the music room especially with the curtains inside the room not being drawn. He saw how they talked for almost an hour then the sight that surprised him the most was when he suddenly saw them both hugging each other.

So no one could really blame him when he felt bitter to see Crimson's face, feeling as if she was betraying Yoongi as he conversed with Taehyung.

Crimson was getting more frustrated the more she talked to him, "Taehyung, what are you on about?"

"I'm just saying...that after everything that Yoongi hyung has done for you which is literally nothing, you're still in love with him. Open your eyes, Crimson!" he stepped closer to her, his voice raising at the very last sentence, "You're all lovey-dovey with this man that never cared for you!"

"Don't talk about Yoongi like that! Just because you were too obsessed about finding me, you don't have the right to expect him to do the same."

"I just don't want you to get hurt, okay?" his voice turned down a volume, almost a whisper, "Love can be painful sometimes."

That's it. Crimson was supposed to talk to him properly, finally admit her feelings towards him. Instead, they were having another useless fight, "And what do you know about love, Kim Taehyung? Tell me, have you ever been in love with someone? Have you ever felt what I once fel--"

Taehyung snapped.

"YES! I was one of those stupid bastards who fell for someone who won't love them back. Ever since I saw you hit that target when I first trained you, when I first bumped into you and you called me Mr. Gucci and up until now, I have been in love with you and I never stopped loving you. So don't you ever dare think that I know nothing about love. Because it's something that I have been suffering through for a longer time," with a loud scoff, Taehyung went past Crimson, her shoulder brushing against his arm as he headed back towards the house.

Crimson thought of stopping and saying something but she figured that Taehyung might need some time alone and besides, she wouldn't know what to say. She's not an expert when it comes to comforting others.

+

Twenty four fucking hours. It had been a whole day when she last fought with Taehyung and between that whole day, the only people that managed to carry a proper conversation with was Jisoo and Seokjin. The others were simply too occupied by other matters. Yoongi was purposely avoiding her, only giving her nods and small smiles.

Taehyung did not care as to spare even a small glance nor did he ever spend a full minute with her. Crimson was beginning to feel guiltier, realizing that she was the cause of their arguments. Her own words fuelled his fire and affected him in a bad way.

So she decided that she was going to talk to him tonight. Properly.

During that midnight, Crimson was practicing all her lines inside her head. Paying heed to all of the other possible scenarios that might branch out all while she also recalled her small moments with the guy. Taehyung's door was just right in front of her room's door. So what made it so damn hard for her to knock on it and blurt out an apology?

Crimson wanted to sleep but her thoughts about him forbade her to do so. There was no way in hell that she would be the first to apologize. Taehyung shouted at her and accused her wrongly of still being in love with Yoongi. Just by thinking about it, she forgot all of the reasons why she was at fault.

It was way past midnight but she still could not get a wink of sleep. But despite that, Crimson stood up. Just to get water, was what she chanted inside her head. Just to get water.

She was a very prideful woman who held herself against the standards that she set for her own well-being, "He's obviously the one who's in the wrong. Why the heck would I say sorry?"

Crimson thought that it would be stupid to do that. The night was short and she had no time to think about matters such as these when an important mission is to be done a few days from now.

So when she opened the door, it was to her surprise to see Taehyung standing by his own opened door. It was too late for her to look away when they found themselves locking gazes. She saw his Adam's apple bob up and down as he gulped at the sight of her in her sleepwear.

Crimson felt insecurity creep through her skin from his stare so she wrapped her arms around her torso thinking that it would be a protection of some sort for her but it only made her nightgown ride up past her knees and Taehyung's gaze panned down to it before she cleared her dry throat.

"Um..." she couldn't find herself to swallow her pride. When she thinks deeply about it, the realization that they both had their own faults washed over her. That's why she's doing this.

Shit, it's now or never Crim.

"I'm sorry," Taehyung was the first to say it, his words shocked her.

An eyebrow was raised as a response to that before she licked her lips to compose herself, "It's okay. I wanted to apologize too. What I said about...you know, I didn't mean it."

Taehyung mirrored her stance and wrapped his arms around himself when the cool air from the house's AC hit him, "I know," he said with a small smile, "I didn't mean what I said either. Forgive me for being too rash."

Awkward silence followed, as if they were both waiting for each other to say something. The silence was shattered by Crimson's sigh that she obviously added to hide the lack of comfort she felt under his scrutinizing gaze.

"So...we're good?"

Taehyung's smile widened at that, "Of course," but he could not help his curious self, "Were you going somewhere or...?" he lets the question linger in the air.

Crimson's face became as red as her name almost immediately when she thought of an excuse, "You know...I was going to get something but I uh..I-I forgot about it so I'll just go back inside my room to...remember it...?"

That was lame.

He almost wanted to chuckle after seeing her reaction, "You don't sound too sure."

"I am sure! Very sure," before the man could tease her any further, she slammed her door shut in hopes to hide her embarrassed self.

Crimson leaned her body against the door, sliding down in defeat as she cursed herself internally for acting like that around the man. She softly knocked on her head with her knuckles while the image of Taehyung in his pajamas haunted her mind.

She didn't know which part of her mind was telling her to open the door again and talk to him more. It seemed to her that their conversation earlier was too awkward and too short as if she forced the apology out of her mouth.

Crimson thought that she could do better than it and challenged herself to elaborate more on her words. She wanted to say sorry for disappearing for five years, for not showing her appreciation towards Taehyung's dedication on finding her, for ignoring him just because she did not want to face the difficult obstacle that was sympathizing and for being a bitch around him. For everything.

So she stood up, legs wobbly as she hoisted herself up while clutching onto the door knob. Her clammy hands wrapped around the metal tightly before she twisted the door knob slowly due to the second thoughts in her mind. But she dared not to listen to them.

Her arm swung the door open and before she could properly react, Taehyung was standing right in front of her with his hand wrapped into a fist, ready to knock on her door. The two of them failed to notice that extremely short distance between them.

Crimson looked up, felt his warm breath that smells like mint fanning her face.

Taehyung could not help but be astonished by the effect that she had on him. He was shamelessly eyeing her, taking in the image of the woman before him. From the fluttering of her eyelashes, the smile lines that forms across her face whenever she flashes her pearly white teeth at him. The way her neck cranes as she looked up at him, giving him a view of the little mole a few inches above her collarbone. The way that her hair was at the right length, flowing past her shoulders in such an attractive way that Taehyung would wonder how she was even real.

Never again will he have hesitations. Never again will he let anyone take Crimson away from him.

He was madly in love with the woman and never again will there be another obstacle that he will be too afraid to tackle.

And maybe it was the way that the moon shone through the nearby window and on his face or the way that his tongue darted out to slowly lick his bottom lip. Or maybe it was that the mole near the tip of his nose looked much more appealing at a closer view. She didn't know what it might be but Crimson could only think of one thing during that chilly night in Japan.

His face inched closer to hers, his free hand grasping the side of her face. Dang, she could honestly use his whole hand as a mask. Aside from the wind, Taehyung's breath caressed her lips as his pink ones went closer to hers.

"Lee Sooyeon, how are you so lovable?" was all Taehyung said before he finally closed the gap between them.

Her lips eagerly moved against him, the contact making them feel much more closer with each other. Crimson could hear her own heartbeat as they kissed like the only thing that mattered to them right then were each other. His other hand trailed through the small of her back after letting go of her hand that now found its place at the back of his neck.

Taehyung giggled in their kiss when her fingers brushed against the shaved part of his hair, tickling him. He tightened his grip on her, making her let out a small gasp at his sudden movements.

Their lips moved with each other, creating a rhythm that they both grew comfortable in. Taehyung had always wanted to run his fingers along her hair and finally he could. His long fingers brushed past her locks, giving Crimson a soothing feeling.

He tilted his head, deepening the kiss even more. Taehyung pushed her body gently inside her room, the two figures shuffling towards the soft bed that was once used by merely one person now occupied by two.

"I love you," he whispered, lips brushing against hers before the couple proceeded to a night that they surely won't forget.

+

unedited

I AM SCREAMING. Fina-fucking-lly, Crimson has chosen her man!! I am honestly so proud of him for keeping his patience and trust on her :')

Also, cheers to Yoongi for being such a man! The best way you can do for a person you love is to let them go and clearly, he stood up for this belief. I was honestly sad to write the scene between her and Crim but there was no other way :(((

In short, let us get ourselves a Min or a Kim in the future because they are THE men.

I PURPLE YOU <3