September 1, 2037
St. Petersburg, Russia

"Andrei, sweetheart!" The woman exclaimed in delight as her son walked out from his classroom.

"How has your first day of first grade been, Andrusha?" Yurio asked kindly.

The six-year-old boy looked down at his feet gloomily and answered with honesty, "No one in my new class believes me anymore. Not even my friends from kindergarten, who used to think that it was cool I can see those sort of creatures. They've all started to think I'm odd."

Audrey and Yurio exchanged apprehensive looks upon hearing this. Great, now even my parents might as well think I've gone mad too. Andrei thought to himself.

"Andrei," His mother spoke with a tone of uncertainty, "Maybe you shouldn't be telling that to other kids. About seeing ghosts, monsters, or the such. They can't see it like you can, so that will just creep them out."

"Am I odd, Mama?"

"What? Of course not."

"Remember Bella?" said Yurio, bending down to his son's height. "She can see ghosts too. And I know a few more other kids who have the same ability."

"Well, yeah, but..." Andrei hesitated; he figured it wouldn't be such a good idea to remind his parents about the scary creatures which haunted him in the dark, and the way those ghosts seem to turn from friends to enemies in his sleep.

He didn't want his parents to send him to a psychologist, who might just imply that he's gone insane. He didn't want them to worry them, or much more embarrass them for having a mentally disordered son. If Andrei was gonna know the solution to his problems, he would find out for himself.

"But?" Audrey stared at him, as she and Yurio waited for Andrei to finish his sentence.

"But the other kids in my class still won't believe that ghosts are real," said Andrei, knowing that saying 'It's nothing' would make his parents suspicious, after they've already seen his anxious expression.

"Let them be," Yurio patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. "They don't believe what they can't see. Now, shall we go see your brother and sister?"

He nodded. Once his father rose to his full height again, Andrei took both his parents' hands as they walked out.

+++

"ANDRUSHA!" shrieked a girl's voice. Thirteen-year-old Natalya bolted towards them through the school gates, a fifteen-year-old Alek on her heel, looking as ill-tempered as ever.

"Why are you angry?" Andrei asked as he looked up at his brother's angered face curiously.

"It's nothing," Alek sneered. "It's just that the teacher's a fucking cow."

Audrey sighed. "You threw a tantrum and got sent to the office for it, didn't you?"

"It's not my damn fault!" He yelled. "The teacher is a big fat bitch, it's only our first day at school and she's already given us homework! Bullshit! I had to protest!"

Natalya snorted. "Well no shit, your teacher sounds like a damn cunt. You had every fucking right to shout at that stupid ass."

"Oh, Jesus." Audrey heaved another sigh, running her fingers along her hair while Yurio bursted into laughter.

"Some good shit you did back there, my boy." he grinned, sharing a high-five with Alek. "Fucking savage."

Alek's mood had turned from frustrated to delightful in an instant. He grinned back at his father. "Thanks, Papa."

"You deserve a reward for that."

Audrey protested, "Yurio!"

"Since we've already had pirozhki yesterday, what about ice-cream?" suggested Yurio, ignoring his wife.

"Oh, fuck yeah. Sounds awesome." said Alek, exchanging another high-five with his dad.

Andrei didn't even consider questioning his dad's and siblings' decisions as well as their way of thinking. The sort of behavior is considered to be normal in their family, anyway.

Natalya bent down to give her little brother a tight hug. "I love you sooo fucking much."

Andrei felt his lips form a small smile. "Do you have to remind me everyday?"

"Hey hey Andrusha," Alek ruffled Andrei's blonde hair. "How did your first day go? Shitty, am I right?"

"Yeah. 'Shitty' would be an appropriate word to describe it."

"Get in the car now," said their mother, ushering them inside.

+++

"It's bed time," Audrey called. Andrei was propped on the sofa between Alek and Natalya, both of whom were playing Grand Theft Auto where they were virtually murdering people and stealing cars. "It's getting late and you three still have classes tomorrow."

Alek groaned. "We know, Mom. You don't have to remind us."

Andrei silently agreed with him. He disliked the idea of returning to his world of nightmares, nor the thought of going back to school the next morning, where he seemed like an outcast despite his family's high status.

"Well, whatever. I'm getting sleepy," Natalya yawned. "I think we've killed enough people for today, Alek."

"Yeah, alright." Alek tossed his controller aside as so did his sister. Once their mother left, he said, "I'm still not sleepy. So I'm gonna continue working on some songs. Andrusha, you wanna come?"

Everyone in the family knew how much Andrei didn't like sleeping alone. He had a habit of going to his parents', brother's, or sister's room every night, hoping their accompaniment would help rid of the monsters - and sometimes, it effectively does. Other times, they still persist in haunting him.

"No, Andrei's with me," Natalya grabbed Andrei's hand possessively. "He was with Mama and Papa last night, and he was with you two nights ago. It's my turn now."

Alek rolled his eyes. "Alright, whatever. Good night, you two."

+++

The lamp on Natalya's bedside table was still on, as she stared down at the silver medal in frustration. "Fuck this."

"Natasha, I thought you were sleepy." said Andrei.

Natalya heaved a sigh. "Andrusha, I'm still really disappointed in myself. I lost to that damned Grandma Yuki last competition."

"At least you still managed to earn a place on the podium."

"Yeah, well, it still isn't enough! I hate how I always lose to the Nikiforovas. It's not fair how they always win."

"What do you mean you always lose to them?" Andrei raised his eyebrows. "Look at this collection of gold medals - all of which is yours. And look at how Yui got bronze the last competition."

"Still, Yuki and I should switch ranks, don't you think?" Natalya sneered arrogantly. "I mean, the silver medal matches her hair. And we all know I look best in a gold medal."

"Of course you do. And just because you don't have all the gold medals in every figure skating competition, that doesn't mean you're not the best. You're more passionate and determined about the sport more than anyone else I know, that's what makes you shine above others. And, may I remind you, you have the 'Ice Princess' title for a reason."

Natalya couldn't help but allow her lips to form a smile upon hearing his words. "Andrusha... I really love you, you know that?"

"There's not one second I doubt it." Andrei smiled back, as his older sister pulled him into an embrace. Behind her, Andrei saw his ghost friends - a young red-haired boy with hazel eyes and a girl with glossy grey eyes and platinum blonde hair - smiling and waving at him.

Natalya switched the lamp's off, perishing the light before tucking herself and her brother in the blankets, wrapping her arms around him once again as they closed their eyes.

For a moment, there was peace. Andrei was running along a sunflower meadow as the sun began to set. By his side was his sister, looking as beautiful as ever in the illumination of the sunset, her blonde hair flowing in the wind as they ran.

But then he noticed - her blue eyes glinted with fear, and she was biting on her bottom lip too hard to the point that it began to bleed. Soon enough, the sun had disappeared completely, but there was not a single star or moon to occupy the now-empty sky, or to give light to his surroundings. He could no longer glimpse the sunflowers; only feel them.

He shifted his right hand and found that he was no longer holding his sister's hand, either.

"SESTRA!" he shouted into the void. "NATASHA!"

A scream was heard in the distance, which Andrei was sure belonged to Natalya. It was as if she had just been teleported a hundred meters away.

His ghost friends - the redheaded boy and the platinum-haired girl - were visible to his eyes as they approached him. However, they were no longer friendly-looking. They now had empty eye sockets and though they lacked teeth, they were able to utter the words: "DERANGED BOY,".

More ghosts appeared, including those of his dead relatives', even his classmates who were certainly still alive; in unison they repeated the same words over and over.

"DERANGED BOY, DERANGED BOY, DERANGED BOY,"

Andrei dropped to his knees and pressed his palms against his ears, but this merely muffled the sounds, not block them out completely.

His eyes fell open and he was no longer in the void of ghosts, but rather back in Natalya's room. He wasn't locked in his sister's embrace anymore, now that she was facing the other way.

He wanted to speak, to move closer to her, but he couldn't bring himself to move even a single inch. He wasn't even trembling. He lay there, paralyzed, as the voices in his head continue to ring in his ears.

I wonder if these nightmares end when I'm finally dead.

The ghosts of the fourteen-year-old boy and girl glanced down at Andrei solicitously.

After what felt like a long moment, he finally found his voice, though it was so soft it might as well be inaudible. "Do you suffer in the afterlife?" he asked.

"We're too good to be in hell," replied the red-haired boy. "But we do suffer sometimes. When we see our loved ones hurt."

Andrei sighed. He should have been used to the nightmares by now, but everyday and every night he'd still wish for them to stop. Even if it meant death. Still, he knew what big of an impact it would make on his family, and he hated the part of himself which craved for death.

+++

February 22, 2038
Moscow, Russia

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW RECKLESS YOU ARE!" Audrey scolded Alek, who was now lying on a hospital bed with bandages all over his arms and ankle. "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE WENT BIKING AROUND ON THAT FUCKING ROAD! JUST WHAT'S GOING ON IN THAT MIND OF YOURS?!"

"IT'S THAT CAR DRIVER'S DAMN FAULT!" Alek shouted back at his mother. "JUST BE THANKFUL I'M ALIVE, DAMMIT!"

"YOUR MOTHER IS RIGHT!" Yurio thundered. "NEXT TIME YOU COMMIT THE SAME MISTAKE, YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BE GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE IN LIFE!"

"OH, SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU WANT ME DEAD, THEN?!"

"IS THAT WHAT I FUCKING SAID?!"

"IT SEEMS AS IF IT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO BELIEVE!"

Beginning to get exasperated by the quarrel going on between his older brother and parents, Andrei left to wander around and look at other patients. It was when he saw a boy his age - with a bald head and a nasogastric tube inserted through his nostrils - that he stopped. As he walked closer, he realized that the boy was a close friend of his back in the first year of kindergarten while he was still studying in St. Petersburg.

"Daniil?"

The little boy slowly turned his bald head towards Andrei, his lips forming a smile. "Andrusha. Hello. What are you doing here?"

"My older brother's injured," replied Andrei. And although he already knew the answer, he asked anyway, "What happened to you?"

"Cancer," answered Daniil.

"Oh..." Andrei looked down.

"I'm gonna die soon, Andrusha," said Daniil, still smiling despite his condition. "I'll miss my family and friends, but hey, at least I'll finally get to meet my uncle Mikhail."

"Mikhail?" Andrei raised his brows upon hearing the name. "I have a ghost friend named Mikhail. I call him 'Misha', though."

"Really? What does he look like?" asked Daniil out of genuine curiosity.

"Messy red hair, hazel eyes... I think he's about fourteen."

"My uncle Mikhail died at fourteen. Brain tumor."

That's when Andrei realized. "Oh, your uncle is the friend I mentioned, then."

"That's awesome!" Daniil exclaimed, without showing any sign of disbelief. "Tell him to prepare a nice welcome greeting for me when I pass away, okay?"

"I don't have to," Andrei chuckled softly. "He's right there. Next to you."

Sitting on the empty seat across the bed from Andrei was the ghost of Daniil's fourteen-year-old uncle, Mikhail, grinning.

"Oh, hello, uncle Misha!" Daniil waved at the direction Andrei was pointing to. "Mama misses you a lot, you know. Baba and Ded, too."

"I miss them too," said Mikhail. "Tell that to them before you come meet me, okay?"

"Your uncle says to tell your mom and grandparents that he misses them too, before you go meet him." Andrei told Daniil.

"Oh, of course I will!" Daniil nodded enthusiastically.

"Andrusha! There you are!" Natalya stepped in and gently grabbed her younger brother's arm. "Mama and Papa are looking for you. They say it's time for lunch."

"Alright then." Andrei then turned back to look at Daniil. "Dasvidaniya, Danya."

"Dasvidaniya, Andrusha!" Daniil waved goodbye as Andrei left with Natalya.

+++

January 23, 2040
Beverly Hills, CA, U.S.A.

Andrei wandered around the family's modern villa and past the glass walls. Natalya was at the skating rink for practice, with their dad coaching her. Alek was at the recording studio, while their mom at a photoshoot, so it was just Andrei, the servants, and possibly Jonathan if he hasn't gone out of the house.

He found Jonathan sitting on the windowsill, looking out at the view of the Hollywood sign. Andrei felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of him; although it's been a year since they've lived together, he was still afraid of his eldest brother, who was an actual murderer.

Sensing Andrei's presence, Jonathan turned to glance at him. That was when the younger boy noticed Jonathan's eyes were puffy, which made it evident that he had been shedding tears.

"Andrei," said Jonathan. "Hello."

"Why were you crying?"

"Pointless stuff. Do you really wanna know?"

"Yes," Andrei propped himself up on the windowsill and faced his brother. "You've only been with us for a year, but I already know you well enough to be sure your reasons for weeping aren't pointless. You barely even cry."

"Yeah, well, I suppose you're right. You're always right, anyway."

"Always," Andrei nodded. "But not all the time. Now, it won't hurt to open up to me."

"I've never really opened up to anyone," said Jonathan, looking slightly surprised. "At least, not to a family member. I thought you were afraid of me?"

"I am. Though perhaps I'll fear you less when you confide in me your humane sentiments."

"Jeez, you really sound like an adult, you know that? Okay, wait - of course you know that." Jonathan snorted. "Anyway, like you said, it won't hurt to open up to you."

"I'm a decent listener, too. Now speak on."

Jonathan took a deep breath before continuing to speak. "I've been contemplating, lately. And the thing is, I hate myself."

"Understandable," Andrei agreed bluntly.

"I hate how I tend to say harsh stuff about people I care about." said Jonathan. "About Alek. About Mom. Dad. You."

Andrei nodded lightly. "I've always believed you do care for us. You're just horrible at expressing it. And I presume that you dislike us because we didn't suffer as much as you have?"

"You really do know everything."

"I do not know everything. It just happens that my speculations mostly turn out to be accurate." Andrei corrected him. "But you should know, Kolya, we all suffer in different ways. No need for comparison in what's worse. What matters is how you choose to handle it, whether you really want the suffering to end or you do not."

"I wish someone had given me that advice earlier," sighed Jonathan. "It's just that... I'm so vengeful, I can't help it."

"I understand that. You've truly inherited Mama and Papa's temper."

"For many years, I denied to share any similarities with Mom and Dad. But we all know one can't deny the truth. And the truth is I'm just like them."

"You are. It doesn't have to be a good thing or a bad thing. You just have to learn to live with it."

"But what if I want to die?" said Jonathan, his tone comprising a twinge of pain and sorrow. "What if I don't even wanna live at all?"

"Many angsty teenagers, such as yourself, are thinking the same. They're too miserable to the point that they sometimes forget to consider the consequences. They believe that death will end their pain, but really, the pain will just be passed on to those who love them. And surely anyone who is humane wouldn't want that, right? And they'll feel sorrow too, just by seeing their loved ones drowning in it. May I remind you, dear brother, Mama and Papa love you a lot, in spite of your malevolence. I'm sure you love them back. At least a part of you does. If not, then you will, eventually."

Jonathan stared at his youngest brother. It was after a while that he finally took in every word Andrei said.

"Andrei... have you ever suffered?"

"Haven't we all?" Andrei glanced towards a shadow in the corridor, where he glimpsed a set of sharp teeth and a pair of blood-red eyes.

+++

December 2, 2040
St. Petersburg, Russia

Alek and Jonathan glanced helplessly down at the body inside the casket; the boy looked so much like a life-sized doll that's sleeping, with his pale, porcelain skin and symmetrical features.

Wake up, Jonathan continued to hope, though he knew perfectly well it wouldn't help bring his little brother back to life. You didn't want us to suffer, right? So why are you making us hurt like this?

He could almost hear Andrei's voice in his head, saying:

"It wasn't my choice to hurt you at all. Just remember what I told you."

Jonathan reminisced on his little brother's last words as he lay on his death bed. "I might never wake up once I fall asleep. So here's my last advice: Face reality."

But how could any of them face reality when it was hurting so much?

Natalya, who had always looked so fearless, so strong, so intimidating, now looked so vulnerable that Alek and Jonathan couldn't help but be reminded of a little puppy. She had looked at Andrei's motionless body once, and couldn't bear to look at it again.

Audrey and Yurio held each other, unable to control their tears from falling. The longer they looked at their youngest son, the more memories came flooding into their minds; from the day he was born, to the day he uttered his first word, the first day they sent him to school, the nights he'd sneaked in their room to sleep with them. They never expected that one day, they'll never be able to hear his voice nor feel his embrace ever again. None of Andrei's parents and siblings ever expected to outlive their little boy. It was hard to believe it was only about a week ago that he was celebrating Thanksgiving with them.

Now he'll never get to celebrate his 10th birthday, his 10th Christmas, or the upcoming year of 2041.

Family and friends tossed white roses onto the now-descending casket. Still, Natalya couldn't bear to watch it, to actually accept that her little brother is long gone - she turned away and sprinted off. Ace ran off to follow her.

All the rest managed to say, as the casket reached the underground, was:

"Goodbye."

—-

THIS MIGHT JUS BE THE ANGSTIEST SHIT IVE WRITTEN

— admin audrey