Hi. I'm pretty sure you already know who I am, but I'll introduce myself anyway - my name is Shawn Alfred Nekola, but you can address me by "Fred" or just "Shawn". Yes, I got my first name from my maternal grandmother's ex-boyfriend and my middle name from my American great-grandfather.

So this is my story.

I was born on the 1st of April - yes, April Fool's Day - along with my twin brother, Ciel. But we were separated months after our birth, with our mother taking custody of me, and our dad taking custody of him.

Life was good, I suppose. My mom's side of the family was filthy rich and really famous, and we lived in luxury - we owned residences in New York, Los Angeles, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Makati, Cebu, Paris, London, Milan, Toronto, and Madrid. Yeah, that's a lot, I know.

I lived with great people; my stepfather was a really nice guy - and it turned out his father was my namesake, too. So sometimes I felt like Papa Sebastian was my actual father. But still, I've always been wishing I'd meet my real one and my twin as well.

But despite not being with them at the time, I was still completely satisfied my company. Among my cousins, I was closest with Arianna - she's the same age as I and we share a lot of things in common, such as our love for music, guitars, and our dorky personalities. She was, however, not into pulling pranks as much as I am but she did love making jokes and is a big fan of memes.

I had a sister two years younger than me - you know Cara. You may all see her as that sweet girl who's all smiles and grace - but really, she's as stubborn and strong-willed as our mother. Not as hostile, maybe, but she transforms into a total demon in front of me and our other cousins. Although I'll rarely admit this, I still love her a lot.

I was very close with my Uncle Alek, as we share similar traits in personality and things in common, and I was definitely much more comfortable with him more than I was with my own mother. My mom, though as stern as she may seem, is actually really loving towards us, her family. She looks out for us and would go lengths just to protect us from pain, whether physical or emotional. Which is quite ironic considering she would give me and my brother brutal training once we'd turned sixteen. But let's get to that later.

Year 2054 was a very eventful year. I was eight. It was the year my Uncle Jonathan returned from his long absence. Of course, my mom, my uncle Alek, Granny, and Grandpa were furious at him for making them all believe he was gone forever, but nevertheless they were overjoyed.

Then we became royalty, and I was absolutely proud to have the Grand Duchess who was at the same time the commander-in-chief of the Russian army and the 'Ice Queen' as my mother. She had not only cool titles (get it? That's a pun! Because she's the Ice Queen!) and that kind of cold beauty that could take anyone's breath away, but she had skills and talent that proved she deserved to earn the titles as Grand Duchess, Commander-in-Chief, and Ice Queen. Cara hated having to be an actual princess now, though. But hey - just look at all the nice palaces in Russia, largest (by land mass) and toughest country in the world, and we own them all.

"I don't need a man," my mother had said.

But then this happened: she reconciled with my dad, and I met my twin brother once again. See, I was glad to have my parents remarried, though I was afraid at first that Mom might lose her royal title once she marries Dad. I thought wrong. Turns out that rule only applies in other monarchs like Japan. My dad then became the Duke.

My twin brother Ciel looked exactly like me, except his skin was slightly more tanned due to staying in Italy with our dad and our paternal grandparents.

I had pale skin and so did our sister, though our mom's, our uncles', and our maternal grandparents' were much lighter. See, sometimes they get mistaken as vampires due to their pale skin and love for the cold. Even their skin feels like ice. My grandma Audrey has always had a strong loathing for sweat and too much brightness to the point that she barely even bothered to visit her other home country asides from the U.S.A., which is the Philippines. It's always either New York or Russia. Sometimes Los Angeles (because of our careers), but we make sure we bring a cooler at all times.

Oh, and 2054 was also the year our little cousin Mira was born. She's adorable, and needs to be protected at all costs.

Anyway, I was quite disappointed when I got to know my twin brother. We didn't really get along at first due to our different personalities. I was the kind of person who loved to joke around and break rules, while Ciel was quiet and smart. To him, I was annoying. To me, he was boring.

But it all changed when I stole a whole bag of dessert from the pantry when I wasn't supposed to. Ciel wanted them too, so we worked together to hide them from our mom. We ate so much of the dessert in our room that we both got sick, but ever since then we were partners in crime and we were inseparable.

And then we started acting a bit like one another. I became more sarcastic, and less in to slapstick humor, and Ciel started to talk more. We were a nightmare for our whole family; we were always getting hurt and getting into trouble - and the best part about having an identical twin: we were always tricking them into thinking we were the other!

But everyone loved us anyway, because we never really pranked with the intent to hurt anyone and we were always up for a good laugh. And obviously, we kept these traits as we grew up.

Year 2058 was another very eventful year. I was twelve. It was the year we started a rivalry with Ukraine, and it was just a few months before Uncle Jonathan's wedding with Princess Rosie of Cambridge, King William and Queen Catherine's youngest daughter.

Right so, the wedding. Uncle Jonathan bolted from the ceremony just when the priest asked if he would take Princess Rosie's hand in marriage. Just like how Mom ditched her first wedding with Dad, huh?

Turned out my uncle couldn't handle bottling up all these lies and secrets any longer.

That day was the day we discovered there weren't just eight of us in this generation of the family, but there were nine. God, what other secrets are being kept in this family?

I couldn't help thinking: my mom broke my dad's heart several times to the point that he had almost given up hope and caused him to go suicidal, Uncle Alek broke Arianna and Azaezel's mom's back when they were teens to the point that she tried to hang herself, and Uncle Jonathan left Aunt Mariya to raise Nasya on her own while he was out clubbing and dating other women when he could really just be there for them, with all the money he has. It's not like Grandma Audrey and Grandpa Yurio would be angry at him for it, anyway; Uncle Alek became a father at a young age and they didn't mind at all (then again, Uncle Jonathan is the King of Making Bad Decisions). All three of them were douchebags, and apparently my late uncle Andrei was the only one who's in his right mind if it were not for his death in 2040 (six years before mine and my brothers' birth). But in the end, my mom and my uncles have been forgiven despite all those foolish things they've done.

And then Vladimir was born, thus replacing Nasya as the heir to the throne. God, that boy is annoying. An actual devil. But Uncle Johnny and Grandpa Yurio were way too blind to see that until the kid turned six.

Ah, the year 2064.

I was eighteen. World War 4 had happened due to certain issues between politicians from different nations. And of course, Russia was involved. Russia always has to be involved when it comes to wars (and Jesus Christ, there's always war going on between me and the rest of my cousins).

Mom told us to stay hidden for the sake of our safety, but obviously we didn't want to, which led to an argument.

"We want to get out there and fight!" I quarreled. "Isn't this the main purpose of all the training you gave us?!"

So as I've said earlier, Mom started giving us brutal training once we were sixteen. She would punch us in the guts because she knew we were capable of handling the pain - especially for me, who had inherited her super strength. But at this moment, she seemed to have thought otherwise.

"I... I don't want to lose you too."

And she started tearing up. A rare moment.

She lost her younger brother. She lost her father (yes, Grandpa Yurio, the former god of war, died in battle) and obviously she couldn't bear to lose another loved one.

Ciel, as he always did, understood. He obeyed Mom's orders as good of a child as he is. But Cara said:

"If we were to die, we want to die in battle. Just like Dedushka have."

And I agreed, though I wanted her to stay protected as well. So I took care of my siblings while Mom went off to resume fighting.

But then I overheard a Lithuanian spy telling the other:

"We've successfully planted a time bomb within the area where the Russians are taking refuge. It's about to blow off any minute now, and neither the Duchess, the Duke, the Tsar, nor the Tsarina have a single idea."

Ignoring my siblings' protests, I ran off to the place where the people of Saint Petersburg were taking refuge while successfully shooting opponents out of my way.

I was frantically giving them orders and directions to evacuate to another area. With a million people, obviously it had to take a lot of time.

I managed to find the bomb when it had only a minute to go. I was about to set it off, but was then distracted when I spotted from a distance a little boy sitting on the ground, cowering in fear, too weak to move. It seemed his parents had forgotten about him.

I ditched the bomb to carry him out of the way. And at that very moment, I was engulfed in flames but at least the boy survived. I was hearing my siblings' screams of anguish.

A short moment later my heart was still beating, but it was slowing down as well as my breath was. The soldiers brought me to my mother, who held me in her arms and the last thing I ever heard was—

"I'm proud of you."

—before my head fell back and I was surrounded by darkness.

+++

This is for my loved ones.

I know how difficult this is going to be for you, but please don't cry. I want you to look at the sky, and say goodbye.

Cara,
It's just you and Ciel now. I know when you look at him, you see me. But that's a good thing, right? It's like you can still feel my presence but at the same time you don't.

Arianna,
My female best friend. My female twin. Yes, you - you have always been my favorite cousin. I want you to get married to a nice guy and earn the title as Pop Queen - not just a Princess - because you deserve it.

Azaezel,
Sometimes I envy you. Mom favors you, because you remind her so much of Uncle Andrei. Stay sane, but don't die the way he did.

Magnus,
Thank you for being like an older brother figure to me.

Luciano,
Thank you for teaching Ciel and me your ways of causing chaos. I've always looked up to you, and I still do.

Alice,
Annoying as you may be, you're still lovely no matter what. You always look out for others and that's what I really love about you, though I'd never admit it.

Nasya,
Thank you for acting like an older sister to me.

Vladimir,
You're a fucking brat. I still have hope that you'll improve your shitty behavior as you grow, though.

Anya and Mira,
I know how much of crybabies you two are. Keep crying, but don't stay miserable your whole life.

Aunt Adriana,
You will always be my favorite aunt.

Uncle Jonathan,
Thank you for showing me mercy whenever I trained with you. And for buying me that sports car for my 12th birthday when Mom refused to buy me one herself and Dad thought it was a bad idea.

Uncle Alek,
Thank you for being there for me when Mom wasn't. And for being my number one inspiration. And for all the lessons in music. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have pursued a career as a musician.

Uncle Andrei,
I really wish I have gotten to know you. Mom has always spoken fondly of you. Oh, I can't wait to meet you for the first time.

Grandma Sara,
Keep knitting five sweaters, okay? You're not forgetting me anytime soon anyway. I know it. Oh and I'll say "hello" to Miss Mila for you.

Grandpa Emil,
Stay awesome. But really, you need a shave.

Grandma Audrey,
You're still as gorgeous as ever, even at this age. Stay beautiful - both inside and out.

Grandpa Yurio,
Wait for me. I'll be joining you in a moment.

Historia,
I'm sorry I crashed your dreams of getting married and having kids with me. But I hope there will be a boy who will come to you someday and make you forget about me.

Dad,
Thank you. Thank you for never giving up on Mom.

Mom,
Thank you. For everything. For raising me, for disciplining me, for sacrificing for mine and my siblings' sake, for being the best mother I could ever imagine I'd have.

And of course, this one's for my best friend, my other half.

I know you feel as if you have just lost a part of you. But I'm glad it had been me. After all... though this rarely even happens, you were the one who could handle us separated, right? But now I've left you all alone and I'm deeply sorry about that.

But listen - I want you to live on. I want you to grow up, get married, and have kids. I want you to continue our legacy. Keep pulling those pranks. Do your best to make everyone feel as if I'm still present. Continue to keep boys away from our sister for me. You're never alone. I'm still with you and always will be.

And if ever you feel like seeing me again, look in the mirror. I'll be there. Smile, and I'll smile back. Frown, and I'll frown too.

I love you all.

Love,
Shawn Nekola

——

lol i love angst
-admin audrey