FAMILY
year 2030, age 8

AUDREY: alek! natasha! meet your new baby brotherrr //is carrying a newborn andrei//

NATALYA: omg he's so cute 😭😭😭

ALEK: YAY SO DOES THIS MEAN A CELEBRATION ???

YURIO: yes, we're traveling back to america because your mother insists the party should be taken place there

ALEK & NATALYA: YAY WE LOVE U MOM AND DAD

***

JONATHAN (known as "sebastian" at this time): mother, why can't i have any siblings or even a father ??

MRS. BELORUSOVA: your father died before you were even born. and are siblings really necessary? it's better off just the two of us, my dear.

JONATHAN: yeah, i... i suppose so. //looks out the window, watching the other kids play around with their siblings//

BIRTHDAYS
year 2032, age 10

FRIENDS & FAMILY: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUU ALEKSANDERRRR

YURIK: we got you some yuri mangas

ZAC: THIS TOY GUN

AUDREY: a brand new guitar for u hunny

VIKTOR: only the most exclusive transformers toy for you, my favorite godson

MASHA: NEW CATS FOR YOU BRO //opens a whole box of cats//

OTABEK: the latest installment for your favorite video game

HANEUL: u-um //holds up a heart-shaped box of chocolates//

HANA: haneul wyd it's not valentine's day

ALEK: THANKS SO MUCH YOU GUYS AHAHAHAHAH LETS GO TO THE SWIMMING POOL YO !!!1!1!1!1!!!

***

JONATHAN: so um
mother, why don't i have a birthday?

MRS. BELORUSOVA: because it's not necessary. birthdays are just an excuse for people to waste their money and have fun.

JONATHAN: well, okay then. but... when was i born anyways?

MRS. BELORUSOVA: //sighs// january... january twenty-five.

LIFESTYLE

ALEK: some nice lamborghini you have there, dad! when am i getting my own?

YURIO: on your 13th birthday, i promise

AUDREY: also we got you a new flat-screen tv for your bathroom so you can watch movies or play video games there !!

ALEK: aWESoME I LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD

NATALYA: hey mom, dad, the maids have finished packing my stuff for our trip to maldives tomorrow.

MAID: sir, ma'am, you have visitors. miss kylie jenner, travis scott and their daughter stormi.

***

JONATHAN: //sighs// i really need more new clothes. most of these are starting to rip and fade. also, the tv screen is cracked...

MRS. BELORUSOVA: that doesn't matter. we are saving up money for your school tuition fee and for new training devices.

AMBITIONS
year 2035, age 13

ALEK: mom, dad, i want to become a famous musician.

AUDREY: oh, of course! becoming one won't be a problem! after all, you have all the potential and you're so talented and— okay, okay, i'll start talking to the music producers—they love you!

YURIO: but what about figure skating...?

AUDREY: oh shush you know he prefers music way more, just support him

***

JONATHAN: well shit
my mom just died

KSENIA (his first girlfriend): so now we're walking around st petersburg looking for a job huh
too bad they're not hiring us, everyone here knows you're a delinquent

JONATHAN: //looks at the palace//
...
i know we're broke right now
girl, i guarantee that i will work this out
yeah, see i've got this plan
are you in or out? i need to understand

KSENIA: //nods// definitely in, but you sure...?

JONATHAN: trips to rio, five star meals
girl, don't quit on me now
if i gotta rob or steal, no big deal
oh let me break it down //grabs her hand as they run around the streets//

if i had the money, let me tell you how it'd be
i'd take over the country, everyone would bow to me
sit up in my palace, baby, you would be my queen
we'd run this ship together, just you wait and see

//steals an apple from a store// WE'LL BE ROYALLLTTTtTTYYyYYYYyyyYYyYYYYY

KSENIA: //runs away with him// WE'LL BE ROYALTYYYYYY

JONATHAN: //bites on the apple// WE'LL BE ROYAAALLLTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

BOTH: WE'LL BE ROOOYAAAALLLLTTTYYYYYYYYYYYY //runs off laughing while the manager shouts after them and tries to chase them//

JONATHAN: //drags ksenia w him to a dark corner// so would you cover me
if i gotta take out any enemy?

KSENIA: yEs boi

JONATHAN: yeah, cause it might get ugly //stabs a monster that tried to attack them from above// planning things that you don't wanna see

you're 'bout to party with stars, fancy cars
girl, don't quit on me now
if i gotta rob or steal, no big deal
this is how we're going out

if i had the money, let me tell you how it'd be
i'd take over the country, everyone would bow to me
sit up in my palace, baby, you would be my queen
we'd run this ship together, just you wait and see

WE'LL BE ROYALTYYY

and i'll be the king, baby
we'll be sitting on a throne, yeah yeahh
we'll be sitting on a throne, you and me, all alone
ain't no stopping us now yeeAAAHhhHH

wE'LL BE ROYAALLTTYYY

SCHOOL

ALEK (still 13): //gets into fights with other guys and ends up always winning//

//sets his least favorite teacher's house on fire//

//yells and swears in class//

***

JONATHAN: //gets into fights with other guys and ends up always winning//

//sets his least favorite teacher's house on fire//

//yells and swears in class//

//basically no difference//

WHEN THEY FINALLY MEET
december 2038, age 16

ALEK: //draws back hood//

JONATHAN: //draws back hood//

BOTH: wth

ALEK: holy shit

JONATHAN: well

ALEK: we could be t w i n s
wait who r u

JONATHAN: i'm seb—
...
jonathan. my name's jonathan.

ALEK: aleksander, but you can call me "alek"
anyway im sneaking out HAHAHAHAH i'm actually supposed to be grounded rn but nah bitch

JONATHAN: ah well
at least youre not a broke ass mf like me

ALEK: lol wat

JONATHAN: yeah
if i'd like to have my breakfast hot, my stupid boss will make me pay
and i have to fetch the eggs myself and the store's a mile away
it's cold and wet, and still i get an omelette on my plate
but in my head i'm back in bed snuggled up and sleeping late

ALEK: o shit rlly

JONATHAN: ugh really
but eh i'm used to it
wby ?

ALEK: well uh
if i want some eggs i call my maid and then she comes running in
and she serves them on a silver tray and she brings a cookie tin
and while i eat, she rubs my feet, and strolling minstrels play
but i'd rather be in my bedroom playing my guitar all day

JONATHAN: damn
i'm just like yOUUU
YOU'RE JUST LIKE ME
THERE'S SOMEWHERE ELSE WE'D RATHER BE

ALEK: SOMEWHERE THAT'S OOUURRRSSS
SOMEWHERE THAT DREAMS COME TRUE
YES I AM A BOY LIKE YOUUUU

JONATHAN: YOU NEVER THINK THAT IT WAS SO
BUT NOW I'VE MET YOU AND I KNOW

ALEK: IT'S PLAIN AS DAAYYY
SURE AS THE SKY IS BLUE

BOTH: THAT I AM A BOY LIKE YOOOUUUUUUUU

ALEK: AAAA OMG THIS IS SO AWESOME

JONATHAN: YES B R O

ALEK: LETS GO AROUND PRANKING PEOPLE

JONATHAN: AND BURN HOUSES

ALEK: Y E S

2 months later

JONATHAN:

ALEK:

JONATHAN:

ALEK:

JONATHAN: i fucking regret reuniting with this family

ALEK: that, i strongly agree

JONATHAN: hope you choke

ALEK: you fucking douchebag

JONATHAN: die pls

ALEK: wish you really did die in the fire

JONATHAN: i fucking hate you

ALEK: i fucking hate you too

JONATHAN: bitch

ALEK: whore

NATALYA: oh my god

—

more crack cuming up for yalls

I LOVE BARBIE PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER STfU

-admin awdree