I woke up early in the morning because I felt cold and then I realized the reason behind it: I'm naked. I facepalmed myself.

"Really Trixie? Are you sex deprived or something? You could just have pushed him away he's drunk!" I scolded myself as I realized the reason why I'm naked -_-

I looked at him peacefully sleeping on the other side of the bed. I stood up and showered then got dressed. I started packing my stuff and the twins stuff again. I realized that staying here is not the best idea. I'll just have to find some condo I can buy and stay there. Before I left, I made sure that he can see the medicine when he woke up so he can take it.

"But then again he can suffer from a hang over for all I care!" I thought and sighed.

I went down stairs and stared at the kitchen. 

"I'm really hating myself right now." I thought as I put my bags down and started to prepare some soup for him.

When I'm done, I immediately grabbed my bag and left before I could think of anything more else to do so I can stay longer. 

I drove to the city and realized mid way that I don't really know where to look. I decided to eat breakfast first and think of a way which does not included calling Kris. I went in one of the cafes and ordered coffee and some bread. I walked around to find a place to sit when Tao saw me.

"Trixie!" He called me as he waved and told me to approached them.

I joined him and Suho.

"So how have you been? I mean I know it must have been tough, I just want to you know.." Suho tried to explain and was failing miserably.

"I'm not okay but I'll live." I told him and smiled.

"By the way, where's Kris?" Tao asked.

"He's still in the villa." I told them.

"Oh, he's not with you?" Suho asked.

"Yeah, I kindda decided that I want to stand on my own foot. But am failing miserably." I told them.

"Why don't you just stay with Kris? You're together right? You just don't know how happy we are when he met you and even happier when you 2 got back together." Suho said.

"We thought he was going back to his old self when he found out you were going to get married and all the more when he found out you're pregnant with Luhan's child. He was really mad back then." Tao said.

"Old self?" I asked them.

They both looked at each other before Suho sighed and looked at me.

"I hope you won't be surprised and won't change your view of Kris. Old self wouldn't really be the right term. Probably more like other self. You see, he' suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder but he's okay now. There's nothing to worry about. You make him happy so there's really nothing to worry about as long as your with him." Suho explained.

"But you said you thought he was going back or changing to his other self before?" I told them.

"Yeah, but he didn't because you were there. You still go back to him like I said you make him happy." Suho said.

"Don't worry Kris would never hurt you." Tao said.

I don't really know what to say. It was kind of freaky.

"Are you going back to the villa after this? Can we tag along?" Tao asked.

"Uhmm... actually no. Remember when I said I wanted to stand on my own feet? I decided to leave the villa and find a condo somewhere and that part is where I'm failing miserably. I don't know where to find a condo." I told them and suddenly feeling really embarassed with my situation.

"Oh, if that's the problem I can help you with that I do real estate." Suho said.

He started showing me some good condo's I can buy and some houses also. After a long time of deciding whether I should get that nice house or just a condo unit, I finally decided to get the condo unit. Something is stopping me from buying the house. You know that feeling like you don't belong there. 

Suho accomapnied me to the unit I chose so he can show me around and so that I can decide if I would take it. 

The place was actually nice. It's already furnished and its more than enough for me I guess. I signed the contract and hand him the check. Tao and Suho stayed for a while, we chatted a little bit then they both excused themselves so I can fix my things.

Well, I rearranged some of the appliances to my liking and unpack my bag. I also unpacked the twins bag and put them in the closet. The condo unit is smaller than Luhan's house or his penthouse (more likely -_-) but it has two bedrooms so the twins can stay on the other room. I stared at their room.

I miss them. A lot. When will I see them again? I started crying again. I have been crying a lot lately. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to do If I'll never see the twins again. I remembered what happened with Luhan last night, I'm so stupid. How could I just sleep with him after all the things he had done. There should not be a next time. I had enough, right?  

When I find the twins were going to live here. I'm going to fight for their custody and when the divorce is settled, maybe we should migrate. Somewhere where I can't see Luhan again. I don't want to see him anymore but why does it hurt so much? Why can't I stop myself from crying? I should have enough. I sacrificed enough. Its time to move on. Its time to let it go. Its time for me to be happy. 

'But how could I be happy if he holds a part of my happiness?' That small thought slip my mind and I can't help myself to cry more. 

Why do I love hurting myself? He doesn't love me. He doesn't remember me. He's just like this because he's worried about the twins. Those words he said yesterday, they're lies to trick me to stay so that I won't take the twins. Its all a trap. 

My phone rings and I saw that Kris was calling me.

"Hi" I said.

"Hey, Is everything alright? Do you need me by your side?" He asked.

"I'm fine. There's really nothing to worry about. I've actually bought a new place. I'll bring you here sometime. " I told him.

"I can come right now." He said.

"No, give me time to adjust. I want to do this on my own. I don't want to burden you with all of my problems. How can you find a girl if you keep on looking out for me." I told him.

"But I don't need another girl. I just want you." He said.

"Kris, don't say that. You'll find someone better than me. Me and the twins are already very much grateful for your support in these five years. Its time for you to find your own happiness." I told him.

"But you are my happiness" He argued.

"I am but I know as long as you can see the twins, you will always be reminded of my unfaithfulness. I can't do that to you. I think you've suffered enough being with me. Find someone who could truly make you happy." I told him.

"If that's what you want." He said and ended the call.

Kris has been there with me all this times he deserves someone better, someone who can love him with her everything. I'm thankful towards him and I don't care what disorder he has, he had never hurt me and I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. He had been with me in all the challenges I faced. He accepted me even if I betrayed him. He loved me even though I bore the child of another man. He forgive me in all the pain I've caused him. How could I hate him? He was there to help me stand up eveytime I fall but this time, I need to do it by myself. I can't always rely on him to help me.

I decided to take a nap, I was tired from arranging the house. I layed on the twins bed hoping they would show up. I really missed them and I really want to see them again.

I was awoken by the sound of my phone. I looked at the caller Id and saw that it was Lay.

"Hello, Lay." I said with a very sleepy voice.

"Hey, Trix. I've got some lead on the twins meet me up on your house, the one Luhan bought and just go by yourself and don't tell anyone. I mean it. Tell no one." He said.