a/n:  im extremely ashamed for the super late update (life got in the way) but here it is :)

It was 3 in the morning, when the culprit, who goes by the name Namjoon, got caught (finally!) putting lilies on Noh's table. Much to his surprise, Noh was awake but pretended to be asleep the moment Namjoon sneaked in his hospital room.

"ekk", Noh was able to grab Namjoon's hand even before he could leave the room.

"where do you think you're going?" Noh still had his eyes closed while lying down on his bed, but his hand gripped Namjoon's tight enough so that the latter couldn't even escape the inevitable.

"i—uh—well—" Namjoon froze and could only stutter, knowing too well now that he can't run away anymore. His heart's beating was not any help either because it was just too damn fast. The hand gripping him was sending unimaginable electric currents all over his body, as if his whole body was telling him that this is the only person who has the power to tame him, and make him go crazy all at the same time.

"you can manage to sneak your way in to bring me flowers at 3 in the goddamn morning, but you couldn't bother to explain why you left me?" Noh was now sitting and facing the culprit he hated so much, but he missed dearly as well.

"you don't understand—"

"then make me! you can't just leave someone right after you make them fall in love with you? that's not how things are supposed to work in a relationship, you idiot! I hate you so goddamn much, I just want to strangle you right now!" Noh was practically grabbing Namjoon by his collar, and Namjoon only looked down on his feet, tears starting to stream on his face as he realizes again, the mess he has done. He has fucked up Noh pretty bad and that's why they're here.

"I saw Phun. I know he is alive and I know I couldn't win against him so I distanced myself thinking it was better to let you and him be together. I just—I just wanted to make you the happiest person, Noh"

"do I look like I'm the happiest person right now, Joon? Was your decision worth it?" Noh was yelling, rage evidently showing on his voice and bloodshot eyes. He was probably yelling a little too loud for the hour because the nurse had rush in to this room.

"s-sorry, I heard someone screaming. Is everything okay?" the nurse inquired with sincere concern despite the fact that the dark circles under her eyes showed which means she hasn't slept at all, yet and now she had to come across two young men, arguing at 3 in the morning. How lovely.

"nothing's wrong. we were just talking with much enthusiasm." Namjoon turned to the nurse and did his fake-assed wide grin just to convince the nurse that really, there is nothing to see here.

"Oh, Mr. Kim! So you finally got caught after a few sneaking in, huh? Okay. I'll leave you two be. But please let's tone down a little? Other patients are trying to rest."

"a few sneaking in? what does that mean?" Noh broke the silence after the nurse left the room. His voice still filled with rage but he was failing a little everytime while staring at Namjoon's ridiculously gorgeous face.

"i- uh—I came by often to bring flowers and stuff." Namjoon scratched his head as he spoke, a habit he did everytime he got shy or embarrassed. He just couldn't look Noh in the eye right now. Not like this, not when he knows he is the reason why Noh is in pain. The room was silent, almost dead silent if not for the few sniffs coming from Namjoon who now had his head drooped down. Noh felt horrible making Namjoon cry like this but really, can you blame him after everything he's been through?

Finally, shuffling in his foot, Namjoon came to face Noh and looked him in the eye.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I'm—"

"a complete idiot, an asshole, a stupid piece of shit, there I finished it for you"

Namjoon couldn't hold back the tears that was already welling up, and really, he just wanted to hold the love of his life again, damn it! He just wanted to be there for him, and love him more and never leave him.

"I'm sorry. I know, I'm a complete dumbfuck, I know i did something stupid, i know i was wrong and this is all my fault and i should be the one suffering right now, not you. But please, can I please hold your goddamn hand, and kiss your face? I can't take this anymore" Namjoon was speaking out of embarrassment but more of impulse as he really just want to hold Noh right now. Noh on the other hand, remained silent, and looked at Namjoon dead in the eyes. He can't stay mad at Namjoon of course, it was easier to forgive him than to stay mad at him, and really he was having too much Namjoon withdrawals already, he needed to recharge and be able to cuddle this unbelievably fine looking man right before him. Namjoon slowly sat on Noh's bed, still waiting for his lover's permission to cuddle him right there, and now. Noh still wasn't talking, but Namjoon took it as a positive sign because he didn't flinch on Namjoon's actions either. Scooting closer, Namjoon reached out his hand and brushed his thumb across Noh's pink cheeks, puffy from all the sobbing he did every damn night.

"I've missed you baby, like hell" Namjoon spoke gently, his voice low and deep, and that was enough for Noh to crumble on Namjoon's warm embrace, sobbing as he clung onto his lover's shoulders, breathing in everything about Namjoon. "joonieee.. don't ever l-leave me a-again" Noh stuttered in between his sobs, while Namjoon kissed his forehead every so often and sushed him gently, stroking his back.

"Sssh, baby. I'm here now. I won't ever leave you, okay? Can you breathe for me, baby? Breathe baby. I'm here." Noh obediently followed Namjoon's request and started to breathe calmly, hands still clinging around Namjoon tightly, like a kid holding onto his favorite teddy bear. And in an unexpected snap, Namjoon leaned in and kissed Noh gently, tasting the saltiness of his tears and the sweetness of his lips. Noh smiled into the kiss, hands gripping on Namjoon's shirt, making Namjoon's heart somersault a hundred times more than the human body can comprehend. Now Noh was sitting on Namjoon's lap as Namjoon snaked his hands all over Noh's body, while Noh tugged on Namjoon's hair, making Namjoon groan and blush like an idiot. It wasn't the perfect place for a hot mess of limbs and whimpers, and probably even moans, but it was enough, to be in each other's arms. They would be in trouble, Noh had whispered against Namjoon's neck in between kisses and giggles and Namjoon simply said he didn't care because this was perfect and this was all he needed and if they ever got into trouble, they would simply shrug at whoever caught them doing something on a goddamn hospital bed.

a/n: haha jokes on you because i will never be able to write a proper smut but maybe on the next chapter? who knows? o.O thanks for reading! and again. sorry for the late update. i mean it :(