"Zee-" Iris' voice sounded distant, but calling out to me.

"No-no-" Barry's sobs sound right after her voice, his voice somewhat coming closer as I felt myself slowly drift back into consciousness, "I can't lose you- you have to be okay-"

"Zee!" Iris voice is more like a shriek now, as I felt a jerk at my body, as they tried to wake me up.

My eyes shot up as I choke out for a gasp of air, breathing heavily, my eyes landing on Barry Allen and Iris West kneeling at both of my sides, Barry's mask off, his hair a mess, tears streaming down his face, his eyes red, Iris in the same condition.

"I'm okay-" I whisper out, raspiness in my voice, pulling down the collar of my sweater lightly, revealing where the wound once was, "I found a loop hole."

I sat up quickly, my arms wrapping around Iris first, as I held onto her tight, relief erupting in me, due to the last thing I saw was her dead body in Barry's arms, "How did you survive- I- I watched him kill you-"

"I found a loop hole too-" Iris quietly sobs, holding onto me tight.

My arms fell from around her, as I turn, still on my knees, as I jumped into Barry's arms, his arms tightly wrapping around me, not letting go. Fresh tears streamed down my face, as I took deep breaths, "I love you-"

"I love you-" he tightened his grip, "I love you so much."

My eyes land on HR, Tracy Brand crying into his chest, as HR Wells laid dead on the ground, my voice fading quietly, "HR-"

"He was my loop hole-" Iris cries out, "He uses the piece of Savitar's suit to locate them- and saved me- he took my place- and Savitar murdered him- thinking he killed me."

"He was a good man." I sniffle, staring at HR's body, tears filling my eyes once more, "He didn't deserve this."

-

"What? HR's dead? I can't believe that." Julian sets his bag down, "Is Tracy all right?"

"Not good." Iris answers, "She just wants to be alone."

"There'll be time to mourn. Right now, we need to figure out our next move." Barry says, crossing his arms.

"So for the millionth time, I'm lost on all this time travel stuff." Joe spoke up, "What happens now? With Savitar? Iris didn't die. So that changes things, right?"

"I mean, since Iris didn't die, nor did Zee, future me never goes down that same dark path." Barry exhales, "I never create time remnants to fight Savitar. Reign never replaces Zee."

"And if future you never creates these time remnants, then Savitar himself is never born." I finish.

"Precisely." Julian nods, "Once the time paradox catches up with him, then he'll be erased from existence."

"But I saw him." Joe said confused, "He didn't disappear."

"Not yet." Barry inhales, "But he will, Joe."

"Any guesses how long that's gonna take?" questioned Joe.

"Maybe a few hours?" Barry estimated.

"He can do a lot of damage in a few hours." I look between all of them.

"Well, guys, we can't just sit around and wait for Savitar to disappear." Iris tells us.

"But Savitar won't become Savitar if he's erased. Not unless he pulls off whatever he's got in mind, before the paradox hits him." Barry exclaimed, "He stole the bazooka for a reason"

"Yeah, why?" Iris asks.

"I don't know, but remember, he's been planning this for centuries." Barry says, "He wants to be a god.
He must need the bazooka, and Caitlin, to achieve his goals."

"Anybody got any good news?" Joe questions.

"Actually, uh, voila." Julian holds up a vial with some sort of blue liquid in it.

"What is that?" I ask.

"This, Detective, is the cure for Caitlin." Julian answers, a small grin on his face.

"You're kidding." Iris breaks into a smile, "You figured it out?"

"Not by myself." Julian admits, "With the help of Caitlin's mother. This is experimental gene therapy. This? This will rewrite Caitlin's meta-DNA. This will bring back Caitlin."

Before any of us could say anything in reply, Wally runs in with a whooshing sound, catching all of our attention, "I searched the forest. Savitar and Caitlin were gone. So was Cisco."

"Savitar has 'em both." Barry sighs.

-

I walked into the Time Vault, dressed in a pastel yellow long sleeve, black skinny jeans that only had rips at the knees, and black vans, after changing from my blood filled outfit. I sat next to Barry on the ground, looking at him, knowing he wanted to talk about something.

"I hated Thawne and Zoom. They took so much from me." Barry began, "I've hated Savitar for threatening to take Iris away. I've hated Reign for trying to take you away from me too.

"But he didn't." The corner of my mouth lightly turned up.

"How did you do that anyway?" asked Barry Allen, turning his head so he was looking directly at me.

I lightly shrug, "The night you found out who Savitar was. I was at Star Labs with Cisco- and the wound I had from Caitlin- it healed right in front of us. So, Julian and Cisco generated some sort of serum that would- decrease the amount of time that it took for me to heal myself. With that- my cells regenerated- healing the wound before I could die."

"You saved yourself." Barry smiles at me.

"No-" I shook my head lightly, "Cisco- and Julian saved me."

We go silent for a while, before he spoke up again,
"There is strength in anger. I've used it before. And so we sit here, with our anger, trying to think of a way to hurt Savitar or maybe kill him. And I just don't think that hate's gonna get it done this time."

"What do you mean?" I question.

"Something that Snart said to me that the Flash should stay a hero, all the way, and sometimes that it's not about who can punch the hardest or run the fastest." Barry tells me.

"So what are you gonna do?" I ask him, folding my hands in my lap.

Barry inhales, "The last thing he'd expect."

-

My head snapped up at the sound of Barry's footsteps entering the cortex. I was stood next to Iris, Julian, Wally and Joe awaiting in their own spots. Before heart stopped the moment my eyes land on Savitar, as he slowly followed in after Barry.

This was technically my first encounter with Savitar, my heart feeling different overwhelming emotions. My eyes scanned his face, and down his body, my heart fluttering at the sight, but caution and restraint followed right after.

As wrong as it was for me to feel guilt for him, and for my heart to even feel this way, I couldn't help it. He was the broken version of the man I was in love with.

But if Barry Allen brought Savitar here, it must've been for a good reason.

"You make a move toward Iris-" Joe starts to threaten, pointing at Savitar.

"He won't." Barry stops Joe, "Killing Iris won't save him now, not anymore."

"Where is Cisco? Where's Caitlin?" Julian asks, everyone but Barry and I defensive already.

"They're safe." Barry answered for Savitar.

"I was asking him." Julian's tone had dropped dangerously low.

"Show me that you can help me." Savitar's voice is raspy, as he rounded around the desk, walking by me, stopping a few feet away, "Then I will tell you where your friends are."

"You tell us now, or you go up in smoke." Joe threatens.

"This is bloody insanity." Julian blurts out.

"I can't believe this-" Joe continued.

"What is he doing here?" Julian's tone got louder, insulting Savitar, "He's a monster."

My head snaps towards Savitar, looking as he turned his face away, hurt flashing in his eyes, as if this is something similar that had happened to him before, as if they were shunning him again.

My heart ached the sight, as I unintentionally took a step closer to Savitar, my body turning toward everyone else, my voice raising loud enough to shut them all up, "Hey!"

Their heads snap towards me, silence falling upon all of them due to me being one of the only people who rarely raised her voice at them, my voice falling to a soft tone, as my eyes glance at Savitar, his eyes on me, "Don't say any of that. You're hurting him."

"You only care because he has the face of the man you fancy." Julian spat at me.

"Hey-" Barry stops him, his tone warning, "Don't talk to her like that." His eyes falling on everyone, "It's okay. Everyone just-"

Without caution, I slowly started to make my way towards Savitar, Iris catching my wrist, "Zee- stay away from him."

Barry is silenced, as I pull my wrist away from her, slowly walking over to Savitar, standing right in front of him, as he turns his head away, not making eye contact.

"Look at me. It's okay." I hesitantly reach up, holding a side of his face, lightly turning his face so he made eye contact with me, my voice soft and quiet, "Hi-"

He stays silent, just looking into my eyes, as I spoke again, "We're going to help you. This team can do a lot in the time that we have, okay? Just- trust me."

"Thank you." His tone is soft and raspy.

I gave him a weak smile, taking a step away, crossing my arms, looking at everyone else.

"Right. Well, since our guest here has both of our resident scientists hostage, what temporal problem can we help you with?" Julian seethed through his teeth.

"Tracy built the Speed Force trap." Wally spoke up, "Maybe she has an idea."

"Tracy's our best bet." Barry nods lightly.

"Am I?" Tracy's voice sounded the room, as she stepped in, "So you're Savitar. I hear you're about to have a really bad day. Good."

"Tracy-" Barry starts.

"He stole my future." Tracy said, with pure hatred in her voice, "Why does he deserve one?"

"I shouldn't have come here." Savitar exhales quietly.

"No." Barry says, determined to help him, "We'll get her to help us."

"I think I know someone who might be able to get through to her." Iris spoke out.

-

"You remember Star Labs?" I question as Barry and I walk in with Savitar, into the room we were in a few days ago, when we tried to stop Barry from having memories.

"I remember everything." Savitar spoke, looking around, "This is where we came up with the cerebral inhibitor to use against Devoe."

"Who?" Barry asks.

"You haven't gotten there yet." Savitar shook his head, looking up at us, crossing his arms, "So how's this gonna work? Where will I live?"

"What do you mean?" Barry asks.

"Are Wally and I gonna be bunk-mates? Am I supposed to just rejoin Team Flash, fight some Rogues? What kind of life were you thinking I'd lead?" Savitar questions, looking for answers.

Barry stammers, "I hadn't gotten that far yet."

"How do we explain me at the wedding? And do I sit bride-side or groom-side?" Savitar's mouth breaks out into a small smile, amused how we didn't have any answers.

A scoff leaving my mouth as I ran a hand through my hair, "Ah, look, I mean, we don't have all the answers."

"You know, we're gonna figure it out." Barry follows up, "Together."

"No. Not together." Savitar shook his head, "Love and hate, they're so close. It's easy to mistake one for the other."

"What're you talking about?" I question, staring at him.

"You're gonna spend the rest of your life with him." Savitar's eyes dart to Barry, "But I remember giving you the ring. Turning up at our loft with- Big Belly Burger and the brownies you love so much from the bakery down the street. I remember talking to you- and pouring my entire heart out. Asking you to marry me."

My heart dropped, as I stared at him, his eyes on me, feeling my stomach flutter and my heart to pool with guilt. We really never thought this through.

Savitar inhales sharply, starting to walk past me,"I can't do this."

"No, yes, you can." Before I could stop myself, I had grabbed his cold hand, placing a hand on his chest to hold him back. "I will be here for you."

"I let Reign try to kill you." Savitar stares at me as if I was insane, "I tried to kill your best friend- I killed HR."

"You're going to have to live with the weight of his death-" I say, "But we won't give up on you, okay? Barry brought you here for a reason- and that reason is that we are going to do anything and everything in our power to help you. That man-" I look at Barry, then back at Savitar, "That's the man I love. And that man- the man I fell in love with. He's still in you. Under all the hurt. We aren't giving up on you, even if you're giving up on us. That is not what we do. There is a way through this for all of us."

Savitar says silent, as I popped out a quiet question, "Where are Cisco and Caitlin?"

"I'll bring them home." Savitar weakly smiles down at me, before disappearing from my embrace, a beeping noise sounding the room the minute he does run off, my head snapping towards Barry.

Barry and I made our way into the cortex quickly, "What is it?"

"There's energy radiating from the breach room." said Harry Wells as he pulled up the surveillance footage.

"And it's not breach energy." Julian spoke, "It's the philosopher's stone. It's releasing all its energy."

"Savitar." Barry exhales, knowing it was his doing.

"It looks like it's gonna blow." Joe points.

The beeping quickens, as Barry looks at Wally, "Wally. Get everybody out."

Wally does as he's told, Barry grabbing onto me, running me out as well, putting his hand on my back when we stop, as stared at the blue energy that shot right out of the Star Labs, and right into the sky.

-

We had gotten Cisco back. Thanks to the help from Gyspy, who had vibed that he was in trouble, and saved his life. Cisco had told us what Savitar was planning, and that's where we showed up. Iris and I stood next to each other, standing by, watching as Barry, Cisco, Wally, and Gyspy walked behind Jay Garrick, once he was free from the Speed Force.

Killer Frost stood there, confused and shock on her face after killing the Zoom Time Wraith had come out the Speed Force, as she stood next to Reign who was holding the bazooka, her eyes wide and fixed on Savitar who was standing there, angered because of his failure.

Then it began. Gypsy and Cisco were fighting against Killer Frost and Reign, while Wally, Jay, and Barry were right after Savitar. It was only a few minutes, until Reign had disappeared mid fight, leaving Gypsy confused, Cisco defeating Caitlin, giving her the cure. Eventually, before Savitar tried to murder Cisco, Killer Frost had stopped him, showing us that there was still hope left of her being Caitlin.

"I only have a few minutes left. I can feel it." Savitar said loudly, "But before I go, I'm gonna kill Joe. And Wally. And Iris. And Zee. If I am going to die, then everything you love is going to die too."

Savitar turns, Barry letting out a shout, running right towards him, phasing him out of his suit, replacing him with himself, "No!"

Savitar was on the ground, staring up at him, as Barry spoke loud and clear, "How's it feel to get so close to your ascension, and end up on the ground?"

"Now I see." Savitar pants, "It's written."

"Nothing's written!" Barry shouts, Savitar throwing a punch, Barry having him down on the ground within seconds, the metal of Savitar's suit clanking as there was now a metal spear clear in the night, Barry holding it right about Savitar, ready to end this once and for all.

"Do it!" Savitar screams into the night, staring up at him, panting heavily.

Before I could stop myself, I ran right onto the field, standing to the left of Savitar and Barry, a cry leaving me, "No- don't!"

Savitar turns his head to the side and looks at me, a smirk forming on his lips pathetically.

"I thought you were dead." Reign's voice comes from behind me, anger laced in her tone.

"I got better." I simply say, completely fed up with her, turning around, my hands balling into fists, as I held them to my chest, my leg swinging up, my foot coming in contact with her face, sending her flying, landing on the ground and knocked out cold. I let out a shaky breath, facing Barry and Savitar again.

"Do it." Savitar stares at Barry, a pathetic laugh leaving his lips, "You kill me, you become me. Either way, I live."

By now, I had moved behind Barry, a few feet away, Iris was already next to me, holding onto my
forearm.

The spear retracts, Barry using his vibration to destroy the suit, Savitar's expression falling into shock seeing what Barry had did, it finally dawning upon him that he had lost, "I'll never let the pain, the darkness, determine who I am. I will never be you."

Barry lets out a grunt, throwing a punch at Savitar, Savitar dropping to the ground. Barry lets out a breath, staring to walk towards Cisco and Caitlin, but suddenly, Savitar's eyes snap open, as he pushes himself off onto his feet.

"Shoot him-" Iris tells me instantly, as I pulled my gun out, aiming it right at him, my hands shaking.

My eyes land on his face as he took a step towards Barry, starting to run, as I shook my head, feeling stuck and idiotic, due to not being able to shoot Savitar just because he looked like Barry, "I can't-"

Iris grabs the gun from me, aiming it and shooting Savitar right in the back right as he was about to make a move of Barry, Savitar letting out a grunt, falling onto the ground, his entire body erasing from existence. Barry turns around quick, looking at us, his eyes wide.

Iris drops the gun, as I turn and engulf her into a tight hug, letting out a shaky breath.

We had won.

-

It was the night after HR Wells' funeral. Barry and I had just dropped on the couch, Barry still in his tux, and I still in the black dress I had wore. It was tight on my body, but comfortable, which is why I had made an exception for keeping it on.

The minute we had sat down and laid eyes on each other, we both broke out into laughter.

"Stop it." I giggle, hitting his arm lightly, "It's not funny."

"I know-" Barry chuckles, "Why are we laughing?"

"We should not be laughing." I told him, the smile remaining on my lips, "Today, of all days."

"I think HR would have approved." Barry nods lightly, a smile on his lips.

I nod, as he spoke again, "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I look at him, my eyebrows furrowing.

"At the funeral-" Barry began, "Iris told me that you were the one who was going to shoot Savitar. But you didn't- you couldn't."

I sigh, looking at him, "He had the face of the man I love. No matter how much I needed to shoot him- I couldn't bring myself to. Regardless of how evil he was, he was you. Under everything- he was Barry Allen."

"Well now-" Barry wraps an arm around me, "We don't need to worry about him."

"No, we don't. But, you know what we do need to worry about?" I ask.

"What?" Barry asks me.

"Our wedding." I let out a bubbly smile, "We need to make Save the Date cards. And we need to pick out a venue- and figure out where we're gonna have our honeymoon. We have so much work to do."

Barry breaks out into a smile, "How does Australia sound?"

I hum in response, leaning in to press my lips into his, but I stop myself when the lights around us start flickering, the sound of electricity crackling from outside, our window shattering, letting the cold wind welcome itself inside. The sound of zapping, thunder rumbling and the funiture rattling increases.

"Since when do we have earthquakes in Central City?" I question guessed, Barry grabbing onto my arm, slowly pulling me along to the broken window, as we looked out of it, our eyes landing on some sort of storm in the sky, lightning coming from every edge of that storm, the storm a mix of orange, purple, and blue.

"That wasn't an earthquake-" Barry says, staring at the sky.

We decided to go to Star Labs, my eyes immediately landing on Cisco as we walked into the breach room, the place completely trashed. The entire team had come here.

"You found something?" Barry asks, flashing his flashlight on what Cisco was holding.

"Everything's barbecued." Cisco dropped it, "I'm gonna try to establish an up-link to the satellite."

Cisco touches a monitor that sat on the ground, the electronic chirping, as Cisco sighs, "That's not good." Cisco speaks into his walkie talkie, "Hey, Wally, can you reverse the polarity- on the neutron flow?"

"On it." Wally's voice comes through.

"Central City University just reported an earthquake of 6.6 on the Richter scale." Julian read off his phone.

"That's not an earthquake." Harry spoke, "Earthquakes come from down below. This- this is something else."

More rumbling erupts, causing me to grab onto Barry's arm, as more equipment falls and crashes onto the ground, the sound of electricity zapping increasing, in walking Jay Garrick, "It's gettin' bad out there. Emergency services will soon be overwhelmed."

"Guys." Julian spoke, "7.2, that last one."

"We're on! Guys." Cisco called for us as the monitor beeped, something showing up on the screen.

"What is that thing?" I question.

"That's definitely not a breach." Gyspy states at the monitor.

"Holy plutonium." Cisco exhales, "What even emits that many kilojoules?"

"The Speed Force." Jay Garrick answers, sighing.

"But Savitar's dead." Iris reasons.

"That's the problem." said Jay, "It's the Speed Force prison. It needs an occupant. When you freed me, we emptied it. Without a prisoner-"

"It goes unstable." Cisco spoke, piecing it all together, "And now it's bleeding energy onto our Earth."

"Okay, so how do we stop this?" I ask, looking at Barry.

"By giving it what it needs." Barry says, his voice low.

"Which is what?" Iris quietly asks.

No more words were shared in that room as we all ran out of Star Labs, standing on the cement, our eyes falling onto the storm that was in front of us. Lightning came through every bit of the storm, people screamed, many sirens wailing as cop cars were shown everywhere.

"The Speed Force is unbalanced. I have to stabilize it." Barry stares at the storm.

"How do you plan on doing that?" My eyes pull away from the storm and land on him.

"By running into it." Barry grabs onto my forearms, awaiting my reaction.

"No-" my eyes widen, "Once you're in there- you're stuck. You'll be trapped forever- no way out, Barry. There has to be another way."

"If I don't go, the whole city, maybe even the entire planet, could be destroyed." Barry keeps his stare on me.

"Cisco." I look at Cisco, my eyes stinging with tears already, "There's gotta be another way, right? There's always more than one way. This can't be the only way-"

"Barry, Central City needs The Flash." Iris backs me up.

"And they'll have one." Barry smiles at Wally, "They'll have one."

Barry shakes Julian's hand, hugging Iris, then proceeds to ask Harry to stick around for a while, which Harry agreed to, Iris speaking up, "Barry, Wally and Jay said they went through hell."

Our heads turn at the sound of more electricity buzzing, a breach opening, Nora Allen walking through it, looking at Barry, Joe speaks up, "Barry, it's your mother."

"That's the Speed Force." Barry spoke, his eyes stuck on his mother.

"Barry isn't going to hell. But like all runners must eventually, he's reached his finish line. His race is over." Her voice sounds, her eyes on him.

Tears spilled from my eyes, as I looked at Barry, "You can't leave. She can't take you."

"She's not taking me anywhere." Barry comes back over to me, "I have to go."

"Why are you being punished?" I cry out quietly, "You just saved Iris' life- you beat Savitar- you shouldn't be the one taking his place. You shouldn't be stuck in a prison all of eternity. You should be marrying me- you should be here with your friends and family- with me."

"This, all of this, it started with my mistake, with Flashpoint." Barry told me, tears present in his eyes, "This is- this is my penance. This is my redemption."

"My beautiful boy." The Speed Force spoke through Nora Allen, "It's time to rest."

Barry moves away from me, hugging Cisco, "Don't mess it up with her."

"I'll do my best." Cisco held onto his best friend.

"They're all gonna look to you now." Barry quietly told him.

"I'm not a hero like you." Cisco weakly says.

"You've always been my hero." Barry smiles at him, moving to Joe.

"All this time we were trying to save Iris, you're telling me that we should've been trying to save you too?" Joe sniffles, tears in his eyes.

"You did save me, Joe. You took an 11-year-old boy with a broken heart, and you gave him a home and so much love. No son ever felt more love from a father. No father ever felt more proud of a son." Barry hugs him.

"Barry." Nora calls, "It's time."

Barry pulls away from Joe, coming over to me one last time, holding my face, tears freely streaming down my cheeks, as I let out a sob, holding his wrists, "This isn't fair. I don't care if this is the heroic thing to do-"

"Zee-" Barry began.

I cut him off, "I don't want you to be the hero. I want you to be my husband."

"I know." Barry weakly says, trying his best to stay optimistic.

"All this time we were worried that you'd lose me-" I cry quietly, "But I'm losing you."

"It's okay." Barry told me in a soft tone, a tear slipping his eye, "I love you. I love you so much. But you need to keep living your life. Keep growing. Keep loving. Keep running. For me. Promise me, Zee."

"I promise." I softly say, another sob leaving my mouth.

"I gotta go." His voice lightly cracks as he presses a kiss to my forehead, slowly letting go of me, walking towards Nora Allen.

He grabs her hand, looking back at us one last time, before disappearing into the portal, the portal whirling, then coming to a shut, the storm disappearing from the sky.

Then it returned to the same cold night we had come back to, my entire world shattering as what just happened replayed in my mind, Iris West wrapping her arms around me, as I completely collapsed, letting out uncontrollable sobs.

I had lost Barry Allen.

authors note:

ok, no joke, Savitar's kinda really hot. don't come for me.

also, yo man, told y'all I was excited for these chapters, like I'm so proud of this one.