"The Monitor?" Cisco repeats as we were all in the Lounge, "Where did you see him?"

"We went in the Time Vault, right after putting Chester in the MAC." Barry held my hand tightly as we filled the Team in, "The Crisis that he spoke about last year, it's the same one in the plinth's newspaper."

"And it's not coming in 2024." Barry inhales sharply, "It's coming December 10th."

Ralph looks between us, "Are you sure about this?"

Killer Frost shrugs, "The jackass lied to you."

"I hoped that, but- do you guys remember when Barry and I kinda went MIA on you guys for a little- just, randomly?" I recalled, "Well, he and I went to Earth-3, and Jay Garrick helped him see that it was true."

Cisco questions, "How did he do that?"

"Jay projected my mind forward into the future." Barry told them, looking between them all.

"Okay." Cisco nods, "And what did you see?"

"I saw a giant wave of anti-matter sweeping over our Earth." Barry admits, "Vaporized all of Central City and everybody in it, including you three."

"Great." Killer Frost got up, "I'll go mark my calendar.l

"We still have seven weeks to make sure none of this happens." Barry began as Killer Frost walked away.

"Guys, Barry's right." I spoke up, "We've changed the future before- we can change it again."

Ralph speaks up, "So- what else did our Asgardian cosplayer say?"

"That was pretty much it." Barry said, making me shoot him a look right away.

"It's Joe." Ralph looked at his buzzing phone and puts it away. "Needs me at CCPD, but that can wait. We- we need to get on this."

Cisco agreed, "Yeah, we should spend every minute we have on this."

"No, guys, look, I think we should all take a well-deserved time-out and come back tomorrow with clear heads." I told them, holding Barry's hand in between both my own.

"Okay- if you think so." Ralph nods towards me, him and Cisco getting up and walking away.

I sigh, "What now?"

Then, Killer Frost threw an ice dagger at the wall, leaving the Lounge after Cisco and Ralph.

"I have to prepare them for what's coming, they have to be ready to go on without me." Barry sighs deeply, then leans his head against my shoulder, "I guess I know who I need to start with."

-

"Joe thinks there's a meta-killer that might be involved, so if anybody asks, you're my meta-human consultant." Barry filled Killer Frost in as they walked over to Joe and I on the crime scene, "Hey."

I was dressed in a baby blue thermal shirt, that was tucked into black jeans, black boots on my feet.

"Hi." I walked over to him, kissing his cheek as I greeting, "The security guard from a nearby building heard the gunshots, said it sounded like a war zone."

Joe joins us, "We haven't found enough body parts to determine which crew did all this."

"He's covered in claw marks." Killer Frost looked at the body under the plastic, "An animal did this. Good to go?"

I looked at her, "No, we're not."

"This- this isn't animal blood." Barry crouched and looked under the plastic.

I point at the substance on the wood, "There's two more bodies, or what's left of them, and a lot more of whatever that is."

"I see one arm, two arms." Killer Frost hums, "They're from the same person."

"I'll analyze this." Barry got up, "Hopefully, it'll lead us to our killer."

"Thank you." Joe nods, "Can you analyze what's going on with her?"

"Yeah, I'm trying." Barry sighed as Joe walked away.

"Frost!" I walked over to her, as she held one of the guns in her hands, "Frost, what are you doing?"

Killer Frost simply shook the gun in her hand, "There's no ammo in these."

"I know these guns." Barry walked over, "They're charged with dark matter."

I observed, "They're all empty."

"Who would kill for dark matter?" Barry asked, looking between us.

Killer Frost seemed already know who did this, "A coward."

-

"Morning, boss." Allegra greets Iris when she walks into the office of the Citizen, "Detective."

"Hello, Allegra." I kindly smiled at her, looking through documents in a case, seated at Iris' desk as Iris roamed around her office.

Allegra held up a photo, "I have got the mother of all scoops, and thanks to your new intern, it's gonna be a CCC Media exclusive."

Iris looked at her, "Actually, you know, I was hoping that you would help me with the new filing system."

"Alphabetical is great." Allegra smiles as Iris came behind the desk I sat at, her handing Iris the photo she held, "So- there was a break-in at McCulloch Tech last night. Nothing was stolen, but you'll never guess who the perp is."

"Get this." Allegra was proud, "Harrison Wells is alive."

When I heard this, I immediately dropped the folded I held on the desk and got up, looking at the photo, "Where'd you get this?"

Allegra softly laughed, "One of the McCulloch security guards and I go way back."

I took the photo from Iris, her and I matching the same look on our faces.

"Nice work- um, I'll tell you what." Iris clears her throat, "I will let Detective Zee look into this, and in the meantime, I could use some quotes on that mayor story. The city council's wondering how long this new one's gonna last."

Allegra's expression dropped, "Uh- I'd rather do this."

"Allegra, look, I understand, okay? I was an ambitious cub reporter once, too." Iris wanted to confide in her but couldn't, "You know, this is great work, but we will take it from here, okay?"

Allegra walks away, "Fine."

-

"The satellite's facial recognition spotted our news Wells less than an hour ago." Cisco held the device in his hand as he and I walked down the alley, looking for this new Harrison Wells.

A loud beeping filled our ears from the device he held, "According to Miranda, it's somewhere in this area."

Suddenly, a grappling hook flew over our heads and attached to something, as the Harrison Wells we were looking for zip lined over us and landing into the ground.

"Who is this guy?-" I blurt out, "A wannabe Oliver Queen?"

Harrison looks back at us, a simple smirk on his face.

"Harrison Wells, welcome to Earth-1." Cisco places his device in his back pocket and walks toward him, "My name is Cisco Ramon-"

Cisco gasps when Harrison grabs his neck and pins him to the wall, "Why are you following me?"

"Oh, great." Cisco strained out, "Another angry one."

"To get your hands on this priceless beauty? Is that why? Go ahead." Harrison held a red jewel in front of Cisco's face, "It gives nightmare hallucinations to all of its victims- would you like that?"

Cisco chokes out, "No!"

"All right, that's enough-" I stepped closed to them, "Let him go."

Harrison stopped when the device on his arm started beeping rapidly.

He steps back, turns and walks towards me.

He stood in front of me, "So- it's you."

I blink, "What?"

"What's your name?" Harrison stared down at me in fascination.

"Zee Allen." I hesitantly told him, staring at him.

Harrison began, "Well, Zee-"

My fist came in contact with his face, knocking him out, as he fell to the ground, "And don't you forget it."

Cisco looks at me, "I had that!"

I roll my eyes, mocking him, "Oh great, another angry one-"

-

"According to his techno fanny pack, this belongs to Dr. Harrison Nash Wells." Cisco said from next to me as we sat in Iris' office while she was gone, Cisco and I sharing a seat, Harrison laying on the couch.

Suddenly, Harrison shouts, making Cisco and I jump up quickly, as he got up as well.

"Easy." Cisco stayed by my side and held his palm out to Harrison, "We're not gonna hurt you."

"All right, take two." I began, "I'm Zee Allen, this is Cisco Ramon."

"Zee." Cisco gestured, "Cisco."

I press my palms together, "And we are friends of the Council of Wells."

"Oh- those idiots." Harrison said, then began inching closer to me, his device waving over my face due to how short I was.

"Hey-" I held my palms out as Cisco guarded me, "Okay- I knocked you out once before, and I'll do it again, if you don't back the hell up-"

"I let you do that." Harrison steps closer to me, "Now hold still-"

"Ah, ah, ah." Cisco protectively had an arm in front of me, "What are you doing on our Earth?"

"What am I doing?" Harrison repeats, looking at me, "I'm searching for an artifact that just happens to contain the same particles- I'm currently reading off you."

"You're reading particulars off of me?" I questioned as he opened the door, searching but his device only beeped when it came around me, "What?"

"What- what particles of what?" Cisco asked immediately, pulling me back to stop him from repeatedly scanning me.

Harrison stops, "Eternium."

"Eternium?" Cisco repeats.

"Eternium is a Multiversal element, all right?" Harrison told us, "Although the readings were stronger in the alley."

"Listen, Indiana, I don't know how they do things on your Earth, but this ain't "Temple of Doom"." Cisco was almost mocking him as Harrison searched for the element around the office, "And what is Eternium supposed to be, anyway? Some kind of stolen mystical element from the tiki gods that you suddenly have to return?"

I looked at Cisco, "I have an mystical element in me that needs to be returned to the tiki gods?"

"Look, there's no such thing as mystical mumbo jumbo or gods." Harrison stops us, "What there are are meta-humans, aliens, and false gods worshiped by simple-minded people that find comfort in myths. I dispel those myths- you people are no help."

"Newsflash, Nash." Cisco doesn't let him grab his things, "We've actually done this dance before."

Harrison almost laughs, "Is that right?"

"That's right." Cisco nods, "It usually starts off rocky, especially between you and me, but eventually, we bond, and you learn to embrace that sensitive side. So- why don't you just drop the act, and show me that warm, compassionate, smart guy that I know you to be."

"Let me ask you a question." Harrison began, "Do I look like I want to hold hands?"

Cisco grabbed the belt he reached for, "If you want your toys back, you might just have to."

Harrison chuckles and suddenly there was fog everywhere and the minute that it started to clear up just the slightest bit, Harrison was gone, and so were his things.

"Wait- are you kidding me?" I coughed, looking around the fog and in the hall.

"Well, I have to admit." Cisco was also coughing, "That was pretty cool."

I nod in agreement, "Yeah, yeah it was."

-

I walked down the hall at Star Labs, being here the first time today after Cisco and I had lost Harrison.

I made my way towards the Med Lab, not running into anyone yet, when Barry walks right out and to me.

I gave him a weak smile, "Hey-"

"Hi." Barry exhales deeply and walks over to me, wrapping his arms around me, pressing a small kiss to my lips, "How's your day been?"

"Eventful, you?" I looked up at him, my hands on his chest, as he simply gives me a shrug, my eyes looking past him, noticing a man I didn't know, "Is that the coward Frost mentioned?"

"Yeah, Ramsey." Barry exhales deeply and looks back, "I have a bad feeling about him."

"Wait- what's he doing?" I slowly stepped away from Barry and walked straight into the Med Lab when I noticed Ramsey shoving the vials of dark matter into his bag, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Ramsey froze and slowly looked up, his head turning toward me.

"Put them back." I was stern, taking a step closer.

"I had a feeling about you- I hoped I was wrong." Barry had joined us, I looking back at him as he stood right behind me, "But- I know a desperate man when I see one."

Barry also had a stern tone when he spoke, "Listen to her and put them back."

Ramsey pathetically smiles, "No."

I cross my arms, "I'll make you."

"Go on, then." Ramsey didn't care, "Like your husband said, I'm a desperate man. I have nothing to lose."

Barry stares at him, not even taken back that Ramsey knew right away that we were together, "I thought you wanted to save lives."

Ramsey then says something that makes Barry and I both realize it, "HLH isn't just my mother's disease."

I exhale deeply, "You have it too."

"First it killed her, and now it's killing me." Ramsey said, as if he was seeking for sympathy and pity for us to just hand the dark matter over.

"I still can't let you take those." Barry wasn't going to let him, "Look at what it did to Mitch Romero."

"I am marking a calendar every day until I die, waiting to fall off a cliff, powerless to grab onto anything or anyone." Ramsey was raising his voice as he spoke, "I watched my mother dive off that same cliff with a smile on her face- she didn't even fight."

"Barry and I know what it's like to lose your mother." I stepped closer, dropping my arms, "I know you're angry."

"This isn't anger." Ramsey replies, "This is the pain beneath my anger- It takes courage to fight death."

Barry slips his hands into his pockets, "Maybe- it takes more to accept it."

"My mum had that same look on her face when she was first diagnosed." Ramsey stared at him, "You're a dead man, too- aren't you, Barry?"

When Barry doesn't reply, Ramsey takes a step closer, "So- why don't you fight for yourself?"

"I'm marking my calendar with the days I have left to live." Barry took a step closer as well, "And I'm gonna spend them saving as many people as I can."

"You're not a coward." Ramsey scoffed, walking back to the box of vials and his bag, "You're just naive."

"Mitch Romero's still out there." Barry places a hand on my back and leads me over as well, "You said you wanted to save lives."

"Prove it, help me stop him." Barry was firm, staring at him, placing his palms on the metal surface, "Or get out of my lab."

I proudly smiled, pursing my lips to hide it.

Ramsey paused for a moment, before grabbing out only one of the two vials he shoved into his bag, holding it out for one of us to take.

I held my palm out, "There was another."

Ramsey glances at me, before grabbing the other out reluctantly and placing them both in my palm, "Let's get to work."

I placed the vials back in the box and shut it, "Let's."

"You know, I don't understand you, Barry." Ramsey looks at my husband, who was smiling down at me, "You march towards death without fear, just like Mum."

When Barry looks up at him, Ramsey questions, "Where is it you get your strength?"

Barry grabs my hand, "Her."

I looked up at him, staring up at him in pure admiration.

"People I love." Barry added, his thumb caressing my hand.

"I see." Ramsey's words made Barry and I exchange looks, "Well, it must've been incredibly hard to tell them."

-

"Zee, Frost, Romero's heading to the pipeline." Barry's voice filled into the comm in my ear a little later that day.

Killer Frost and I met in the hallway, and by the time we showed up to the pipeline, Barry already had Romero in a cell.

Killer Frost let her guard down, "Oh, I miss all the fun."

Barry looks back at us, "Next time we have to lock up an undead meta, he's all yours."

"Uh, Barry." I trail off, grabbing his attention, Killer Frost's and Barry's gaze following mine as I stared at Romero.

Romero pounded on the glass, before shrieking loudly and pounding once more but at his hardest, shattering the glass and knocking us all off our feet.

Romero walked out and held the vial of dark matter, shoving it into his wound, shrieking loudly.

Killer Frost got up, "Guess those meta-cuffs would've been a waste of time."

Barry helps me up, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I stared at Romero as Killer Frost ices him to the ground, "Dark matter is only fueling his rage-"

"All right, get back." Barry guards me, making Killer Frost and I back away, "I'm gonna throw a lightning bolt at him-"

"No, no, no, I have a better idea!" Killer Frost stops him, "Get me all the dark matter in Star Labs- now."

Barry looks at her as if she went mad, "That's gonna make him stronger."

"No, it's gonna make him angry." Killer Frost corrects him, as Barry was shaking his head in confusion.

"No, no, no- she's right-" I interject, "The dark matter is fueling his anger and the more you give him- and some point, he'll overdose!"

Barry nods and runs off, returning with the entire box of dark matter, Killer Frost speaking, "Rage on this, Romero."

Barry runs around Romero, injecting him with all of the dark matter in the box, the vials falling onto the ground, as he returned to my side.

Romero's body began to tremble severely, as he let out a loud shriek, my eyes widening when his entire body exploded, the substance that was at every crime scene involving him splattering everywhere, as Barry, Killer Frost and I rush to cover our faces.

"Oh my God." My arms uncross from my face, completely covered in the substance as were Barry and Killer Frost, "I loved this shirt."

Barry slipped on some on the ground, falling onto me, grabbing onto me for support as I held up both up, Barry looking like he could throw up.

I squeeze my eyes shut, "Please don't throw up on me."

"You were right." Killer Frost exhales deeply, "Anger really does cloud judgment."

-

"No breaks, just bruising." Killer Frost has her arms crossed as we were all changed, speaking with Ramsey in the Med Lab, "You got lucky."

I had changed into one of Barry's shirts, leaving the first two buttons undone, with black ripped jeans, as my hair was damp from just showering.

"I must be off." Ramsey got up and walked over to his coat, picking it up along with his bag.

I walked over to him, "Do I need to check if you've taken anything else to try and cure your disease?"

Barry was behind me within seconds, "What she means is- I know we didn't see eye to eye today, but thanks for your help."

I cross my arms and roll my eyes, "Yep- totally, that's what I meant."

Barry wrapped an arm around me and nodded towards Ramsey, "If you ever want to talk."

"Thanks, but I'm fine." Ramsey nudges Barry, walking away, "See you in the next life, Barry."

"I don't like him." I watched him walk away, "He gives me weird vibes."

-

Upbeat music blasted down the hall as Cisco, Ralph and I inched closer to the Star Labs Lounge.

When we entered, we're almost instantly hit with a party, blue lights shining through the room, people dancing, glow in the dark sticks all around the room.

Cisco looks around, his eyes wide at how we just walked into a great party in a place that was typically for work, "What in tarnation?"

My gaze tears away from the lights and music when I see Barry dancing his way towards me, a smile wide on his lips, a glow in the dark ring around his neck.

"I've only been gone for an hour-" I laughed at his dance moves, "What's going on?"

"Frost has never had a birthday party, so I offered to throw her one." Barry said over the music, filling Cisco, Ralph and I in, "She picked the guest list."

Killer Frost breaks something, a smile on her face as she took tall, "It's my party, and I'll rage if I want to!"

We all cheered, Cisco and Ralph wandering off into the crowd of dancing people, as Barry grabbed my hand and pulled me into him.

"Oh my God." I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck, "I had no idea you could throw a party like this."

"Oh yeah?" Barry pulled me close, his forehead leaning against mine, "That's probably because you've never let me plan a birthday party for you."

"Because I don't go big for my birthday!" I lightly hit his arm playfully, beginning to laugh, "Fine- if I'm ever that desperate- I will let you plan my party for me."

"You did not just-" Barry scoops me into his arms, making me squeal lightly, walking into the crowd of people.

The rest of the party was spent in kisses, and us dancing, laughing with our friends.

-

I had my arms around Barry's neck, my cheek against his shoulder, as he leaned on his elbows against the railing of the balcony.

"I can't believe I just threw up off the balcony." I nuzzled my face into his soft shirt, "I mean- what if someone was walking down there and then just- boom?"

"You've had a little too much too drink." Barry leans his head against my head, "But, you've had enough water to sober you up."

"Yeah- I'm sober." I kiss his shoulder because I was too lazy to reach for his lips, "I love you."

"I love you too." Barry softly smiled down at me but I could see something was bothering him.

"Barry." My eyes scanned his expression, lifting my head up despite my already pounding head, "Are you okay?"

"I just- I don't know." Barry exhales deeply, "I know that I'm going to vanish soon, but- I'm still getting upset over little things like- how I'm not going to be around next year to plan your birthday party."

"If you wanted to talk like that- you should've started when I was drunk." I looked at him with sad eyes.

Barry's eyes were locked with mine, "You'd start crying if I did."

"Well- I guess I'm not very different when I'm drunk then?" My voice fell quiet, as I could feel my eyes begin stinging with small tears.

"Whenever you talk about life after Crisis, you never talk about yourself." Killer Frost's voice filled our ears, making us turn and look at her, as she thought out loud, "You're gonna do more than just vanish in Crisis, aren't you?"

Barry covers his face, "I don't know how to tell them."

"Barry, keeping this secret all day hasn't felt right." I grabbed his hand, "I think we should tell them- together."

When Barry nods, Ralph and Cisco has joined us outside on the balcony after they had been told that we needed to talk to them.

I held Barry's hand, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear, "Barry and I didn't share everything that we learned about Crisis, and you guys deserve to know the truth."

"The Monitor didn't just warn us that Crisis was coming early, there was something else that he said had to happen." Barry clears his throat, going into depth, "When I projected my mind forward, I saw billions of possible futures."

My voice came out quieter than I intended, quoting his exact words, "Billions of possible deaths."

Barry lets go of my hand and wraps his arm around me in comfort, "The only timeline where everyone survives was the one where I died."

Shock crosses both Cisco's and Ralph's expressions.

"I have to die in Crisis." Barry told them, "None of you can try and save me."

authors note:

they're literally goals and I can't handle it at this point

like has anyone ever encountered a more perfect couple

vote and comment loadsssss tho pls and ty