"Zee, you've got to be kidding me." Barry sighs in slight frustration, seeing me up again, "You're supposed to be resting."

"The wounds healing." I shot back at him, "I can heal too, ya know?"

"Regardless-" Barry exhales, "I can get you whatever you need."

"Well gee, can you get me a shower?" I lightly roll my eyes at him, slipping off my shirt, walking into the bathroom.

Barry stands by the door frame, "I just don't want you to be in pain- or anything like that."

"You know-" I began, my hands running over the bandage, "You can always just talk about what happened with Ralph."

"I'm fine." Barry sighs, emphasizing.

"Mhm." I mumble, not buying his act, "At this point, I might just squeeze an appointment in with Dr. Finkle."

"Please- don't." Barry pleads quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You're gonna need to talk about it some how- some way." I shut the door in his face, locking it, slipping off the rest of my clothes, stepping into the shower.

-

"So, you're trying to stop a guy who thinks he's smarter than everyone and his true-believer lover, who are hell-bent on achieving their evil machinations at any cost." Leonard Snart repeats, "Well, it's right up my alley."

Since Devoe was already planning on going after Fallout at ARGUS, we had called Leonard over so we could stop it from happening, and cool him down before he exploded.

"Except Devoe actually is smarter than everyone." Barry exhales, "He created 12 meta-humans just so he could steal their powers. And he left everybody dead in the process."

"Including Ralph Dibny, who was a team member of ours." I look down, my arms crossed, slight soreness in my chest from my healing wound, due to the damage of it, taking the rest of today to heal.

"I'm sorry." Leonard gave us his condolences, "That's rough."

"All these deaths have been rough." Barry crosses his arms, "We can't dwell on it right now. You know, we have to focus so Devoe doesn't know what we're doing and we have a shot at saving Borman."

"Which is why we came to you." I admit, looking at him.

"Oh, I see, and I'm just outside the box enough to catch Devoe off-guard." Leonard turns towards me.

"That, and we need your cold gun." I put a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Oh? For what?" He questions, his hand going to it immediately.

"We've been working on modifying a radiation hazmat suit to regulate his internal temperature to keep his core from raising to the point of detonation during transport." Caitlin explains, "Your cold gun would be our backup."

"It must be happy hour, and I'm the two-for-one." Leonard looks at her, "What about your chilly friend? She doesn't want in on the fun?"

"She's gone." Caitlin quietly says.

"That's too bad." Snart's eyes land on us, "All right, you get me for 24 hours. Not a minute more."

"Wait, why not?" Cisco is quick to question.

"Because I thought I'd make Ray an honest man." Leonard held up his hand, a ring resting on his finger, "Tomorrow."

"Oh my god-" I gasp quietly, everyone erupting in joy, feeling happiness for Leonard Snart.

"You're getting married?" Caitlin smiles, "That's so exciting!"

"I figured if you two could make it," Leonard gestured towards Cisco and Barry, "So could we."

"What?" Barry and Cisco's expression change.

"No, we-" I began, gesturing towards Barry and I.

"I tease." Leonard calms us down, "So, where are we moving this guy to?"

"ARGUS has a facility in New Brighton." I told him, "High tech, high security He should be safe there."

"And how long till you're done with the suit?" Barry asks Caitlin.

"Few more tweaks." Caitlin nods.

"I'm gonna go call my dad and let him know the plan." Iris leaves the room, leaving us alone.

My hand grabs Barry's as I slowly lead him out the room and into the Speed Lab, where we stood alone. Barry shot me a confused look, the same look on the face from earlier this morning.

"What?" Barry questions.

I cross my arms, "We can't dwell on death right now? Really?"

Barry exhales sharply, his eyes rolling to the back of his head in slight frustration, looking back down at me, "I'm serious. We need to focus on getting Devoe."

"Barry." I stare at him, "I gave you a full week to deal with what happened with Ralph on your own. All you've done is- shove all the grief away and keep a straight face on."

"I've dealt with a lot of death in my life, Zee." Barry held eye contact with me, "I just know how to deal with death now, and it doesn't affect me as much as it once did."

"Cut the crap." I shook my head in disbelief, scoffing, "You need to let yourself grieve. Or all of that grief will find its way up to the surface- and it'll overwhelm you."

"Zee- I'm fine." Barry puts his hands on his hips, "I don't need to talk about what happened with Ralph."

"But you do!" I ran a hand through my hair, now frustrated, pressing my palms together, looking at him, "Who the hell knows- you might go and change the timeline because of the overwhelming wave of grief that'll hit you soon enough."

Barry scoffs, "I'm not gonna-"

"Don't." I point directly at him, cutting him off, not wanting to hear what he had to say.

"Listen-" I pinch the bridge of my nose, blinking long and hard, "I can't blame you for the way you're acting because you're acting the exact same way I was when you went into the Speed Force and left for six months. But- I let my family be there for me- hell- Iris was my practically therapist for- what? Three months?"

"You want to be my therapist?" Barry squints his eyes at me.

"Oh my god- Barry." I look up at him, "I just want you to talk to me. To let what you're feeling out."

"I'm fine-" Barry began.

I cut him off once more, pointing at him, "Don't."

I sigh, turning around, leaving the Speed Lab, passing Leonard Snart as I walked into the hall.

Leonard walks into the Speed Lab and over to Barry, giving me the hint he heard the entire conversation as I walked down the hall, "Trouble in paradise?"

-

"You're telling me I have to wear this thing the whole time?" Fallout asks me as I walked with him, following Joe and Barry.

"Yeah, look, that suit protects us from you so that we can protect you from the guy that's trying to hunt you down." I told him, my hands on my hips.

"Why is he after me?" Neil, aka Fallout questions.

"Honestly, Neil, we don't know, but we want to find out as much as you do." Joe answers him.

"And we will." Barry nods, "Trust me."

"Saved me once, Flash, I trust you to do it again." Neil nods as we made our way over to Leonard and Caitlin.

"What's that?" Joe questions, gesturing to what Caitlin held in her hands.

Caitlin held it up, "I whipped up this cocktail of atomized DTPA and potassium iodide. It should flood our thyroids with enough non-radioactive iodine so that if our containment suit doesn't work, it should offer us some protection from radiation."

"Some protection, how vaguely reassuring." Leonard says, as Caitlin injects them all with it.

"How long will this last?" Barry asks.

"Two, three hours max." Caitlin told him.

"You guys better get going then." I cross my arms, "Let's just go over the plan one more time."

"I'm going to be running ahead of the truck, scouting the route for any signs of trouble." Barry says his part.

I nod, "And I'll be at Star Labs tracking any pocket dimension en route."

"And I'll be in the truck with Neil monitoring his vitals and rads." Caitlin continues.

"With me at the ready, in case our meta of mass destruction here goes all mushroom cloud." Leonard looks at Neil, "No offense."

"And I'll be driving." Joe exhales, "And reciting every prayer that Cecile's ever taught me."

"Look, guys, I know Devoe's hit us pretty hard, but right now let's just-" Barry pauses, looking at all of us, "Let's try to forget what he's taken from us, and stay focused on taking something from him by getting Neil safely to ARGUS. We do that, whatever Devoe has planned falls apart. Winning this battle may just win us this war."

"Hear, hear!" Leonard stares at him, "Let's all make sure we keep our heads in the game. So we can stay safe out there."

-

"We really have no way of finding Joe and Caitlin?" Barry questions once both him and Leonard got back from the unsuccessful mission, "Not even by tracking Fallout?"

"That hazmat suit is hiding his radiation signature." Cisco exhales, "So the satellite can't even find him unless he heats up."

"Okay, well, what do you know about Laurel Lance's doppelganger?" I ask, "And why was she hunting you?"

"That was Siren-X, all that's left of the Reichsmen." Leonard tells us, "An elite assassin gone mad, and she is relentless. Carried a torch for Dark Arrow, unrequited, so she's none too pleased with those responsible for his death, present company included."

"So she's practically Black Siren 2.0-" I exhale, Leonard staring at me, waiting for an explanation, "The Laurel Lance of Earth-2."

"And Earth-1's Laurel Lance-" Leo looks at us, trailing off.

"She died." Cisco told him, "She was the second Black Canary after her sister, who also died and came back, but as White Canary, cause-"

"Cisco." Barry calls his name out, stopping him, continuing to pace right next to me.

Cisco clears his throat, "It's complicated."

"Right." Leonard shot us a look, "Doppelganger confusion aside, Siren-X has my cold-gun and a nuke, and her thirst for vengeance won't prevent her from using either one on me or all of you now."

I break eye contact with Leonard, turning, grabbing Barry's arm, stopping him from pacing, "Hey-"

"What?" He looks at me, the look in his eyes burning into me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I quietly question, putting aside the frustration between us from earlier, "You seem really out of it since you guys got back."

"I'm fine." Barry dismisses, pulling away from me.

"I'm just a little worried." I admit, my hand clenching into a fist then releasing, not knowing what to do after he pulled away from my embrace, then both hands slipping into my back pockets. "It seemed like she got the jump on you out there. Or maybe it wasn't even her- maybe it was Devoe- and because of him you were thinking about Ralph-"

"Not everything's about Ralph." He snaps at me, his voice raising slightly, his eyes wide, staring at me, "She didn't- okay? She just caught me off-guard. And why does it matter right now?"

"Because-" I began.

He cuts me off, "We don't even know where Joe and Caitlin are. That's the only thing we should we worrying about right now."

I sigh in defeat, "I-"

"Cisco, will you just- see if Harry has any ideas?" Barry looks at Cisco.

"I'm on it." Cisco nods, leaving the cortex.

Barry's eyes land on me, as he orders, "Just watch the satellites like a hawk."

He leaves the cortex, a defeated sigh leaving my lips again as I ran a hand through my hair, helpless tears filling my eyes, Leonard's eyes on me, "Leo, what happened out there? Barry's on edge."

"Oh, just your typical deadly combat between two metas from multiple earths." Leonard shrugs.

"Leonard." I gave him a hard stare, "I'm serious."

"I'll go talk to him." Leonard nods, leaving the room.

-

[ barry's pov ]

"What'd you see out there, Barry?" Leonard Snart's voice filled my ears as he walked into the Speed Lab where I sat, my eyes focused on the monitor in front of me, "When you froze up?"

"Nothing." I dismiss.

"Well, let's see." Leonard walks over, "You just got two of your teammates captured, almost got me killed, and stressed your wife out to the point where she's in tears because of all the arguing. So either you explain what happened or I leave."

I exhale, guilt washing over me due to the thought of me being the reason Zee cried, "I saw Ralph."

"Mm, I warned you." Leonard hums, "He is messing with your head."

"No, it's not like that." I shook my head, "Do I miss him? Yes. Do I regret what happened? Of course. But I don't need lessons in loss. What I need to do right now is lead my team."

"Well, you're gonna lead them to their deaths if you don't deal with this." Leonard snips lightly.

"Back off, Leo." I warned him.

"You need to grieve him, Barry." Leonard tells me.

"Grief is a luxury I don't have time for." I shook my head.

He shouts, "Make time!"

"I can't!" I shout right back, small tears filling my eyes, "Not Ralph, not right now."

"So we've finally reached the core." Leonard round the monitor, looking at me, "You don't want to grieve this wound.So Ralph's death must be different from all the other losses you've experienced, but why? Why?"

"Barry, trust me. There is no outrunning grief." He spoke, starting to leave the room, "If that was a pun, I'm sorry."

-

[ zee's pov ]

"How much time do we have left on the injection?" Joe mutters, him and Caitlin still cuffed, my hands fiddling with it, trying to free them.

"Not enough." Caitlin mutters back, her eyes on the cuffs.

"Well- I don't exactly have any of that injection in me." I exhale, my hands working faster to try and get the cuffs off.

We stood at CCPD, all other cops down, Joe, Caitlin and I the only ones standing. In seconds, Barry ran in with Leonard, Siren X sending her sonic scream towards him, sending him off his feet.

"This is for destroying my world!" Siren X shouts, letting out her sonic scream towards Fallout to try and make him explode, and it was working.

"Crap-" I exhale, using my abilities to just burning the cuffs off, my head snapping towards Siren X.

I exhale sharply, my eyelid holding over my sight, as I leant against the desk, the radiation from Fallout being too much for me, my entire body feeling weak.

"The radiation is affecting her-" Caitlin holds me up, "Zee, you need to use your force field to block the radiation until we can get you out-"

I nod, letting my abilities work at its full capacity even in my state, keeping the force field around me to hold back the rest of the radiation from reaching me and poisoning me.

"Flash, get up." Leonard Snart's voice snaps, as he was on the ground a few feet away from Barry, Barry staring into nothingness, tears filling his eyes, "Get up!"

"She can't take the radiation much longer, Flash-" Leonard raises his voice, gesturing towards me, in hopes that his wife being in danger would snap him out of the wave of hurt that was washing over him, "Flash, people are going to die, Flash."

"Flash, Flash!" Leonard calls out, "You have to deal with the pain! Can't get away from what's inside you, so stop trying!"

"Flash!" Leonard bangs his fist against the ground, trying to get his attention, "Flash! Wasn't your fault!"

It was as if reality had punched Barry right in the face, because after that, he got right up, lightning sparking in his eyes as he ran, knocking Siren X off her feet, sending her flying, knocking her out, Leonard and Caitlin grabbing the cold guns and containing Fallout's explosion, "Time to get cold-blooded."

"He's contained." Caitlin says once they cool him down and place the helmet back on his head.

I let out a shaky exhale, the force field I had out around myself fading, as I stood to my feet, rubbing my eyes.

"Where's The Flash?" Joe asks, looking at all of us. I shot him a look as we all slowly made our way upstairs, Caitlin, Leonard and I standing outside Barry's old CSI Lab, as Joe went in, "Bar. What's going on, Bar?"

"He trusted me, Joe." Barry's light sob fills my ears, my eyes slightly widening, my heart aching in pain at the sound of it, "I let him down. Ralph-"

I turn to walk into the Lab, Leonard grabbing my wrist, stopping me.

I stood still, staring at the ground, listening to every word as Barry's defeated, weak and raspy voice filled my ears once more, his voice shaky and deeply, another sob coming from him, "I'm the reason he's dead."

"No-" Joe began to deny.

"No-" Barry stops him, his voice growing weaker, "I failed him, He was my responsibility. Now he's gone."

"It's all right." Joe comforted him, tears filling my own eyes, as I kept my stare on the ground.

-

"So we're sure that Fallout is secure?" Joe asks the next day, as we all stood in the cortex.

"Well, Lyla said she had some people who would be very interested in helping Borman control his powers." I inhale, crossing my arms, "She took him to a different ARGUS black-ops site- way off the grid. There is no way he isn't secure."

"How far off the grid?" Joe questions.

"Like, it would take Jack Ryan two Tom Clancy novels to find him." Cisco comments.

Leonard walks in, taking a spin in his new outfit, "I got to say, on any Earth, Snarts have style. Perfect fit."

"Thought you could do something with it." Barry weakly smiles.

"You wear it well." Caitlin smiles at him.

"Thank you." Leonard thanks, "You sure you can't come to the wedding? I could put all of you at a table with Ray's uncle Skip. He murders the Macarena."

"Yeah, Devoe's still out there." Barry nods.

Leonard shrugs, "Suit yourselves."

"But if you're looking for a place to honeymoon, our Earth has some pretty spectacular spots." Cisco hands him a small device.

"What is this?" Leonard stares at it.

"That is an inter-dimensional extrapolator. It makes small-scale breaches." Cisco tells him, "You know, in case Ray's uncle Skip wants to see how the other half lives."

"Oh, well, look at that." Leonard smirks, pressing the device against his coat, "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something navy."

"We're gonna miss you, Leo." Caitlin shot him a genuine smile.

"Gonna miss you, too, Caitlin." Leonard looks at her, "You're quite the badass, you know. Enough to make your alter-ego proud."

"Thank you." She smiles.

"Detective West, I know my Earth-1 counterpart gave you a lot of headaches." Leonard turns to him, "Hopefully I've begun to make up for that."

"Man, you prevented a nuke from leveling the city." Joe shook his hand, smiling, "We're good."

"Cisco, I'm really gonna miss that hair." Leonard told him.

"Okay." Cisco scratches the back of his neck.

"Zee Allen," Leonard smiles at me, "Thank you for helping me take down Nazi scum, again. You're quite the Team Leader."

I weakly smile, playfully winking, "I just didn't have enough fun the first time. Now, I've had my fair share on Nazis."

"And then there was one." Leonard walks over to Barry, stepping aside with him. The two of them sharing a small chat, then sharing a hug.

"Don't be a stranger." Barry told him, as Leonard opens a breach after pulling away.

"Oh, you never know." Leonard smirks, before jumping right through the breach, disappearing.

Cisco, Joe and Caitlin leave the cortex, my eyes landing on Barry as I slowly stood up from my chair, "I wanna be the amazing wife I am and ask how you're doing- but I don't wanna get yelled at again."

"I'm not gonna yell at you." Barry shook his head, the weak smile staying on his lips, as he reached out for me from where he stood, "C'mere."

I slowly walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry for being a jerk to you." Barry apologizes, looking down at me, "I didn't want to deal with the pain. And- I ended up lashing out on you because you were trying to be there for me. And I knew if I let you in- I'd break. Just like I did last night."

"I know- last night was pretty rough." I quietly say, playing with his hair, "And- everything since Ralph being gone. I know it's hard for you."

"I'll tell you about it when we see Dr. Finkle." Barry wraps his arms around me tighter.

"We're seeing Dr. Finkle?" I question, my eyes brows furrowing in confusion.

"Yeah, I gave her a call." Barry admits, looking down at me.

"We're going to couples therapy?" I stare at him, "Did Iris put you up to this?"

"It's not for us." Barry lightly chuckles, "It's so I can talk about Ralph. Let everything out."

"Okay-" I smile lightly.

-

"I knew Ralph since I was a rookie on the force." Barry began to tell Dr. Finkle, as we sat in her office, my hand on Barry's back, "And all that time, I thought I knew exactly what kind of person he was."

"Why is that?" Dr. Finkle questions.

"We just never saw things the same way, you know?" Barry told her, "I was raised to believe that people are good."

"And Ralph?" Dr. Finkle questioned further.

"He always saw the worst in people, and he knew how to take advantage of it." Barry looks down, his eyes holding a small tint of red in them, "But, um he changed."

"He did." Barry lightly clears his throat, as his voice got heavy as it did last night when he turned to Joe for comfort, "He changed, and I couldn't see that for a long time."

I start to rub his back slowly, trying to comfort him, knowing that he was at the edge of tears, my heart aching seeing him like this.

"And now that I can-" Barry laughs softly, looking down, fiddling with his fingers, sniffling quietly, going on, "I think that's what's so hard is, you know, of course, I miss Ralph, but it just took me so long to see what he'd become. I just I never had a chance to tell him just how proud I am to be his friend. And I always will be."

"I'm sure he knew that, Barry." Dr. Finkle assures him.

"Yeah." Barry nods, tears slipping his eyes as he placed his hand on my knee, squeezing it lightly.

"What else would you tell him, if you could right now?" Dr. Finkle asks him.

"That I feel responsible." Barry admits, his voice growing weak, his free hand wiping away his tears, "I feel responsible for what happened."

My free hand instantly falls onto his hand that rested on my knee, holding it to comfort him.

"And he taught me more than I could have ever taught him." Barry's voice grew quiet, his eyes landing on me, as I finally fully laid eyes on how broken he was, "And for that, I'll always be grateful."