I'm torn

"Leni, mahal nga kita!" Bongbong exclaimed. "Why don't you love me back so we're even?!"


"Bong, hindi ganon kadali yun." Leni cried. "I have three children,I'm the Vice President of this country and-"


"And you still love Jesse!" He cut her off. She bowed her head and sniffed. He exhaled heavily, "Leni, halos 6 years nang patay ang asawa mo. Bigyan mo naman ng chance ang sarili mong maging masaya ulit."


She looked at him,still crying. "Bong,sana naman maintindihan mo yung sitwasyon ko. I don't want to be in a position that I will go against my daughters."


"Kahit na hindi yun ang gusto mo?!" He exclaimed.


"Oo!" She exclaimed also. "Dahil mas mahalaga yung nararamdaman nila kesa sa kung ano man ang nararamdaman ko ngayon." She continued making him speechless. "Bong, please... Kung ano man 'tong nararamdaman natin,itigil nalang natin. Baka pagnagtagal pa 'to mas mahirapan lang tayo." She pleaded.


He exhaled heavily and looked away trying to stop his tears from falling. "Ang unfair mo naman... After all that we've been through,you're gonna left me hanging... Sana from the start sinabi mo na hindi mo kayang panindigan 'to,eh di sana hindi na rin ako umaasa. Laban ako ng laban,wala naman palang dapat ipaglaban. Iiwan mo lang din naman pala ako sa ere."


"I'm sorry..." She sniffed.


"Leni hindi mo ba talaga ako kayang ipaglaban?" He asked softly making her more guilty. "Kasi if I were you I would probably love someone who will stand for me even if the world says we're not meant to be."


Her heart wants to tell him that she love him too but her mind couldn't let her do that. "I can't... I'm sorry. Let's just be friends."


"I'm sorry Leni but you can't be just friends with someone you are madly in love with." He uttered and leave her behind.


---


3 months later - Leni was in Batanes for a family reunion plus her niece's wedding. She was sitting alone in a rocking chair facing the big window which enables her to enjoy the enthralling view of the ocean. She crossed her arms and legs,exhaled heavily and thought about him again. It's been 3 months since she decided not to pursue things between them,it's hard for her thinking that she caused him pain but what she did was the best for them.


They started as good friends until they've realized that they wanted more,he kept on telling her that he love her but one thing hindered her from letting herself to love him too, her daughters. She promised her daughters that she'll never love again after her husband died almost 6 years ago and she didn't want to break that promise even if it felt like dying not to fight for the man she love.


"Ma?" Someone spoke interrupting Leni from her thoughts.


"Jill,bakit anak?" Leni smiled at her daughter.


Jillian sat across her mom and holds her hands, "Okay ka lang po ba Mama? You look sad."


Leni flashed a weak smile, "I'm okay anak." Jillian looked at her Mom,unconvinced. Leni sighed,she knew her daughter didn't believe her. She leaned back onto her seat and looked at the ocean, "It's all fun and games until someone falls in love." Leni hinted.


"And that someone is you." Jillian replied. Leni looked at her daughter with a huge surprise on her face. Jillian smiled at her mom, "Okay lang naman ma na magmahal ulit."


"Pero jill-"


"Mama," Jill cut her Mom. "Be kind to yourself."


Leni smiled and hugged her daughter. "Salamat anak."


"Fight for him. Bagay pa naman kayo ni Tito Bongbong." Jillian jested. Leni withdrew from the hug and looked at her daughter with widened eyes,she didn't know that Jillian knew. Jillian chuckled, "Matagal ko ng alam na gusto nyo isa't-isa."


---


1 month later - It's Jillian's 18th birthday party. Only few people were invited including her relatives,friends,some of her Mom's colleagues and her Tito Bongbong.


Leni was surprised to see him at the venue,she didn't know that he's going to be there. Jillian together with Tricia and the support of Aika intentionally invited Bongbong to come over the party as it was their way to help their Mom to fix her relationship with Bongbong.


"Ma, hindi ka sasayaw? Ang ganda pa naman ng music!" Jillian approached her Mom as she saw her sitting alone.


Leni chuckled, "Ay naku, Jill! Alam mo naman na hindi ako dancer diba! Sige na kayo nalang. I-video ko nalang kayo ng friends mo."


Jillian sighed. Suddenly,the upbeat music turned into a romantic one. Couples and other guests occupied the dance floor for a slow dance, Jillian smiled naughtily at her Mom. "Bakit?" Leni asked. "Naku! Jillian Therese,alam ko yang mga tingin-."


"Tito Bong, gusto nyo po sayaw kayo ni Mama? Para naman po hindi kayo maboring. Baka mamaya bawiin nyo yung gift nyo."  Jillian didn't let her Mom speak as she courageously approached Bongbong who's sitting on the other table.


Leni panicked as soon as she saw Jillian asked him, "Jill,ano kaba,nakakahiya." Leni whispered. "Um. Bong. I. I'm sorry. Sorry. Nagbibiro lang 'tong anak ko." Leni apologized awkwardly.


"No. It's fine. It's. It's okay." He stammered.


"It's fine naman pala. So ano po Tito sayaw kayo ni Mama?" Jillian asked again.


Bongbong stared at Leni, "If it's okay with your Mom."


"Ay opo. Gustong-gusto nya po. Actually dream nya po 'to eh. Kasali po 'to sa marathon of prayers nya." Jillian exaggerated. She grabbed her Mom's left hand and give it to him.


Leni looked at her daughter threateningly but Jillian only smirked and sprinted away. He cleared his throat, "So... Um. Are you. Can we. Um. May I have this dance?" He stammered. She just smiled and nodded.


They started awkwardly but as the minutes goes by,they got their own pace. Her both hands was settled on his shoulders while his hands found it's home on her waist. It was a room full of many people but it felt like they're the only one standing there,the music - You by the Carpenters was perfectly playing by the live band and the time seemed to tick-tock a bit slow as they were staring at each other.


Suddenly,Jillian and Tricia cleared their throat interrupting Leni and Bongbong's moment. "Ang tagal mag I love you." Jillian hinted while continuously dancing with her Ate Tricia.


"Matatapos na ang music, ano na? #LabanLeni!" Tricia followed before she and Jillian moved away.


Leni suddenly turned red due to embarrassment,she bowed her head but Bongbong only smirked finding her daughters so cute. "It looks like you have something to tell me..." He started. "Balak ka pang unahan ng mga anak mo." He smirked.


"Ha? Um." Leni stammered,she was blushing so hard as their faces were so close.


"I'm listening..." He uttered.


"Um. Bong. Ano kasi..." She stammered. "I'm sorry... For what happened 4 months ago..."


He nodded. "That's it?"


"Um. And... I... Hindi ko sinasadya... I hope you understand... I just want the best for my children." She continued.


He nodded. "That's it?"


"Tsaka..." She paused finding the right words to tell him that she love him too. He looked at her.


"Bong,mahal kita!" She almost exclaimed aiming to be heard by him despite the loud music but when she do so the music ended causing her statement be heard by everyone.


They all looked at them,surprised of her confession. Leni widened her eyes as it sank to her how embarrassing moment that is.


"Kiss! Kiss!" Jillian and Tricia clapped their hands while cheering.


"Kiss daw sabi ng mga bata!" Bongbong teased her.


"Nakakahiya." Leni whispered.


He chuckled. "Hindi kita sasagutin kapag hindi mo ko i-kiss!"


"Aba-" She was about to speak when he abruptly cupped her face and kissed her deeply. Everyone clapped their hands.


He broke from the kiss but kept their faces close, he looked at her eyes and whispered, "Mahal din kita." She smiled so he kissed her again that she willingly reciprocate.


---


"You'll never live a happy life if you always care about what others think about you."


❤️💛

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