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A/N:

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since it is three months later, it's currently mid December rn in this story :)

Huge plot twist bc bam, this story needed it lol

DONT HATE ME

DONT HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE GAME

OH AND PS, SKIM OVER SOME CHAPTERS IF YOURE NOT CLEAR ON ANYTHING HAPPENING IN THIS CHAPTER

- Mia

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* THREE MONTHS LATER*

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- Natalie -

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I stared at myself in my mirror, a frown on my face.

"Jesus Christ." I whispered to myself, my hands to my face.

A lot has freaking changed.

By a lot, I mean.. If I looked back at myself three months ago, I would have literally no idea who it was.

"Natalie, babe." My boyfriend chuckled from my bed as I jumped slightly, glancing at the dark haired boy.

"Yeah?" I asked quietly.

"You alright?"

Zayn was on his side, smiling up at me as his brown eyes had slightly twinkled.

"You're doing that thing again." I mumbled, raising my eyebrows.

"What thing?"

"Like.. The thing where you smile and your tongue is like behind your teeth like.. Why." I rambled on, as he laughed, his eyes crinkling at the sides.

"Come here." He motioned me over as I sighed, sitting down at the edge of my twin bed.

The longer I lived in this dorm room, the more I realized how smaller and smaller it was getting.

He leans up, his hand on my cheek as he left a kiss at the corner of my mouth.

Smiling faintly, it was like I pictured his face for a split second. Just one.

Yes his.

Harry.

We both knew it wasn't right I guess, that was it.

I think it was both our decision to leave it in the past, to keep from hurting any of us further.

Three months isn't long, but.. I grew up.

I grew up, and became more of a pessimist through the time, I have to admit that.

We simply grew apart.

I mean, it wasn't hard to. He was all the way across the world.

I wasn't big on geography and nearly failed it in my freshman year, that probably says a lot about my little knowledge in where certain countries are.

And Zayn? Well.. It's a funny story to even begin with.

Harry and I? We never said goodbye. Not even a hello to start it all off.

We just stopped texting.

Shocker, yes. But just like any clichè movie would say, it wasn't us, it was just.. Life in general.

It was all a rush, we were heading two different ways, and it was so hard to keep up with each other like we did in the summer.

I feared this would happen, ever since we made it somehow official.

Even Alex knew, but she didn't bother me too much about it.

Everyone around me just knew, it wasn't going to last between Harry and me.

Really, they were all right.

But anyways, our last conversation was all a blur in my head. I couldn't get myself to rehash over it again. Not when I'm too caught up in the present.

Really Natalie?

If I was over this, why the hell am I thinking about it again?

Yet again, I couldn't really run away from it.

I still had the tattoo to haunt me for the rest of my existence.

The text message bubble.

I know Harry said some really cheesy things, the night we thought of getting this such a long time ago, something about it all being a memory, not something he'd regret.

But hell, I regret getting this.

It's like it didn't even mean anything to me anymore once he left, once I decided to leave it at that.

I got a glimpse of it on my wrist, quickly looking away.

"Two months of you and me, Natalie. I still haven't gotten to know what this ink on your wrist means." He laughed, tilting his head as he got a look at it.

I wanted to cry once he said that, I had no idea why.

Maybe just the thought of me being so naïve and stupid finally struck me.

After three months of avoiding this moment, here he is, confronting me about it.

"I was drunk, when I got it." I lied, shaking my head as I pulled my wrist from his grasp.

"I know, you told me this before. But is it really?" He asked curiously.

"Yeah, Zayn. It is. Please, just drop it." I murmured softly, my voice faint.

He stared at me, his eyebrows furrowed. "I can't keep this up with you."

"What?" I blurted out as he stood up from my bed and frustratedly paced back and forth.

"We've been together for two months now, Natalie. Two months of silence, of fake smiles, and something I still haven't figured out about you. You're so closed off, and I know it's because of that prick who left you but you don't have to be afraid to just open up to me for once Natalie. It's getting very tiring." He went on, but everything he said went into my ear and out the other.

"I.. I'm so sorry." I sighed. "I didn't know you felt this way. I had no idea, Zayn."

Today was Alex's birthday party.

She was going to go all out today, since she's turning 20.

"Just wait for me outside, alright? I'll follow right out." I whispered, just nodding at him.

I walked up to him and squeezed him in a hug. Kissing him on the cheek. I closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I repeated. "Please forgive me."

He sighed, pulling away to lock eyes with me.

I pulled a small smile as he cupped my face.

His fingers brushed my skin, pecking me on the lips.

"Okay." He nodded once before he had turned around and left, closing the door quietly.

I stood there in silence, looking down at my black tight, long-sleeve dress.

It was seriously like I was going to my own funeral.

Because I feel so dead, if that makes any sense at all.

I sat back on my bed, with a heavy heart and a mustered up courage.

Picking up my phone, I opened imessage and scrolled all the way to the bottom.

I wasn't the type to delete everything in existence after a harsh break-up, definitely not.

I mean, what's the point, if it's still going to be stuck in the back of your brain anyway?

It really is no use.

My eyes landed on Harry and I's message thread from September, as I opened it.

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[ September 17th, 2015 ]

[ 12:47PM ]

Harry : Hey, are you still awake?

Me : Oh, hey yeah

Harry : I'm sorry I haven't talked to you all week, you know it's just really stressful right now

and it's cold, I hate the cold.

Me : i miss you, Harry. A lot. And I hate the cold too

Is there any hopes on you visiting soon? Maybe Christmas break? I know it's far, but we can pull through a few months or so

Harry : yes, I'll see if I can save up alright? I'll find a job, maybe two.

Just to see your beautiful face again.

Me : I can't sleep.

Harry : get some rest, babe. You need it so much

Me : I'm crying again, this is unbelievable

Harry : no, no don't. You'll make me tear up, and my roommate is right across from me lol

Me : real men cry, Harry.

Harry : that's true. I am a man.

Me : so how are you?

Harry : tbh? I've been the best I've ever been in awhile. I'm doing amazing, but obviously just missing you is the only negativity.

What about you? Anything new?

Me : Well, Zayn is still unavoidable. Actually, worse now bc he's in my Literature class. Besides that? I guess I'm alright.

Harry : and Alex?

Me : she's really out there now, there's a possibility she might even do broadway in the future!

It's freakin' insane when I think about it.

Harry : well tell her I give her my best wishes.

And I hope you're happy, Natalie, really. I really, really wish I don't bring you down.

Ever since we met, all I've wanted to do was bring you up.

Me : yeah.

Um, well I've got to go to sleep. I wake up extra early tomorrow and all

Harry : okay, Nat. Good night :)

Me : night.

Harry : i love you.

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Tears brimmed in my eyes, my sight blurring inevitably.

This was our last conversation, we never spoke again after this.

I can't believe we both had just assumed it was over like that.

And the fact I didn't say I loved him back crushed me.

Of all the terrible last conversations we could have, this had to be the worst one.

We just sounded so out of it.

We didn't joke around like usual, we didn't randomly use caps lock like always.

And I sounded like an utter bitch.

Sobbing, I pushed my phone away from me and grabbed a pillow beside me.

I cried, and cried.

I buried my face into the pillow, screaming my lungs out until my heart hurt more.

The fact I didn't even remember or realize the last thing he ever said was i love you, made me angry with myself.

And with him.

We both made it this goodbye that we didn't even anticipate.

I loved him, I loved him so much.

So what the hell happened?

I cried shakily, the lump in my throat growing.

Somehow, in some way, we just got disconnected.

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A/N:

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OH

OKAY, WELL YOU GUYS WILL DEFINITELY HATE ME FOR THIS OMG

ITS ALL GOOD

PLEASE TELL ME Y'ALL ARE STILL READING OMG *PRAYS*

VOTE AND COMMENT PLEASE!

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- Mia x

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