Wei Ying sat on the pier his boots laying next to him as he play with the water with his feet. His back is aching due to another beating from the Madame Yu's zidian. A reminder to him. He must behave himself and not bring shame to the sect or let the sect loose face. He wish he had never took Jiang shufus hand back then. He wish he had not listened to the man's empty promises. He should have known when he first met Madame Yu that the woman did not like him but how could he. He was just a small child who was glad to be finally have a home and a roof over his head. Sometimes he wished that he had stayed on the streets yes maybe he would've survived or maybe he wouldn't had he would never know now. Don't get him wrong he is not ungrateful for what he had. He will always be grateful for Jiang shufu for finding him and giving him a place to stay. Clothes on his back even if it's not the sect colors. Food to eat. He have a sister and a brother even though not by blood but he still loves them still the same and would do anything for them. Right now though all he want is to disappear to a place no one can find him. He is just so tired of all this pain and hurt he has to face daily because nothing he does is ever right and then his back has to pay the price. His life is not his own not to do with as he pleases. No he had heard those words way to many times. You owe us a debt for taking you in Wei Wuxian and you will repay it even if it means with your life. So yes his life is not his own. He did not even realise the tears until he felt the wetness on his cheeks. He gave a soft sad chuckle as he wiped it away. What's the use in crying over spilled milk. Maybe I was always meant to live a life of misery and pain. Maybe I was born for this exact reason. Never to know what true happiness means. What is the purpose of living when all it gives you is disappointment and scars on your back. Maybe going to gusu may not be such a bad idea he sighs softly. Yeah maybe it isn't who knows what will happen. He stood up take his boots and made his way towards his room. When he arrives he slides the door open and walked inside sliding it close behind him again. He made his way over to his closet and took out what he needed and packed it in a quakin bag. Once done he went towards his bed and climb on it. He could feel the knot in his stomach tighten. His hands starts to shake slightly and his breathing become slightly faster. He closes his eyes and took a few deep breaths. In and out in and out. He did that he few times until he feels himself calming down. He lays down staring at the roof in the darkness knowing he won't be able to sleep so he just just lay there trying hard not to let his thoughts take control. He suddenly sat up and called for subian. The sword flew towards him and once he had him in his hands he unsheath it. Subian sings with energy but it barely register in his brain as the thoughts takes over. It would be so easy to just slit his throat and be done with it. Be done with this miserable life but he can't can he not like this. He sheath his sword and laid back down subian laying next to him as he continues to stares at the roof. The next morning he was up early due to him not sleeping the night before. He went to eat breakfast and he could feel the others eyes on him but he have no strength to pretend that he is fine so he kept his head low and shallows past the knot in his throat and stomach. After breakfast he was once again reminded that he must behave and not bring shame. He just nods his head as he stepped on the boat with Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli and the other disciples.

Jiang Cheng and Yanli looked at each other and Yanli went to where he was sitting." A-Xian are you fine? You are not sick? Are you? You have been awfully quite these last couple of months". She asked him. He looks at her and shakes his head." I am fine shijie. No need to worry about me". He said with a small smile before he looks away over the water again. "Wei Wuxian are you sure that you are fine. Do not forget your promise that we will have a good time now that we have our freedom". Jiang Cheng said to him. Without turning his head he said." I am and I did not forget do not worry". Jiang Cheng gave him one last look before he himself sat down. Wei Ying's mind went back to the night before and to what he was thinking in doing. How easy it would have been but he is a coward if nothing else. The boat ride was quite even the disciples were worried about Wei Wuxian. They are not used to their head disciple being this quiet. Usually he would make jokes or just talk about anything that's on his mind. But in the end they all made it out as their head disciple is just maybe thinking about the three thousand rules of the gusulan sect and how much he can break.

They arrived in Caiyi Town and dock then made their way to find a inn. They finally managed to find one which was not easy due to influx of sect heirs and disciples from all the other sects. The next morning they all dress in the gusulan robes and made their way up the mountain. When they arrived at the gates they gave their invitation to the guard at the gate and was shown inside. As they made their way up the stairs everyone was talking and the excitement could be felt amongst them but Wei Ying was trying not to turn around and run away. He don't know why but he suddenly felt a tightness in his chest and throat as if someone is choking him. He took slow breaths as he felt his hands becomes sweaty that's when he felt a hand touching him softly. He looks to his side and he saw the worry on Jiang Cheng and shijies face. He gave them a forced reassuring smile. She gave his arm a squeeze and smiles and him. He calms down just enough as they reached the top. Their stood master Lan and his two nephews. Lan Xichen and Lan Wanji. They bowed in greeting but Wei Ying could feel that someone is glaring at him so when he came out of his bow he can see it is master Lan and Lan Wanji the second jade. The looks on their faces were identical Wei Ying would knew it anywhere. They do not even know him but they are already judging him. He wants to laugh so badly at the irony. He was so glad to get away from Madame Yu but it seems that he have two more enemies. They were shown to their rooms and as soon the door behind them closes Jiang Cheng turns to him with a scowl on his face and said."What is wrong with you. We have not even been here long and you have already pissed off the Lans and why do you act so different ". Wei Ying walked towards his bed and sit down before he answers. "I can not help how other people see me or what they think about me Jiang Cheng. I have done nothing you were standing there so tell what did I do to deserve their anger". "How should I know. You always do something to piss people off. Remember what mother said. You beter nor let our sect loose face or bring shame to it". He said and turns and walked towards his bed and sat down. Wei Ying did not answer he just laid down and closes his eyes.

The next morning they all arrived at the orchid room for the welcoming ceremony and to present the gusulan sect with gifts from the various sects. Everything went well and soon all was done and they could leave for the next day the classes will start. Wei Ying walked out and made his way back to his room when he heard someone calling his name. "Wei-xiong hi. I am Nie Huaisang. It's a pleasure meeting you". Huaisang introduced himself. Wei Ying nods his head." Pleasure meeting you Nie Huaisang. Is there something I can do for you? I need to be somewhere". Wei Ying told him. "No no I just wanted... never mind. I'm sorry if I'm keeping you". Huaisang said as he is fanning himself. Wei Ying nods again then turns on his heels and walks away leaving a confuse Huaisang behind thinking to himself. 'Wei-xiong is not the young man I thought he would be or even heard off. I wonder what is wrong with him?'. He walked away with Wei Ying still on his mind. Jiang Cheng do not know what to think of Wei Wuxian's behavior so he went to his sister. "A-jie I am worried about Wei Wuxian. Something is off about him it's like he is in a world of his own". He voiced his concern towards his sister. Yanli looks far off and said as she turns her head towards her brother." I am also worried A-Cheng. I do not know what is wrong with A-Xian? He is just not the same person anymore ". She said and place a bowl of soup infront of her brother. The moment Wei Ying walked through their door and slides it close he fell to his knees and grabs his robes. The pain in his heart is so real and he started to hyper ventilate. His hands are sweating and his whole body felt as if it is burning up. His breathing became shallow and not long he was gasping for air. His hands shook and he felt like screaming but instead he bites his lower lip as tears runs down his cheeks. 'What's wrong with me. What's happening to me'. He felt as if he was dying as his heartbeat became irrational. He lays down right there on the floor and pulled his knees into his chest as he rocked his body back and forth. He does not know for how long he laid there on the floor or how much time has passed but the next thing he remembered was Jiang Cheng worried voice beside him. "Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian why are you laying on the floor? Come let me help you up". He let him help him and steered him towards his bed. Jiang Cheng looked at him and once again asked." Are you sure that you are fine. Should I take you to the healers?". Wei Ying did not trust his voice so he just shakes his head no. Jiang Cheng gave him one last look of concern and said." If you are sure. Here shijie send you some soup. She is worried about you and so am i". Wei Ying tried to smile but his face felt stiff and he could not bring himself to say that everything is fine because he does not think that it is. He looked at the bowl of soup and knows that he won't be able to eat so he put it on the table. He laid down on his bed as he heard Jiang Cheng changes into his night clothes and then he heard him climb into bed and not long soft snores were heard.

When Wei Ying was sure that Jiang Cheng was sleeping he stood up took sabian and walked over to the door and slides it open and walked outside sliding the door close behind him. He stood there just outside the door for awhile lifts his head and look up at sky and took some deep breaths of the crisp night air. What a beautiful night it is. The sky is clear the stars in the night sky shining brightly and the moon looking so beautiful. A full moon tonight. He took another few deep breaths before he starts to walk. He had no direction at all of where he was going. He soon found himself in an open field of grass and without thinking he unsheath his swords. He brought it up eye length and whispers. "I am sorry and forgive me for what I am about to do". Tears rolls down his face as he close his eyes and with one swift motion he slit his throat his sword fell from his hands and his body dropped to the ground in a heap as blood flows from his neck wound and stained the grass beneath. Wei Ying died in that open field all alone. The next day long into the afternoon they found his body. His sword still stained with blood. Yanli was inconsolable and Jiang Cheng tears rolled without a sound. Lan Qiren informed Sect Leader Jiang. A funeral was held even though Madame Yu was strongly against it but Fengmian did not pay her any mind. His tablet was hanged in the Jiang ancestral hall. Wei Ying courtesy name Wei Wuxian the head disciple of the YungmiangJiang sect son of Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze will forever be remembered as the boy who was born with a smile. Who took everything that has been thrown at him with an easy smile and a full belly laughter.

The end.